ZEDX, I'm sorry that your job seems to be pulling you apart from your spouse.
Your case is not impossible, but you two will need to be VERY careful about documenting your relationship. For example:
1. You will need to visit each other often, and keep your boarding passes to show that you are seeing each other. If you vacation together, make hotel reservations with BOTH names on the reservation. Get people to take pictures of the two of you together with identifiable landmarks in the background.
2. I suggest you keep your banking relationships together - so even if you are on the East Coast, try to keep your joint accounts on the West Coast. If you take a job in a different financial institution, and your paycheck is automatically deposited to that institution, then set up an automatic transfer of funds to the West Coast bank.
3. Try to keep joint insurance and joint ownership of assets on the West Coast.
4. When you talk or chat with your spouse/step-daughter, keep records (phone, Skype, etc.).
5. I'm not sure what your housing situation is on the West Coast, but if you and your spouse are renting, keep both names on the lease. If she owns the house where you are living, see if you can both go on the deed.
6. Make wills that name each other as beneficiaries. Give each other Medical Power of Attorney.
By the time you file for your ROC, your step-daughter should have graduated from high school and your wife may have moved in with you on the East Coast.
When you DO file for your ROC, be sure to write a cover letter that explains your situation. It's not uncommon for people to wait for children to finish school before moving, and it's not unusual for couples to have to live apart temporarily for employment. The only uncommon part of it all is that it's happening right after your conditional Green Card was approved.
I hope that by "East Coast" you will be moving to a state that is supportive of your relationship. I'd hate to be trying to live in North Carolina at the moment.
I write back to you as part of a same-sex couple who has had to live apart from her spouse on separate continents. My personal experience with this is as a US citizen living in Hong Kong applying for a Green Card for Australia (My spouse is an Aussie.) We were successful, though our living apart did raise a few eyebrows. However, we had property together in Australia, we had joint bank accounts in Australia, I had an Australian driver's license, and I had financial accounts of my own. Believe me, I kept every since boarding pass, picture, reservation. And I have an Australian Green Card!
Best of luck!
Sukie in NY
