Robor007

What a heartbreaking story. I'm very sorry to read this and I'm sure you're hurting deeply. Rely on your family and close friends to get you though this most difficult window in your life. And remember, time heals all wounds.

Here ya go Daisy... Fill in your timeline here

FWIW, I'd be happy to be in your position.

Someone suggested www.mobilecaller.com, their sample rate to the Philippines is $0.10/minute.

I know they offer a decent rate to Russia but I have not tried their service yet, though I intend to on Thursday! =)

I used MobileCaller.com for a few months to call my fiancee. It was the best price I found to call both land and cell lines in Manila. Also very reliable and decent voice quality. Another nice feature is youu can have it auto-recharge and set how much and when you want it to do it. However, if you run down to zero balance while on the call it will still drop you even though your account is recharged. Not a big problem, just an FYI.

Another option is have them call you. When my fiancee found out I was paying about $10/hour to call her she started calling me. She got cards that cost 3 pesos per minute - about 1/3 of what I was paying to call her.

Congrats and good luck. I hope to be joining you in about 3 1/2 months.

I had read somewhere on the net the other day that if you haven't been able to go to the country where your fiance lives because it would cause financial hardship that it would still be ok. My question is.......could someone please help me locate this info for me? I can't remember where I found that and I would like examples or experiences or suggestions from anyone that can help. I can go there, but not before I file for the K1 Fiance Visa. I need help, suggestions, anything. Please? Thank you so much in advance.

Financial hardship in itself is not a valid excuse for a waiver of not meeting from the USCIS...

Yeah, I think using a 'financial hardship' would be bad anyway. By that I mean, if you can't afford to fly and meet together, how are you going to pay for the process and support her once you are together. It's always best to meet in person anyway. Getting to know each other on the 'net is one thing but meeting face to face is another.

I spoke to her current husband through Email and he said he's willing to file the divorce provided she doesn't try and get anything from him in the process. She doesn't want any of his assets so that shouldn't be an issue. Hopefully this process will start soon and be over quickly.

Congrats to both of you!

I love your sig by the way. So true.

Thank you everyone for reading our situation and for the advice. I have contacted her divorce attorney and given him the details of the situation. He disagreed with what I told him but I don't think he's an expert in Philippine law. He was only hired to handle the divorce proceedings. I asked him if he could contact my fiancee's current husband and ask him to file and he said it's a gray area. Legally he can not give him advice because my fiancee is his client. I told him there is no point in going any further with the divorce with her as the petitioner as it will not be recognized in the Philippines and she would only have to petition for annulment there. That would be recognized in the US making the existing divorce proceedings redundant. Ah, what a mess!

I spoke to my fiancee and she is okay with me contacting her current husband and asking (begging if necessary ) him to file the divorce. I'm going to call him and see if he's willing. If he is either he can get his own attorney to handle it or I'm going to see if he can use the guy who started the process. Whatever is easiest for him will probably be the best chance of getting him to file. Keep your fingers crossed. I'm going to call him over the weekend. I'll report back. Hope it's good news.

I'm currently engaged to a Filipina. I've got a *long* thread posted about our story here:

http://www.visajourney.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=19661]

The short version is, We met in January on a cruise ship she works on and started a relationship shortly after. The one problem with our relationship is she is currently married to a US citizen. They were married while she was in San Fran port in May of '05 and spent all of an afternoon together after getting married. They each went back to work, she on the ship and him in Florida so they were apart. The relationship went downhill quickly (a few weeks). He accused her of cheating on him and she couldn't take the constant fighting. She ignored him and they stopped communication. That's the way it was for about a year. Then she and I met and wanted to start a relationship but we can't with her already married.

She asked him to file and he decided to be stubborn and say he's happy with the situation. He said he likes their 'marriage' so he can't repeat the mistake. As it turns out Florida law allows either spouse to file for divorce provided one of them is a resident of 6 months or more. We were happy to hear that and she began divorce proceeding in Florida. We did not realize that doing so is almost pointless as the Philippines will not recognize the divorce because she is the petitioner. Before learning that news we wanted to use a K-1 or K-3 process to be together. We now realize that is not possible because she never updated her marital status in the Philippines and the Philippines will not recognize the divorce she filed for in the US.

We are going to ask the lawyer to stop the current proceedings and ask him to file. Since the divorce proceedings began he has been more cooperative. If he will file, great. If not, she will be here in October to finalize the divorce in court. My question is, once she is legally divorced in the US, can we marry and persue a CR-1 visa even though she never updated her status in the Philippines and isn't technically divorced there?

