jodari62

I find it crazy there are still people in this thread without an NOA2...

I'm one of them May 23 NOA1...still waiting.

Hello...my mother-in-law is 64 years old. After my wife is here permanently, we are considering bringing her mother here on a immigrant visa. Will she qualify for anything like medicare, etc.? Or, will we have to buy regular insurance for her? Thanks!

Did Uscis send you a letter or an email for the service request?

What I posted in the beginning was from an emailed response.

That is the typical brush off to a service request. And yes you can't do another one until you wait 30 days from their last response. If they truly are outside normal processing time, getting a congressman or senator to inquire for you appears to help get you case finally looked at.

My NOA1 date is May 23, 2014, and the processing time frame for Vermont is 5 months, so I am a month and a week outside of that now. Does submitting the service request online basically accomplish the same thing as calling the service center and having them initiate another service request? Is one way preferred over the other? Also, is a senator better than a congressman or vice verse to inquire?

Hello! My I-130 has an NOA1 date of May 23, 2014. After I passed the five month mark waiting, I sent in an online service request to USCIS on Oct. 28, 2014. They replied back on Nov. 10, 2014 with the following:

Type of service requested:

-- Outside Normal Processing Times

The status of this service request is:

Recently, you contacted USCIS concerning your Petition for Alien Relative (Form I-130) to notify us that you believe your case is outside of our normal processing time. Below is a summary of what we found and how the issue has been or may be resolved.

Your petition is still pending consideration. We regret that we are not able to give you a timeframe for when we will complete the review of your petition.

I called USCIS today and was told that I have to wait an additional 30 days from their reply on Nov. 10 before they can do another service request, which they said would be Dec. 11.

Has anybody experienced this same situation before? Is it pretty much normal? Is there anything else I should do before Dec. 11, or go about it a different way , or just put in another service request on Dec. 11?

Thanks!

I'm sorry but this comment makes you seem heartless. Her mother ended up in the Hospital no one to care for her so she went back home to care for her. She may not be on her death bead but wouldn't you want help when you're old from your family?

Personally things are too fresh I would give it some time. Get mom stable again and hire a nurse so your wife feels better and can think clearly.

I agree, and have thought about that often. How can one be upset with their wife for this commitment? And yes, I always think about how lucky I would be for my two grown daughters to be there even a fraction of the time my wife is with her mother.

Obviously, this is not an "immigration" questions but a romance question.

Every situation is different. In my own case, I spent two years trying to get my girlfriend to agree to marry me and move to the USA. She finally did marry me but refused to move, and when she finally agreed to move she threw me out two days after arriving. In short, she never really had a commitment to me.

You can't make someone be something just because you want them to be. You can't make someone love you, or love you more than they love something or someone else, or make them want your way of life more than they want some other way of life.

I didn't read every post in the thread, but I read most of them, and I didn't really see much pertaining to what your relationship is like now. Fortunately we now have tools to make international phone and video calls for free or very low cost. Do you talk often? Video chat? What are the conversations like? Are you still central to her life, or are you something she squeezes in between caring for her mother and her daughter? Does the mother say "I'm grateful you're here, but I promise that when your husband comes here to see you or you go to see him, I'll make sure to not be needy at those times?" How much are you able to see each other? (In my case, despite it being a long-distance relationship, we were at least able to see each other about two weekends a month, due to a combination of it being a fairly short distance, favorable airline schedules, and learning a zillion frequent flier tricks.) How important is it to be physically together?

It's a sad thing to contemplate, but she might either not be committed to you, or simply not want to leave her home and culture behind. In that case, you really have no choice but to sadly cut your losses. If you believe she still loves you and wants a life with you and your life now is manageable, then maybe you can stick it out.

Some really good feedback tuckin14. We text 1-2 times per day, talk on Skype every night, very caring and loving conversations, she thinks about me always and I am very important to her, she always makes time to see and talk to me online, and the mother supports her giving me her time unconditionally when I visit. We are able to see each other about two weekends per month for about a 4-5 day stretch per visit.

I feel really sorry for her; only you can tell whether the "I've got to take care of my mom...you can come and visit us" is a sort of gentle way to get out of the marriage, or not.

Talk to her some more about it and try to figure out what she really wants. If her mom suddenly died, would she want to then come to the U.S. to live? Or no?

Yes, she will move here to the US permanently with her 7 yr old daughter when her mom dies.

