bronco37

Restraining order is the most abused process that, ironically, is in place to prevent/stop abuse. Please don't go for seeking an RO if you don't need to. It simply destroys lives and clogs the justice system even further. Just file for divorce and get on with your own lives.

Get a new passport. Chill out somewhere in MX. Honestly, MX has a LOT of opportunities these days as compared to USA for folks who are new here. It's not like old days where USA is the place to be. If you are running from debts, well, I've no idea how to help/advise you there. If your husband is giving you money to leave him alone, get it in writing from him so that it's on paper and make that a part of your settlement contract for divorce. If you are trying to hang out in the relationship for perma GC, I feel sorry for you. Failed marriage is your issue. Ignore what your family has to say about it if they are not helping you. You can rent a place in MX, cut off ties w/ the people trying to bring you down and rebuild your life. Reinvent yourself. I did. You can too.

Yes. And you should be able to become a permanent resident by yourself after your conditional residency period expires. You just need to follow the guidelines set by USCIS and read this forum,

100% zero chance that you will be deported with good moral character. Meet a good girl, make a new life. Or just live alone and be happy.

Divorce court is the province of women. Read this: http://forum.mensdivorce.com/viewtopic.php?f=4&t=15642

You will need a local attorney to deal with your case. Stay away from this woman. If I were you, I'd claim alimony to support myself. It's really tricky for men. But, it can be done.

It seems to me, based on your narrative, that he is depressed. A psych evaluation maybe useful. Its a tricky thing to do. But, if you know how to get it done, you can get it done in a hospital.

If he is not bugging you, assaulting you, and wants nothing to do with you, it is better to let the man find his peace instead to trying to make him love you thru some other means. It does not work.

I am in 3rd country right now and working here. My wife is USC. I received IR-1 visa in month of feb 2015.

If you are positive that it is a IR-1 visa and not a CR-1 visa then you do not have to worry about anything as you already have a job in the USA. Your wife won't be able to revoke your visa without proving fraud. Proving fraud at the inception of marriage is a hard thing to do if you have evidence of religious or civil marriage taking place between you two and have court documents to prove that marriage indeed took place. You should come and join your new job in the USA but, you must stay away from your wife and never contact her without an attorney. Never meet her alone, take her phone calls - simply cut her out of your life. If you do not pay heed to this little advice from me, you may end up repenting your visit to the USA for the rest of your mortal life. U.S. Justice system will destroy you if your wife merely decides to lie in front of a district court judge. Nothing that you say or do will matter. You will suffer.

If you have a CR-1 visa, you are in murky waters. Legally you can't enter the United states on CR-1 visa knowingly that your wife had requested your visa to be withdrawn. You can play the game w/ customs and claim you did not know it was for real or for that matter you never knew but, end of the day, you will never be able to adjust the status if your wife had already sent in the notarized letter to USCIS or signed the letter in front of a USCIS Officer before you got legally admitted in the U.S.A. So, you will be here for the max period of two years and then your CR-1 visa will expire. It doubtful, as a man, you will be able to succeed in your claaim during deferred inspection hearing with customs. Yes, gender plays a HUGE role in US Justice system - love it or hate it, it does. So, be careful.

If you managed to get admitted on CR-1 visa for two years in the USA, you will also have one surefire option to be a US citizen, if you are under the age of 35, by serving in U.S. Military. Many people have done this and it's an honorable thing to do.

Good Luck in whatever you choose to do but, stay the hell away from your soon-to-be-ex wife. Better yet once you are here, sue her for breach of contract to recoup 80-90k that you claimed to have spent on her. However, be prepared to shell dough on US's finest, attorneys, to receive justice.

WHOA. Dont be so sure of this here!!

Here is ONE article- its from CA, one of the states where one of the 864 decisions came from btw, features two USCs. The Mrs was the primary breadwinner, the Mr was the lazy abusive stay at home dad who regularly abused the Mrs and repeated raped her. Was SENTENCED to prison for RAPING the Mrs (forced oral sex- hung jury on other counts) and they divorced and the MRS was ordered to pay HIM ALIMONY.