Thanks for reading and thank you for any advice!

FYI ... the Philippines does recognize marriages in the U.S. They DO NOT consider the Philippine citizen divorced and able to remarry if the Philippine citizen filed for the divorce abroad. She is only legally able to marry in the Philippines if her foreign spouse initiated the divorce or she obtains an anullment in the Philippines.

If her ex is cooperating, perhaps she could withdraw her divorce petition and have him initiate a new one.

Do I understand this correctly? The US recognizes marriages that take place in the Philippines and the couple is considered married without additional paperwork. You're just considered married. The Philippines recognizes marriages that take place in the US but the Filipino has to file paperwork to change their marital status for the marriage to be official? Is that correct? If her marriage was never made official in the Philippines and disolved before my petitioning her would it be a factor? Was she ever considered married there?

As far as her husband, he is willing to cooperate but he didn't want to file because he would have to appear in court. He said he was embarrassed to do so and he should be. He did some things during their brief time together and short time until the relationship fell apart that he's embarrassed about. I will not go into them because I respect my fiancee's privacy but the things he did are unforgiveable and the reason she stopped communication with him until our relationship started. He has been more cooperative lately though and we might possibly get him to file. If she has to I guess it's worth a try. I will talk to the attorney. He's handling all communicaiton and paperwork with him. Thank you for the info.

There have been beneficiaries from the Philippines here on VJ that were denied the visa for marriages that had not been registered with the NSO.

Are you saying to do this 'by the book' she would have to register her already dissolved marriage that occured in the US with the Philippine NSO then turn around file for an annulment in the Philippines for that same marriage that long longer exists in the country it took place (the US)? When we were in Manila we were told by the Family Law attorney we talked to that it would be $2000 USD and about 7 months for an annulment. The much money and time for a marriage that wasn't registered there and no longer exists in the US? That's whack! It totally defeats the purpose of getting a divorce in the US because a Philippine annulment would be recognized by the US (according to what I was told by the Family Law attorney). We considered annulment through the Philippines before learning she could divorce file for divorce here in Florida. If this is the case, why wouldn't the Philippine attorney know this and tell us this?

No, I'm not saying that. I'm saying that just because a marriage isn't registered with the NSO doesn't mean that it did not exist and that she is legally able to marry in the Philippines. She has to show that she is legally able to marry to get married there. Will she fraudulently state that she has never been married and support that claim with a certificate of non marriage from the NSO? Will that be a legal marriage? Could it be challenged? As far as I know she will either have to show that she was never married, married and got an annullment, or her foreign spouse initiated her divorce. The first of these would be fraudulent. You will certainly have to declare her divorce subsequently on her petition and provide a copy of it for the visa. Certainly the consulate there knows the marriage laws of the Philippines and what constitutes legally free to marry. They will see that she initiated the divorce and was not legally free to marry in the Philippines according to Philippine law. I'm not trying to be difficult or contrary, I just wanted to point out some possible obstacles that you might encounter before you fully decide what path to take. I think their foreign divorce rules are not reasonable, but they are there and have to be dealt with. I do wish you well and good luck with your journey.

Please don't take my frustration with the rules and process as frustration toward you. I don't intend it to be. We do want to do this the legal way and follow the rules so there are as few possible snags along the way.

But we don't want to get married in the Philippines. At first that was the plan because it was recommended by people here and elsewhere. With her recent divorce and then a K-1 soon after it might (would likely) be inspected closely by the US. Thinking was a K-3 would more show an established relationship and committment. But I now understand that she can not divorce in the US and marry in the Philippines because her status never changed.

Would it be okay if we continue as fiancee's engaged, and continue to build our collection of evidence that will prove our relationship is genuine. Then after she is legally divorced submit the paperwork to start the K-1 process. By then we will have known each other for 9-10 months, been in a serious relationship for 7 1/2 - 8 months, and have seen each other in person 3 times totalling about 7 weeks. I've got piles of SMS messages, Emails, Yahoo IM logs, and phone card expenses. I'm also writing her several times per week and she tries to write me at least once per week (she only gets mail once per week in port though).

What are your thoughts on this plan? Sound okay? Thanks again for taking the time to help a newbie here!

