super sad now

Hey Super Sad, I'm sorry to hear this has happened to you. I know it hurts pretty bad, giving up your world for a man you trusted and believed in, only for him to let you down, going home is hard. But just think to your self, you gave it a go, and you decided it wasn't right for you. Just keep telling yourself, that its your decision not to stay.

You have a few weeks left before you HAVE to leave, so why not have some fun, book your ticket home now, and if you have some spare money, go on a little trip somewhere, something fun, for you, a good memory before leaving. Perhaps you can get a flight to Hawaii and then from there... back to China. Or anywhere you have always wanted to visit in the USA. I wish you well, and I'm so sorry things didn't work out.

Thank you for your encourage words :-). I will make the decision.

He is a stupid loser.You deserve better!

Thank you :-)

Whether it will work or not... You should have to show this... The real problem is he doesnt even understand what he really did.. He should have to know this.. He might realise and fell guilty and at least pay for your tickets

:-) have no high expect ion to him.

Don't bother marrying him!

He already showed a lot of signs of cheating or at least non-interested of you.

Don't waste your money supporting him.

Pack your things, and go back.

en ,thank you !

I hope you will do what best for you... But Before leaving the country just show him this forum topic and comments of so many people here about him so he will realize what he really did to you.. I think he might not have any idea how horribly he treated you.. Yous should show him this forum before leaving he should know how terrible person he is

Thank you :-) .LOL, DO YOU THINK THAT WILL WORK? Since he decide to do cheating, he already give up the good character. This does not bother him .

Wait out your remaining three weeks until you have to go back.

You may meet another nice American while you are down here, who will treat you right.

Good luck, and believe me when I say you are better off without this loser!

LOL , thank you :-)

Chinese women (be it Mainland China, Hong Kong ,Taiwan or Singapore) tend to baby their husband and mother them . they have this "Take care of them" or "cook for them" mentality. It is entrenched in our culture and familial relationships. Unfortunately , not every man are bothered by the oedipus complex.

Your relationship is doomed. If you wish to stay, you can.

:-)

I will pay for your ticket back home if you can get my wife to learn massage and all that stuff.... ha ha my wife has learned how to use my credit card pretty well, and netflix. It sucks you are in the situation you are in, I can't imagine someone wouldn't pay for a ticket if the relationship didn't work. That is just odd. Just move forward, in general your life will continue to get better so just imagine the next guy will only be better.

Thanks for your words.

Just feel he is childish and cold.

I will move on.

let me tell you something sweetie.

you eventually received k-1 visa then entered U.S. for marriage. you both were waiting so long time for it.

but now he wants you to go back your home.

even if you marry him, it isn't that easy. he wouldn't care of your all visa, money, and food anything.

he is not your man. you are not his one love too. sadly..

it isn't that easy I hopefully you go back to your country again. then live there .... even if you marry him you still have to file green card. also after 2 years of green card you should get 10 years GC too. whenever you have to do it you should proof your both relationships... from all material stuff.

I don't think it is easy also. why would you do that? you are the most important girl in this world. you can't just be sad and devastated because of one guy who doesn't respect his fiancée.

One of my friend. ( not anymore..) she was pregnant and hers husband went back U.S. alone.

but eventually she came to the U.S. with tourist visa then she married him even if he was cheating on her while she was pregnant.

everything was alright. we couldn't just blame what she chose. however, things were getting worst than before.

he didn't file green card for her so she was overstayed in U.S. for 2 months but yeah eventually she filed it and received gc. but before that she was pregnancy woman. but He never ever helped her to get meal.. buy food anything. so she lived hers life horrible. the only thing she could do is using internet website so everyone was helping her until hers baby born... also, when baby was born she was about to die. because of too many blood I guess. while I was sleeping hers friend asked me to reach hers parents yup. hers husband wasn't there while she was having HIS baby.

idk what's going on right now. but I bet she and baby are happy now. but it was sooo miserable at the first time.

Hopefully you won't choose your life in a hell. you don't deserve it.