Yes, thats right a woman in CA was ORDERED by a judge using the vawa defense you laughed about- to pay her rapist and ex husband alimony in a divorce- plus 47 THOUSAND DOLLARS in his legal fees. OH MY GOODNESS WHAT A WORLD>

http://abcnews.go.com/US/sexual-assault-victim-ordered-pay-alimony-attacker-fights/story?id=16075409&singlePage=true

Now this is ONE article.,

The first para of that linked atricle states...

Crystal Harris, a San Diego woman who accused her husband, Shawn Harris, of sexually assaulting her and was then forced to pay him alimony before he was convicted, said their marriage unraveled when he repeatedly threatened to kill her.

Judge ordered her to pay alimony before her dude husband was convicted. Sorry, not to be mean or a jackass here but, accusation does not prove guilt. Hence, your argument is invalid and effects inconsequential in the discussion about I-864 and payment.

How many immigrants are in this country?

How many I-864 related lawsuits are in the court dockets?

Answer those and move on.

Yes, one can sue. The immediate answer will be one or two countersuits to bring the other party on the negotiation table.

One may win. The appeal process will begin.

and appeal process will continue...

and appeal process will still continue...

(look at the timelines of these cases)

Then after one wins, there is no guarantee that the sponsor will pony up the dough. In most cases, sponsor will not.

Time for contempt filing, more paperwork, more lawsuits.

By this time the case will be reviewed by at least 6-7 judges, 6-8 years will pass by.

Explain me how a person is surviving in the USA below 14k line and still being able to retain attorneys to fight these cases. Other than I-864 support cases, no other associated cases guarantees attorney fees reimbursement.

And if the sponsor is a woman, I call the great VAWA defense right away. "I, as a sponsor, was a victim of domestic abuse and had to choose a life away from the abuser and left the man by seeking a divorce. Your honor, you are asking me to pay this man, this man who abused me and my children (Thank God for children!) all these years." Now, who seriously believes that there will be a judge that will sign a order to pay this abuser immigrant his I-864 money? <lol>

It's really wise to focus effort in empowering the immigrant to become productive member of the American society instead of a leech. In response to question from Republican Senator Jeff Sessions (Ala.) concerning illegal immigration and the workforce, Loretta Lynch stated her belief “that the right and the obligation to work is one that’s shared by everyone in this country regardless of how they came here.” I strongly believe this really should be the approach if the immigrant is not disabled or otherwise incapable in supporting oneself.

Get a divorce. Move on. You don't need a lawyer for a bonafide marriage case unless, of course, you have some skeletons in the closet. Based on your OP, you should be able to do it on your own.

You have a job and have admitted on a public forum that you have a great career. I won't be totally wrong if I boldly say that you will not be able to get any alimony out of her. And, I believe, you don't want or need any of that money either.

As far as I-864 goes, winning a case for I-864 support is one thing and getting that money out of someone's pocket in reality is a whole different ballgame in USA. Not to mention,she is a woman and will have a huge leverage in the courts when she files for a false protective order against you in her preparation for the divorce and to bolster her defense against an impending support lawsuit that you may file should you become jobless. I wonder how many judges, state or federal, will compel a supposed victim of domestic abuse pony up cash based on a contract where you are just a secondary beneficiary. I can guarantee you that you will not get a penny out of that woman and high chances are that she will be able to extract every penny out of you unless you are extremely cautious and take immediate preventive measures against widespread abuse of VAWA. And I ain't kiddin'.

Good Luck.

A close friend of mine, recently got his conditional GC.

They are going through some rough time, and his wife keeps on telling him, whenever they fight, that at any time, she can have his conditional GC cancelled and have him sent back home.

Her family even tried forcefully taking his GC away from him, and destroying it.

Is this true? Can she/they do that?

Thanks

First and foremost.. marriage is marriage. immigration is immigration.

Taking someone's property and destroying it is illegal and falls under criminal code. Green card is U.S. Govt. Property and one can't destroy it. It's illegal. It can be lost, stolen or returned to the Govt.

If your friend is having marital issues, that needs to be resolved first. Immigration is secondary. Unless, of course immigration is the reason for the marriage or plays a bigger role in the immigrant's life. Let me ask you what would your friend do if he was in his country and was facing similar odds? He would have sought counselling and if things did not work out, he would have simply left as there are no children involved.

