cheeky^Wolf

Ours is Gerry Rafferty - Right Down the Line. Love it!

Before we met in person, Dave used to text me lyrics to songs and I'd be frantically looking them up and reading far too much into the words!

Years ago, I worked with a Canadian girl in the UK who had come over on vacation and met a guy. They were very young but ended up getting married, we lost touch so I'm not sure if they are still together.

She always said that song got her through the separation. Just the words oceans apart, day after day.

I remember at the time thinking awww how sweet, if only I knew then what she went through and how significant those words really are.

Wishing you a great reunion

Helen

LisaD I really don't think you're the right person to be preaching to others about ignoring comments from others and not reacting. You are as guilty for doing this as the next man.

This isn't a personal attack on you, just an observation

CW, I don't make personal attacks. And I certainly don't think any attacks on me should be moderated. Let em hang out for all to see!

I've been attacked in the past, and the last thing I'd do is stoop to that level...

And if I ever would (everyone's human I suppose), I would be complaining about the attack if I participated in a just-as-guilty reply.

LisaD, I didn't say you made personal attacks. I was referring to ignoring comments from others and not reacting. However, you did once accuse me of being passive agressive, which I would take as a personal attack, but that's in the past

LisaD I really don't think you're the right person to be preaching to others about ignoring comments from others and not reacting. You are as guilty for doing this as the next man.

This isn't a personal attack on you, just an observation

Best thing I ever won was a green card

I never enter competitions and always think I should as someone has to win.

I did once win family tickets to Epcot for the first week it opened. Shows how long ago I last tried!

Happy Birthday RJ!! Have a wonderful day and a drink for me!

Helen

The people complaining are not asking for an eternity of a$$ kissing and apologies, they're asking for acknowledgement. That's all. Acknowledgement that their complaints through the proper channels are not falling on deaf ears because of who they are. You don't have to name names, publicly humiliate or flog someone. I once complained about a mod and got the response from Ewok "read the thread, totally agree with you, I'll PM them now". That's all it took. I was happy my complaint/query had been dealt with in the right way and this person would heed the warning given to them.

If someone PMs me requesting I look into something, or they complain about someone, I DO acknowledge them and make it obvious that I am taking some action. You haven't, to my knowledge, complained to me directly so you do not know how I respond in PMs. Try it one day, you might be pleasantly surprised! B)

I wasn't directing this at you personally. Lower the defense mechanisms! I know in the past, people have complained about members and have not received any acknowledgement is all. I was simply saying that in MY opinion, this is where communication breaks down and problems arise. But for the record, I did ask you during PM's last week if HA would be receiving any kind of warning (as I did) for her comments, and was told you cannot discuss that with me. Maybe because I'm not report happy on people and didn't press the button. Presumption on my part that my direct question would be obvious.

Now let's take this thread for instance. PlatyPius comes in and calls Dev names. Outright. No thinly veiled opinions, no code, nothing. I would like to think Mags has said something to him face to face. Do I know that's happened? no. If I ask, will Mags tell me? no. So therein lies the frustration. All Mags says is a disclaimer that her husband can call people names and she doesn't necessarily agree with him. This is just so wrong in my opinion. If it had been me who had called Dev names, I would have been reported, possibly PM'd and a warning would be in the thread to avoid personal attacks.

Also just for the record.. it really doesn't look too professional or fill people with confidence when even a Mod's husband admits to only being here to be an a$$hole.

My disclaimer was not condoning PlatyPius' behaviour nor agreeing with it; I thought I made that perfectly clear. I'll clarify again that my husband is his own person and NO special treatment is applied in his case regarding warnings and bans either. If he crosses the line I will have no hesitation in carrying out any actions. I'd prefer it if people could please see us as two separate entities and not just use it as another chance to have a go at me.

I have done all I can in this thread. I've stated that I will bring up many of the suggestions put forward here with the mods and the Captain; until then my hands are tied and there is nothing more that I can add.

