Kolewenoik31

6 minutes ago, Georgia16 said:

This irritate me a bit to be honest! .... We are immigrating to the country where our spouse lives this does not mean we are not human being that should not be treated right and also have rights and just be sent away as people like we have no rights. This is not a ownership visa of any kind.

 Like why would you even say that (the highlighted) 

READ before you comment. It was self explanatory

4 hours ago, Loki_Go said:

I'm sorry you went through this with someone like that. I went through something similar and I found people aren't very kind or empathetic when you're at your lowest. You really need to be strong and learn to help yourself. I'm sure you now this but you mentione he still sends you texts- the only thing you can do to further your healing is to go No Contact. That will make it hard for him to sweet talk the evidence he needs from you when he realizes he needs it. Don't give in. Go No Contact.

 

Again I'm so sorry. A person like that can really mess your head up. It took me almost a year and months of therapy to finally find myself again. I wish you the best.

 

1 hour ago, 2far said:

I am really sorry to see this update.  It sounds like you have been through so much drama and negativity.  I hope that you find peace in the near future.

 

Since he already has a 2-year green card, he does not need to file an I-360.  As others have stated he can file for the ROC on his own and probably already has since his GC is expiring within days.  You did a good thing by reporting your findings via an Infopass appointment.  If you have made it clear to USCIS that you do not support a joint filing of the ROC as your marriage is not in tact, then that is all that you can do.  He can seek to complete the ROC process with the divorce waiver, but it looks like he has very minimal evidence.

 

Try to find comfort in your friends and family.  The healing process may be long and unpleasant.  I wish you the very best.

Thank you ever so much.....my heart is in so much pain and yes my head is messed up. No one knows what I have been through and is going through accept those that have been there. I appreciate your empathy both of you! I won't pay for anything else not even a divorce. I'm tired and broke now. I have to rebuild what was taken. What makes it so bad is he used his influence in the church to gain my heart and I told him that if he didn't love me or was committed just leave me because I could only marry one more time. He knew all along that he had a agenda. And yes even know he's playing mind games even accusing me of wanting my ex. If he wants a divorce to ROC let him pay for it and gather any evidence that he needs. But I pray that the evidence that I gave will be enough to stop him. He left and says he's going home. So hopefully he will! Any other docs he needs good luck getting them. I will never stop exposing who he is, I don't want anyone else hurting the way I am right now by him. Sorry!

Look I wasn't going to address the NPD thing but I will this once. I DON'T LOOSELY THROW AROUND ANYTHING I know what hell I went through including all the counseling sessions that we attended. He has it! Now as far as me reporting him, I did and that is my right whether it's considered abuse or not, so be it. He used me, stole from me, and so many other people including ministries. Large sums of money not chump change. He diverted funds, scammed, lied. He is a monster, sinister. He told me he loves hurting people and taking their money because he's entitled to it because God said so he's a sick man. He is posing as a evangelist, using an orphanage as a way to funnel money. There are so many other things I could say but I will rest there. I even have a signed paper saying he only did it for immigration benefits. So please don't make him out to be a victim. Anyone that has been in a relationship with some one with NPD knows that 1. you don't need no doctor to diagnose it, nor 2. need to use it loosely. Why would I pay so much money, spend so many of my years and the years of my children opening up my heart, loving some one, supporting someone, just to abuse them. We in America have given these people to much freedom to cry abuse after they get here. We have paved a way for them to take advantage of us then the only consolation that we tell our fellow US citizen is divorce and move on?!?!? He stole my life and the life of my children. It's not that easy when you have strong biblical principles and marry til death. I know I might be the only Christian that still believes in the bible to the letter but I do so divorce is not an easy opt for me. He committed a crime. Have we forgot that the i864 I'm still on the hook for? Or the fact that the i130 is for the purpose of marrying a US citizen not for immigration but because of love this is not just a breakdown in marriage these are people who are targeting tenderhearted good people for the sake of selfish gain. Why are we allowing immigrants who don't obey the law of immigration to remain here. My paperwork like everyone else says......in order to be and LPR you have to have entered a marriage on "good faith," then it lists the items to be filed to show it. If a person has only been here xyz amount of months or years why do they have the ability to file anything? Why do they have any rights? Why are we shut out of the process to see their end? You didn't follow the rules. If I have a job description and I don't fulfill it, I get fired. So should be with filing to be a LPR. You violate....go home. I'm sorry but it's not fair!