Being in a foreign country makes it hard to take the second step. But, it's really the only step to take if things do not work out. As a backup plan, he should find out avenues in his own home country.

A close friend of mine, recently got his conditional GC.

Could that lad be ye?

Do the following:

1. Send a notarized letter to USCIS District director via certified mail that describes the issues.

2. Attach all relevant evidence.

3. When you get divorced, prompty send all the relevant documents to the district director and to the address where ROC application is to be submitted. Certified mail.

4. Always, write a cover letter describing the enclosures and notarize it.

All that you can do.

As a man DO NOT expect any active help from police to protect yourself from a violent and abusive wife.

Go to court, file for an ex-parte restraining order to protect yourself and your kids, if you haven't done that already. Stay away from that woman. And file for divorce immediately.

With GC pending, I'd suggest you get some reality check of your situation and start looking for options back home. I know, I may sound like a jerk and you probably left everything for this woman. But, trust me, as a man you could get into a LOT of trouble in the hands of abusive women in this country. Regardless what people tell you, family court is the queendom of women where no king may live. So, do not make the situation worse by keeping in touch with this woman. Totally cut her off and try to find your way back home or settle down here on your own. Good luck either way.

I recommend OP to read this following judgment as recent as Oct 22, 2013.

http://www.uscis.gov/sites/default/files/err/B9%20-%20Battered%20Spouse%20or%20Child/Decisions_Issued_in_2013/OCT222013_03B9204.pdf

Excerpts from page 4:

Evidence for a spousal self-petition -
(i) General. Self-petitioners are encouraged to submit primary evidence whenever
possible. The Service will consider, however, any credible evidence relevant to the
petition. The determination of what evidence is credible and the weight to be given that
evidence shall be within the sole discretion of the Service.
* * *
(vii) Good faith marriage. Evidence of good faith at the time of marriage may include,
but is not limited to, proof that one spouse has been listed as the other's spouse on
insurance policies, property leases, income tax forms, or bank accounts; and testimony or
other evidence regarding courtship, wedding ceremony, shared residence and
experiences. Other types of readily available evidence might include the birth certificates
of children born to the abuser and the spouse; police, medical, or court documents
providing information about the relationship; and affidavits of persons with personal
knowledge of the relationship. All credible relevant evidence will be considered.

What does that mean?

Can you throw a bunch of emails and letters between the spouses, joint bank statements etc. to prove good faith marriage? Yes. But, can you get a successful ROC just on the basis of that? Probably not.

Read further into this ... on page 5:

Good-Faith Entry into the Marriage:

The director correctly determined that the petitioner failed to establish that he married M-T- in good
faith. The record contains the petitioner's declaration, a letter from M-T- and copies of joint bank
statements. The joint bank statements demonstrate a shared residence but do not establish that the
petitioner married M-T- in good faith. Additionally, the statements are dated shortly before M-T- and
the petitioner separated and therefore do not establish the petitioner's good-faith intent upon marrying
him.

Then further down, testimonies/affidavits from other people etc. contributed towards USCIS' decision ..

On appeal, counsel asserts that it is evident from the record that the petitioner loved M-T- as they
had a seven-year relationship that started prior to the petitioner's placement into removal
proceedings. However, the petitioner's declaration did not provide sufficient detail to adequately
address his good faith in marrying M-T-. The petitioner submits letters from nine friends who all
briefly state that they knew the petitioner and M-T- as a married couple and had hoped that things
would work out. The letters fail to provide relevant, substantive information regarding the petitioner's
and M-T-'s relationship. When viewed in the totality, the preponderance of the relevant evidence
demonstrates that the petitioner entered into marriage with his wife in good faith, as required by
section 204(a)(A)(iii)(I)(aa) of the Act.

So, you see it's complex. In this particular case we are talking about a relationship that is 7 years old.

Then further down... BAM!

