Griffon76

Just wanted to say hi to the group! HI!!! My fiance is the Canadian and I have to say in reply to this thread that I won't miss my favorite thing from Canada 'cause he's here with me! LOL

One sweet I was remembering was these chocolate covered almonds from Fortino's!! OMG they are the best I've ever tasted...I also miss Fortino's in general. Reminds me of the Italian specialty grocery stores I knew as a youngster (none here in this mountain town)

And thanks again to those who have helped me so far in answering questions I've had relating to his VJ. I know I have more coming....

What is your question? Are you talking about questions at the POE or at the AOS interview?

Thanks for your patient reply...It will be at the AOS interview since my husband is already here. The question I had was this

What kind of (physical) proof can I show if asked for proof of intent when he originally entered as a visitor? Or would they take our word for it when we explain the situation? Maybe a note from the Innkeeper where we had the ceremony and reception showing when we actually booked with them? A letter from his relatives in Montreal?

The reason I gave the detailed explanation was to give people here the facts about our situation so I could get the correct answer for us.

or worded this way...what kind of proof should I bring to the AOS interview that our intent was not for him to come as a visitor and marry and immigrate when here. My previous post stated that we changed our plans after he got here and we had time to reflect our options.

(I copied this from my last post in another discussion)...

LOL I'm a nervous wreck and not because we did anything wrong but hoping that what we show as proof that we did not intend to marry on his last visit is enough. One...he was not legally divorced when he entered (we knew it would not be for months until he was and the fact that the proceedings were just started a week prior to his coming here) and two...he had made arrangements to live with a relative in Montreal (where his interview for the K1 visa would take place) when he returned to wait for the interview date. All of his belongings are in storage and we had intended to get it out when his K1 visa was approved and I came to help him drive his car back. One of the things that helped in the decision to marry sooner is his house, that was put up for sale in Feb '06 sold in 2 days! We thought since the house across the street was still on the market after 6 months, that we would have plenty of time while the K1 visa was being processed. He had some money to live on while he would be in Montreal but now the house was gone and he would be spending longer than we thought with the relatives.

What kind of (physical) proof can I show for these things? Or would they take our word for it when we explain the situation? The other thing is we did not start planning our wedding until a few months into his visit and put it together in a short amount of time. Because of that, not all relatives and friends could come and had a fairly small wedding. Maybe a note from the Innkeeper where we had the ceremony and reception showing when we actually booked with them? A letter from his relatives in Montreal?

I guess that is the only thing worrying me about all this. Both of us are always concerned with being totally honest about everything and doing things the RIGHT way and not having any doubts about who we are or what we are about. Hence, worrying about having to PROVE our intentions. Am I just over worrying myself about this?

Thanks for the info! I have read and re-read a LOT of these guides (those that pertained to me) and I somehow missed the part about filing the I130 in all the confusion of paperwork! (I've got a stack of paperwork in a file pertaining to everything we are sending)

LOL I'm a nervous wreck and not because we did anything wrong but hoping that what we show as proof that we did not intend to marry on his last visit is enough. One...he was not legally divorced when he entered (we knew it would not be for months until he was and the fact that the proceedings were just started a week prior to his coming here) and two...he had made arrangements to live with a relative in Montreal (where his interview for the K1 visa would take place) when he returned to wait for the interview date. All of his belongings are in storage and we had intended to get it out when his K1 visa was approved and I came to help him drive his car back. One of the things that helped in the decision to marry sooner is his house, that was put up for sale in Feb '06 sold in 2 days! We thought since the house across the street was still on the market after 6 months, that we would have plenty of time while the K1 visa was being processed. He had some money to live on while he would be in Montreal but now the house was gone and he would be spending longer than we thought with the relatives.

What kind of (physical) proof can I show for these things? Or would they take our word for it when we explain the situation? The other thing is we did not start planning our wedding until a few months into his visit and put it together in a short amount of time. Because of that, not all relatives and friends could come and had a fairly small wedding. Maybe a note from the Innkeeper where we had the ceremony and reception showing when we actually booked with them? A letter from his relatives in Montreal?

