LuzyC

Lord God Creator of All Things

Giver of Every Good and Perfect Gift

I Praise And Worship You

Lord You Have Always Been Faithful To Me

In Your Infinite Love And Mercy

You Have Always Stooped To Listen To Me

I Come To You Now And Humbly Ask

For This Special Favor-GRANT All The Visa Petiton Here

I kNow In Your Wisdom It Will Be Helpful

For All That Here Asking For All Your Blessings

At This Moment I know

That You Have Set In Motion

All The Processes Of Divine Love

And Caused To Hurry To All Our Assistance

The Spiritual Gifts Of Your Command

So That All Our Petition May Be Granted-Thank You

In The Name Of Jesus Christ Our Lord Amen.

Shon, sending money to your fiancee is NOT a black mark against getting her visa approved, nor is it an indication of fraud whatsoever! Where are you coming from?

.... I hope you remain clear on your stance when interview time is here..

Honestly, I think you're misrepresenting the facts. Why not ask any of the VJ members here who went through the interview process in Manila? Not only that...how has this come to be about my circumstances? Do you even KNOW my circumstances? Jinky has a doctorate in dentistry and runs her own clinic. I have sent her money but that doesn't make our relationship fraudulent in any way and for you to suggest that it will in the eyes of the CO is outrageous! But keep up with the stereotypes - it shows your own personal prejudice.

your assuming I am having personal prejudice. I also seen this process in other ways than YOU! I know

how the CO is, know how the USICS adjudicatior is too. you have YET to experiance it. Life really dont spin around VJ. sorry but, it dont. btw, when you use the words Sterotype and Prejudice! know whom you are talking to ok -buddy!

Shon, I have no doubt about that, but that doesn't mean you've got the inside scoop on the Manila Embassy or know what kinds of questions the CO is going to be asking at the interview. I have read forums where people described the interview process there and you're the first person that even suggested sending money would possibly send a red flag to the CO. I would imagine that a lot factors are taken into consideration and perhaps if there is reasonable suspicion that the relationship is fraudulent, that might be an issue. But outside of any other suspicious factors - sending money alone is not nor should it be a problem. You're insistence that sending money other than for family emergencies as suspect of fraud plays up to the stereotype. Jinky works in her clinic 7 days a week, but sometimes she doesn't have enough patients to pay her rent for the clinic and I voluntarily help her out. She even started selling a beauty product on the side to supplement income. I understand the concern that financial dependence can influence a relationship, but at some point you've got to trust your instincts and do what you feel is right. I feel it's right for me to help her, but I don't feel obligated. I've already had to deal with the stereotype of Americano 'buying' his Filipina bride with others - it's disheartening to find it here on VJ where if anything we should all be sympathetic to such prejudice.

Steven..

Never argue with an IDIOT,other people might not know the difference!!

Say hello to your guapa wonderwoman for me..

Ingat!

it does not matter if there are any more replies in this thread I won't read them, I just end up scrolling to post number 386.

She makes her enemy's legs get all wobbley.

Gary Sweetie baby,,,

Just let the kid's playin'..your too old for that ok?

I love you for being such a good boy

Thanks for that Sis ..

Very quickly I'm going to explain why I feel the way I do.

No one here can deny that the Phillipines is a high-fraud visa country. We all know the scenario all too well...ususally it's an older man with a younger gorgeous Phillipino woman. Does that mean they're all fraud? No, of course not...but you cannot deny that there are many who are. I applaud the couples here who have discussed money & how each wants the marriage to be structured. I have no problems with those who want a 'traditional' marriage if both are on board with it. Live Love and Be Happy and Blessed!

But to me, someone who joined the site less than a month after 'meeting' online, a sceanario where the man is older, a scenario where it's clear the couple doesn't have enough communication skills to discuss things like money, support, etc...one that appears that the second he stepped on the plane to go home, she was on here wondering about support....looks dodgy. So I said so. Harsh? absolutely! Could I be wrong? I'm sure that's a possibility! But at the end of the day, that's the way I see it & we've seen the scenario so many times here....I think it smells fishy and dodgy to no end. To assume that every couple here has the best of intentions is short sighted & just cos I am a member here does not mean I have to offer support despite the way I feel.