Section 204(g) of the Act Bars Approval:

Because the petitioner married M-T- while he was in removal proceedings and he did not remain
outside of the United States for two years after their marriage, his self-petition cannot be approved
pursuant to section 204(g) of the Act unless he establishes the bona fides of his marriage by clear and
convincing evidence pursuant to section 245(e)(3) of the Act. While identical or similar evidence may
be submitted to establish a good-faith marriage pursuant to section 204(a)(A)(iii)(I)(aa) of the Act
and the bona fide marriage exemption at section 245(e)(3) of the Act, the latter provision imposes a
heightened burden of proof. Matter of Arthur, 20 I&N Dec. 475, 478 (BIA 1992). See also Pritchett v.
I.N.S., 993 F.2d 80, 85 (5lh Cir. 1993) (acknowledging "clear and convincing evidence" as an "exacting

standard.") To demonstrate eligibility under section 204(a)(A)(iii)(I)(aa) of the Act, the petitioner
must establish his good-faith entry into the qualifying relationship by a preponderance of the evidence
and any relevant, credible evidence shall be considered. Section 204(a)(J) of the Act, 8 U.S.C.
§ 1154(a)(J); Matter ofChawathe, 25 I&N Dec. 369 (AAO 2010). However, to be eligible for the
bona fide marriage exemption under section 245(e)(3) of the Act, the petitioner must establish his good-
faith entry into the marriage by clear and convincing evidence. Section 245(e)(3) of the Act, 8 U.S.C.
§ 1255(e)(3); 8 C.F.R. § 245.1©(9)(v). "Clear and convincing evidence" is a more stringent standard.
Arthur, 20 I&N Dec. at 478. As the petitioner failed to establish his good-faith entry into his marriage
with K-A- by a preponderance of the evidence under section 204(a)(A)(iii)(I)(aa) of the Act, he also
has not demonstrated the bona fides of his marriage under the applicable heightened standard of proof
required by section 245(e)(3) of the Act. Section 204(g) of the Act consequently bars approval of this
petition.

If I were you, I'd document everything as you have a short marriage. Write a concise but, descriptive cover letter describing your entry into the relationship, your effort in maintaining the relationship and to keep things together (i.e., shared experiences). There is no point blaming the other for not having all the evidence that are needed for "Clear and convincing evidence". Your wife can and will report you. Will she be successful in influencing USCIS decision? Probably. She is your wife. And if she has convincing evidence that may raise some doubts about your intention at the inception of this relationship, well expect to spend a lot in lawyer fees. And immigration lawyers are NOT cheap and when it comes to removal proceedings, they are extremely costly.

Good Luck.

I just feel if I have married someone of my background (mexican, etc) would have been a loyal husband without running away as a child.

Believe me, it's just your fate, race and culture have very little to do with it.

My degree is in the Information Technology field. I know a lot of people would say that this is such a good field and that is very well paid and so on. But in my particular case it has been hard because I have applied to several jobs and these require experience in the US and alot.

I really do not feel like applying to get that goverment assistance. I just see to many lies with these 'services' and too many corruption that I prefer to stay away from all of that.

The question about the i-864 was more about the feeling that my husband is legally responsible for supporting me so that I do not become a public charge to the goverment. With that form I just want to scream at him and his family that this is something he is legally responsible for under federal law....

IT job is still one of the highest paid jobs in the USA. You will do fairly well in Mexico. I know many people who work in IT fields in Mexico. In fact, I find them more jubiliant than many Americans working here in USA. I think they live in less stress and surrounded by family and friends.

I appreciate that you do not want Govt. assistance and why should you? I have gone through that route and, you are right, there are many scams and without becoming a citizen, you will not fair well there. And if you change states for job, chances are you will have to reapply for those benefits under that state's laws and you may not even qualify.

Honestly, I know screaming may relieve some of that frustration but, in the end, won't net you anything whatsoever. Losers will remain losers, winners will always prevail. Be a winner.

After 5 years as an LPR, you are allowed to receive means tested benefits such as welfare, food stamps and medicaid. Some states offer medicaid if you have less than 5 years, also some states if not all, offer food stamps to minor LPR children. Not to mention that you could still make 125% of the poverty level and qualify for food stamps and medicaid. If they really wanted people not to receive these things, they would make the poverty level 150%, I find it very peculiar that they only require 125%.

Sorry, but, the portion bolded is not true for all states. I can vouch that for Maryland. To qualify for Medicaid, you need to have SSI and to have SSI, you need to be a citizen. In MD, they do not give you any of these benefits except food stamps and CHIP without you being a citizen. Tried that myself, and have rejection letter from Social security.