Unfortunately, the K1 requirement for being "free to marry" includes her status within her country as well as within the U.S. If she isn't legally free to marry there, then she's not qualified for the fiance visa either. It's a wacky thing the Philippines does dealing with divorce. Unless the foreign spouse initiates the divorce, she will never be free to marry again in the Philippines. Now you see why I suggested she withdraw her petition for divorce and have him file it.

There are lawyers both in the U.S. and in the Philippines that will advise their clients to take chances that are not quite legal. That doesn't make it safe or correct.

At least present the rebuttal to the lawyer and ask him if what he suggests is stictly legal and safe.

Okay, so she can't get divorced here then be petitioned via K-1 or K-3? What if we marry here and persue a CR-1? Would that be legal? Gosh, this is frustrating!!!!!

I just don't like the fact that I have people pointing out 'red flags' in my relationship when they only know our relationship from a few short paragraphs.

It's no problem - we've dealt with worse

In all honestly they were only telling you what MANILLA is going to see and think...not personal judgements on you. Like I said in my post, Manilla is no Sydney...they will scrutinize not just the few paragraphs you've given us BUT EVERY LITTLE BIT of your relationship. Just having evidence isn't enough. They see that you've only known her a short time....you've only been together for a short time...she's been married to a US citizen before. They WILL Judge your relationship and that' s all anyone was saying

for K1 visa (even in Manila)...as long as both parties are eligible to marry, has proof that they've met within 2 years of filing, proof of relationship, proof of financial support from petitioner...then i don't see why they can't be approved. the burden of proof is on the parties filing for K1. it's not the consulate's job to figure out whether they've spent enough time together or if they truly love each other, etc.

I am not at all worried about proving our relationship. We've got a lot available now and by the time we're ready to present our case we will have much more than most couples. I work in the computer field so I'm online almost all waking hours. I'd be embarrassed to admit the time we've spent in Yahoo IM. On top of that SMS, Email, and especially phone calls. I've been writing letters and sending packages for the past month as well.

The problem is, apparently she is not going to be eligible to marry me via K-1 or K-3 because she's the one filing for the divorce here. That's the sticking point at the moment. I am going to talk to her divorce attorney tomorrow and seek his advice. He also does immigration but I'm not sure how much he knows about Philippine law. Sigh... The process hasn't even begun and already I'm near wits end!

I'm wondering how she will enter the US to attend her divorce hearing.

OP should also consider the speed of K-1, K-3 and CR-1 cases through Manila. There are some significant difference.

Might look for a US lawyer who is very familiar with Phils family law and US immigration. Get another side to that story.

She will be here in the US using her C-1 visa (crewmans working visa). My fiancee knows an attorney in California who is Filipina. I think I'm going to ask her to contact her. Thanks!

FYI ... the Philippines does recognize marriages in the U.S. They DO NOT consider the Philippine citizen divorced and able to remarry if the Philippine citizen filed for the divorce abroad. She is only legally able to marry in the Philippines if her foreign spouse initiated the divorce or she obtains an anullment in the Philippines.

If her ex is cooperating, perhaps she could withdraw her divorce petition and have him initiate a new one.

Do I understand this correctly? The US recognizes marriages that take place in the Philippines and the couple is considered married without additional paperwork. You're just considered married. The Philippines recognizes marriages that take place in the US but the Filipino has to file paperwork to change their marital status for the marriage to be official? Is that correct? If her marriage was never made official in the Philippines and disolved before my petitioning her would it be a factor? Was she ever considered married there?

As far as her husband, he is willing to cooperate but he didn't want to file because he would have to appear in court. He said he was embarrassed to do so and he should be. He did some things during their brief time together and short time until the relationship fell apart that he's embarrassed about. I will not go into them because I respect my fiancee's privacy but the things he did are unforgiveable and the reason she stopped communication with him until our relationship started. He has been more cooperative lately though and we might possibly get him to file. If she has to I guess it's worth a try. I will talk to the attorney. He's handling all communicaiton and paperwork with him. Thank you for the info.

There have been beneficiaries from the Philippines here on VJ that were denied the visa for marriages that had not been registered with the NSO.

Are you saying to do this 'by the book' she would have to register her already dissolved marriage that occured in the US with the Philippine NSO then turn around file for an annulment in the Philippines for that same marriage that long longer exists in the country it took place (the US)? When we were in Manila we were told by the Family Law attorney we talked to that it would be $2000 USD and about 7 months for an annulment. The much money and time for a marriage that wasn't registered there and no longer exists in the US? That's whack! It totally defeats the purpose of getting a divorce in the US because a Philippine annulment would be recognized by the US (according to what I was told by the Family Law attorney). We considered annulment through the Philippines before learning she could divorce file for divorce here in Florida. If this is the case, why wouldn't the Philippine attorney know this and tell us this?

