MeAlone

First time im posting i see june cases moving quite fast, wishing the best to everyone !

It's a copy of my posting in July filers:

I am looking at Igor's list and I can see previous months were approx 400 applications K1 California center, May is 313 applications, June is 247, July is 186 and August is 71,

Does it mean less applications = faster process? I hope so

Tasha

Photos with siblings would be great if he has any. He will be asked if you met his family but ex in laws is a no go !

Since his parents are deceased and he has no other family (don't know what you mean

by 2nd and 3rd unless you mean cousins) aunts, uncles, cousins are fine.

DO NOT go to his ex's parents !

If you do it gives the appearance that his ex and family is in on divorce for the green card.

The ex factor is done. Finished. Over. He owes them no explanation that he is happy now.

This also could be seen as introducing a second wife to the parents of his ex.

Is he Christian or Muslim ?

Not sure if you meant the daughter's family (ex in laws perhaps ) or just his daughter being his family, sorry if I misunderstood.

He has no siblings, he never was married, his baby is with his extended family, the mother of the baby abandoned her and is living somewhere in Egypt or another country, he is totally Christian, I know his church and also 95% or more Urhobo are Christians. Wow, it is complicated over there and you know a lot. Thank you again.

Tasha

Mrs Bonsu means that when you go to visit his family and have any kind of traditional "blessing" it will be thought of as traditionally

married by the CO even if you just think it is just a blessing/introduction/bringing drinks.

It has happened many times in the past in Ghana and Nigeria embassies and if you talk about it in the interview and show photos

be very careful or he will be denied. It does not matter that you did not get married, from the perspective of the CO you are.

Therefore wear your western clothes, no traditional clothing when you do the "blessing" and just make it a little dinner getting

acquainted with his family. You want photos with the family but be very careful what kind of photos and be careful when he describes

any "blessing event" to the CO. It is crazy and unfair but it is what it is. Too many here have been denied doing just that and

end up being denied for being deemed married by the CO with just an engagement.

Oh! Now I understand. Thank you so much for your explanation. I better don't go there, anyway it's a not safe location. I better go to Lagos and maybe we just meet briefly there, though he has not close family, his parents passed away and so called family is a 2nd, 3rd grade, only his baby daughter is his real family, so maybe it's not even necessary for now for me to meet anybody. He went to talk to them as his origins are from there and he wanted to visit and maybe to show he is happy, I understand that. I better stay only with him and the baby in Lagos.

Tasha

May I suggest you read through the country portal in which you will be applying for him, if he or you got to that interview and tell them what your posting here they will say your married and deny your k1 and tell you to do a cr1, if your doing fiancé then have proof for fiancé, if your gonna marry in his country then have proof for a marriage it is that simple, wanting to learn his culture is fine, but leave it out of your interview, good luck ?

Why do you think we are married? I even never was in his country, we always met in another country, Ghana by the way, beautiful

I am looking at Igor's list and I can see previous months were approx 400 applications K1 California center, May is 313 applications, June is 247, July is 186 and August is 71,

Does it mean less applications = faster process? I hope so

Tasha

Hello, new week, 5 days to go and to see maybe USCIS starts approving July too, June is going well and fast.

Wishing to all of us a very fast approval

Tasha

Ominiknowest. Seeking answers yet knowing it all.

I am very thankful to you too. Nobody knows everything and it's good to have the advice, always

Tasha

Don't wear the same traditional garments at the 'meeting/blessing' with his family when you go visit, the CO will misconstrue it as a traditional

wedding no matter how he will explain it at the interview. Take some photos, wear your western clothes and have dinner together.

These customs can quickly become more than first intended and develop a life of it's own with family making some decisions

you weren't aware of.

Thank you so much, it's everything new for me about their traditions and you are right, not knowing and wishing to fit and please could bring problems, better to ask before to go or do anything.

Tasha

Lagos embassy likes family interaction and prefers that the parents are in favor of the relationship so hopefully they will come around

in support of you both.