Thanks for letting me know your friend's story. It is sad. That is an example to me. I do not want to put myself into disaster.

I am really sorry that happened to you. I was in a relationship with a woman in China, and we broke up before she came to the US. It is very difficult to have a long distance relationship and then suddenly be together. I knew I had to make up my mind before she left her job and I think this guy should have made up his mind one way or another before you committed like that. You seem like a very nice woman and I am so sorry this happened to you.

People make mistakes and I hope you can find your way again.

Thank you :-). I wish you can make a clear decision and not put her into similar situation like mine.

A woman like you who left everything at home is the kind of woman who is very hard to find. You did your part, you try to do things right. Do not be sad you will find someone much much better for you. Sooner or later he will regret it.

Thank you :-)

I never approved of giving relationship advice, or marital advice in that matter. But I will tell you what I tell my daughter. You are the first and foremost important person in this world, and you should be treated accordingly. You are not second best, but you first class and you deserve to be treated as such. Never settle in life because you do not think you will find better, or you do not think there will be another, or you think this all you will get or this is what you deserve. You will end up living a life of 'what if's' and sadness and longing for 'what would have been's'. God gave you one life and you deserve to live it to the fullest. You deserve to have that one man who will treat you like the princess you are. Who will give you back all the love that you give him. Who will be there in all the happy times and the sad times, who will hold your hand through it all. A man who will come home to only you. Love yourself first, never settle, and live your life to the fullest. Where one door closes, one door will always open. You deserve to be happy. You deserve to live your life to the fullest. So do what you must to do that.

Thanks for your words. I will .

Hi,

I am really sorry about your situation and feel really frustrated that he didn't care you were changing your whole life to come to the US and start over. Nobody changes plans just because a library card, so I believe he somehow didn't want this relationship anymore and has been a coward to tell you before your big move. Keep in mind that y'all just started the ''real life'' together and by now y'all should be living the best of it: When you count the seconds to have your husband back home, when he supports you, make you feel welcome and comfortable and etc. You're not having any of this by now so can you picture your future? Sorry, but I don't see it getting any better. I know it's hard to give up on somebody you love (Even though he is showing you he doesn't deserve your love), going back home can be hurtful because we somehow feel we failed, there will be questions from friends, family, coworkers and etc. But the sooner the best and for sure you don't deserve living like because these situations generally end up with one letting him/herself go and that would be you! It might sound a little revenge but if I were you I would just pack my stuffs and leave without even talking to him just to prove you don't need his *** for anything and you do great by your own!!

Good luck!!

You are right. I should not and will never to expect anything from a man who acts like this

Sounds like you dodged the bullet.

LOL, right! found it before turning into disaster!

Hey, your story really touched me. I do feel sorry for your situation. This should of never happened. I know it's all about keeping your dignity now, but as for me this moron should buy you a return ticket. That's your right to demand at least the ticket back.

remember.. what goes around, comes around.

一刀两断

en, I will. I totally disappointed on him.

You should go home and rebuild your life a man/boy like this doesnt deserve true happiness. If he cant be honest with himself or you the best thing is to leave if you stay and try it could just end up getting worst but I would report him so he cant do this again in the future.

You are right. Thanks for your words!

Just show him the email I got. he said that is someone who pour dirty water on him. then I asked him :" could I ask who is the sender?"

He asked me not doing that. if I did that, the sender could call cops to get me to police station because I harass the sender.

Is it radiculous?

I'm sad for you and sympathetic. But you cannot force him to marry you, and if you do not marry within 90 days you will be out of status.

I was in an abusive marriage and made a huge number of sacrifices, and I kept believing that if I just tried hard enough eventually she'd "have" to appreciate me. But she didn't.

It's difficult, but all you can do is pick up the pieces of your life The sooner you get past this emotionally, the better off you will be. I know it's not easy. It took me years to do it, but eventually I did. You will too.

sorry for your suffering. En, I will not force him to marry with me. i do not think he could change. I will be ok. Once I decide to give up, that is a really giving up.