Yes you did make that clear in your disclaimer, however, and again, this is an opinion on taking VJ forward, I think it would have been a lot more pro active for you to have asked him in the forum to stop the personal attacks. This has been done in the past. Consistency is the key.

I found at Charlotte, NC that the US Immigration took no longer than usual, they just told me to go through to Customs and divert off to the side for my interview, therefore I collected my bags from the carousel before going in.

Good luck, I'm sure you'll be fine.

Helen

Grr I typed a big long essay and it's gone! (my error, not the invisibility elf)

OK I've hesitated on having any input on this thread for the last 2 days, following my warning for thinly veiled opinions and piggybacking on others comments. I don't see how I can comment without piggybacking and thinly veiled opinions seem to be running rampant in this thread.

There are 2 camps in the VJ UK forum. This isn't going to go away overnight, but really does need to go away as it's causing a really bad atmosphere. I would think out of everyone, the mods would be the people who would want this resolved as quickly as possible. The people complaining are not asking for an eternity of a$$ kissing and apologies, they're asking for acknowledgement. That's all. Acknowledgement that their complaints through the proper channels are not falling on deaf ears because of who they are. You don't have to name names, publicly humiliate or flog someone. I once complained about a mod and got the response from Ewok "read the thread, totally agree with you, I'll PM them now". That's all it took. I was happy my complaint/query had been dealt with in the right way and this person would heed the warning given to them.

As for members being rated on their valuability to VJ, damn right! If someone who doesn't or hasn't been through the visa process and only posts in OT is complaining about a member who supplies countless posts on visa problems and answers the poster efficiently and correctly, who is the more deserving to be here? I know personally that some of the people in this thread alone helped me immensely on my journey, and if it wasn't for them I would have been heavily medicated by now.

Now let's take this thread for instance. PlatyPius comes in and calls Dev names. Outright. No thinly veiled opinions, no code, nothing. I would like to think Mags has said something to him face to face. Do I know that's happened? no. If I ask, will Mags tell me? no. So therein lies the frustration. All Mags says is a disclaimer that her husband can call people names and she doesn't necessarily agree with him. This is just so wrong in my opinion. If it had been me who had called Dev names, I would have been reported, possibly PM'd and a warning would be in the thread to avoid personal attacks.

Also just for the record.. it really doesn't look too professional or fill people with confidence when even a Mod's husband admits to only being here to be an a$$hole.

Just my views. I don't have diseases and I'm not suffering from any withdrawals of anything, so this is me rationally saying what I think, no excuses.

Aww how exciting for both of you, happy traveling, happy reunion, happy everything!

Helen

Personally I would consider it a definite problem if people like Kez, rebeccajo, dev et al., are getting pissed off because these people are the backbone of the AOS forum and others, and losing them would be a huge loss to the forum.

Yeah, but Dev is ALWAYS pissed off.

I am? Since when do you speak for me?

New VJ feature

Im late into this. i was on vacation (weeeeeeeeee )

I do have a comment tho, HA is only seeking attention, why here i dunno, maybe its easier to beg for attention from ppl she doesnt know or have to look at on a daily basis. The point is if we keep giving it to her, she will keep staying and posting attention threads only in hopes ppl will respond and she can attack. If we just discontinue giving her what she wants, she will either go away (since she has no immigration purposes here anymore that she has stated), or she will just stop with the immature attacks on ppl.

I have at one point had an argument with her, and as mags remembers instead of continuing it on the thread i took it to PM, and she immediatly blocked me, then took it back to the thread and continued to attack me there, which was incredibly immature and against TOS with the attacks. i do wonder why she is even still on VJ, by choice or not, and if her only purpose here now is to tell me and certain others that our marriages are going to fail, or to brag about dating 2 weeks after her failed marriage, or brag about her bank account and then only here to attack ppl, why is she still here?

and that is my back from vacation thought

greast post.

So she's a known troll and the thread in question isn't locked down why?

I don't get it.

I agree about the healthcare and it's the one thing that worries me about getting older in the US. It's very sad to see people not getting treatment needed due to cost.