I guess that is the only thing worrying me about all this. Both of us are always concerned with being totally honest about everything and doing things the RIGHT way and not having any doubts about who we are or what we are about. Hence, worrying about having to PROVE our intentions. Am I just over worrying myself about this?

I've gotten all the forms I thought I needed to get my husband's Visa Journey started and showed all of it to a friend of mine (she started her VJ a few years ago and has recently gone thru the Citizenship ceremony). The list of forms I have ready are:

I485 - AOS application

G325a - Biographic info

I693 - Medical Exam

I864 - Affidavit of Support

I785 - EAD

I131 - AP application

She then informed me that I was missing the I130 form (petition for alien relative). My husband entered back in May '06 from Canada (visitor) with the intention of going back and filing K1 when his divorce was final. We decided to have him stay and get the divorce rolling and get married when he had the divorce decree in hand (which was just last month and within the 180 days) I was surprised that I missed the info about filing the petition for alien relative and was just checking to see if she is correct. Do I send this with the I485 and all the other documents together or do I send this by itself? or at all? She also mentioned that she thought we could go in person and file this (I believe we go to the Norfolk office) Can anyone set me straight?

Thanks in advance for your help!

I had been wondering about this whole situation too. Ours happened because his divorce lawyer told us we would have the certified copy of divorce in hand by the beginning of August 2006. Well, that time came and went and we were not about to cancel wedding plans as friends and family came from all over. So we waited til we got the papers (got them this past Monday) and we met the Reverend that officiated the religious ceremony to sign the marriage license. No pictures were taken this time as it was in a public place just to get them signed. We do have all kinds of pictures from the August wedding and that is all I have to show. She mentioned that it was legal for her to do this and it was more common than I might think. I thought we had to sign something (besides the application for the marriage license) as well as our witnesses but apparently not in the Commonwealth of Virginia!! This was not planned this way but it happened and I will have to show my photos in August.

Just a quick update to all. I'm still working on the divorce papers, he's now out on bail. His step mom put her house up as bail (what a fool). Anyway, hopefully by next wednesday I'll be delivering my papers to the Newark Court House. He now says he's gonna ask for spousal support...WHAT A JOKE.

Spousal support!!!!! OMG!!! I cannot believe the audacity of this man!! Missmariemc, I hope and pray that you can move on safely with your life and not have this wreck of a man bother you in your pursuit of happiness here in the US!!!

I am proud of you, sister, for standing up for yourself and not feeling as if you NEED him in your life. When you are ready, I hope you meet and fall in love again, with someone who will treat you the way you deserve

You people are repugnant, coming to the defense of a gold digger. It just disgusts me how judgemental you all are here. Religious, moral thumping, fundamentalists of the worst kind.

Thank god he didn't marry. He was smart enough to see that she is indeed a gold digger. Once he married, he might have lost half of his assests. He was smart enough to prevent that from happening. And you all chastize him for that?

As Dean said, it's not an urban legend that foreign women from poor countries come to US for other motives than simple marriage. It's a fact of reality that many women do come to the US under a K-1 under false pretenses and many stupid American men under the delusion of "true love" are slaughtered like stupid little lambs. This guy is at least smart enough to not fall for it before it's too late.

Don't judge, lest you be judged!

I don't know if you fully read the original post from this man. He said she DID agree to sign. It was her response that he didn't like. That's what boggles my mind. She agrees to sign, he doesn't like her response and decided he doesn't want to be bothered to work this misunderstanding out...instead of trying to understand WHY she responded in this way...unless he's left more information out. Seems to me he's found an excuse to get her out of his life and he's made up his mind.....hmmmmm!

So you think she has not given up her whole life to come to be with you???

She has spent her life living in Kyrgyzstan surounded by her family and friends, Knowing how her society works and understanding all the social aspects of her way of life.... It does not matter how well edcuated she is she has left her home, left her family... uprooted her child and all for your love.... if you dont like what you now see then be a man and be honest tell her you have changed your mind dont try to make it out to be her doing by insisting she now agree to something that was not agreed on before she arrived in the USA...

For anyone going through immigration process to think that the person moving from their home country to be with them has not given up there whole life then my friend your head is up your ###....

Kezzie

Well said, Kezzie!!!