Thanks for your encouraging words. hug for you!

This may all be for the best. It's probably good that he showed he true colors early because maybe if you did get married he would try to use the green card to control you. Any man who makes such rash decisions over something as simple as a library card isn't someone you want to commit your life to anyway. I'm sorry that it turned out like this. I wish you all the best.

en, you are right. I come here not for the green card. 2years ago, i asked him to move to china.He gave me tons of excuses for not going. two years later i had to came here by K1 visa.

anyway, i will choose the good way for both of us.

thank you a lot.

Any other man would be so lucky to have a woman like you. You have tried so hard, but it takes two people trying hard to make a marriage work.

You have to do what you have to do, and I think you know what is best for your safety and well-being.

Move on, I have a personal opinion, that he does not deserve a woman like you.

Do what is best for you.

Thanks for your comments and advice. I will move on.

My advice. Talk to him. Communicate, and remember relationships are all about sacrifices. Keep in mind, he's probably made many for you too, which you may not have realized. Good luck.

thank you, I will think about it if he acts like an adult.

So many men would be so lucky to have a woman that treats her man like you do him. He "would" be lucky to have you.

At this point in time, you need to do what is best for you, and your well-being, and safety.

Do the right thing, for your future happiness, and good luck, he does no

thank you for your advice. I will do the right thing.

I asked him to move to china, but he said at his age it is not easy to find a job, could not endure long time flight, could not see his kids often. Then I had to use the K1 to come here.

You deserve so much more than this wishy washy guy. I wish you the very best !

thank you for your words :-)

I will move on before this mess turn me into nuts.

this person who message u must be in some close contact with him in order to know who u are and to get ur personal info to mail u. I guess he's definately cheating... In a relationship close to marriage someone shouldnt be arguing over a simple library card and also shun phone calls and text messages from u. I think its best for u to try and forget about the ur choices with him and move on, it will be the best thing for you. You are lucky enough to not get married and then having to file for divorce which will be added emotional destress. Go home, start a new. Its never too late. Good Luck. DO NOT TRY TO FORCE OR CONVINCE HIM TO STAY WITH YOU BCUZ YOU LOVE HIM. IT WILL NOT WORK.

en ,you are right. I will not convince hime to stay with me anymore. I gave him the chance before. Not anymore I guess.

Ni Hao

I am very sorry to hear your situation, but you need to make plans. You entered on May 21 which means your time will expire on August 21. If you want to ever want to legally come back again to the USA you need to not have an overstay on your record. I would shop now for the cheapest flights back to China and just go.

Your fiancée is a bad person. He is an immature boy to have strung you along this long if he did not know he wanted to marry you. Drop him like a hot rock. Very sorry to hear your story, but there are many fish in the sea. Next time I hope you find a prince and not a selfish pig.

Thanks for your message. You are right. I am calm now and plan it to go home as soon as possible. I do not want to overstay here to disobey the rule .:-)

Send an email to your former boss. Maybe you can still have your old job back. It hasn't been that long since you left China. Good luck!

I might try this. :-)

thank you!

Sorry about your troubles, always sad to hear about jerks like that. Don't bother with him any longer....he doesn't seem worth it and it looking to cause artificial fights between you to create this mess while masking what it really going on.

I agree with you. I do not understand why he get mad easily at very tiny stuff.

Don't think about the past, think about how he is treating you now. Do you think you deserve better?

Yes, I think I deserve much better than him.

Just felt very hurt. I quitted a very good job at home and came here, he treated me like this. feel he is so no responsibility

Hi,

Sorry about your situation.

If he does not marry you, then you must leave the U.S. before your 90 days are up. As a K-1, marriage to him and filing for AOS is the only way for you to stay legally.

He's cheating on you. Why marry a cheater? You will find a better partner who respect you.

Best of luck

en. thank you.

sometime I feel very pity for him. At his age, he should not act like this way. maybe nothing about age.

i even worry about that he might go crazy if he keep living this way.

once i thought like that. I feel sore for him