sidccc

hey, OP here, someone said it was strange that i had not replied... sorry, about that. i have emailed a few individual posters and will continue... obviously some of these comments are off topic but mostly i want to thank everyone for their input. this forum and reading through everything is actually very helpful. it's cathartic and therapeutic to detail some things out and listen to what people have to say... so thanks to all of you and thanks to VJ for this forum
i've used this forum a few times to gauge visa times and i never really posted about our own, so i'll at least provide that if it's helpful for anyone. first, of course this is NY and russia, our NOA1 was 4.28.14, NOA2 was 9.12.14. she had her interview at the moscow embassy on 11.5.14. we went through the texas facility and then it was transferred to the california facility some months later... the NOA2 came quickly after that transfer
i think i noted before, she was approved but needed to fix her police report doc for some error, which she had to get from her hometown and was to take about a month to do that... as we all know, that's a mute point as this thing is over
i mentioned money before and i want to kind of be clear... most of that was for the vacations, it's not like i was sending her thousands of dollars every month. i sent her about 7k in cash over the last year, then i paid all visa related costs, etc, and the rest was taking trips. just to put that in perspective
i've heard a lot about no self respecting women would take that money... to be honest, i'm not sure about that, though i do think she was a bit selfish. she didn't really sacrifice anything during this process. but i can take some blame for enabling her. i don't know, i'd like to hear more about what people think about the taking of money or accepting vacation offers, etc. this idea i think you can't necessarily assume unless you know everything. but i agree that she probably asked for more that she should have and did not do enough herself to help or take care of herself
also, i think it is quite true that she was scared of making this kind of move... and towards the end i was not as supportive emotionally as i could've been. there's a lot more to that probably, to be honest i can go on and on for a while on all kinds of topics. but it was a long journey, and it's not easy to have an LTR in the first place. but the bottom line i think is that regardless of how she thought about my feelings towards her, or her doubts, etc, to the very end i was supporting her financially and obviously paying for the visa costs. at the end she had to pay the app fee and medical exam, and whatever, so as little as two months ago i was paying 1k for that stuff... and more for other things she may have needed.
either way, my issue mainly i think at this point is how it ended. if she was having doubts or was concerned or scared enough to make this decision, she should have talked to me specifically about those feelings. she sent a text to tell me her decision, and after that decision was made, it was like i never existed. that might be a bit overdramatic, but someone on here said russian women end relationships with a hatchet... well that's definitely what it feels like. like i made this decision and now eff off, it's not as bad as all that but it's obvious, as most of you have said, that she's moved on. maybe with someone else, maybe not... it's quite possible that she met someone though i would not think it serious at this point, but may have impacted her decision... who knows
that's what is hard. she was a major part of my life for a long time, and relevant or not, i invested a lot in this relationship, in time, stress, money, etc
i don't know what else to think about it... i'm trying to figure out what went wrong. was it me? was it her? both? whatever...
anyway, again, thanks to all for your posts, and i'm happy to continue if anyone has specific questions or whatever. it's helpful for me... so thanks

hey, OP here, someone said it was strange that i had not replied... sorry, about that. i have emailed a few individual posters and will continue... obviously some of these comments are off topic but mostly i want to thank everyone for their input. this forum and reading through everything is actually very helpful. it's cathartic and therapeutic to detail some things out and listen to what people have to say... so thanks to all of you and thanks to VJ for this forum
i've used this forum a few times to gauge visa times and i never really posted about our own, so i'll at least provide that if it's helpful for anyone. first, of course this is NY and russia, our NOA1 was 4.28.14, NOA2 was 9.12.14. she had her interview at the moscow embassy on 11.5.14. we went through the texas facility and then it was transferred to the california facility some months later... the NOA2 came quickly after that transfer
i think i noted before, she was approved but needed to fix her police report doc for some error, which she had to get from her hometown and was to take about a month to do that... as we all know, that's a mute point as this thing is over
i mentioned money before and i want to kind of be clear... most of that was for the vacations, it's not like i was sending her thousands of dollars every month. i sent her about 7k in cash over the last year, then i paid all visa related costs, etc, and the rest was taking trips. just to put that in perspective
i've heard a lot about no self respecting women would take that money... to be honest, i'm not sure about that, though i do think she was a bit selfish. she didn't really sacrifice anything during this process. but i can take some blame for enabling her. i don't know, i'd like to hear more about what people think about the taking of money or accepting vacation offers, etc. this idea i think you can't necessarily assume unless you know everything. but i agree that she probably asked for more that she should have and did not do enough herself to help or take care of herself
also, i think it is quite true that she was scared of making this kind of move... and towards the end i was not as supportive emotionally as i could've been. there's a lot more to that probably, to be honest i can go on and on for a while on all kinds of topics. but it was a long journey, and it's not easy to have an LTR in the first place. but the bottom line i think is that regardless of how she thought about my feelings towards her, or her doubts, etc, to the very end i was supporting her financially and obviously paying for the visa costs. at the end she had to pay the app fee and medical exam, and whatever, so as little as two months ago i was paying 1k for that stuff... and more for other things she may have needed.
