Mrs.J06

Very good summary. Unfortunately, the fact that our health care system is far from the best in the world will fall on deaf ears in this great country of ours. Despite the overwhelming evidence to the contrary, too many Americans have allowed themselves to be manipulated into believing that only the absence of government will produce the best result. It's almost like a religion.

LOL...No, those of us that have dealt with the Government all our adult lives have come to our own conclusions!

The fact of the matter is that there is ample evidence both within the US as well as in other comparable countries that government works better than private for profit enterprise in creating effective and efficient ehalth care systems. Again, Medicare outranks private insurance in service, coverage and cost. The health care systems of comparable countries outrank the US system in effectiveness, efficiency and overall health outcomes. The only item where we rank way on top is cost. Nothing to be proud of.

The evidence that government does a better job of organizing health care is on the table. Your "conclusions" are based on ideology rather than reality.

I'm not taking the bait on this because I know that you can produce stats that back you up and I'm 100% I can find stats that back my contentions up.

Please do, I'd love to see that.

nothing yet?

If she's older than 15 she has some serious issues.

Get out of the marriage while you can, and let her worry about immigration issues.

Of course she can not force you to go with her - how could she? I think it's time you need to put your foot down.

Do you have a crawl space?

That, a shovel, and a couple bags of lime should take care of things.

What's with the lime corpses today? Didn't I just read this in another thread?

I think it's time for your husband to sit down with mother and have a word or two. He needs to make clear that her behaviour is not acceptable and that it's making life hard for him. Maybe she will change for his sake, if not for yours?

While I understand that you freak at the thought of her calling USCIS and telling them stories, I think you really shouldn't worry too much about that.

Congratulations!

We had a very nice experience with the Bloomington, MN office, too!

For any VJer's coming to Wisconsin...I had no problems getting my social security number..got it already but the drivers license is another story. They acutally make you do the written test and once you pass that then you have to make an appointment to have a driving test. Too funny, been driving for 25 years! They told me the only country that can walk in and just trade-in their drivers license is Germany. What the....you would at least think it would be country where the first language was english. Ok I vented! LOL I just thought it was odd. Oh well, small price to pay for being with my sweetie. I'll have to go do that next week.

So this leads me to wonder what the other states have for "rules" on changing you license. Thought it would be interesting to find out...anyone else have to do it all over again??

I "traded in" my German license, but was told they (WI) would honor the Canadian licenses, too. Why don't you check another DMV?

Good point, I will check with another office. THANKS

Good luck! Each DMV seems to follow different rules here... I went to Menomonie (Dunn County) and that's where the officer told me about the Canadian licenses

Oh my goodness!! I'm so glad you posted this!! I've been wondering about my DL for a bit now! I'm moving down to WI in May of next year (hopefully!) so I'm really glad to see someone else has gone through it!!! Let's be honest how many people move to Wisconsin? I love it there though!

anyways! Thanks for sharing your advice!

Good timing - by May it will be beautiful again. I love the spring and summer here, winter is... well... a little too long for my taste!

I think judging someone based on looks is equally as bad as judging someone based upon income.

If that was directed at me, I dont judge anyone based on looks. I dont think large or overwight woman are bad or less of human beings or anything negative like that (though I do think that of woman who date only guys with money), Im simply stating that so far, I have been unable to feel attracted to large /overweight woman. And that severely limits a man;s option in this country since 70% of the poplation(especially in 30's range) is overwight There's no judging, I only said Im not attracted to overwight woman.

Are you applying the same standard to yourself? I mean, are you in shape, attractive and take care of yourself? Do you care how much a woman you would be willing to marry can possibly earn in the US?

For any VJer's coming to Wisconsin...I had no problems getting my social security number..got it already but the drivers license is another story. They acutally make you do the written test and once you pass that then you have to make an appointment to have a driving test. Too funny, been driving for 25 years! They told me the only country that can walk in and just trade-in their drivers license is Germany. What the....you would at least think it would be country where the first language was english. Ok I vented! LOL I just thought it was odd. Oh well, small price to pay for being with my sweetie. I'll have to go do that next week.

So this leads me to wonder what the other states have for "rules" on changing you license. Thought it would be interesting to find out...anyone else have to do it all over again??

