ILIKEALLCAPS

That was a puzzling leap. I'm also compelled to ask why the growing hostility toward my self-definition? Surely, it doesn't have an affect on how anyone else defines themselves.

Has anyone even attempted to research the term?

Asking for clarity shouldn't be taken as hostility. It should, instead, be taken as "asking for clarity."

And a quick scan of available materials indicates that the term "ethnically American" is either used in a pre-defined manner e.g. "for these purposes meaning of the northern European caucasions that settled the United States.", is used as "American ethnic" followed by a sub-group (such as white, Asian, etc.), or is left undefined from which a person could, presumably, wish for a little clarity.

Or were you referring to the definition of just "ethnic"? In which case you're both correct if you're looking at culture, and a bit off the mark as you've described yourself as being born in the USA...which would fall under the 'national' identity category in the broadest terms.

I'm not seeking anything other than clarity here, and I'm trying to show how a term too broadly defined detracts from the question at hand. The term "American" represents too much of a nationalistic identity rather than an "ethnic" division. The United States is too young a country, and frankly too diverse a country, to have that applied as a catch-all. For me I think that's the major hitch.

Can it be broken down more? I'm not ethnically Floridian. And I'm definitely not ethnically Broward County. And there's no way in heck I'm ethnically 113th street. Forget about the 2300 block. Do all of these divisions have their own cultures....probably. But that doesn't make them ethnic.

I'm a caucasian US citizen and my ex-wife is also caucasian. I wasn't looking for a white woman when we met, it just turned out that way. The woman I'm petitioning now (my wife, Lina) is a Filipina and we met by chance. I was on a cruise ship with friends and she was working on the ship. I never thought I'd meet my wife then and there but it happened and I couldn't be happier. I will say that I have always been attracted to Asian women and I have Filipina friends (all married) so I do know something of and like the Philippine culture. Maybe that was the reason I talked with her in the ship casino for several hours...?

American doesnt mean caucasian, you can marry an american and her not be caucasian. she was asking about nationality, not race.

Yeah, I thought it was interesting that the OP said she's not "ethnically American."

indeed

I find it interesting that more people have latched on to the "ethnically American" comment than caught the comment implying that American = white. I have run across this often; people making the statement that so and so looks "American". When asked to clarify that remark, what they mean is Caucasian. Much of the world has internalized this view, as well, extending it to the term "western". Westerners, Americans, are Caucasian by definition. Perhaps this is why that comment squeaked by, and mine did not? Perhaps it is even part of what distinquishes an American from an ethnic, since Americans do not truly perceive Americans as being ethnic, with the beckoning "melting pot" waiting to homogenize the masses. In contrast to this perception, ethnicity is a defined concept in social science, but how one integrates the concept into their own value system is how it is manifested in reality.

I am not ethnically American. I see it as a simple and self-explanatory comment. Maybe not, tho.

Funny....the quote you're quoting has him answering MORE specifically than you do. he's "caucasian American"....she's only "caucasian" and he doesn't specify what "ethnicity" (using your definition of ancestral nationality and cultural identity).....and you're complaining that people are still asking for clarification on your incredibly non-specific "ethnically American." Ethnicity as defined by one social science measure (US Census) is strictly: Caucasian, Black, Asian, Native American, Pacific Islander, and Other. Using that definition I don't see "American" listed. As you've yet to completely clarify (and no, your "Americans are perceived as having blah blah characteristics" isn't a definition)....his answer is more valid than your own.

Do you think there are people who end up with a foreign-born spouse because they can't get a date in their own country?

Sure! Wasn't he called "Bholliday" or somesuch?

I think the blurred line causing a lot of confusion is ethnicity vs. nationality vs. culture. One person can say "ethnicity" and mean it as the government does, basically a racial grouping (caucasian, black, asian, native american, polynesian), while the next person uses it the exact same way but means national ancestry, and a third thinks they're talking about cultural issues (hutu vs. tutsi). It's too broad a term. A little clarification might make for better answers to your question.

Looks like I'll be the first to play the semantic game.

I married a Canadian. From North America. Common colloqualisms aside, pretty much anybody from North or South America is American, so that's like....1/3 of all populated continents.