No, I'm not saying that. I'm saying that just because a marriage isn't registered with the NSO doesn't mean that it did not exist and that she is legally able to marry in the Philippines. She has to show that she is legally able to marry to get married there. Will she fraudulently state that she has never been married and support that claim with a certificate of non marriage from the NSO? Will that be a legal marriage? Could it be challenged? As far as I know she will either have to show that she was never married, married and got an annullment, or her foreign spouse initiated her divorce. The first of these would be fraudulent. You will certainly have to declare her divorce subsequently on her petition and provide a copy of it for the visa. Certainly the consulate there knows the marriage laws of the Philippines and what constitutes legally free to marry. They will see that she initiated the divorce and was not legally free to marry in the Philippines according to Philippine law. I'm not trying to be difficult or contrary, I just wanted to point out some possible obstacles that you might encounter before you fully decide what path to take. I think their foreign divorce rules are not reasonable, but they are there and have to be dealt with. I do wish you well and good luck with your journey.

Please don't take my frustration with the rules and process as frustration toward you. I don't intend it to be. We do want to do this the legal way and follow the rules so there are as few possible snags along the way.

But we don't want to get married in the Philippines. At first that was the plan because it was recommended by people here and elsewhere. With her recent divorce and then a K-1 soon after it might (would likely) be inspected closely by the US. Thinking was a K-3 would more show an established relationship and committment. But I now understand that she can not divorce in the US and marry in the Philippines because her status never changed.

Would it be okay if we continue as fiancee's engaged, and continue to build our collection of evidence that will prove our relationship is genuine. Then after she is legally divorced submit the paperwork to start the K-1 process. By then we will have known each other for 9-10 months, been in a serious relationship for 7 1/2 - 8 months, and have seen each other in person 3 times totalling about 7 weeks. I've got piles of SMS messages, Emails, Yahoo IM logs, and phone card expenses. I'm also writing her several times per week and she tries to write me at least once per week (she only gets mail once per week in port though).

What are your thoughts on this plan? Sound okay? Thanks again for taking the time to help a newbie here!

FYI ... the Philippines does recognize marriages in the U.S. They DO NOT consider the Philippine citizen divorced and able to remarry if the Philippine citizen filed for the divorce abroad. She is only legally able to marry in the Philippines if her foreign spouse initiated the divorce or she obtains an anullment in the Philippines.

If her ex is cooperating, perhaps she could withdraw her divorce petition and have him initiate a new one.

Do I understand this correctly? The US recognizes marriages that take place in the Philippines and the couple is considered married without additional paperwork. You're just considered married. The Philippines recognizes marriages that take place in the US but the Filipino has to file paperwork to change their marital status for the marriage to be official? Is that correct? If her marriage was never made official in the Philippines and disolved before my petitioning her would it be a factor? Was she ever considered married there?

As far as her husband, he is willing to cooperate but he didn't want to file because he would have to appear in court. He said he was embarrassed to do so and he should be. He did some things during their brief time together and short time until the relationship fell apart that he's embarrassed about. I will not go into them because I respect my fiancee's privacy but the things he did are unforgiveable and the reason she stopped communication with him until our relationship started. He has been more cooperative lately though and we might possibly get him to file. If she has to I guess it's worth a try. I will talk to the attorney. He's handling all communicaiton and paperwork with him. Thank you for the info.

There have been beneficiaries from the Philippines here on VJ that were denied the visa for marriages that had not been registered with the NSO.

Are you saying to do this 'by the book' she would have to register her already dissolved marriage that occured in the US with the Philippine NSO then turn around file for an annulment in the Philippines for that same marriage that long longer exists in the country it took place (the US)? When we were in Manila we were told by the Family Law attorney we talked to that it would be $2000 USD and about 7 months for an annulment. The much money and time for a marriage that wasn't registered there and no longer exists in the US? That's whack! It totally defeats the purpose of getting a divorce in the US because a Philippine annulment would be recognized by the US (according to what I was told by the Family Law attorney). We considered annulment through the Philippines before learning she could divorce file for divorce here in Florida. If this is the case, why wouldn't the Philippine attorney know this and tell us this?