I "traded in" my German license, but was told they (WI) would honor the Canadian licenses, too. Why don't you check another DMV?

Time and a positive attitude!

I find the whole concept of having to pay for incoming text message odd.

And AT&T customer service sucked for us.

So I am having mixed feeling about American appliances, hopefully I will find the vaccum of my dreams when I get there

You can get European brands like Miele and Bosch here too

They are just a tiny bit pricey!

We have a Miele dishwasher which is super quiet and I love it.

On the other hand, our Whirlpool washer and dryer set isn't too bad either, no complaints.

I just hate the toploaders, but hubby got rid of those a long time before we even met.

The design of the American appliances is definitely nicer than the German ones are!

We put 80% of our incomes into a joint checking account which we use to pay bills, house payments, groceries and as vacation money. What's left over goes into our joint savings.

20% go into our "personal" accounts and can be used for whatever.

If we know we have bigger expenses coming up we put 100% in the joint account.

Has worked very well so far, but we discussed this a long time before I came here.

While I was waiting for work permit and GreenCard I lived off my husband's income for everyday stuff and my savings for luxuries I thought I had to have. We both knew I would be out of income for a while but neither one of us had any issues with that.

I fail to see what the Chinese have to gain from this?

They should just loosen up on the speed limit a little bit - if you could fly down the interstate at 120 m/h nobody would want to text any more.

Financial issues aside - I personally don't believe it's God's will for kids to be nannies to their siblings, they are meant to have a childhood and be carefree for a while. Not being dragged in front of a TV camera is part of having a childhood.

But then - I'm an agnostic without kids, what do I know???

If I remember correctly, when signing for our mortgage there were some questions in the forms about bankrupcy and open debt during the last 10 years, no matter where they incurred. I also had to give my last full address in Germany, so I guess if they wanted to, they could have found out about old debt.

Either way, it's not a good start to a new life. I hope our fiance comes to his senses.... I would think that repaying out of country debt gets quite expensive, with banking fees etc.

Good luck!

Did not affect my name, but place of residence.

On my (German) passport it's spelled with Umlaut, I put it in all the forms with the Umlaut. If I remember correctly on the official documents from the consulate it was spelled "ae" or just with "a".

Hugs from me too, Emma. I'm not a Brit and not in Seattle, but I feel for you.

Working full time kills every chance to talk to people back home during the week, and emailing is just not the same. My husband is also not the social type, he has no circle of friends that I could have "inherited", I get lonely too.

I finally have a small group of people I can do things with now (after three years). Came across them by chance doing grocery shopping. But it's nothing like in my old life back home.

I agree with others, try meetup.com and expat meetups. I met a very nice girl doing community education (accupressure class) and we end up going placed together, too. I'm still trying to meet new people, too, but sometimes it's just too much of an efford and I give up in between. Also, winters here are so cold that social life just seems to come to a standstill during those months.

Hang in there, give it some time!

My family, my lifestyle, my identity......I totally underestimated how much I would miss all three.

Yes! The first two I knew would happen, and was a BIT better prepared for. The third, I was overwhelmed with. Also, I had to give up my dog and my cat (I had recently lost another dog and cat to medical problems), and they'd been my constant companions for 10 years. They are with my parents now, whom they've known their whole lives, but I have incredible guilt and sadness about abandoning them. And I get really lonely here, and that is when I miss them the most.

How do I deal with it?! I cry! Only sometimes. But it does help. I try to talk to family and friends on the phone weekly or at least monthly with some. Time zones are a pain, aren't they? At first, I avoided asking about the animals, but after a few good cries with my dad on the phone, I can ask about them, listen to him tell me stories and it is actually comforting to me, though it still hurts.

Agree 100% except for the dog...

All these people saying to not generalize American women, but in actuality until you have been a 40 -50 year old male in the USA, you don't have a clue.

Though I don't agree with the OP's point a view, this board is highly populated with men that frankly gave up on American women for many reasons, main reason though is American culture is just to damn materialistic, everyone is graded by their job and income.

For the men that are in this age range and looking to have children, the chances are slim to none in he USA just because, here being close in age is the norm and most women in their 40's are not looking to have a child.

