Way too many people assume that just because someone is here without papers, they work and hide all their income -- that just isn't the case. It is easy to get an ITIN number and file taxes just like the rest of us do. The last data I could find was for 2006 when 1.4 million folks filed using ITIN numbers -- it's a far cry from everyone, but not zero like everyone seems to think.
We live in Austin TX, and every tax preparer service has big signs saying they will get an ITIN number for you if you don't have one, and of course will also file your taxes for you with the ITIN number.
I would certainly get an official opinion from USCIS whether or not his income qualifies -- he is here without papers, but is paying his taxes, and presumably his job will continue into the future.
DO NOT under any circumstances leave. Your husband can not leave until you are ready for interview. Him leaving he automatically will get a lifetime ban so you have to stay put. File the I-130 and get that ball rollin and you will need to file the I-1601. Let me request your thread here be moved over to the waivers forum so you can get the kind of audience to better help you on your way.
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