FYI ... the Philippines does recognize marriages in the U.S. They DO NOT consider the Philippine citizen divorced and able to remarry if the Philippine citizen filed for the divorce abroad. She is only legally able to marry in the Philippines if her foreign spouse initiated the divorce or she obtains an anullment in the Philippines.

If her ex is cooperating, perhaps she could withdraw her divorce petition and have him initiate a new one.

Do I understand this correctly? The US recognizes marriages that take place in the Philippines and the couple is considered married without additional paperwork. You're just considered married. The Philippines recognizes marriages that take place in the US but the Filipino has to file paperwork to change their marital status for the marriage to be official? Is that correct? If her marriage was never made official in the Philippines and disolved before my petitioning her would it be a factor? Was she ever considered married there?

As far as her husband, he is willing to cooperate but he didn't want to file because he would have to appear in court. He said he was embarrassed to do so and he should be. He did some things during their brief time together and short time until the relationship fell apart that he's embarrassed about. I will not go into them because I respect my fiancee's privacy but the things he did are unforgiveable and the reason she stopped communication with him until our relationship started. He has been more cooperative lately though and we might possibly get him to file. If she has to I guess it's worth a try. I will talk to the attorney. He's handling all communicaiton and paperwork with him. Thank you for the info.

If necessary we could delay filing the petition for a bit. I will discuss with the guy helping me with the process and the immigration attorney. Thanks for the suggestion.

I think that by the time we're ready will definitely have plenty of evidence to show we've got a real relationship. I keep all of our SMS, Email, and Yahoo IM records. I send her several hand-written letters per week and she tries to send me at least one letter or post card. Her mail is only delivered to her in port once per week. I've also got nearly $1000 in phone card bills to call from the US to her in Manila. She spent plenty to call me as well but I doubt she can prove it because she pays cash (pesos) for everything. Plus, by the time she will be ready for an interview we will have known each other for about 18 months and will have spent a week together in Manila, a week together on her cruise ship in Canada/Alaska, 4 weeks together at my place in Florida, and I'm planning to fly back to Manila with her for another week after that. I've met and have pics with her mother, brother, and 2 cousins. And when we are together I take *a lot* of pics.

She will have a valid divorce document in October. It's in process now and both of them have been sent the paperwork to start the process. According to the attorney, an uncontested divorce in Florida is usually done in less than 2 months. Add in a little more time because it's about 2 weeks to send mail to her on the ship.

Thanks again everyone. I do appreciate all the advice and pointers about potential problems. That's why I am here. I'm seeking from people who know because I want us to be prepared.

I'm sorry about my previous (defensive) responses. I just don't like the fact that I have people pointing out 'red flags' in my relationship when they only know our relationship from a few short paragraphs. Of course I saw the warning signs. Of course we've discussed it together. My fiancee's explanation of the situation satisfied me. She showed me in black and white as well as how she's treated me since we became a couple. Again, I apologize for getting over-defensive and I don't want to come across as a newbie with an attitude. I hope those I barked at will accept my apology.

As far as the situation, let me rephrase what I mean and what I was told...

My fiancee is currently married to a US citizen. She is in the process of divorce and it will be finalized in October while she is here during her vacation with me. The question I had is, will Philippine law recognize her legal divorce in the US? I was told, no they will not. However, because she never adjusted her marital status in the Philippines she isn't regognized as married there.

When I was in Manila with my fiancee we spoke to a family law attorney there. At the time we didn't think she could file for divorce in the US and we were looking into an annulment in the Philippines. He told us that if she did want to persue the annulment she would first have to adjust her status because as far as the Philippines was concerned she wasn't married.

Please keep in mind that we are not trying to do anything devious. I want my fiancee to be here with me *legally* and while we know the process is a long rollercoaster ride (I have a close friend who went through it but without the divorce issue) we are willing to endure it to be together. Thank you all again.

EDIT: The attorney she is using for the divorce here in the US is also an immigration attorney so I will definitely run this by him. Thank you again!

Update:

I just received a reply from the person helping me with this process saying that because my fiancee never adjusted her marital status in the Philippines there is no marriage to consider for divorce/annulment. He recommends the K-1 route because there is no question about previous marriages whereas the K-3 does ask. He is the expert and I trust his advice so it sounds like I have my answer.

Thanks all... Rob

He's the expert, eh?

K1s most certainly ask about previous marriages ! You have to provide divorce decrees for them. Also, some consulates require the previous marriage certificates at the interview.