I suggest you are on the premises for his interview and visit with his family, take some photos.

Thank you I will do it, I am planning to travel and to stay with my fiance and visiting before our interview and we will need to go to get his daughter over there, so we will have our meeting and probably blessing.

Thank you for your advise.

Tasha

Yet he has no parents, they are deceased. It's an extended family,

My fiancee recieved a mail that our K1 case has been forwareded to the US Consulate in Nigeria. Please what do we do next?.

Please, read this and do what they say, do not wait them to contact you, they have a very well organize site

http://nigeria.usembassy.gov/immigrant_visas.html

Tasha

Hi all...just as an update; my fiance interviewed yesterday and was APPROVED!! I'm still taking it all in..what an amazing experience. Now time to look for flight ticket!

CONGRATS!!!!!!!!! It's so great!!!

Tasha

Thank you. It's great! My answers are all positive, I think we are doing great and we really love, respect and understand each other.

But, today my fiance told me his family wasn't happy about him marrying a white foreign woman and older than him.

Oh well he said he stand firm on his ground saying it's the best and he knows it's the best for him, so he will marry me anyway.

So no family blessing for now, I hope we win their heart in the future

Tasha

It does sound a lot like he's just asking his own family for their blessing. People are just warning you because we see it so much on here where a traditional marriage is done (with the bride price) and then they get denied. Try not to get defensive, people are just trying to save you from a really big headache and lots of wasted time.

I think you worried people when you said he was bringing gifts, that's the key word that fueled people's answers.

Best to you and yours!

Thank you so much. I did read about the traditional wedding and I mentioned he will put them drinks, not gifts. and yes, he did explain me he is asking for a blessing from HIS family only, I know it's ok, it's not a marriage and nothing even close.

Thank you again to all of you, I am reading all the advice here and I did read before about the traditional ceremony troubles. No way we will do it.

Tasha

I understand what you mean, but to their defense... I know a married couple where one was in the US and one in Canada and their families came together in Nigeria and did their traditional marriage without either one of them there.

It is possible!

Yes but only if it's planned and with 2 families consent. My family is not there, lol

Tasha

Lol! I am sitting here at home in Dallas, my fiance is getting some drinks with his family in Nigeria talking to them about marrying a foreign woman and praying asking for blessing for to have a good future and here is a VJ member trying to convince me it's a traditional marriage.

And I am not even there, thousands of miles away.

Tasha

I find it weird that's all.

Did you pay for his trip and the things he took to the village? As far as I know, men don't ask for blessings or permits from their family to marry any woman despite the race or tribe, they inform their parents or family members of their intentions to marry a certain woman and the family accompanies him to the woman's family and the ask for her hand in marriage, then the man and woman will be blessed traditionally which is now the traditional marriage. That is when they need the food and drinks.

What do I know? I am not from urhobo.

I guess we are talking about the same, he went to inform but it's not like in western culture, it's asking the oldest family members to get together and to inform them with respect and drinks, I am not sure about my fiance got some snacks or not, I remember him mentioning drinks. Yet he is from a very religious family and blessing is a must in their family, I know it.

I find it weird that's all.

Did you pay for his trip and the things he took to the village? As far as I know, men don't ask for blessings or permits from their family to marry any woman despite the race or tribe, they inform their parents or family members of their intentions to marry a certain woman and the family accompanies him to the woman's family and the ask for her hand in marriage, then the man and woman will be blessed traditionally which is now the traditional marriage. That is when they need the food and drinks.

What do I know? I am not from urhobo.

Thank you. Interesting. No, I did not pay for anything and my presence is not required there, so it's NOT a marriage. But my fiance told me he even will do in writing the permit and blessing to authorize him to marry outside of his tribe and a couple of Urhobo friends did tell me it's the tradition in their tribe, it's not a ceremony, it's a visit and the family getting together, his family only. It's what I was asking my fiance and some friends too because I was as you thinking how not to get by mistake to traditional wedding thing and it's NOT.