I understand the tendency to want to defend this relationship where you are engaged to someone from the same country...but not all unions are created equal.

Lisa I wish to say something here... sure the Phillipines is a high-fraud country... and am quite sure that the USCIS is aware of that... I think they scrutinise every visa application... and considering they would have more facts on which to base their judgement, don't you think it could be left to them to decide whether yes or no as far as this or any couple is concerned?

My first reaction to that post was huh??? But hang on... who am I to sit in judgemwnt? Do I know all the facts??? Do I know what the Filipino culture is all about??? Do I know how this couple interact??? I don't.

And if you can base your judgement on a poorly constructed question (which seems like she was trying to find out whether it is considered a responsibility or not - for her culture is very different from the American culture) and be so brutally judgemental - then there is really nothing left to say... I do believe you said you believe in god... then let me (the athiest) quote something to you from your scriptures...

"Let he who is without sin cast the first stone"

"Do not judge lest you be judged. For with what judgement you judge, you will be judged and with what measure you mete, it shall be measured to you again"

Thanks for your sweet thoughts about Us Melo..

this ones for gary...r u sure u will be able to work a 40 hour job again after luz comes here. remember u r supporting her and her family now and u said when she comes here u will only be supporting one household again.

how can u cut her family off when she comes here and become one household again?

u just cant stop helping them because she is here with u.

Hello ..Thanks for your relevant Question,I can feel your concerned too..

Well ..lets just say that EVERYTHING is well taken care off whether im here or im there.

My Family will live whether Gary support us or not..

Thank you..

Mine is 7610..Work good to me! I like my wallscreen

I do have a problem with Gary's post however;

The only time we ever really argue is when she wants to go back to work to take some of the pressure off of me. I absolutely refuse to let her go back to work. I have told her that when her visa finally comes and we get married that she will never work. Her job will be to take care of me and my home and it will be my job to supply the money. That is the way I want it.

That sounds pretty archaic to me, and totally unfair to Luzy. If my wife wants to work, then she can work, and its not for me to tell her she "can't". Besides being chauvinistic, it just wouldn't fly with Chutima, no more than it would if I was told to stay home and "take care" of someone else and their home. This isn't the dark ages.

It may sound archaic to you but to me it's a traditional relationship. When Luz and I first started getting serious I told her my views on marriage. It was known up-front. It is also what she wants. If you don't believe me ask her yourself. She is online here. This is our relationship and you have no right to pass judgment on it. So please keep it to yourself.

We fall into this "minority" as well, and neither of us are from an asian country. These are decisions we made together early on in our relationship, based on how and where our previous marriages went wrong.

I have worked this entire time, except during the five months I stayed with him, hell I have worked the majority of my adult life and will continue to do so if we need it. My husband doesn't want me to have to work, the moment we are financially set my job will then be to take care of the home and this includes him. We feel like in our relationship having more traditional values is the way we want to go. I don't see a thing wrong with living like this if both persons agree with it.

My British half has stated time and time again, "when I get home you are quitting". Just don't feel like that makes it wrong, it makes me feel very loved and delighted that he wants to take care of me. Luz like myself has certainly proven she has and can still take care of herself if need be.

I was fortunate enough to spend some time running our home, I got to admit I loved it. He came home everyday for a prepared lunch, which gave us an hour of time to be together. When he walked in the door at the end of the day, dinner was on the table the house was clean, we ate cleared up together and then had the rest of the evening to enjoy one anothers company. Me being home gave us an extra couple of hours or so each day. We weren't both coming in the door trying to prepare dinner, do daily house chores etc making ourselves more tired and unable to sit down and relax.

People can't be so quick to judge. For us me staying home, is more of a blessing and the result is we have more down time for each other. If I were the one making a nice salary I would certainly do the same for him.