As for the general gist of your question.....I married the woman I fell in love with, not her geographical or socio-political status.

** that mate, this aint the other places "that accept dollars".

In this country, dollars rule, anything else needs to be exchanged into dollars.

Pesos are good "south of the border" but not here. It is bad enough that we have "bi-lingual" locales. A crime unto itself.

English is the native language of America. When the dollar is diminished, so are we.

American Patriotism people, where are you in this?

Yep, you just ask the tribes that were here speaking all that English when Columbus landed, or the Mayflower......they were already on the dollar scale.

And the nerve of this government run business to accept whatever the hell they want.....what are they thinking? Free enterprise? Next thing you know stores will be offering coupons, or bonus bux, and churches and schools will offer scrip. Anarchy!!

The banking industry is the worst culprit! They accept electricity as money. They call it "electronic balance transfer".....the unpatriotic bastards!

I recently drove through NH (or VT? or Maine?) to Canada, and we both needed our passports. No longer allowing just a driver's license or other photo ID.

mmm, interesting

arrgh, now that has thrown a wrench in my plans

No worries....here's the state department website with the good info Passport info link thingy.

Hey Marilyn,

Land and Sea crossings don't need extra ID (i.e. passport) until 2009, so the Bellingham option is definitely viable. Driver's License and birth certificate will do.

(and dangit, you made me log in from work just to tell you that....see how you are!)

Link to a news article for those that need one.

w00t!!

Finally. At last something that'll finally end all the violence worldwide. Puppies will fall from the heavens as rain. Little chicks will spring spontaneously from your lawn like mushrooms. The sheep shall lay down with the lion and we can all roast them together and have a nice sheeplion for new years. Hooray that the final answer to all evil everywhere has been found! Thank goodness that all questions about terrorism have been answered, and that the completely aboveboard and not questionable whatsoever trial has covered it's tracks resolved this to everyone's satisfaction.

Ask your God if'n he/she/it is all that pleased you're gleeful that not only was someone executed, but they're in hell. I'm guessing you'll find the answer a bit on the "crispy flames in your future" side as well.

w00t!!

Many many congratulations and best wishes for a long and happy life together!

:dance:

Not from Florida, but I can find it on a map.

Just wanted to let you know that the way I read your title I ended up thinking "How many of the central Florida VJers are from central Florida? That's silly....they all are!"

and....just remembered a tangental Florida relationship (other than the many wonderful VJers down there).....I had some cousins in the Orlando area.

Guys, be nice now. As we all know, we're all anxiously awaiting legislative change that would allow a person in the United States of America to adjust from one sort of status (say....overstay on some sort of employment visa, or marriage, or something) to another. (let's call that one "conditional permanent resident.")

Wouldn't it be great if some sort of system already was in place for such a thing? Just imagine how wonderful it would be to be able to fall in love with someone, marry them, deal with immigration, and not have to worry about flying under the radar. What would be absolutely best would be if you could still do this "change of status" thing even if you'd had some kind of hijinx happen before. Oh well, we'll all just have to dream.

(yep, that's right, sarcasm.....er....excuse me......SARCASM works both ways)

I'm a vet. I'm not all that eager to go out and break laws to get what I want. I'm especially not eager to do so at the advice of a lawyer. Fire the #######, then bust your ### making phone calls, emailing congresspeople and senators, your governor, friends, family, judges. If this is truly worth such a stink then raise a major stink over it.....but do it in the right forum. Wow, it sucks your husband is starting to be deported. I can't do shite about it. You can. Do it. Don't waste your time on here unless you're doing your research to get him back. Oh, and hire an attorney that knows what the ** he's talking about. You're an adult, act like one. Accept the fact you screwed up, make all the appropriate apologies, get your husband back, then shut up and go away.

Am I the only one here who's thinking of a completely different toy than what you can get at Toys R Us?

Yeah, thought so...

::scurries off::

Try this web site:

Toys

In the spirit of both....AND trying to answer the original question, go here.

Happy Holidays to you all, whatever you may or may not celebrate.

May the new year bring your joyous dreams to fruition!

For those of us without the time to read all ten pages (what a thread to come home to!), could anyone give the condensed version?