Saying that, I went to the doctors this week with abdominal pain. She told me she wanted me to have an EKG and an Ultrasound. The EKG machine was wheeled into the examination room and the ultrasound was booked for 2 days later. I walked out 45 minutes later with a prescription which cost me $4.

In the UK, I waited 8 months for an ultrasound appointment, which then came through for when I was on vacation, so I went back on the waiting list and am probably still on it! Gotta love the NHS.

www.insureandgo.com are good and cheap.

I should of said my husband DOES miss the bacon! lol

Ohhh the bacon!!

Go for it Lansbury! I'm midway through joining the American masses in the medical field. Something I always wanted to do in the UK, but the idea of being a paramedic around London just filled me with fear. As well as learning the medical side, I also have to learn my way around the Township! I think that may be the bigger hurdle of the two. Not looking forward to trying to drive backwards through cones in an ambulance for my driving certification, but it'll be fun I'm sure.

Best of luck to you. One of the best courses I did in my police career was an advance driving course at Hendon. Six weeks of real fun, and one or two moments of terror. We had to reverse at speed through a slalom course, it came with practice.

My dad says the same thing. He's never forgotten his Hendon days!

Thanks for the good wishes

Cheeky^Wolf ~ my inbox has been empty for around 10 minutes.

Ahh, that'll be while I was typing in this thread.

Mags, I have tried to respond to you in PM but your inbox is full.

I would hope that my comments here won't be misinterpreted as piggy backing on others, as I was accused of doing on the now locked thread. These are my opinions with no veils (whatever that means).

I'm afraid to say, the only atmosphere that is being promoted on VJ for me and many others is unfair modding.

I was accused of violating the TOS with thinly veiled opinions. As has been said before, this has been apparent in a majority of other users posts and no action has been taken. I was also accused of insulting the op, which was not the case. As per "the cycle", I fully expected my posts in the other thread to be made invisible. They weren't, and I can only presume that this is due to the fact that people would have asked why some of the OP's posts weren't too.

Jeez, who gives a toss if she wants to share info or not? Whether people agree or disagree is kinda besides the point. So she changed her mind...big whoop. If any of you think she's being an AW...well guess what, if you don't rise to the occassion by giving her that attn, well then you've neutered her efforts. Because it's only going to turn into a locked thread cos you'll say summat, then she will, then you'll reply...etc.

No one here needs to justify his/her presence....so she's not on a VJ anymore...but she's spent a lot of time here and maybe the familiarity of this place is helping her through her adjustment back home.

I think it's more the pattern that's emerged that is the problem.

Sweetness & light, sweetness & light, me, me, me, I have a problem, please help me, why should I listen to you, you don't know me, I don't need your advice, who asked you anyway, poor poor pitiful me, why do I get victimized, you're now on ignore. THEN she gets the sympathy as some give her the benefit of the doubt.

She's a psychology students dream.

Twice now she's posted F you topics and then has been let back into the warmth of VJ's arms. If her attitude hadn't been so b!tchy in the past, maybe more people would be sympathetic.

So are you annoyed that some people have turned the other cheek?

You know, there was this time when I loathed this person I had to be around. I'd always be outraged at the sh!t she did. One time, this psychologist friend of mine said:

has she always annoyed you? answer: yes

has she always done the 'wrong thing' iyo? answer: yes

then why do you suddenly expect her to change????? answer: speechless

and from that point on, I was never annoyed again.

If you feel HA's pattern is this that or the other, why are you suprised when you see her doing something within that pattern?

I've never been further from either of these emotions .

I think it's amusing someone feels the need to lay their life into a forum for all to trample on. Do we care what she earns? Was it really necessary to share that info? Do we care her husband is a mama's boy? Are bowel movements the next thing she'll be sharing? If people want to enable her addiction to attention, then knock yourself out. It is just very unfair to see relatively new VJers feel that they have said something out of line, when someone's mood varies from hour to hour between sweet as sugar to poison.