Many other cultures age is not so important, though 40 to 19 is a stretch, my SO is 9 years my younger and I am 46.

I don't think over weight really comes into play, but physically attractiveness to your SO is one of many atributes of a successful marriage, and most successful marriages you will commonly hear the person refer to their SO as the most beautiful person in world. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

Again, I do not entirely agree with OP but discussion of why men in the 40's go looking for foreign brides is a legit discussion topic.

You think Americans are materialistic and are going to marry a Chinese woman? That indeed is funny!

Obviously no concept of China economics, so quick lesson for you.

America: Go deep in debt to have house, car, clothes to keep up with Jones, always desire more.

China: Desire all those things, but only buy if you have the cash, be happy with what you have.

Oh sorry, of course I have no clue, I'm just there about 3-4 times a year and work with a bunch of Chinese colleagues every day, but anyway: How about buying gifts and do anything and everything to be "westernized" only for the purpose of " impressing your friends"? My German colleagues living in China get dates in proportion to their income and their ability to pay for expensive drinks in expensive establishments, and during meetups the girlfriend/wives brag about how much their longnoses make.

I agree the Chinese haven't embraced the concept of living on borrow money (yet), but social status and even more so MONEY certainly drives their every decision in life! My colleague says "money is my religion". If you think otherwise you're in for a surprise.

Nothing to worry about. If you'd been on the mortgage they would have had to increase the percentage rate you're paying on the loan due to your lack of credit history. Lots of PR's are not on the mortgage but are on the deed. You're getting a better deal this way.

Not necessarily. We were in the same situation when I had been in the country for about 6 months. Rates didn't change after we put our foot down on insisting to have me on the mortgage as well. Most mortgage companies don't have a clue about how to handle this - it's all open to discussion.

All these people saying to not generalize American women, but in actuality until you have been a 40 -50 year old male in the USA, you don't have a clue.

Though I don't agree with the OP's point a view, this board is highly populated with men that frankly gave up on American women for many reasons, main reason though is American culture is just to damn materialistic, everyone is graded by their job and income.

For the men that are in this age range and looking to have children, the chances are slim to none in he USA just because, here being close in age is the norm and most women in their 40's are not looking to have a child.

Many other cultures age is not so important, though 40 to 19 is a stretch, my SO is 9 years my younger and I am 46.

I don't think over weight really comes into play, but physically attractiveness to your SO is one of many atributes of a successful marriage, and most successful marriages you will commonly hear the person refer to their SO as the most beautiful person in world. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

Again, I do not entirely agree with OP but discussion of why men in the 40's go looking for foreign brides is a legit discussion topic.

You think Americans are materialistic and are going to marry a Chinese woman? That indeed is funny!

USA! USA! USA! USA! oh wait, sh-t.

Even China has better roads than us.

Well, you know Americans don't really like trains. The Chinaman has no choice because he is too poor to own a car.

And the train will derail and crash killing thousands of people due to poor engineering. Go China. Maybe they can paint it with some of the lead paint they use on their kids toys?

It probably will... after all, it's "made in China."

I'm sure they have copied enough engineering from Japan, France and Germany to make it halfway safe at least.

I was in the same boat last year (filed July 08, got approved March 09) everybody was approved around me - pretty bad feeling!

However, after 7 months waiting I had an infopass appointment that was a complete waste of time, a very rude officer told me to shut up and wait another year before coming back to complain, also to expect an interview for sure "since all these applicants are interviewed" (yeah right).

I then called the service line and a very nice lady put in a service request. Two days later I had the approval email and other week later the card was in the mail. But you have to be past the posted processing time for them to do anything!

Good Luck!

Haven't heard anything negative, either, lots of jokes about stereotypes of course, but from people who know they are just that - stereotypes.

My sister calls my husband her "yankie brother", and people who have not travelled to the US yet are just really curious and ask tons of questions all the time. However, everybody in my family and almost all of my friends had already been here for visits before I moved, so it's not such a big deal for them.

We didn't feel like joking while in the middle of the process, but we do now.

Some time ago we had a little argument about how to file stuff, what to keep and what not etc. in our "office" room. So all of a sudden my husband starts digging in a pile of paper like a terrier and answered my question as to what he was looking for by "I can't find your #$%*&@# return label any more"!