Having just worked all the way through it myself, I believe it's more accurately characterized as:

Teh A-RABS are teh evil and are ritin' in there scribbly kursiveness on good decent American Busses in order to make teh nice Jewish people marry with large age differences and 80's music

And something about sheep

Opening Credits: "Life Sentence" - Dead Kennedy's

Waking Up: "Stagefright" - Def Leppard

First Day At School: "What's the matter here?" - 10,000 Maniacs

Falling In Love: "Miles Away" - Basia

Fight Song: "I want a woman" - Ratt

Breaking Up: "Wild child" - Heart

Prom: "Same Thing" - Barenaked Ladies

Mental Breakdown: "Descending" - The Black Crowes

Driving: "Under the Gun" - Lita Ford

Flashback: "I'll Tumble 4 Ya" - Culture Club

Getting back together: "Video Bargainville" - Moxy Fruvous

Wedding: "I'm goin' home" - Hootie and the Blowfish

Birth of Child: "15 Beers Ago" - Deaf Pedestrians

Final Battle: "Freewill" - Rush

Death Scene: "Got Me Wrong" - Alice in Chains

Funeral Song: "Is It Luck?" - Primus

End Credits: "Scorn not his Simplicity" - Sinead O'Connor

Right.....there you go.

'tis the season for them to start coming inside. Fortunately they have a tendency to run in exactly the same pattern that makes a cat go "ooooh! Toyfood!"

With 4 cats, we're good.

The IT manager at a former job got bit on the thigh. He was lucky in that he only had his whole thigh baloon up....and he lost a circle of skin about the size of a 50 cent piece.

So yeah, not the friendliest of household companions.

There was a news story recently about a man arrested for having sex with a dead dog, on the road, in front of a day-care.

If there had been pictures of him in the act......would you post those and defend them?

Your best bet would be to contact the DMV directly, as the policy changes from state to state. In our case we did a little research ahead of time and then went to the DMV with printouts of the state policy, the I-94, her passport, and the marriage license (I think).

Good luck to you....dealing with the DMV can be difficult in the best of times.

woot! cute baby!!

:dance:

Hello Everyone,

I’ve been lurking around this site for weeks reading and reading and I’ve found some very helpful information. I have found most of the general questions I have or had, have been answered in one form or another, thank you. I have just mailed off my I-129F Visa application for my fiancé and now the waiting game begins…Woo Hoo…

Jim and I met three years ago via the internet and we have been traveling back and forth between Nelson BC and Spokane, WA ever since. He proposed last December and we are planning a July 7th wedding...(07/07/07 now how cool is that) Yes I’m excited, nervous and everything in between. We have done this a bit backward and forwards all at the same time if that is possible. We have the place, date, the minister, etc…now we have to wait for a visa and hope it is approved in a timely fashion…lol

Again this is an awesome sit and it has given me a bit a relief, if that is possible and I am so looking forward to a new chapter in my life.

Margaret

Congratulations and welcome aboard! This site has some absolutely invaluable information and some truly helpful and knowledgeable people.

Good luck with your journey, and enjoy Spokaloo (or Spokavegas.....depends on the generation).

I took his remarks in that context because of his references thoughout the thread to the 'burden' the 'spawned' are on the 'unspawned' The 'specifically mothers' is because this thread is about the equality given to mothers in the work place. Of course, I could be reading too much into this...

I have already stated that the work ethic is the salient point. I have also stated that 'in my experience' those with children, and specifically mothers, have a very high work ethic and work harder.. You've heard the saying if you want a job done well, ask a busy person? Seems to apply to the working moms I have known. Of course, that part is purely from my experience and I am not suggesting that single/childless men or women never have high work ethics.

Figures would be very interesting to see.

The smoking break thing really bugs me though...

Here's a figure.....100% of the people at work with children 'spawned' through sexual reproduction. Not a single case of asexual reproduction.

(For those that aren't following.....it takes 2 to spawn....1 of each gender)

Ok, as for how people who have taken the blessed time to joyously fertilize each other, nurturing the growing life until such time as it emerges from the womb, the pinnacle of human evolution....might possibly contribute to being unproductive at work:

1. I don't want to see pictures of your kid.

2. I don't want to hear a story of how your kid bit the cat, or the postman, or the president (well, maybe the last one)

3. I don't want to hear the same story, this time with pictures.

(do I bring in pictures of the movie I watched last weekend? Doubtful.)