Jeez, who gives a toss if she wants to share info or not? Whether people agree or disagree is kinda besides the point. So she changed her mind...big whoop. If any of you think she's being an AW...well guess what, if you don't rise to the occassion by giving her that attn, well then you've neutered her efforts. Because it's only going to turn into a locked thread cos you'll say summat, then she will, then you'll reply...etc.

No one here needs to justify his/her presence....so she's not on a VJ anymore...but she's spent a lot of time here and maybe the familiarity of this place is helping her through her adjustment back home.

I think it's more the pattern that's emerged that is the problem.

Sweetness & light, sweetness & light, me, me, me, I have a problem, please help me, why should I listen to you, you don't know me, I don't need your advice, who asked you anyway, poor poor pitiful me, why do I get victimized, you're now on ignore. THEN she gets the sympathy as some give her the benefit of the doubt.

She's a psychology students dream.

Twice now she's posted F you topics and then has been let back into the warmth of VJ's arms. If her attitude hadn't been so b!tchy in the past, maybe more people would be sympathetic.

Ok have you all seen these piccys of Posh's legs??? BLECK! Guess money doesn't fix everything...!

http://www.thisislondon.co.uk/showbiz/arti...legs/article.do

They did this kind of thing with Princess Di's legs too. It must be a bad camera angle or enhancement or something. I can't believe VB lost THAT much weight, that the elasticity went in her legs already.

I should of said my husband DOES miss the bacon! lol

Ohhh the bacon!!

Go for it Lansbury! I'm midway through joining the American masses in the medical field. Something I always wanted to do in the UK, but the idea of being a paramedic around London just filled me with fear. As well as learning the medical side, I also have to learn my way around the Township! I think that may be the bigger hurdle of the two. Not looking forward to trying to drive backwards through cones in an ambulance for my driving certification, but it'll be fun I'm sure.

I don't think it's a big deal. Age is just a number. Course, I'm older than my fiance, but we get along better as a couple than I've ever gotten along with anyone.

Just a side note, I don't know much about you or your marriage and it's not my business, but often times a marriage is over long before it's over. So if you want to move

on, you are the only one who can make that call.

Yes, I am.

I do often wonder why the hell I continue to post here when some people are so extraordinarily judgmental. Not you necessarily; just some people. It seems that some people in exactly the same situation get a lot of cooing and sympathy, whereas I get kicked in the head. Funnily enough it doesn't bother me anymore; kick away.

I wasn't passing judgment. I am divorced and a lot of people couldn't figure out why I didn't spend more time waiting for him to "change." He has, in fact, done a lot of changing and I'm sure his new wife is happy about it I'm not bitter anymore though, just glad that I was able to move on and be happy again.

What I meant by my comment is that perhaps your marriage was over long before either of you voiced it? Sometimes just voicing it is a shock in itself. But to be fair to whomever you date next, it's always good to have closure on the previous relationship. That's for anyone, me included, not necessarily pointing fingers at you.

Well said jundp, but I think any advice is falling on deaf ears. I'm sorry to say this is just another attention thread from H_A.

Why start a topic, wait for certain people to post just to insult them, wait for sympathy votes and flame?

Pathetic. Truly.

I'd say if you are already thinking about dating other men, you are obviously over your marriage already, so why are you still dwelling on it? Maybe you are the one who is confused on what you want as much as your husband is, and you BOTH need a therapist.

It happened. You can't change that. As I said before in your "divorce" thread, all the ####### you've said about your husband on here, you've made him sound like a spineless idiot anyway, I'm surprised your marriage lasted as long as it did. These feelings of hatred towards family members or even spouses don't happen overnight once they tell you something you don't want to hear.

Yet again we don't know both sides, yet again we don't know your husband, your marriage, your life, your personalities etc etc, but as has been said, if you don't want to hear opinions, don't throw your life into a forum. I'm sure you have friends on here you could have PM'd for opinion rather than asking complete strangers, whose points of view you wouldn't appreciate.

A 6 year age gap is nothing in a relationship. Age is just a number and by no means guarantees maturity or responsibility levels.