What is your problem with a pre-nupt? Does it not make sense to you? Whether its six months before a marriage or two weeks?

I certainly hope that someone would not spring a pre-nup on their fiancee 2 weeks before the wedding. I would consider that cold and cowardly. This is something that should have been discussed around the time of engagement. Coming from a woman's point of view, maybe she is offended that there might not be as much trust in the relationship as she believed. She DID offer to sign it after all so I don't feel she is THAT against it. The way you went about it might be the key in how she reacted. Yes, pre-nups make sense in this day and age, but it IS a touchy subject that should be handled very carefully so as not to damage the relationship/trust aspect.

Here is another way to put it...we (my fiance and I) discussed our feelings on this and his reaction was, "I don't forsee us getting divorced. I am in this til the end and if we have any problems that we need help with, then we get help. Divorce is not an option!" Sure my ego was flattered that nowhere in his mind was the option of divorce. That he is willing to work at it so we don't end up where we both were before we met. So maybe your fiance was looking for that kind of comittment from you, hence her feelings being vey hurt.

Again...prenups in this day and age are smart if you both have prior assets but it MUST be handled with care...Hope this helps!

I believe the passport requirement is an "and/or" as proof of your citizenship. Your b/c will do that, so should be good.

You might want to get a passport anyhow, cuz you're going to need it for travelling just about anywhere soon, even Canada.

Thanks, Reba, and I actually have the passport application right in front of me! I picked one up at the post office and will get that done ASAP!!

I can't believe we will be starting the VJ soon! WooHoo!!

I have a list here (thanks to VJ) of all I need to begin the Visa Journey. One of the things on the list (in order for us to file for AOS) is a copy of the divorce decree. Is it recommended to send a copy or a certified copy? My husband has one certified copy of his divorce decree and I don't want to send that. I wish we had the forsight to ask his attorney for 2 more certified copies! LOL What do you all recommend?

Thanks in advance!

OK I finally found my answer...I promise, I did a search b4 but nothing came up for the words I used. I do have another question and I'll laugh my head off if I find that answer right after too!

I see that it is asked of the USC to submit a copy of their passport. If the USC doesn't have one (used a BC and DL for all travel) should we wait to file until I receive one? I apologize if this is a silly question....

Please look here for the particulars of divorce in the Commonwealth of Virginia.

http://www.divorcenet.com/states/virginia/...nia_divorce_law

Where in VA is your ex from? Maybe I can refer my lawyer to you.

I do know that in your case, grounds for divorce has been met (living apart for one year). After the 'Bill of Complaint for Divorce' is filed and served on the other, they have 21 days to respond after which it's referred to a commisioner if no response was given. After reviewing the evidence in a hearing, the divorce is then recommended to a judge and he/she signs the decree....this is how it will happen if there is no dispute over property and/or children.

Good luck!

Hello, Caladan,

I had the same problem here with our post office and I fixed that by getting a PO Box. All of my important mail goes there and I haven't had a problem with lost mail since.

I don't know if we can use our PO Box on our immigration paperwork. (we haven't started as of yet) but maybe someone here can comment on that

I wonder if anyone has had this dilemma?

As our wedding plans have been started suddenly we tried to plan a date that would give guests sufficient time to make plans as well as give time for one divorce to be finalized (paperwork was not started until this last visit when we decided not to wait any longer to get married) As it turns out, the original marriage certificate couldn't be found so the attorney requested it from wherever it is filed. 2 months have passed and no sign of the certificate. He can't proceed with the divorce until he has it. When we set the date for us, it factored in the time frame that the attorney gave us for it to be finalized. Now it looks as if it might not get done in time. So we plan to have the religious/family ceremony as planned and get the civil one done as soon as we are able. Is that weird??? If we waited to have the paperwork in hand then most family and friends might not be able to come on such a short notice. I wish it were the other way around, civil first then the religious later but we have deposits on everything and don't want to cancel as people already have made plans to come. You never know, everything might work out just right but I'm getting worried LOL

Any input??

I guess it's true then, it depends on the individual guards. Neither of us were asked about sufficient proof of returning at any time. There were a few times they didn't even take the driver's license we were holding out to them...just asked how long the visit and when the return and when was the last time we visited.