Maybe the expert needs to do some more reading.

Again, I think I didn't describe it properly. I was told we will have to provide proof of divorce for the K-1 process but to the US, not to the Philippines. This does make sense to me because when I was in Manila with my fiancee we talked to an annulment attorney there. He said in order for her to file for annulment she would first have to adjust her status because she wasn't considered married there until then.

Update:

I just received a reply from the person helping me with this process saying that because my fiancee never adjusted her marital status in the Philippines there is no marriage to consider for divorce/annulment. He recommends the K-1 route because there is no question about previous marriages whereas the K-3 does ask. He is the expert and I trust his advice so it sounds like I have my answer.

Thank you to everyone for the input and suggestions. As we go through this process and I learn more about it I hope I am able to give back to this forum as thanks for the help we have received.

Thanks all... Rob

???

Sounds to me like she is married. Manila doesnt determine what marriages are valid, especially if it took place in the US.

You better run this across an attorney, as I am having difficulty in understanding what you are saying.

I think I didn't describe the situation correctly. She is legally married in the US right now. She has filed for divorce here in Florida. According to the Family Law attorney she is using she can file for divorce based on her current husband's Florida residence. He is complying with the divorce so that will make things easier. She will have to appear in court while here in October to finalize the divorce.

Update:

I just received a reply from the person helping me with this process saying that because my fiancee never adjusted her marital status in the Philippines there is no marriage to consider for divorce/annulment. He recommends the K-1 route because there is no question about previous marriages whereas the K-3 does ask. He is the expert and I trust his advice so it sounds like I have my answer.

Thank you to everyone for the input and suggestions. As we go through this process and I learn more about it I hope I am able to give back to this forum as thanks for the help we have received.

Thanks all... Rob

Practically speaking then, since you are asking about Visa issues, I'd recommend you read up as much as you can. One thing in particular - Affidavit of Support. As I understand it - if you do bring her here to the U.S. with either K-1 or K-3 Visa and then later you two happen to divorce (we've had a few threads lately from that very situation), you will be legally obligated to support her financially after the divorce. Just something that you should be aware of. It would be for a very long time.

Best Wishes!

I've done a lot of reading in general about the K-1 and K-3 processes but not detailed into the AOS part. Without looking further I recall when I agree to it I promise the US government that I am responsible for my spouse and she can not depend on welfare support. Keep in mind that we've both discussed that each of us will already be divorced once and are determined to not go down that path again. Thank you for the advice!

Your personal situation is not of importance to me, and I am not going to judge you or give you life advice. However, if you DO decide to go through with this, I would say marriage and a K3. The reason is because, in my opinion, there will be less to "prove and debate" when it comes to the application approval. I have read that visa applications immediately after divorces from other people are frowned on and highly scrutinized. With the K3 you are either married or not, and can prove it, which in turn proves knowledge of eachother and time together - evidence of relationship. A K1 filed immediately after a non-citizen divorced a citizen is going to raise many questions anyway....I think a solid marriage going into the interview would help.

She didnt apply for a visa with him did she? That could be a big factor also...

Do what you want...but it is my $.02

I am here because I'm seeking advice and I please know I definitely appreciate yours. For either process we have *PLENTY* of evidence of relationship since meeting in January. I could print a stack of Email, IM, and SMS communication as well as photos with her and her family and phone records. With her working on the ship both of us have spent a lot of $$$ to keep in touch by phone. My only concern is a delay in the process because she's going to be divorcing in October and shortly after seeking a K-visa. That's why I'm here. To learn. Thank you for your $.02. It is much appreciated!

EDIT: No, their relationship fell apart shortly after they were married and he did not petition her.

JG & LL - No, the situation isn't perfect - few LDR's are. And no, my fiancee and I may not have spent a lot of time 'in each others' company' to this point, but like most couples in a LDR, it's hard with work and immigration limits. I see many timelines with couples only being together once or twice. That said, my fiancee and I have already spent a week together, we're planning a week long visit on her ship soon, another month long together here in October, and another week long visit in November in the Philippines. All of that would be pre-marriage. After that I'd guess I've got more more 'in each others' company' time than most K-1/K-3 couples in LDR's.

