NigerLA

June 30, 2011

Whoa!!!

I occasionally come to VJ to read the discussions from this section and happened to stumble on this very interesting topic. I've read through most of the pages and responses and I've been very moved by the comments.

I am a Nigerian man happily married to an American woman for about five years now. Let me start, by apologizing to all the women who've been hurt by the actions of African men in general. My wife and I did not meet over the internet like a lot of people here and I have no idea how that process works. I've lived in the U.S.A for over 14 years; came here as an International Student and met my wife seven years ago at our church in NYC. The truth is no marriage is easy, and we've had our ups and downs along the way, but I LOVE my wife and know that I married the one woman in the world who was meant for me.

I'll say this, I've been very hesitant to say this but I feel like I must "BE SKEPTICAL ABOUT DATING AFRICAN MEN ONLINE". I am African and I can say emphatically, that 90% of these relationships will not end well. My wife and I knew a lady from our church who was dating (online) this particular guy online and she mentioned his name to me and I asked a friend about him. The first words out of my friends mouth, were tell her to run. I did not know how to tell her that without offending her and turned to prayer (asking God to give her wisdom in the relationship). She actually made the trip to visit him in Nigeria and he bled her dry. She ended up paying for every single thing because he always had one excuse or another, but she came back and realized that the relationship will not work. Please women, let that be your first sign that something's wrong with these men. I was in Nigeria last year and I had to an internet cafe because the printer at home was not working. I was stunned seeing several men chatting with American women and laughing and talking about the (JACKPOT) they've hit. If they are constantly in the internet cafe that means they are sometimes juggling multiple internet relationships to see which one comes through. If your potential Boy friend is constantly surrounded by women, that's a problem.

I'll say this, "yes" I've had a privileged life and I'm grateful for everything God has done for me and I realize not too many Nigerians are as fortunate. My wife has counselled many of our friends who are enamored by Nigerian men and have been heart broken. I am not saying that there are no good men in Nigeria, but it requires a lot of due diligence on your part before venturing into any relationship. Do you know his parents, do you know extended family members, have you met his friends, what does he or she do for a living, ask other Nigerians (Nigeria is a big country, but everyone knows everyone)? Ask for your family's thoughts before you embark on such a journey.

My wife and I have spent the last five years predominantly in the East Coast and most of our friends (Nigerian men are still happily married to American women). I recently did a quick survey of these relationships and notcied the following common threads. The men and their wives tend to be very active in their respective churches and are well educated (MBA, Dr or Attorneys). I also fall into this particular bucket (MBA and my wife is an attorney). I am not saying this is a recipe for a successful marriage, no by no means. Your Christianity comes into play when your relationship is under strain and you can both fall on your knees to pray about it. The first year of marriage was very difficult for us, we were in counseling all the time. We were laughing this week about how far we've come and especially now that were parent's. Education helps because it allows the conversation about very difficult topics to be amicable and encourages communication. My wife access to all our bank accounts, phone records, email accounts and every other information she needs. I do not hide anything from her, she's the first person I go to about an problems. I am not a party animal, I am happiest when I am home with our son and my wife. I always come straight home from work, if I need to stay behind to socialize for work functions, I tell in advance and the only time we are seperated is when I have to travel for business trips. Let me add this, I 90% of the cleaning at home, my wife has not worked in a year and we are still happy and financially stable. I thank God for all the success I've had, and I am very grateful for the support I've had from my wife. An African Proverb states (Behind every successful man is his wife :thumbs: ). Let me add that my wife is closer to my family than I am when I think about it. My aunts who I never call, always call her and I type this email my father is visiting from Nigeria and she's been killing him with her Cajun cooking .

To all you going through difficult times, we'll pray for you that the Lord will heal your marriages and grant you the grace to to forgive your spouse. For those of you relationships, please pray and be very observant if you notice anything funny confront the man and if you don't get a good enough answer (PLEASE WALK AWAY). Thank you ladies for being very honest and forthcoming.

Nigerla

Americangirl10 · September 11, 2010

I am a Nigerian man, married to an American. My wife and I have been married for over four years and she will most likely say that I do about 60% of the chores in our home. Having gone to boarding school in Nigeria, I just like to get things done.