7 hours ago, Georgia16 said:

ROC is taking about a year. Evidence that the marriage was real. Bank statements, credit cards, medical insurance, car insurance, power of will, bills, pictures, and so on everything that can show both names that you lived together as husband and wife.

Well he doesn't have any of that. I tried to get him to to co mingle all that stuff for immigration long time ago when he first entered the US but probably now I see it was a blessing in disguise because he's been gone from my home 3 months now. So now he will have to gather some other way of getting his 10 yr. I won't be filing anything at this point and his GC expires Sat. 

2 minutes ago, Georgia16 said:

Well he can send it in and it takes about a year to get moving now so by the interview he will get a RFE for divorce or denied since you aren't there.

Well in our state you can't get divorced for 90 days. The i360 is taking a year to get moving? What supporting evidence will he have to support them granting him a 10 yr GC?

12 minutes ago, Georgia16 said:

He can file ROC on his own and he may already have done that without you knowing. He will file with a divorce waiver and he will have to show proof on a bona fide marriage if he has nothing then this might be very hard for him.

 

But really I know you don't want to hear this but there is really nothing you can do so try not to make all your time about him and this because it will take ALL of your energy for nothing. I wish you good luck.

There is no divorce, we are still married. We haven't spoken in months and he will send an occasional text asking me if I am ok or wishing me well. It's not that I don't want to hear this I already know a lot and the end. What to do is kind of a rhetorical question. I was just wanting to hear from the latest news and from different people that have gone through this before.

Well it's 3yrs down the line and I have asked this question from a couple people, but I guess my mind won't be at peace until a few more years have past and the full reality has settled in. I know many told me but I had hoped for the best. I found out that my husband has Narcissistic Personality Disorder {NPD}. All those years I knew something wasn't right but just couldn't put my finger on it. I had to put his cloths to the door in Nov. and let him make his choice. He didn't put up one fight to stay, it was if he had a plan already. I found homeless shelter numbers in his phone weeks before I decided to pack him up and put his things to the door. Because of all the chaos going on I initially thought he had them just in case we had to move from our house again. But it looks like if given the time he would have moved anyway. He snuck around so much behind my back, he lied, stole large sums of money from a ministry in Norway that he was to use for printing religious books. It was exhausting. I found a text message that was sent to baby's mama that said he loved, missed her and hoped to see her soon. He lied and said she was suing him 4 child support and he wanted to cool her down so he flattered her with that text. He complained about everything, he hates America and will go home. He has a job in our small town and has told people in our church that he is saving to go home. But I do have some questions and please be sensitive because I am in a healing process and can't take a lot of criticism. 1. His 2 year conditional green card will expire on the 25th, I know some have said he can file VAWA and ROC. But what are the chances in a weeks time? I have seen even where he has contacted a immigration agency that help people file. I know i360 says the person need a marriage or birth certificate. He doesn't have any of that I literally have everything in my possession. 2. In Dec. I made a info pass appt. and showed evidence where he was getting money from people and sending it to a bank account then rerouting it to this lady. Now yes he was to print religious books with it but he didn't. We had also got into a argument in 2015 and he in anger said he was done with me and only wanted to keep his immigration benefits and that it was all for that. I asked him to write that and sign it. He told me to write it and he will sign it so I did. I took that to them as well. I provided emails where he would pretend that this lady was his wife just to get money for some orphanage. A man even called to tell me that he met this lady and their child. I knew he was in a previous relationship but he convinced me that it was over, now years later she is still somewhat in the picture. I took them a stack of info on various things even him being on dating sites. Can I get any update from USCIS? I know they probably won't tell me anything. What should I do at this point....besides move on?     

What you've described in your husband's behavior are the exact definitions of a narcissist/sociopath. They do have split personalities. They start with the nice & loving personality to manipulate people into doing what they want, then when the victim catches on and stops giving in, out comes the evil twin. They can flip it on & off like a light switch. There is no cure for sociopathy/narcissism, it is a mental disorder and no amount of counseling will ever change it. The best thing anyone can do when they realize they are the victim of a sociopath is to get as far away from that person as soon as you can. It is hard to let go of someone you love, but you need to take care of yourself and your children first and foremost.