I feel like what Gary is saying and intending to do here, is give his bride a much needed rest from the life she has endured. I read nothing more into his words, besides the fact he loves her very much and wants to give to her all that he can and lead a traditional style life with the woman he loves. If she were a white middle class American, would this judgement be the same? Sure there are situations were the asian female is used as a house slave, plenty of American females in a not so desirable position too. We have to quit profiling, and realize there are normal couples coming from every walk of life not every relationship from certain regions is a scam.

For all couples who love their other half very deeply, most would probably love to be financially stable enough to take care of the other person. This is what couples are supposed to do give to one another, if that involves finances so what if they can afford for one to stay home.

Again as I posted earlier in this thread, the OP needs to discuss this with her other half. IMO she should not have ask this question to a board of strangers. Perhaps it is just to early in her relationship, and they have yet to discuss how they will share a life together. Maybe she has a difficult time financially and knows her OH has enough that he might or could want to help and was just unsure how to discuss it with him in fear or embarassment. Throughout this long process of ours, I know there have been times when we have relied on one another financially, things happen and sometimes you have to ask for help. Who better to ask than the person you love.

Thank you for that..

Now,Go home and magtanim ka ng kamote!!!

magtanim ng kamote...

Luz ang puso mo, ang puso mo..dahan dahan lang..

kahit ano... wala akong paki-alam

Roi_Aggie..

SUS MARYA!!ANONG PROBLEMA MO?We maybe argue about me working but i agree wholeheartedly if Gary dont want me to work,If i get the chance to get my Precious Visa and be with Gary then by all means i will be a wife to him, and taking care his house and all his needs..nothing wrong with that!!Being a wife and taking good care a husband is a career im gladly to choose!

Pls dont say very offending words..as Melo say have some compassion to others and may i add respect(wala ka nun eh)

And who are you telling My sweetie that dont participate?If you think You have opinion then we have our own also!!

Now,Go home and magtanim ka ng kamote!!!

Ang pangalan ko si Robert, at wala akong problema. Ano ang gagawin mo, bahala ka, talaga. Ikaw naman magtanim ka ng kamote!

Oh And so You Are ROBERT..Hi ,here's sampung piso,Buy yourself Ten pesos worth of respect because you have none!!

Yes You have many problem to the fact that even some men you see here in VJ ask an advice to how to send money to Manila or compare the best ways to send in particular countries bothered you..why?Who are you think that its not right huh?

Ok ngayun din bagay talaga sa iyo magtanim ng kamote! now nah!

Well said, Gary. Unfortunately, this thread has turned into a circle jerk and I don't think anything anyone can say right now is going to stop it short of us reporting this to the VJ Administrator.

What exactly are you going to report to the VJ Administrator? This thread is no different than any other, and there is no flame war going on or name calling. I fail to see why it should be reported.

As to the stories both you and Gary have told, they are not exclusive to the Philippines, but are in fact common to Asian culture in general. In most Asian countries, especially for common workers, there is no Social Security or retirement programs for families when the elderly are no longer able to work. That support comes directly from the family, and the children in particular.

The problem people were having with the OP has NOTHING to do with the examples you and Gary gave, because the OP was talking about support from outside the family and from little more than a new bf.

For a daughter or son to help their family, is very ASIAN, and very common. My wife helps her mother and sister when she can, because they were the ones that put her through college. On the other hand, my wife never asks me for money, or for me to support her family. That is why she can't wait to get a job so she can help her family.

I do have a problem with Gary's post however;

The only time we ever really argue is when she wants to go back to work to take some of the pressure off of me. I absolutely refuse to let her go back to work. I have told her that when her visa finally comes and we get married that she will never work. Her job will be to take care of me and my home and it will be my job to supply the money. That is the way I want it.

That sounds pretty archaic to me, and totally unfair to Luzy. If my wife wants to work, then she can work, and its not for me to tell her she “can’t”. Besides being chauvinistic, it just wouldn’t fly with Chutima, no more than it would if I was told to stay home and “take care” of someone else and their home. This isn’t the dark ages.

Roi_Aggie..

SUS MARYA!!ANONG PROBLEMA MO?We maybe argue about me working but i agree wholeheartedly if Gary dont want me to work,If i get the chance to get my Precious Visa and be with Gary then by all means i will be a wife to him, and taking care his house and all his needs..nothing wrong with that!!Being a wife and taking good care a husband is a career im gladly to choose!