Family is big in LatinAmerica; being only daughter, even if other relatives are around has a big weight.

I'd research various avenues before confronting the situation: what is the prognosis, gravity of the illness? Age of mom? (if older age, more attachment oculd be expected); since you mention working for an airline, how possible is for wife to travel to Colombia on an emergency? And, would that allow for a nurse/care to be secured, and if situatoin worseness wife can jump on a place with little/no notice? Is it possible to bring mom to the US? Even if maybe not immediately, within some period of time?

You mentioned 'only daughter', Does it mean there are brothers in the picture (not that it would be a big diff, but with brothers and nurse/health care, it could be sufficient for daughter to live in US and then travel with some frequency/emergency)

Is mother living in a major city where health care is more prevalent or in a province city/town.?

ALso, 'nobdy else' might be a figure of speech; there are almost always several relatives that could help, more so if an stipend is provided for that care. As well, take into account that the illness might have just manifested or there was a recent worsening and a common reaction is to jump on a plane because maybe it has been pointed by relatives as "come over, mom is in death bed"; after some time, once it is seen things are stable, wife would be sufficiently relieved to get back to US. "Some time" could be 2-3 months by the way.

Good luck

The prognosis is status quo for now. She's 65 years old. She has a severe bout with her emphysema and goes to the hospital about once a month. It's very possible for her to travel home if there is an emergency.There would probably be a nurse or somebody that could help out if there was an emergency. The mother doesn't want to live in the US.

Yes, the mother is living in a city where healthcare is prevalent.

Our CR-1 petition is still waiting to be processed in Vermont, after 5 and a half months. Once is gets approved and sent to the NVC, how long can it sit with NVC waiting for payment before it is considered abandoned? If I decide to cancel the petition, is it allowable at the NVC state before payment is made? Can I still cancel it at the NVC stage even if payment has been made?

Was your wife happy in the US? What is your mother-in-law's prognosis? Are her doctors talking about long-term care or have they said that she doesn't have long to live?

She was only here with her daughter two and a half weeks. She was a bit worried about her mother, but when her mother cracked her four vertebrae and went into the hospital, she returned and realized she couldn't leave her mother alone in the future.

She now wears a back brace, goes to the hospital once a month for various health reasons. Pretty much longer term I think, but my wife has been afraid she might have died a couple of times, and her mother has said she's not thrilled about living in the condition she is.

This illness did not come about suddenly. Her mother had this when the OP applied for the visa. His wife knew what it meant to travel with the OP to the US. It seems like the beneficiary got cold feet after having arrived in the US, essentially reneging on her prior agreement or commitment to the OP. Big difference.

She had the illness but it wasn't debilitating when my wife was here. It was when she broke her vertebrae and went into the hospital that all of this happened.

Ultimately, however difficult it is, only you can decide whether or not you want to stay in the marriage. Have you considered moving to Colombia?

I have, but I would have to rent my house in the US and basically commute on my days off. Can't afford to quit my job and move there.

I say talk it over with your wife and if you both

truly love each other it can work. Respect how

she feels about mom she may not have much time left

and that will prove how she would treat you if God

forbid something happens to you.

I speak from experience, I had a situation with 3 kids

in the mix my wife work with the airlines, so I settled

for 3-4 days a week seeing her, also kept the 2 younger

ones until things were sorted out , not easy but she never

resented an extra trip, renting our home & staying at my

parents so my eldest could be monitored when she was

gone. I did lots of stuff via Skype even my kid graduation.

She can ask for a re-entry permission that would allow

her with good reason to stay out . I'll say 23 mths. In the

meantime be happy you have the means to visit her, don't

complain and talk positive a lot to her, most of all never forget

to remind her you love her dude...Good luck

That is one thing I have thought about...I have two grown daughters from a previous marriage and I could only hope they would be around for me a fraction of the time my wife spends with her mom.

I would've paid for someone in Colombia to take care of her mom, at least until your wife got a greencard. Then, I would've said that the best option would be for her to be with her mom 6 months, and in the states 6 months. I don't know your situation. She must know that it itsn't cheap to apply for a visa -- emotionally or monetarily. It seems like she did not love you enough to make a life with you in the US. Does your wife not have aunts or uncles that coud help?

By the way, I assuming her mom is not on her deathbed nor is in danger of imminent death. That would change things.