Good luck to you.

Correction NPD or Narcs, it is not mental illness, It is a personality disorder. Yes it's sociopathic in nature but it comes from the way a child was socialized as a child. There is no pill cure, it is very, very hard to treat. If the person is in denial and unwilling there is no cure but if they are willing then there is a treatment that has been effective it's Psychotheraphy. But this is no light thing that a non professional can help with. I agree getting far away as possible is best.

Good morning. I have a question please. My fiancé just paid $490 USD for his medical exam fee & vaccinations at the IOM in Nairobi. That cost seems exorbitant! Has anyone else paid that much?

Yes they can be that high my husband's were around $300 but he got some shots from his local village and they only gave him the flu shot {to make some money}, at IOM.

Hey everybody it's been so long that I have checked in. Well I can say it was a loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooong roooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooough adjustment for my hubby. I think I may have had one of the worse cases but through prayer and much more prayer we have made it this far. We are coming up for our 10 yr. I want to encourage someone that with God all things are possible when we counsel with him about this marriage relationship. I know many are and have been scammed, my heart goes out to you all. I felt that once! Today we still have rough patches because we are from different everything but I can say that God is the elastic in the middle. If there is someway I can assist anyone, even if it's to bring comfort or advise on our testimony please feel free to let me know a PM is ok. I will try to continue updating everyone as the years go by.

This question may have been asked but I haven't been on in a while. I saw about 2-3 months ago that the filing fee for ROC was proposed to go up. So what is the current accurate fee's? This is what I have found and want to know if it is right. Application fee $180, USCIS fee $505, Biometric $85 Thank you!

Here is the info.

http://www.fns.usda.gov/sites/default/files/Non-Citizen_Guidance_063011.pdf

Expat1,

You are still missing my point.

I know what the contract says and I never said he couldn't.

You said "he is with his right to inform" OP .Unless I'm missing something there.

But that's what I asked you for. Where does it say the LPR or alien spouse has "right to inform" her?

That was my question.

You are been evasive because you know there is no such thing as "right to inform".

What his demands were and if it was a threat could constitute blackmail.

But for a blackmail to charged against the ex, OP needs more statements that constitute illegal acts. But the affidavit of support will still be enforceble by law.

How is he under the "federal program"?

I don't understand..maybe you can explain more.

Ok here it is....there are two SNAP programs.. 1. County funded 2. Federal funded under the Federally funded program they will qualify them where they can receive those benefits. All he has to do is go apply. They will look up the laws and add him especially if he is living under the roof of an American who receives them. How do you think all these un documented aliens are getting them? The county receives so much grant money all he needs is a SSN number or Alien registration number. He can even use his green card, all is legal. As I said I called USCIS and they even confirmed and read off of their computer the fact that only if the govt. agencies sue 9 out of 10 changes they won't, they don't.

OP's husband is not qualified for food stamps..it is for citizens or alien children under 18, assylum seekers, refugees, etc.

Ahhhh oh yes he is under the federal program SNAP....he is qualified. I know first hand. I was supersized as well but the county workers will give it to him if he applies. Also I called with interest to USCIS and the rep told me that as long as the agencies don't sue....they can receive public assistance of any kind.

I don't want to sound like a parrot but I will say that yes he can apply and probably will be approved. These county workers go out of their way to find the exact Snap {federally funded, not county funded}, benefits that they can just to be able to get them approved. Same with cash aid they will push and push even if you tell them that immigration says the immigrant is not to be a public charge.

I mean if you state you are going through financial difficulties and you need your partner to help you. Wouldn't that do more harm than good since I as the petitioner need to be able to support the beneficiary financially?

Thanks for your help!

No, to request an expedite on the bases of you the petitioner needing help will not hurt. But it won't guarantee an expedite approval. Those approvals have to be more than just for financial reasons because they feel you have been doing it on your own all this time. If you go to the website it will give you a list. Humanitarian is one of those things. Mine was approve based on the instability of the countries safety but I had proof from the Embassy that terrorists threats were a big issue. Hope that helps

Nope no issue at all.

Yes, but filing 90 days before 3 years as a LPR & filing 90 days before being married to a USC for 3 years are TWO different things. The first is allowed, the second is NOT.

I really don't know where you are getting hung up at all the OP wants to know is how soon he can file for naturalization for his wife.