If you have some more information, please, share, I would like to know and it's helpful to others too.

Tasha

I'm sorry I'm not trying to burst your bubbles but I find this post questionable. I don't know how long you know or have dated this guy but asking for blessings from elders or family to marry outside his tribe????? Buying food,snacks and drinks??? I hope you did not pay for any of that?

I know my fiance for exactly 1 year and I traveled 3 times staying at his house, living and cooking together, he lives in another country, not Nigeria now. And what the difference if he buys drinks for his family members and goes to visit his village asking for blessing. Is it a bad thing? I did ask some Nigerian friends and it's a lot of respect and a tradition.

But, please, if you have some doubts or some different information, share it here. I'll be happy to have your advice

It's asking the permit and the blessing to marry outside of his tribe from his family members.

Tasha

With the help of a couple of friends I did sort it out. Yes, it is very traditional for Urhobo to ask the family for their blessing to be married, it's some kind of permission and I am very happy my fiance is doing it now. He is doing it alone and he is asking the blessing of his elderly to marry out of his tribe which I hope will be granted. (lol, at our age) I am very happy, it tells me he respects me and he really cares about being married to me for life.

We are planning this way:

1. Getting K1 visa an him coming to US

2. Marriage license and court wedding here in US

3. His green card application and him working for to pay for the next marriage ceremonies, lol

3. Church wedding here in US somewhere in a few months

4. Nigerian traditional wedding traveling to his family location probably in our 1 year anniversary and giving all respect to his family (he needs to work hard for us being very generous with his family then, lol).

I hope this post will be useful to other couples to do it well and not to get in traditional marriage and dowry before time. I wanted to clarify it for myself also

Tasha

Nigerians are knkwn to be family people. Reguardless if they marry any ethnic group they always get the families blessings, is custom to them. My husband mom side of the family is Urhobo and my husnand is based in Warri,Delta state as well.If u have any further question i will be happy to answer,just DM me..

Thank you so much for your answer. I will PM you now

Tasha

and I am very happy and supportive with my fiance traditions, asking because I do wish to know better

my fiance traveled saying he goes to ask the blessing of his family members for to marry me, he also mentioned he needs to buy drinks for them and maybe some food / snacks, he is from Warri, Delta state. Is it a tradition to ask the family blessing before the marriage?

I am reading and reading all over the internet and I can't find anything like this, only writing about the tradition to ask the bride's family for blessing and there are drinks and paying paying the dowry for her. I am not even in his country, he went alone and I would like to know about this before marriage family asking blessing tradition and how important is it in his culture?

Tasha

You can't get the k1, if you do the traditional marriage . It is considered marriage and you would be asked to apply for a spousal visa.

Thank you. I know about it and I am in US, not there. He said to me he went to ask for the family blessing, not a traditional marriage. I am confused what's that?

Hello everyone!

Can somebody tell me how is the Nigerian and specifically Urhobo marriage tradition?

For now because we are waiting the fiance visa, I am more interested in traditions before the marriage? How necessary or important is for Nigerian man (or Urhobo man) to ask his family members for our marriage blessing? And how it is done? If it is done and necessary?

hey all!

we got our NOA2 yesterday! On my fiancé's birthday too. Pretty cool gift!

fingers crossed that next week all the June filers will have an answer! Keep up the faith y'all!

Cool! Congrats!

Tasha

Wow. This is me also. I am a Basket Case.Can't focus at all. My house is half painted half pictures back on the wall. House is a mess. Need to fold clothes But I seem to start and get no where. It seems like I need him more and more when I have to deal with every day drama. AC was out cost $2000 AC in car went out a little after then my Hot water heater. Lord help I need my man to handle some of life messes. I live in Florida to hot for added stress. Spending to much money that we need.Can't focus. But I can foucus on putting that number WAC in to check status daily about 4 times even knowing they up date only ones a day . Pray for me

Lol, girl, we are the same and Nigerian fiance too