My wife and I share cooking and cleaning roles quite well; I do it all, cleaning the bathrooms, doing the laundry and dishes. I do not complain, because I believe chores like everything else in a married needs to shared.

My wife is an attorney, and since we are expecting our first child in a few weeks, i've tried to make her life a little easier by doing all the chores. I believe both spouses should chip in to share house chores.

July 24, 2009

Congratulations!!! the journey is almost over. Where are the remaining oath letters? come up USCIS.

July 6, 2009

congratulations so2008

July 2, 2009

Hi Guys,

I can now say with certainty that the journey is over. Thank you all for your support, this forum provided great comfort to me.

The ceremony today in NYC was very efficiently run, I was very impressed with the efficiency. The ceremony was at 500 Pearl Street, directly opposite 26 Federal Plaza. When the ceremony ended we gave the USCIS employees a standing ovation (The oath ceremony was very well done). The Federal Judge gave quite a moving speech about his father who was also an immigrant from France.

148 people from 49 different countries.

It feels great, I applied for an expedited passport at the post office because they said it takes six to eight weeks and I will be out of the country in August.

Thanks for updating our status, and wishing the best to everyone remaining. DECEMBER FILERS ARE THE BEST!!!!

June 23, 2009

Congratulations DoxATL I am really happy for you.

June 23, 2009

Congratulations edandying we have our oath ceremony on the same day

June 23, 2009

My citizenship is due and I have got my application and documents ready to go but I am still waiting for my unconditional PR and it seems like their's a delay . so guys do u know if it will be ok to send in a copy of my expired conditional resident card and a copy of the i-751 approval notice. would appreciate it

Yes it should suffice, I did the same thing. I sent my application in before receiving the permanent green card and had no problems. Include the approval notice and a copy of your green card.

All the best.

June 19, 2009

Congratulations always win.

June 17, 2009

Has your mother in-law travelled outside the country before and returned without overstaying her visa? If she has travelled outside the country prior to this visit, she has a good chance of getting a visa.

Most Western embassies are quite biased towards Nigerians who have never travelled outside the country and hence the diffiuclty in obtaining a visa.

All the best with your efforts.

June 12, 2009

Updating with my oath date, July 2nd. Independence day oath, there is nothing more special. I hope we all get oath letters soon.

Name..............SentDate....NOA1.......Biodate....Interview...Oath.... Center..LocalOffice.....CheckCashed

shadow_dog........12/01/08....12/05/08...12/31/08...04/13/09....05/20/09...NBC....Chicago.........??/??/??

samsbs............12/01/08....12/23/08...01/14/09...03/20/09....05/05/09...CSC....San_Francisco...12/24/08

broma25...........12/01/08....12/15/08...01/03/09...04/10/09....04/24/09...VSC....Philadelphia....12/12/08

farah2005.........12/01/08....12/12/08...04/13/09. .06/19/09....xx/xx/xx...TSC....oakland park,FL..12/09/08

so2008............12/02/08....12/16/08...01/03/09...xx/xx/xx....xx/xx/xx...TSC....Tampa...........12/15/08

maimai............12/02/08....12/08/08...12/31/08...03/18/09....04/24/09...CSC....Phoenix.........12/12/08

sheepnfish........12/03/08....12/29/08...02/12/09...04/09/09....xx/xx/xx...VSC....St_Albans.......????????

maz...............12/03/08....12/13/08...12/30/08...04/09/09....04/21/09...NBC....Chicago.........12/11/08

Cargo.............12/06/08....12/22/08...01/20/09...04/06/09....05/21/09...CSC....San_Jose........12/23/08

Poppinslp.........12/10/08....12/22/08...01/23/09...04/06/09....04/29/09...TSC....Fort Lauderdale.12/23/08

blessings2us......12/10/08....12/22/08...01/21/09...03/12/09....03/16/09...NBC....Portland........12/22/08

Stella08..........12/10/08....12/19/08...01/13/09...03/17/09....04/24/09...NBC....Washington,DC...12/22/08

ChinaBabe.........12/12/08....12/23/08...01/14/09...04/27/09....04/30/09...TSC....Atlanta,GA......12/24/08