Pls dont say very offending words..as Melo say have some compassion to others and may i add respect(wala ka nun eh)

And who are you telling My sweetie that dont participate?If you think You have opinion then we have our own also!!

Now,Go home and magtanim ka ng kamote!!!

thanks gary , i appreciate it a lot.

You go Girl !!Dont let this ''peoples opinion'' discouraged you..This is nothing compare to what i got when i choose to love Gary,just because im from a what they called poor country,they think that all i want is a free ticket to USA!!,(WHICH I DONT TAKE IT AGAINTS with them).Everybody has its own opinion..it is ok but JUDGE US?Oh well

I think there is a cultural thing in the Philippines that families help each other out financially. Jinky has two sisters that are RN's working abroad in Ireland. They saved up and bought the family a house in the Philippines. So it is customary to offer support where and when needed. I understand the outrage people have expressed over her question, but I'd give her the benefit of the doubt that her intentions were not bad however misguided she may be. Perhaps she was thinking that since her fiance has asked for her hand in marriage, she's wondering at what point does he become 'part of the family' so to speak? We can assume all we want about her intentions but I thought Visa Journeys is suppose to be a community which offers help to those who have questions. I think after the one hundreth post, she got the answer she was looking for. Seems that a lot of people here relish in making examples out of others. I hope she won't be afraid to ask any other questions regarding her transition to America.

There you go steven..VJ is suppose to be a community that offer/give helpul information to everybody but sad to say.. ...there is some out there...oh well

I read the first post when this thread was probably 2 pages long... my first reaction when I read it was ouch... how can she... but I stopped to think.... I don't really know anything about the OP or the Filipino culture to make an educated response. Many of us just presume we know what's what. Too many are judgemental; too many are just down right nasty. So what if she changed her handle??? So what if she removed her timeline??? Personally, I am fed up with seeing this happen over and over and over again - too much aggression... too much nastiness and too many people who think they know it all. Has the word compassion been removed from your dictionary???

Your very right Melo Just curious to know ..What happened to this people?

YAYAYAY!

I was approved too. After calling the faince, my tears have gone. Wow, we're on our way..........

Congratulation!!!!!Wow!!! CSC Really Working!!

I can feel that ours is coming!!!

This news that u got your NOA2 lift Gary's spirit..He is getting frustrated,quiet and CRANKY (hehe) to me this fast few days..Now he is all smiling and looks so cute and pogi again!!

Hugs and goodluck to the rest of your journey!

Hello all VJ Friends..,How About GaryC?He need that too!!LOL!!

I know Im Pretty Obvious hehe..Just want to be In My Sweetie's Arms soon, LOL!

Good Luck To US !!!

Don't worry Luz - we haven't forgotten you two:

http://www.visajourney.com/forums/index.ph...24519&st=15

OH Your so sweet Kitkat,thank you very much!

I will include you and William33 In my Wednesday Novena And In My Prayers!

Thank you ..Goodluck to US all!!

Hugs!!

GaryC has my vote!!! I really like GaryC, a genuinely nice guy!!

Here is to GaryC and Luz!!!!

Hi William33,

THank you for your personal vote for GaryC LOL!Yes its is so easy to like GaryC-HE IS SO NICE AND A GENUINE MAN!!That is why I love him!

I Wish Your speed Approval too William..You deserve that!You Are In My Prayers !

Goodluck To US all!

Just want to put a note out there that those three are always congratulating everyone. Lets put some fingers together for those three. Good luck to you guys. !!!!

Hello all VJ Friends..,How About GaryC?He need that too!!LOL!!

I know Im Pretty Obvious hehe..Just want to be In My Sweetie's Arms soon, LOL!

Good Luck To US !!!

Are You A Modern-Day Chick Who Follows Her Heart Or An Old -Fashioned Gal Who Needs To Be Wooed With Flowers ,Chocolate ,And The Works Before Committing To A Guy?