4. Sending your kids off to school is great. I wish I had something I could count on getting me out of an afternoon (or morning) of work several times a year, without anyone thinking twice.

(who's for worker-hangover conference day 3 times a year?)

5. I don't want to buy candy bars. Or lightbulbs. Or apples, pies, giftwrap, cookie dough, pizzas, raffle tickets........If I can't go to camp....little Zuzana can't either.

6. Did I ever get around to thanking you for the flu last year? Or the colds? Or for remembering that I have tissues so you run over to my desk just in time to sneeze on me?

7. I don't recall the last time there was "take your hobby to work" day.

Yes, childless people can be irresponsible. No, I don't like them when they do it either....but they're a little less.....enfranchised.

Now....as to something vaguely relating to the topic. I fully think the maternity leave situation in the USA sucks. I think the Paternity leave situation sucks worse. How about 3 months off, paid, each? How about only 1 month of that overlapping? Sounds nice to me.

(and yes, I recognize that, by playing the devil's advocate so vehemently here......I've pretty much assured us getting pregnant. In which case you can all make me eat my words....as long as you buy a candy bar.)

You make some good points. I think Jenn has expressed throughout this thread that companies need an across-the-board flexibility work policy. I work in the video game industry which is aging but in the beginning primarily made up of single guys who had no life outside of games. I still work with a lot of guys who are single with no kids, and they'll take time off from work for their doctor's appointments or other errands. Some people will abuse the system. I guess I'm lucky because my company is flexible that as long as you get your work done. There are clear cut expectations as to what each employee must achieve for each milestone. Although we rely on others to get our work done, ultimately it is on our shoulder. If Bob, for example, was out of the office taking his daughter to the orthodontist and I needed him to get my work done - if it becomes a problem, I can and should bring it up with my company. Often times we are asked to make up for such lost time by working late and on the weekends.

Having flexibility that is applied fairly to all employees is the key here.

Very valid points. I have no problem with a policy that allows you to take Jr. to a baseball game.....as long as I get to go to a game when I want, too. As it is, I need to plan at least 2 weeks in advance for anything spontaneous.....and even then I get the disapproving looks. Heck, I've had a supervisor who took a half-day off work so he could drive his kid to school on the first day of school. His 10 year old kid. Who was going to the same school he'd been going to....for the last 5 years. This same person called me....on my personal cell phone....and threatened to fire me if I didn't come in and fix a program. Mind you....this was on Valentine's day, when I had expensive tickets to dinner theatre....and I'd been off work for 6 hours. Screw that. Apply priorities equally and see how much more a team will work together.

Right.....

So, where I work we're a safety company. The reports we produce enable you, the consumer, to purchase things with a fair idea that they're actually not going to kill you. On my team (we're split into teams to focus on particular industries) we're about 50/50 spawn/spawnless. At least once a week there is someone on my team who is out, has to take an afternoon (or morning) off, is a little late, or whatever excuse you have for dealing with a kid. (don't forget the "parent-teacher conference" dodge.) What this means is that we have 1 less body to deal with incoming work. That means a rush job comes in and goes into my name....shifting things around in priority....delaying companies from being able to ship product. For some industries that can be millions of dollars a day. All because little Melvin missed the bus. It also means that I get asked why things are late. Now take that to the point where there's 2, or 3, or 5 out.

Is this fair? Nope. Is it the real world? Yep.

Sorry, I'm not going to feel all warm and fuzzy about helping out the spawn-enhanced....unless they bring back some nice flu bug to share....and then I just get sick.

That's my .02

Now I'm picturing a fat robot fish.

I think my husband has finally corrupted my mind to all things geeky.

CAPS, you have been accused of 'corrupting' your wife. How do you plead?

Daniel

:energetic:

Oh, he'll plead guilty. He's very proud of corrupting me...

CAPS, we men of VJ are proud of you.

Daniel

:energetic:

Yes, like he needs encouragement... Oy!

corrupt corrupt corrupt corrupt corrupt corrupt

Daniel

:enrgetic:

I'm quite totally guilty of corrupting her.....in all 10 dimensions.