either way, my issue mainly i think at this point is how it ended. if she was having doubts or was concerned or scared enough to make this decision, she should have talked to me specifically about those feelings. she sent a text to tell me her decision, and after that decision was made, it was like i never existed. that might be a bit overdramatic, but someone on here said russian women end relationships with a hatchet... well that's definitely what it feels like. like i made this decision and now eff off, it's not as bad as all that but it's obvious, as most of you have said, that she's moved on. maybe with someone else, maybe not... it's quite possible that she met someone though i would not think it serious at this point, but may have impacted her decision... who knows
that's what is hard. she was a major part of my life for a long time, and relevant or not, i invested a lot in this relationship, in time, stress, money, etc
i don't know what else to think about it... i'm trying to figure out what went wrong. was it me? was it her? both? whatever...
anyway, again, thanks to all for your posts, and i'm happy to continue if anyone has specific questions or whatever. it's helpful for me... so thanks

hey, OP here, someone said it was strange that i had not replied... sorry, about that. i have emailed a few individual posters and will continue... obviously some of these comments are off topic but mostly i want to thank everyone for their input. this forum and reading through everything is actually very helpful. it's cathartic and therapeutic to detail some things out and listen to what people have to say... so thanks to all of you and thanks to VJ for this forum
i've used this forum a few times to gauge visa times and i never really posted about our own, so i'll at least provide that if it's helpful for anyone. first, of course this is NY and russia, our NOA1 was 4.28.14, NOA2 was 9.12.14. she had her interview at the moscow embassy on 11.5.14. we went through the texas facility and then it was transferred to the california facility some months later... the NOA2 came quickly after that transfer
i think i noted before, she was approved but needed to fix her police report doc for some error, which she had to get from her hometown and was to take about a month to do that... as we all know, that's a mute point as this thing is over
i mentioned money before and i want to kind of be clear... most of that was for the vacations, it's not like i was sending her thousands of dollars every month. i sent her about 7k in cash over the last year, then i paid all visa related costs, etc, and the rest was taking trips. just to put that in perspective
i've heard a lot about no self respecting women would take that money... to be honest, i'm not sure about that, though i do think she was a bit selfish. she didn't really sacrifice anything during this process. but i can take some blame for enabling her. i don't know, i'd like to hear more about what people think about the taking of money or accepting vacation offers, etc. this idea i think you can't necessarily assume unless you know everything. but i agree that she probably asked for more that she should have and did not do enough herself to help or take care of herself
also, i think it is quite true that she was scared of making this kind of move... and towards the end i was not as supportive emotionally as i could've been. there's a lot more to that probably, to be honest i can go on and on for a while on all kinds of topics. but it was a long journey, and it's not easy to have an LTR in the first place. but the bottom line i think is that regardless of how she thought about my feelings towards her, or her doubts, etc, to the very end i was supporting her financially and obviously paying for the visa costs. at the end she had to pay the app fee and medical exam, and whatever, so as little as two months ago i was paying 1k for that stuff... and more for other things she may have needed.
either way, my issue mainly i think at this point is how it ended. if she was having doubts or was concerned or scared enough to make this decision, she should have talked to me specifically about those feelings. she sent a text to tell me her decision, and after that decision was made, it was like i never existed. that might be a bit overdramatic, but someone on here said russian women end relationships with a hatchet... well that's definitely what it feels like. like i made this decision and now eff off, it's not as bad as all that but it's obvious, as most of you have said, that she's moved on. maybe with someone else, maybe not... it's quite possible that she met someone though i would not think it serious at this point, but may have impacted her decision... who knows
that's what is hard. she was a major part of my life for a long time, and relevant or not, i invested a lot in this relationship, in time, stress, money, etc
i don't know what else to think about it... i'm trying to figure out what went wrong. was it me? was it her? both? whatever...
