samers love

Gosh that was great...I played it twice and then sent it out... thanks for the laugh!!!

Wendy

As mentioned earlier...i found that very funny clip about red flag in seeking a spouse...

Enjoy...lol

Congratulations!!!!!!!

There is a woman who I have used who arranges my airfare. She has gotten me much cheaper rates then listed even on expedia.com. Her name is Diane and her email address is okemostravel@comcast.net . If you email her Perhaps she can save you money. I dont know but she did do it for me twice now! Im happy with that!!!!

Wendy

I think the ratio of men who seek out non-Muslim women are little. Generally people tend to stick with what they know or have grown up with.

I do not like the look of a blond man. I dont prefer lighter skin tones, and I love the dark hair and olive skin. But I also grew up in a suburb of Detroit where we had a higher then norm population of arabic people as well as east indian. One of my best friends in highschool was a girl named Abera.

Sam and I disagree on one thing.. He wishes our children marry cousins, or men who are palistinian. I say, let them marry whom they love. Marriage is hard enough already!!! All our girls will have to do is look him in the eye and say, "Daddy... I love him!" and he will melt. I think both men and women should marry someone whom they love, muslim, christian, jewish whatever...

There are some things that make me wonder though. I suppose you could call them stereotypes. I wonder why so many Muslim men seek out non-Muslim women. I also wonder why so many favor blondes. I'm an Arab Muslim woman raised in a traditional Arab Muslim family, although I have not been so traditional in my life. We are told that we are not allowed to marry non-Muslim men, and no Muslim man is allowed to marry a woman who is not a chaste Christian or Jew. Yet, you will find few who hold Muslim men to this rule, but nearly all want to hold Muslim women to the rules they make for them. It makes us wonder why our men want to abandon us, but condemn us if we do as they do. It's something to think about.

We all have perceptions of other cultures that are not quite right. In another topic (moving to jordan) I stated that I have gotten such negative comments from friends about things they have heard about Jordan. All have been untrue and unfounded.

1.My children and I can be sold into the sex trade business. (I just cant even comment on this one...*sigh*)

2. My intended will make me wear a burka. *((fact: while in Jordan for one months time.. we saw 4 women wearing a burka. Half of the women there wore head scarves (mostly loose fitting scarf's non ultra religious) Sam said that the looser were mostly cultural not really religious)

3.If I disobey my husband he will be head me. (I am my own person and for that he is grateful, we have interesting dialogue in which we debate many things. We agree to disagree most of the time as I cannot change his view or he mine. But it is fun!)

4.If I disobey my husband he will make me live there the rest of my life in a room. (Give me unlimited books and cook dinner for me and you have a deal!)

4.Have I seen not without my daughter??? (( yes I have and was horrified..did you see Oprah where that controlling man locked his wife of 16 yrs in their house every day with his children for fear she MIGHT talk to a man? He removed the phone daily and put dressings over the windows so no one could see in or out) DEAR GOD THAT WAS IN THE USA???? We all have extreme cases.)

5. I would be in danger from other governments. ( has anyone seen our President in action? Ok I wont talk politics however the Dixie Chicks Rock!!!)

6. My husband could take other wives. (Not without ever having trouble wanting to pee correctly ever again! LOL seriously... Did you not see 20/20 and the Mormon cult that is in Texas and Utah and still practicing multiple wives? I saw it on TV it has to be true)

On the other hand, I had comments from people who lived in the middle east on the United States. Things I was asked...

1. Can you really buy drugs on every corner?

2. Are there really so many shootings? Am I safe to disagree with someone here without fear of getting shot?

3. Does everyone really own a gun?

4. Do the men in the USA really not support their children? ( thanks to Michigan's finest child support enforcement I now get child support!!!)

5. Do people really have sex with as many partners as on tv ( soaps I think)

6. People in the USA act like Jerry Springer's guests. (Jerry's guests are the minority not the majority!)

7. All Christians follow the pope, believe in Saints, and only pray on Sundays.

We Watch biased new reports on the TV and consider this to be Gods own truth, after all was it not on the television? We see how a gunman shot three people in the street in *fill in other country* yet murders in the United States are so common we don't report them all on the nightly news. At least when I was in Jordan I was able to walk around without fear at night, I cannot say the same thing about where I live now.

I am not saying Jordan is the best place on earth to live. I am an American and love my country. Each place on earth is unique and has it's own lifestyle and people. Don't judge or comment unless you KNOW the facts and can back them up.

My question to each of you is...

1. How much does media play in how we see other people's and countries?

2. What misconceptions did you have about your Significant Others country or customs that were so totally wrong? Where did you hear it?