Coquette..........12/12/08....12/30/09...01/30/09...04/28/09....xx/xx/xx...VSC....Norfolk, VA.....01/08/09

Nigerla...........12/13/08....12/23/08...01/07/09...05/13/09....07/02/09...VSC....NYC.............12/22/08

rilian............12/16/08....01/09/09...01/27/09...03/20/09....05/05/09...CSC....San_Francisco...01/08/09

Jackjack..........12/17/08....12/27/08...01/14/09...03/12/09....03/17/09...VSC....Boston..........12/26/08

ptrober...........12/17/08....12/31/08...01/22/09...03/10/09....04/16/09...NSC....Cincinnati......01/05/09

radacos...........12/17/08....12/30/08...02/23/09...05/05/09....xx/xx/xx...NSC....Seattle.........12/31/08

alwayswin.........12/18/08....12/31/08...01/23/09...04/15/09....06/17/09...VSC....Buffalo,NY......01/02/09

Debra&John........12/18/08....12/31/08...01/22/09...04/30/09....05/07/09...NSC....Seattle.........01/06/09

DoxATL............12/23/08....12/29/08...04/30/09...06/22/09....xx/xx/xx...TSC....Atlanta.........01/06/09

skoopie...........12/24/08....12/29/08...01/24/09...04/21/09....04/21/09...VSC....Newark,NJ.......01/06/09

den_y2005.........12/24/08....01/05/09...xx/xx/xx...04/27/09....06/26/09...CSC....Santa_Ana.......01/05/09

edandying.........12/27/08....01/07/09...01/29/09...04/20/09....xx/xx/xx...NSC....Chicago.........01/08/09

jamieswith........12/29/08....01/02/09...xx/xx/xx...04/06/09....04/22/09...TSC....Houston.........01/06/09

Kunjal27..........12/29/08....01/02/09...01/30/09...04/28/09....04/28/09...TSC....Atlanta.........01/06/09

Aizi..............12/29/08....01/05/09...02/03/09...04/23/09....04/23/09...VSC....Newark,NJ.......01/12/09

May 22, 2009

I contacted these people before I was called in for the interview. I am just getting results from my inquiries as to why my initial interview was cancelled and why my file has not been sent to the NYC office.

The file is now in transit and should be there this week.

May 22, 2009

As part of my campaign to move my case forward, I sent emails to the NYC District Director, Senator Schumer's office and to the CIS Ombudsman.

There has been progress from District office and today someone from the Ombudsman office called me to say my file let yesterday and is in transit to NYC office.

Hopefully my oath letter should be here in the next few weeks. I cannot wait to join the rest of the December crew who have completed this process.

I hope it ends soon for all of us, and for those waiting, please be very aggressive in pursuing your interests.

May 16, 2009

here is the link for everyone else looking to contact USCIS officials.

http://www.state.gov/documents/organization/88027.pdf

May 16, 2009

s02008, I found the contact information for Tampa Director her email address is kathy.redman@dhs.gov and her chief of staff's contact information is steve.pecinovsky@dhs.gov and the field directors email is stuart.dresser@dhs.gov and phone number (813)637-3001.

I would send them all an email; bcc the email. Put your A number in the email, receipt number and address. Let me know how it goes.

May 13, 2009

NigerLA, I tried to find the email address for any of the southeast region leaders but no success, do you happen to know any by chance.

I looked up their names and the emai suffix from a sample email and sent the emails. Something like (sample) John.Adams@dhs.gov. Once you know their names you can figure out what their email says.

May 13, 2009

Name..............SentDate....NOA1.......Biodate....Interview...Oath.... Center..LocalOffice.....CheckCashed

shadow_dog........12/01/08....12/05/08...12/31/08...04/13/09....xx/xx/xx...NBC....Chicago.........??/??/??

samsbs............12/01/08....12/23/08...01/14/09...03/20/09....05/05/09...CSC....San_Francisco...12/24/08

broma25...........12/01/08....12/15/08...01/03/09...04/10/09....04/24/09...VSC....Philadelphia....12/12/08

farah2005.........12/01/08....12/12/08...04/13/09. .xx/xx/xx....xx/xx/xx...TSC....Miami...........12/09/08