anyway, again, thanks to all for your posts, and i'm happy to continue if anyone has specific questions or whatever. it's helpful for me... so thanks

hey, OP here, someone said it was strange that i had not replied... sorry, about that. i have emailed a few individual posters and will continue... obviously some of these comments are off topic but mostly i want to thank everyone for their input. this forum and reading through everything is actually very helpful. it's cathartic and therapeutic to detail some things out and listen to what people have to say... so thanks to all of you and thanks to VJ for this forum
i've used this forum a few times to gauge visa times and i never really posted about our own, so i'll at least provide that if it's helpful for anyone. first, of course this is NY and russia, our NOA1 was 4.28.14, NOA2 was 9.12.14. she had her interview at the moscow embassy on 11.5.14. we went through the texas facility and then it was transferred to the california facility some months later... the NOA2 came quickly after that transfer
i think i noted before, she was approved but needed to fix her police report doc for some error, which she had to get from her hometown and was to take about a month to do that... as we all know, that's a mute point as this thing is over
i mentioned money before and i want to kind of be clear... most of that was for the vacations, it's not like i was sending her thousands of dollars every month. i sent her about 7k in cash over the last year, then i paid all visa related costs, etc, and the rest was taking trips. just to put that in perspective
i've heard a lot about no self respecting women would take that money... to be honest, i'm not sure about that, though i do think she was a bit selfish. she didn't really sacrifice anything during this process. but i can take some blame for enabling her. i don't know, i'd like to hear more about what people think about the taking of money or accepting vacation offers, etc. this idea i think you can't necessarily assume unless you know everything. but i agree that she probably asked for more that she should have and did not do enough herself to help or take care of herself
also, i think it is quite true that she was scared of making this kind of move... and towards the end i was not as supportive emotionally as i could've been. there's a lot more to that probably, to be honest i can go on and on for a while on all kinds of topics. but it was a long journey, and it's not easy to have an LTR in the first place. but the bottom line i think is that regardless of how she thought about my feelings towards her, or her doubts, etc, to the very end i was supporting her financially and obviously paying for the visa costs. at the end she had to pay the app fee and medical exam, and whatever, so as little as two months ago i was paying 1k for that stuff... and more for other things she may have needed.
either way, my issue mainly i think at this point is how it ended. if she was having doubts or was concerned or scared enough to make this decision, she should have talked to me specifically about those feelings. she sent a text to tell me her decision, and after that decision was made, it was like i never existed. that might be a bit overdramatic, but someone on here said russian women end relationships with a hatchet... well that's definitely what it feels like. like i made this decision and now eff off, it's not as bad as all that but it's obvious, as most of you have said, that she's moved on. maybe with someone else, maybe not... it's quite possible that she met someone though i would not think it serious at this point, but may have impacted her decision... who knows
that's what is hard. she was a major part of my life for a long time, and relevant or not, i invested a lot in this relationship, in time, stress, money, etc
i don't know what else to think about it... i'm trying to figure out what went wrong. was it me? was it her? both? whatever...
anyway, again, thanks to all for your posts, and i'm happy to continue if anyone has specific questions or whatever. it's helpful for me... so thanks

hey, OP here, someone said it was strange that i had not replied... sorry, about that. i have emailed a few individual posters and will continue... obviously some of these comments are off topic but mostly i want to thank everyone for their input. this forum and reading through everything is actually very helpful. it's cathartic and therapeutic to detail some things out and listen to what people have to say... so thanks to all of you and thanks to VJ for this forum
i've used this forum a few times to gauge visa times and i never really posted about our own, so i'll at least provide that if it's helpful for anyone. first, of course this is NY and russia, our NOA1 was 4.28.14, NOA2 was 9.12.14. she had her interview at the moscow embassy on 11.5.14. we went through the texas facility and then it was transferred to the california facility some months later... the NOA2 came quickly after that transfer
i think i noted before, she was approved but needed to fix her police report doc for some error, which she had to get from her hometown and was to take about a month to do that... as we all know, that's a mute point as this thing is over
i mentioned money before and i want to kind of be clear... most of that was for the vacations, it's not like i was sending her thousands of dollars every month. i sent her about 7k in cash over the last year, then i paid all visa related costs, etc, and the rest was taking trips. just to put that in perspective
i've heard a lot about no self respecting women would take that money... to be honest, i'm not sure about that, though i do think she was a bit selfish. she didn't really sacrifice anything during this process. but i can take some blame for enabling her. i don't know, i'd like to hear more about what people think about the taking of money or accepting vacation offers, etc. this idea i think you can't necessarily assume unless you know everything. but i agree that she probably asked for more that she should have and did not do enough herself to help or take care of herself
also, i think it is quite true that she was scared of making this kind of move... and towards the end i was not as supportive emotionally as i could've been. there's a lot more to that probably, to be honest i can go on and on for a while on all kinds of topics. but it was a long journey, and it's not easy to have an LTR in the first place. but the bottom line i think is that regardless of how she thought about my feelings towards her, or her doubts, etc, to the very end i was supporting her financially and obviously paying for the visa costs. at the end she had to pay the app fee and medical exam, and whatever, so as little as two months ago i was paying 1k for that stuff... and more for other things she may have needed.