3. What misconceptions did your Significant Other have about the United States?

Salwa said in another Post... "I think the Media is the one of the reason of this big conflict between East and West.....I hope one day ..people like us" who help 2 world mix together" will help both East and West see the true face of each other and get closer and have better ways to communicate."

What do you think?????????????

You know Salwa...I couldnt have said it any better!!!

I think the Media is the one of the reason of this big conflic between East and West.....

I hope oneday ..people like us" who help 2 world mix together" will help both East and West see the true face of each other and get closer and have better ways to communicate

Wendy

LOl this is funny but I know about it already ..what your friends said to you about life in Jordan is the same things people told Mark" my husband" before he visits me for the first time..he was very surprised when he came here in fact shocked!!!!we was able to walk in the street together at 3 Am with no fears and he said WOW this is amazing ..when he is here we come home each day at 1 Am and he loves it here because it's very safe and i's totally the opposite of what he heard..Sex trade"!!!! wow that was funny to hear !!!

my husband walk in the streets and he knows know problem ...before Mark comes here in the first time he thought the same "about people here hating American" and he was shocked to see how very very nice people are with him every where we go even people we never met ..they talk and laugh and joke with him and always smiles ...Media is very corrupted now !!!!and the funny thing in Egypt people see all American Tv and think all western women are cheap and have sex with any one ..it's CRAZY ..and they think all men cheat on thier wives and they are always drunk and bla bla bla!!!!

I think the Media is the one of the reason of this big conflic between East and West.....

I hope oneday ..people like us" who help 2 world mix together" will help both East and West see the true face of each other and get closer and have better ways to communicate ...

Thank you. There is another woman who's daughter is afraid to go to Jordan and I told her to talk to my daughters... My one daughter didnt want to leave at all. People are shocked that there is mcdonalds, burger king, ect there... and they have so much family activities. Nothing what you see (in the media) or expect to see.

I have had mixed feelings from friends. I had one friend i have known for 17 yrs tell me, they can kill a wife with no problem there. Or my girls and I could be sold into the sex trade... Dear God where do they find this? Another friend asked if he will allow me to come home, like I would be held hostage.

The funny thing is, when I went there, people asked me if America has drug dealers on every corner. If we really shoot people all the time as seen on tv. And the funniest comment was, do people really have sex with anyone they want at any time no matter where they are? Ok too much tv has Americans living soap opera lives in their eyes. Jerry Springer is the minority not the majority!!!

The best thing i can tell my friends is... My family went to Petra for the weekend. While waiting in the car for them to come out with pleanty of cold drinks for the car ride back to the apartment. I had a woman see me in the car. She was dressed from head to toe in the black burka , seeing only out of the netting. She came close to the car and said to me, " American?" I said "Yes". She said ,"Oh I love Americans!" Which totally blew my mind. I have been trained by the media to think if a woman is covered from head to toe and can see only out of the mesh she must be an extreamest... and not like Americans... I am just as guilty as my friends in some ways. That woman changed how I see things and how I am manipulated by the media.

Ok quite off track here.... LOL

Wendy

Wow that sounds like a good experience for them good luck!

Yes My daughters are going with me. They loved it when we went for the extended vacation for march/april. I am going to homeschool them. They are 10 and 12.

Wendy

Are you bringing your kids with you to Jordan?

I will need clothes mostly. I would also like my mom to send me my medications but not sure if they can be mailed to me? I think the airlines allow only 40 lb bags and two at that... I wanted to bring extra but dont think i can. I am a bbw so the stores there seem to have mostly smaller sizes, i would need extra clothes sent to me.

We are not planning a reception because to be honest, his family isnt too thrilled with him marrying me. I am his second marrige and the first one was to a woman who was from malta. It didnt go well at all. So it will be Samer, my two girls , and his youngest brother...

Samer said it would take 5 days. And no we are not doing a direct file as my lawyer said with how backed up it is, he can handle it all from here. I said fine I dont have to fudge with anything. I have a statement saying I am disease free from my doctor.

He got a job working on road construction in Aqaba. So I think we will be there. It is alot hotter then Amman was tho which isnt too good for a michigan girl..lol bring on the snow~!!!

Wendy

what exactly are u looking to bring into jordan? you can bring medicine with you, i did, and a lot of it....i think DCF is the way to go with amman....i did it and lived in jordan myself for one year....maybe you could rent a storage and keep all of your belongings there until u and samer can come home...i cant imagine why you would want to bring anything other than clothes, shoes, etc there....furniture and stuff like that would be a headache and a lot of money....

be prepared that marrying in jordan takes 4-6 days....know that u will need a lot of copies and translations. an affadavit to marry signed by you at the embassy (that needs to be translated too) a blood test (HIV_ thru a local government clinic...and i think it ended up costing us about 250$ for everything...i recommend planning a reception at a hall...they are very cheap. and the embassy really likes to see that u had one (or at least i believe so)\

good luck with everything, i believe that the fact i lived in jordan with sofyan the entire processing time is really what got us a straight, same day approval...inshallah things go smoothly for you too...if u have any questions, feel free...

kelly

I am filing here in the usa filling out the papers before I leave I need...