The 5 years rule is very clear but the 3 years rule with US Citizen living together for the past 3years is not clear

Where did you read this from ?

INS is very confusing sometimes

Here is the link https://www.uscis.gov/n-400 Click on instructions and then scroll down to the black bold print it's right there.

Ok I think this is clear look on the instructions sheet of the N-400 under early filing. It says that you can file up to 90 days before meeting the required 3 year continuous residence as an LPR. Although an applicant may file early according to the 90 day early filing provision, the applicant is not eligible for naturalization until he or she has reached the required 3 or 5 year period of continuous residence as a LPR. So to confirm for the final time after rereading, you can file early or should I say your wife can file early but she doesn't become eligible until the full 3 yrs has been met. I also believe that anytime outside the country may delay the 3 yrs as well. So it must be 3 years of living together.

Yea, i see that on their website too but they create a conflict where they say you can file 90 days before 3 years of LPR anniversary

Yeah it could be just like the ROC procedure, it's 90 prior to the GC expiry to. I believe those 90 days are early just for the sake of processing. I would say file as early in that 90 window as possible. Not earlier than that time because all they will do is send your app back. Besides you know they have to create conflict just so they can RFE us and that gives them more time to drink their coffee. lol lol lol and take breaks!

We got married on 3/15/2012

I can send it the last week of April 2016 but i need to confirm the 3 years of living together ,,does someone have an answer to this ?

Living with your spouse for 3 years before filing the application is what it says.

Answers above.

I remember your story and unfortunately I always thought this man was using your faith to con you. You didn't like my opinion. The truth of the matter is that regardless of my opinion, it will prove extremely difficult for him to ROC. I believe it was advised before he left the country that this did not bode well for his future here. The fact that he didn't get on the airplane to be with his wife that he hasn't seen in 4 months is pretty telling of his character.

In order to successfully ROC you will need to prove co-mingled finances since the beginning of your marriage. In the long run, it may be best for you if he doesn't raise the funds to purchase another ticket.

Thank you, thank you, a million times thank you. I know you remember me It's not like I didn't like your opinion it's just that I believe in a greater power. My faith is bigger than man's opinion. My God sits high and looks low and He will repay anyone that seeks to do evil even if it is my dear husband. No weapons formed against me shall prosper! I praise God that He is working things out not as I would like but as according to His will and I am at peace with whichever way it turns out. So my dear husband is not using my faith to con me. We are from the same church. God will give every man his just reward.

But you see, people aren't ignoring your questions, the 'comments' you didn't ask for are part and parcel of the problems you will face. His inability to feel comfortable here has delayed him, and the longer he stays away the harder is ROC is going to be, if he's allowed to do it at all. I'm sorry about his mother and her stroke, and about his busy speaking engagements, but you both need to understand the USCIS doesn't care about any of that. He came here to be an LPR, and needs to be here, and he is not. That is all they care about. He needs to return, and on the double.

One thing I've noticed aout people who pose questions on VJ. When they get the answers to their questions, and they don't like what they are reading, there is a tendancy to get all huffy about it. Don't be that person. People are geniunely trying to help yolu.

I'm sorry if you feel I wasn't responding right or that I may get huffy. I'm not trying to be that way. I just wanted answers. I have no problem with other side comments, AFTER I get the answers that I am posting about. Now I have them so all good. One other thing I came here because my friends that I have who's husband's have ROC'd couldn't answer so they pointed me back to VJ. Then I come here and get a lot of other comments so I was back to square one which is, who can give me the right answers? I was tired of going back and forth, and again I do understand USCIS position on the purpose for him being here. Thank you all again!

Thank you for all your comments. I understand them but all I'm asking 4 is answers 2 my few questions. Whether or not it looks like he wants to be here with me or communication issues, blah blah blah. I'm only looking at if he can't get back sooner than later how this will effect ROC. My husband's mom had a stroke, he is a evangelist so he had speaking engagements that also delayed his time til the 29th. But again this wasn't to put all our business out there just 2 get some few answers just in case. He's working hard on returning. We are aware that time is crucial that's why I posted. One thing that I have noticed with some post is when someone ask a question to much other outside comments are given but the very questions seem to get overlooked. That's why I said only comment if you know the answer. So please only those that really know the answers comment.