Lot of times people refer to medicaid but, actually mean emergency medical assistance or emergency medicaid. Even the DSS folks refer to this relief as medicaid. Emergency medical assistance is not a mean tested benefit.

And to the moron who is advising the OP to seek benefits everywhere to get back at her STBX, go to hell. OP will land in more trouble than what she is in for. In most cases, she will not qualify and if they catch her lying on any of these papers and finds discrepancies anywhere, she will be in Govt. hell. Just get a divorce and move on. Life hands you a lemon, try to make a lemonade.

United States is the promised land. There are many countries in the world where many of those promises actually come true.

That said, let me address some of your issues..

1. I am just wondering if he legally is still responsible for have brought me to this country and not to become a public charge.
2. I also question myself applying to get US citizenship.

As to #1. He is responsible. But, what exactly is public charge? That means you receiving mean tested public benefits. Find me a state where you actually will receive most of those as an LPR. Most states will block you from receiving anything other than emergency medicaid as a non-citizen. You will, however, receive food stamps in some states. Maintaining you above 125% of poverty line as a man who himself is poor.. forgetaboutit.

As to #2, you should apply for U.S. Citizenship and possibly, find ways to maintain your Mexican citizenship.

You may find me BSing you, but, many of my U.S. Citizen colleagues now work in Mexico and enjoying Gooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooal.

but if she can actually in the long run become a citizen just through a year and 10 months of marraige, then how has this policy not been changed!? It seems like it would be too easy for internationals to fake love someone for two years, divorce and not even go through the interview phase after the temporary green card has been issued.

On I-751 form, USCIS lists primary evidences that are required for an immigrant to provide the proof of good faith marriage. You need to tell us if she has those items of proof.

You need to understand one thing: A judicial body can't come to a decision just on the basis of what you think happened or what your wife claims to be the truth. There is a standard of evidence that is required. Without that standard being met, there will be no decision in favor of anyone. Your wife can file multiple waivers and play the game as long as her money runs out or she gets residency. If you have hard proof that elaborates a pattern of fraudulent behavior, concrete evidence of fraud committed, send it to the local district director of USCIS via certified mail requesting signature confirmation.

Once divorce is settled, make an infopass appointment with USCIS, give them your divorce decree and your complaint that you had already sent to the distrcit director w/ signature copy that you received via mail.

All that is what you can do as far as fraud is concerned.

In regards to I-864, during divorce process wife can waive her rights to sue you for support. However, you will still be liable for Government expenses, if any. I'd try to get this settled during settlement conference. So, try to work this out if you want during divorce.

Although no one I know is a victim in this case, I do know the perpetrator. While I have not been in contact with him for well over 4 years now, he lived in my city and was stalking me and my home in the weeks and months before his arrest. I will feel more comfortable once this reaches closure.

File for criminal harassment for stalking you. Get a protective order although if someone wants to hurt you, he or she will do so unless there is divine intervention. No PO or charges will protect you other than giving you some solace.

Take all precautions that you can take to protect yourself and your family. Rest upto God.

It will be a long stretch because no name calling here or for that matter any personally identifiable information released here. It will be challenged by the OP in court and will probably be upheld. Facebook, Twitter and LinkedIn will be whole different ballgame though.

I am still interested to find out how the whole situation is actually possible in USA.

We sure remember OP's drama very well

See here and enjoy!

http://www.visajourney.com/forums/topic/478984-marriage-mess-and-cr-1/

#######

Only this expression came to my mind first after reading that thread. I am speechless. Did this really happen in the same country I live in?

Today he slapped her.

No one but the baby witnessed it, but they both have told others.

He didn't hit her hard, just a brush on the head.

what happens if she came here in good faith and he has slapped her?

Let me ask you to ask your friend this. If she was in her own country, what she'd do?

Next, if she is offended by this hitting or brushing or w/e she wants to call it, she needs to simply reconsider marriage options herself and take actions to uphold her own self esteem.

Last but, not the least, if "a brush on the head" is now becoming an issue to invoke VAWA provisions, husband tickling his wife or vice a versa can possibly be construed as aggravated second degree assault next. God forbid if tickling happened in the nether regions... aggravated sexual assault, spousal rape and what not. Seriously. people in this society need to get real.