I do not make enough to sponsor him, so my best friend said she would do it....

He is from Sweila?spelling??? In Amman. We will be moving to Aqaba.

Thank you Jackie.

Wendy

You are going to move to Jordan? Will you file for DCF and have a sponser here? I would have done it that way but because I was the sponser, I had to keep my job here to fulfil the affadavit of support papers. So we married in Jordan and I filed in the states using the K3. Good thing we did K3 cuz the I130 took 17 months to approve!

Interviews now are running 9 months to a year away. I hope for your sake that Amman starts to get quicker on those interviews!

Good luck and keep in touch with us here in case you have more questions. What part of Jordan will you be in? My husband is from Alhusn.

Jackie

After deciding to take the plunge and marry now instead of waiting for him to come here (mostly because of our wonderful President and his irratic ways) I am getting ready to move to Jordan for a year till we all can come back as a family.

I put my house up for sale and am getting a mortgage for it. there is an apraisal i am waiting for and then will get my tickets.. i put my notice in for work... giving three weeks notice. The movers come on July 1st. I see avail space for my girls and me on the flight on July 4th... I just want this all to go smoothly.

once in jordan, we wish to marry quickly.

What can i bring into jordan for long term?

What is the best way to send the rest of my stuff I would need? Can my mom send my medications there for me? How long does the stuff take to get there.

Anything else i should know????

Wendy

You two look so wonderful together!!!

I wish you two well. It is very confusing for me too all the different visas. Goodluck

Thank you Kelly!

i did live in jordan for nine months and married my husband sofyan .....I will say I honestly believe it is the quickest and most rewarding way....you wont have any immigration troubles once he recieves his visa and u move back to the USA....and also...there are sooo many perks of living abroad for a year or less....our process start to finish took 9 months, and the nine months flew...im only 21 and left alot behind, but it was sooo worth it in the end, and now im crying to go back, and its only been 2 months since we left...if you have the opprotunity to do it...i encourage you....not to mention, it is not easy having a painless process on a fiance visa thru a arab country especially one that is 95% muslim..(jordan) if u have any questions on the process feel free to ask me....also, PM me if u would like...best of luck..

Kelly and Sofyan

THank you for the response and the well wishes . I actually grew up in Livonia and lived there till i was 28ish... Where are you living now?

I am highly confused about the different visas to be honest. I Have read on them till I am blue in the face, and still... I guess I have to go to the lawyer and sit with him and say ok what do you suggest? He hasnt done any from Jordan yet, but all he has processed have not been denied. He said it would take about 6-8 months from start to finish but he has no control over all that.... So if anyone has been thru it ...

We just found out Samer will be working now in Aqaba with making the new roads into Saudi Arabia. He said it is pretty western there, so he would be able to live with us (yes as long as we were married). I keep telling the girls it isnt forever and it is a good experience for them, they can learn arabic and so much history. I told them they could home school, either online or just like here with books on our own. I know it wont be forever and we do miss him so much.

I wish a fairy could come and say ok this is how you need to do it. If it was up to him, we would be there already and married!

Wendy

quote name='iceyspots' date='May 28 2006, 06:41 PM' post='221071']

Hi. Mabrouk for your engagement. Amman is a pretty busy consulate right now, they're processing visas for Iraq, Palestine and jordan all at the same time, so no matter which path you choose, there's going to be a big wait. Also I hear that it's easier to get a marriage based visa than a K-1 fiance visa... but that is just hearsay. I hope everything works out well for you and it's good to have another from the michigan-ish area

I met Samer late last year. After a few months of chatting he invited my girls and I to come there and stay with him for a month. We had a great time, fell in love and just now are starting the whole process. We talk to each other all the time and online rarely now.

After reading all I have, I see most timelines for a fiance visa is about 6-9 months. With the marriage visa thing being longer. He wants us to move there while everything is processing, and wants to get married. I said it would null and void the whole process as the marriage will have already taken place. He said, his first marriage was never filed with the embassys. (although he had to go to court to get a divorce, he was married in Yemen) He wants two weddings, one where his family can attend and one here. I don't want to mess anything up what so ever. Which is the best way to go in your opinion?

Thanks,

Wendy