either way, my issue mainly i think at this point is how it ended. if she was having doubts or was concerned or scared enough to make this decision, she should have talked to me specifically about those feelings. she sent a text to tell me her decision, and after that decision was made, it was like i never existed. that might be a bit overdramatic, but someone on here said russian women end relationships with a hatchet... well that's definitely what it feels like. like i made this decision and now eff off, it's not as bad as all that but it's obvious, as most of you have said, that she's moved on. maybe with someone else, maybe not... it's quite possible that she met someone though i would not think it serious at this point, but may have impacted her decision... who knows
that's what is hard. she was a major part of my life for a long time, and relevant or not, i invested a lot in this relationship, in time, stress, money, etc
i don't know what else to think about it... i'm trying to figure out what went wrong. was it me? was it her? both? whatever...
anyway, again, thanks to all for your posts, and i'm happy to continue if anyone has specific questions or whatever. it's helpful for me... so thanks

hey, OP here, someone said it was strange that i had not replied... sorry, about that. i have emailed a few individual posters and will continue... obviously some of these comments are off topic but mostly i want to thank everyone for their input. this forum and reading through everything is actually very helpful. it's cathartic and therapeutic to detail some things out and listen to what people have to say... so thanks to all of you and thanks to VJ for this forum
i've used this forum a few times to gauge visa times and i never really posted about our own, so i'll at least provide that if it's helpful for anyone. first, of course this is NY and russia, our NOA1 was 4.28.14, NOA2 was 9.12.14. she had her interview at the moscow embassy on 11.5.14. we went through the texas facility and then it was transferred to the california facility some months later... the NOA2 came quickly after that transfer
i think i noted before, she was approved but needed to fix her police report doc for some error, which she had to get from her hometown and was to take about a month to do that... as we all know, that's a mute point as this thing is over
i mentioned money before and i want to kind of be clear... most of that was for the vacations, it's not like i was sending her thousands of dollars every month. i sent her about 7k in cash over the last year, then i paid all visa related costs, etc, and the rest was taking trips. just to put that in perspective
i've heard a lot about no self respecting women would take that money... to be honest, i'm not sure about that, though i do think she was a bit selfish. she didn't really sacrifice anything during this process. but i can take some blame for enabling her. i don't know, i'd like to hear more about what people think about the taking of money or accepting vacation offers, etc. this idea i think you can't necessarily assume unless you know everything. but i agree that she probably asked for more that she should have and did not do enough herself to help or take care of herself
also, i think it is quite true that she was scared of making this kind of move... and towards the end i was not as supportive emotionally as i could've been. there's a lot more to that probably, to be honest i can go on and on for a while on all kinds of topics. but it was a long journey, and it's not easy to have an LTR in the first place. but the bottom line i think is that regardless of how she thought about my feelings towards her, or her doubts, etc, to the very end i was supporting her financially and obviously paying for the visa costs. at the end she had to pay the app fee and medical exam, and whatever, so as little as two months ago i was paying 1k for that stuff... and more for other things she may have needed.
either way, my issue mainly i think at this point is how it ended. if she was having doubts or was concerned or scared enough to make this decision, she should have talked to me specifically about those feelings. she sent a text to tell me her decision, and after that decision was made, it was like i never existed. that might be a bit overdramatic, but someone on here said russian women end relationships with a hatchet... well that's definitely what it feels like. like i made this decision and now eff off, it's not as bad as all that but it's obvious, as most of you have said, that she's moved on. maybe with someone else, maybe not... it's quite possible that she met someone though i would not think it serious at this point, but may have impacted her decision... who knows
that's what is hard. she was a major part of my life for a long time, and relevant or not, i invested a lot in this relationship, in time, stress, money, etc
i don't know what else to think about it... i'm trying to figure out what went wrong. was it me? was it her? both? whatever...
anyway, again, thanks to all for your posts, and i'm happy to continue if anyone has specific questions or whatever. it's helpful for me... so thanks