I suppose her husband withdrew the petition very close to her interview date, so she was able to get the visa and enter the US before the withdrawal made it's way through the system.

Possibly, but, still the date of withdrawal of the petition will be registered in the system assuming that thing did not get lost in mail. Based on the title of this thread, I think, it's safe to assume that it did not get lost but, it is stuck somewhere in USCIS system.

I do not know the due process in this case, so I will refrain from commenting about what would happen with that withdrawal. But, I think OP is living here on an already issued visa that has no future of its own without some intervention from American jurisprudence. But, I may be wrong. Personally, I have never heard of a situation like this before.

You need to research before you file your waiver.

http://www.asistahelp.org/

Extreme cruelty must indicate an intent to control through psychological attacks and/or economic coercion which
also includes emotional abuse, humiliation, degradation, and isolation. A pattern of purposeful behavior, directed
at achieving compliance from or control over the victim must be demonstrated.

Marital tensions and incompatibilities which serve to place severe strains on a marriage, and in fact may be the
root of the marriage disintegration do not by themselves constitute extreme cruelty. The intent of VAW A did not
encompass the mental anguish generally associated with marital difficulties, infidelity, separation or abandonment.

There is no basis for divorce on the grounds of extreme cruelty in your case. However, your husband may claim that you constructively deserted him with false accuses and threats of bodily harm if you had decided to take your actions up a notch while you were together. By filing a false PO, you have given him a lot of reasons to leave you alone, or desert you (if you like to hear the term desertion). And, no, you have no claims for abuse waiver without solid proof of abuse and control. In your case, its a long shot unless you have an adjudicator who is high in the sky with Lucy and diamonds.

Going back to your subject line.. if your husband withdrew his I-130 application before you got admitted to the USA, how are you still here on a CR1? That will be my first question. As I stated in another thread.

Immigration and Naturalization Act, 8 CFR 103.2(b) 6 states, “An applicant or petitioner may withdraw an benefit request at any time until a decision is issued by USCIS or, in the case of an approved petition, until the person is admitted or granted adjustment or change of status, based on the petition. However, a withdrawal may not be retracted.”

Maybe someone more well versed with immigration laws can comment on your situation but, AFAIK, when your husband withdrew his support for your IR1/CR1 application before you got admitted to the USA legally, all associated forms including I-864 stand null and void. In that case, you will have to go before IJ and plea for residency. Can anyone shed any light on how this is even possible for an immigrant to be in the country on CR1 when petitioner had withdrawn the petition?

He beats me sometimes.

I stopped reading after this.

Call 911.

Ask them to take you to the commissioner to get a protective order against your husband or anyone who is taking part in this unlawful act.

Be cognizant of the fact that protective order is a two way street.

And then ask yourself.. what is important to you? A safe secure life or a life of illusive brightness?

Then decide if you want to stay in this country or find refuge elsewhere.

The more I read through the posts here, I can't help but wonder if the laws to protect the vulnerable are actually truly working to protect them or not.

More often than not, laws to protect domestic violence victims are used as a sword instead of a shield in my beloved country.

My college friend was burnt alive in her matrimonial home because she chose to work and go to a school before she wanted to become a parent.

My friend's sister was thrown out of the house and was gangraped by her husband's friends because she was socially inferior to them.

Yes, all that really happened and all these people's spirits weep silently still when they see a moron with a scratch that runs to the government to claim VAWA benefits or to get even with the spouse or an ex.

Please do not trivialize domestic violence.

Think about this.. if you are not safe at your own home, where will you be safe at?

In today's world the only two people who do not benefit from VAWA provisions in most cases are the real victims and falsely accused while everyone else gets their cut.

To all immigrants, if you were really treated badly (please by all means first read the statute of the law) by your spouse whom you loved and left everything to get a better life here in U.S.A., please do seek abuse waiver towards your own pursuit of happiness; the rest of you posers, get the #### out of my country and stop clogging the justice system with your bullshit.

We need honest productive people who will take this country forward without burdening the taxpayers even more.

Stop contributing towards domestic violence industry, help upholding the law.