FWIW, I posted brief summary of what my fiancee and I have talked about together in the time we've communicated. My post contains the issue I'm concerned about in our visa process. I can't put everything our talks contained into a few paragraphs. Maybe I didn't describe our situation the best way but I tried to summarize it so as not to bore people but still seek the best course of action given our issue. I'm sure your response had good intentions but at the same time I think you were way too quick to judge, especially in public.

workin4somethin & AFQuaid - Thank you for the advice. I have done a lot of research on the K-1 and K-3 process and I know the basics on how they differ. I think the K-1 option is best given our situaion, that is why I made my thread here rather than the K-3 forum. My only concern is her previous marriage and divorce causing a problem with the process (some have told me a K-3 would be questioned less).

I was going to respond and answer these questions but in doing so I feel I am justifying my relationship with my fiancee to people who know nothing more than my original message here. I was looking for help, not judgement. While I appreciate the warnings, I don't need them. My fiancee and I have talked about the past, present, and future. We are both very secure in all. Thank you for your concern. Please let this thread drop.

It's a long story but I think it's important

You're right. It's important. There's more to the story than you know. I'd contact the soon-to-be-ex-husband and get the other side. Ask her point blank if she has ever had someone petition for a visa for her.

Past behavior can be a portent of things to come. If she gets married hurriedly, or without knowing the finace very long, there may be something else going on. Don't rush into marriage. You can protect yourself with a K1. If unpleasant things arise, you have the option to withdraw it. Sorry, but your story has warning signs all over it. The object is not to get the visa as soon as possible, but to be married as long as possible.

I understand what you're saying but I have already talked to her soon-to-be ex-husband. The marriage was his idea, not hers. In our Email exchanges with him all he did is tell me about her cheating on him and lying to him and forward me the Emails he sent to her accusing her of this. I've talked to her about this and she told me that she went into the marriage with the best intentions but when every conversation they had ended in her crying she stopped answering her phone and responding to his Emails. He tried to file for divorce shortly after the fallout but she didn't respond to that either. He never filed any paperwork to bring her here. If she was using him for entrance to the US she didn't go about it very well.

I'm not rushing into marriage, I just want to be with the woman I love. I'd be happy to have her live here with me in Florida and put marriage off. Unfortunately, that's not possible because of our immigration policy. I was married from 1993-2000 myself and I knew my ex for years before getting married. Despite that, we got divorced. It's unfortunate but it happens. We were both to blame and looking back I'm sure things could've been done to have saved it. I like to think I learned from those mistakes and will not repeat them.

I'm new to this site and I'm looking for the answer to a difficult question. Which process would be best for my fiancee and I? We are leaning to K-1 right now. Here's my story...

I am a US citizen living in Florida. While on a vacation cruise in January of this year I met a Filipina working on the ship. During my vacation she and I had a few conversations together totaling a couple of hours and I gave her my contact info. While in port on the next cruise she sent me an Email and we kept in touch that way until her contract ended in March. After that we used SMS, Email, Yahoo IM, and phone to communicate. We've logged literally hundreds of hours (plenty documented) together between then and now. At the end of May I visited her in Manila and we spent a week together. We had the best time and really got along great. We had talked so much before my visit it was like we had been a couple for years. During my visit I proposed to her (6/1) and we are now engaged. We both went back to work on 6/4 and and just want to be together. The one kink in our situation is my fiancee is currently married to a US citizen. It's a long story but I think it's important - I'll try and be brief.

My fiancee met a man while working on the ship. They had a on-gain, off-again relationship for a year or so. During one of the good times she was in port in San Fran and he flew there and they were married by the clerk of the court. They spent only that afternoon together (12:30 - 4:00) and she returned to work on the ship. Within 3 weeks of being married he became insanely jeaous and accused her of cheating on him (she was not). He sent Emails to her friends and family saying she was unfaithful and lying and using him. She cut off communication. They have not seen each other since the marriage and they don't communicate. Fast forward to she and I meeting and developing a relationship. We want to be together but can't because she's already married. She filed for divorce 2 weeks ago. He is going to cooperate so it should be a simple process.

My fiancee will be in port in Ft. Lauderdale in October. I'm going to pick her up and because she's got a C-1 visa (crewmans visa) she can stay here up to 29 days. During that time she will appear in court to finalize the divorce. After her visit I am planning to fly with her back to Manila to spend a week or two. So we have a decision to make - do we immediately file a K-1 petition in October after the divorce is final or should we marry in the Philippines and go a K-3 route? Given that she will be recently divorced from a US citizen, which would be the best route for us to be together as quickly as possible. Thank you very much for reading.