Steven-n-Gladys

If she's the one for you and you'd never leave her and will worship her forever...then why even bother?

Unless, you have doubts?

Hmmmm...thats a little naive...you ever been married?...There is no certainties in life...and i would be more afraid of her leaving me than me leaving her....it aint about that...

How one can fully understand anyone in such a short amount of time is beyond me. Not discussing important things is not-a good personality trait to have, IMO.

Wow!...you think thats they only time I have spent with her?....Known her alot longer then that...

I talked about it a few times with my fiance, she has no issues with a pre-nup. I'm a realist and know that things can change over the years and don't want to be put in a spot where I can't take care of my kids in the future.

As for the American woman comment, my ex-wife is American and she was very reasonable when we divorced. She could've really hurt me financialy had she wanted.

Bingo!

I just spent twenty wonderful days with her in her hometown and in Manila so she can find work now....I love her alot...Im understanding more its a cultural thing maybe more than anything else...except the refusing to discuss it..thats not cultural.Haha,thats personality!

That was a little insensitive. I don't know any American women who've screwed their husbands out of money, in fact I have only seen the opposite.

I guess us American women are just all money grubbers out to swindle out ex-husbands. *rolls eyes*

Yeah my exwife didnt screw me..she and I were both fair with each other...it aint about that....

My two cents. If you have deep pockets, and a lot to lose, I would go with a prenup. If you have little in the way of assets, then its a toss up. She should understand that a prenup can actually protect her in that you can write out a specific set of circumstances that gives her financial stability. As an example..going the distance here, Donald Trump with no prenup would have lost half his fortune. With a prenup only about 50 million.If she does not even want to listen, then I would consider thinking about what your future may hold.

I tried to explain that to her...that it isnt just for me,she can protect herself as well.i told her it is mutual contract.and also reduces the bickering that happens with divorce,its like a permarital postdivorce peacemaker thats like insurance,hopefully you never need it.

Yea its an interesting subject. I think it can be offensive to someone because it

a) shows your making preparations in the event it doesnt work out and so showing pessimism towards the marriage and/or person before its even started

b) Suggests you may be testing them to see if they still want to marry you knowing they could walk away with nothing.

On the other hand I totally get the rational side of a prenup where so many marriages end in divorce nowadays ANYTHING could happen, even if you think shes gods gift on earth someone may be unfaithful 10 years down the line or other circumstances we cant imagine.

Also if she loved u that much why would it even matter whether theres a prenup or not.

I kinda get both sides of this. Though Im sure for a Filipina theres some cultural offense to be taken at the idea of a prenup too. Maybe someone from this culture can come along and provide insight in this. Personally if my fiancee asked me for a prenup my first thought would be that he doesnt trust me. Even though I know he does, it just kind of annoys me and we'd need to seriously discuss this.

It's not untrusting of me...but i am not naive either....its not all rainbows,ponies and and sugar plums even in the best of marriages.I get her reaction (she thinks I dont trust her)I believe marriage is for life....yet Im divorced once allready(not my choice either).I see both sides too..my side and her side.I just dont get the reaction and the refusal to talk about it...ahhh maybe it will blow over,but we still have to discuss it!

Do you have a lot to lose if it doesn't work out? And are you willing to take that kind of a loss?

Like auto insurance, full coverage? Or just liability?

Just time and emotionally...seriously just average wagearner here...maybe a little better than average...like 45k a year...I see it as insurance,u dont buy insurance hoping you will use it...but just in case something does...u have some protection...I was previously married so i know what CAN happen in a divorce..not that it will happen

I dont have a lot of money at all...I do and did trust her....but like i said a huge red flag to me...especially to not even discuss it....but i have my reasons to think about bringing it up to her...previously married so i have experienced it...and it is worst thing on earth.I know she is taking a big risk to come here with her son ,but im taking a big risk too,and have invested hugely in time,money and emotionally.I know its not an easy topic,but thought it was best to talk with her about it BEFORE starting the visa...prevent...i seriously think it is best of me to disscuss now then when she comes here so she can decide for herself what to do.

Prenup agreement? My Filipina fiancée flipped out when I brought it up.wont even discuss it now. This throws up a huge red flag as we start visa process.Any thoughts?