Believe it or not, one guard (when I told him I was coming back to the States) asked my 'why I would even tolerate having a LDR because most of the time they don't work out.' Can you believe that??

Oh, btw...my fiance and I met on a music related website too. We've gone to a few concerts...have more planned in our lifetime LOL

Can someone delete the extra posts?? I don't know if it was a glitch on VJ's part or my computer...So sorry for the repeats OMG!!!! LOL

Sorry once again....

Hi, calidreamer...I noticed in your timeline that you had a 12 month border block put on you...whatever was the reason for that?? It wasn't as if you were coming to the USA every other week. My fiance is from Canada and the last time he came across, I think the guard was alluding to the fact that he might be blocked next time due to visiting too much. I swear, those of us in LDR must proove that we have a legitimate relationship but on the other hand if we visit 'too much' we are penalized. It sure is frustrating!!

Hi, calidreamer...I noticed in your timeline that you had a 12 month border block put on you...whatever was the reason for that?? It wasn't as if you were coming to the USA every other week. My fiance is from Canada and the last time he came across, I think the guard was alluding to the fact that he might be blocked next time due to visiting too much. I swear, those of us in LDR must proove that we have a legitimate relationship but on the other hand if we visit 'too much' we are penalized. It sure is frustrating!!

Just an update...I haven't heard anything from the supervisor ::grrrr!!:: I have to believe that if he hasn't contacted me by now then it wasn't what I thought it was. Just a coincidence that he called me on THAT day. I don't think I'll know what it was all about until I return to work mid-July. I'll let you all know what it was since you all were kind enough to be supportive.

Now, we're just getting ready to visit my parents (Andy meeting them for the first time!!) Should be loads of fun...really!! I'm sure many of you have great stories to tell of how THAT meeting went LOL

Griffy

But I want to remind you all of an essential fact of life: when you leave everyone and everything to go someplace else to live with someone else, you are about to experience a lot of drastic changes, both in your own lives and in your life together.

This is what amazed me about my fiance...that he could leave everything behind to be with me and start a life in a new country, basically starting over. I think what part amazes me is loving someone THAT much to make such a change for them. Being in a marriage where I had to wait for the anniversary to hear 'I love you' made me cynical in the 'love' department. Yes, the changes that we are having to make are evident but I see the experience in a whole new light. Being with the love of your life and that person being someone who loves you for being 'you' is such a freeing thing. I'm so much more willing to compromise and do it with joy as I know it will go a long way in building on our commitment together for LIFE.

4 walls-3 words-2 hearts-1 love

Maybe they are calling you to tell you "welcome to permanent employment status, enjoy your raise!"

I thought about that but the others that were hired with me hadn't been called. And thanks for everyone's well wishes....

Griffy

David,

So sorry to hear about your relationship with your wife and how it's ending. I had some tears in my eyes as I read. You know, I have taken relationship courses and realize that with your wife encouraging you to see others, I can't help but feel that she is saying that to justify her own actions (whatever small or large they may be). I wonder if she feels as if she doesn't deserve you, because of the circumstances in her life. She definately has some issues to resolve and maybe some growing up to do on her own.

I hope you take this time to improve yourself (mind, body and soul) and heal your self-confidence. I have seen a couple of friends of mine get back together after a 2 year seperation with NO contact whatsoever. They met before they were teens, became best friends and then lovers later. They fought and grew apart with a lot of anger but after time (and one broken engagement) they started communicating again. Now they are talking marriage as well as healing past hurts. I'm not saying that is what will happen to you but the thing that helped them both was REALLY moving on. They grew up and matured as only time and experience can allow.

My thoughts are with you both in whatever direction life takes you..........

I was married once for 16 years...I filed after counseling and have 2 wonderful teens.

Andy was married 2x...once when he was 19 to an older girl and she left. (He was a spoiled wild child then LOL) He married again when he was 34 (tried to reconcile with the mother of his 21 yr old daughter). Still didn't work after all those years and he was the one to start the divorce.

I never thought that I'd divorce the man I married so long ago but I was so young (21) and naive. I wish I knew then what I know now about love and people in general.