Here In the Philippines,Courtship Or Ligawan still rules..it is very romantic to me.Im a Romantic by nature,seing guys do things they've never done just to get your attention always amazes me,I feel so loved appreciated and respected.Aside that Gary giving his 100% love to me i find it so sweet and amazing when he make tattoo of my name on his arms as one of his MILLIONS way of coutship!And he still courting me up to this day..so sweeeettttt!!!

well sorry to say that my fiance was lying to me and we broke up....

no more k1 for me

do i need to delete my timeline? how do i do that?

but just wanted to thank everyone on the forum for the wonderful help and advice here...

and i wanted to wish u all the best of luck in finding true love.. (does it exist??)

sincerely,

walt

Hello Walt,

Sorry to hear that..

Pls always believe that TRUE LOVE exist. I know!!Dont worry about losing someone i know it hurts but IF its RIGHT,it HAPPENS..BE STRONG !

"WHEN LOVE IS LOST ,DO NOT BOW YOUR HEAED IN SADNESS;INSTEAD KEEP YOUR HEAD UP HIGH AND GAZE INTO HEAVEN FOR THAT IS WHERE YOUR BROKEN HEART HAS BEEN SENT TO HEAL "-unknown author

Pray hard, it works!

Luz

Hi Luz,

What do you think about "Pink"?

Hello Littleone..

Sorry i reply with GaryC account..haha

Yes i like Pink..sounds really good to me..!Thanks

i need to jump! jump jump jump! hahhaah thanks you guys, my prayers are always with you all...

Congrats!!!Yeheeeeeyyyyyyy!! You make me jump for Joy here!!

This great NEWS gives me hope that Ours is next..that means Im gonna see my Gary very very soon!!

Go CSC Go!!

Went to church this morning for my Mother of Perpetual Help Novena and pray hard that CSC people be kind enough to be generous to all of us here waiting!!!

Good Luck For the Rest of Your Journey!!!

LuzyC

Happy Happy Birthday!!!

Wish You Have Many More Birthdays Celebrations To Come!!

Have fun And Enjoy!

Luz and GaryC

If you want to wear white, go for it! It gets a bit silly to do the big frilly white dress if you're on your fourth or fifth wedding, not to mention ridiculously expensive, but if you never had one for your first wedding then why on earth not now... your wedding is your day and it doesn't matter if it's your first or your fifth - you do what YOU want to do and ####### anyone who tries to rain on your parade.

Thanks Kajikit..I will wear white and be happy beautiful bride at least for that day, its my special day and i dont care what others think ,the important things is im marrying the man that i really love and want to spend the rest of my life forever..

Apologise if i make reply in Gary's account..im a newbie here and get confuse..Thanks!

Greetings,

I wanna say thanks to all your sweet thoughts and advice!

I have my 1st wedding at age 19 and its my ex parents get the dress for me which looks like i attend my graduation day.

I want to have a nice wedding and be pretty at least for that day LOL and feels like i want to have white formal dress but someone sez that i CANNOT wear white simply beacause white is for a virgin and first timer bride ONLY !oh well..

I might just pick a pastel color and be happy when that time comes!

Thank you all

One of the fun things about the US is that we are a nation of immigrants. Wedding ‘tradition’ is based mostly on the traditions of the family and not on one ‘American’ tradition. Now…there have developed some ‘norms. One example of this is the bride’s family on one side and the groom’s family on the other. But even this is not always practical. A good example of this is a wedding I went to this past weekend. Two USCs both born in the US got married. Both are 1st generation Americans. One family came from Ireland the other came from India. So for the actual wedding they blended tradition of both Irish Catholic and Hindi wedding rituals. And there was no divide between the groom’s side and the bride’s side. There was just one block of seats for everyone.

That being said…figure out what elements YOU would like to have in your wedding. Then put them in and enjoy!

Joel

Thanks for your thoughts Joel!

It will be an American with Filipino touch wedding then..

And Oh you and your wife are really a beautiful couple ,ive been viewing your wife's pics many times and she is so beautiful and a gorgeous bride in her wedding gown!

I don't know the tradition is for a second wedding in America. Please help me out.

Congratz!!