You're probably right...she doesn't love me enough to make a life here in the USA. She has made it clear her mother is number one and she is committed to caring for her. Her mother was in the hospital for ten days due to cracking four vertebrae from weak bones and coughing so hard. The aunt is a little younger but also has health issues, and there was little to no help from anyone when she was in the hospital nor in the house on her return.

She's not on her deathbed, but my wife doesn't want that to be the last time she sees her.

My wife returned to Colombia due to her mother's illness, and it seems it will be ongoing with no real end in sight...she has emphysema and back problems. Because my wife is her only daughter and nobody else can really help look after her, she has decided she does not want to leave her mother alone in Colombia and live in the USA. All of the goals we had set to be a family here have now burst. She says if I want to remain married to her, I will have to accept the family situation and plan to travel to visit during days I have off, and she will visit during holidays, etc. and some other short term visits throughout the year here in the USA. Fortunately, I work for an airline and have travel benefits. However, this is not what I expected nor was agreed upon when married, and her mother's illness after our marriage necessitated her return.

So, I am asking the wonderfully diverse people here on VJ for their feedback. What would you do? Would you stay in the marriage this way? What suggestions do you have? Your opinions and feedback would be greatly appreciated.

How's Vermont progressing? I have a PD of May 23rd, so it has been 5 months and one day and I no progress.

PD 5/30....VSC for me and I'm still waiting

PD 5/23...I'm still waiting,,,VSC

Are any I-130's from 5/23 forward from VSC starting to get processed?

Thanks for the info. So, if her mother is visiting the US on a tourist visa, she would not be able to AOS either unless my wife was a US citizen and not just a green card holder at the time, correct?

Hi...I have looked at all of the visa categories for family members, but have not been able to find how the mother of my wife would be classified and what the process, etc. would be. From what I can gather so far, my wife has to be a US citizen before she can petition her mother, and not a permanent resident, correct? Is there a waiting period, etc. that applies? Thanks for your feedback.

Wow, great feedback Caryh. I really appreciate it. You touch on a lot of how I have been feeling.

I believe that he filed for a CR1, and she came in on a Tourist Visa after he filed to visit, while it's in the works, not after it's been approved.

This is true. After a week or so, circumstances arose to consider an AOS.

She wrote me earlier that changing countries and customs, combined with her mother's situation, played a heavy burden on her. She has visited here four times in the past two years!

She wants some time to know her mother is OK, readjust her attitude, and try to get a tourist visa for her mother so she can visit occasionally. Again, my frustration is impeding my ability to see how this will all change miraculously, but I truly appreciate everybody's words and advice, as it helped me tremendously and I am trying hard to not be angry or sad, and try to be proactive and supportive.

One thing I recommend is to send a magic jack to your spouses parents so they can call your spouse anytime on the phone.

I didn't even think about that. What a great idea. We had been using Skype and then the Skype toll charges to call on the cell phone, which can add up.

Thank you everybody for your thoughtful words and advice. It is very difficult. She told me today she does not want a divorce and wants to return in December. What I don't understand at this point is if it is so difficult after two weeks here, what makes it all better to return in November?

Ok, this is really sad, but your wife left today to take care of her mother who is ill and your first concern is about what to do if you decide to end your marriage?!

It's not quite that black and white. Her mother is in the same health as when she left. Her mother is in the same health the past few months...respiratory from being a chronic smoker. She moved next door to her sister and her son moved in to be there to assist with anything. There is nothing life shattering going with her mom as we speak...just misses her mom immensely. My wife had only been here two weeks before she couldn't take being away. It's a situation that will never get better. She and I are just considering the options, so I'm asking for some feedback here.

What visa did she come on, K1 or Cr-1/IR-1?

She was visiting on a tourist visa for a few weeks while the CR1 petition is processed, which was been submitted three months ago, but not processed yet.

My wife came from Colombia two weeks ago. In that time, her mother has not been in good health, she has been worried sick over her, and she has been extremely home sick and depressed. We decided she would return to Colombia today, which she did. Honestly, I doubt she will be coming back. We have filed a CR1 visa, but it is still in the waiting to get looked at stack at the VSC. If we decide to end our marriage, what do we need to do? Is it better to do something with it before it starts to be processed? Any direction through this difficult time would be greatly appreciated.

Actually, I just found the thread on the I-751. I assume this is the form I need to fill out and pay when the time comes, correct?

Ah, ok. Is there a fee to remove conditions from the green card if married less than two years? Thanks for your feedback!