outofhere

As to clarify the situation a little:
I have been divorced 6 years ago, I have sole custody and their biodad does not have any interest nor gives me any financial support. So it is not a problem for me to travel or move abroad legally.
Switzerland is a nice country and my idea to travel was to show the US, as to see if they would like to transfer over here in a few years. It has better opportunities for my children educationwise for certain reasons and I have far better career opportunities.
I came here on a tourist visa and went back for several days which renews it, as I had to finish some exams. Then we went to Canada. Then I was supposed to go out to Mexico, but that was not necessary, since we then wanted to get married.
I had met him while hiking and we stayed together 24/7 over 7 months and then got married. It was supposed to be a fast marriage, so we can do the big party in November, so my family can come.
Currently I am living of the money of my family, as well as depend on them to pay for the filing fees. This is how I pay for it at the moment, until I can work.
Yes, I could go back, but my children have learned the language within these months, we have integrated into the community. This is home now. I would have wanted to stay with him, but it is crazy. I cannot go away from this place as I cannot drive. Some people from the church help me though. And I do think he will stay away, because of the protective order. I don't think the shelter will help me.
People will think the same as you here. That, because I am from Switzerland, I can just go back and start my life over there again. For some reason we are all millionaires over there and have houses and everything for free. Well, I can tell you one thing: We have to work too. And as a woman with three kids and no support from the father you work your butt off, because it is so expensive. And people will still not even give you a chance, nor the kids, because you are the stupid woman who has no father to the children. Yes, I thought it would be better here. I thought people would give us a chance. Maybe not. Thats okay.
And btw, if you want to go to Switzerland, then go, please do so. I will happily give you my passport.
I don't understand why, coming from this country makes me into a more privileged person. I am a woman with three kids who thought I finally get a chance. We get to go to the United States even before my studies are entirely finished and I live with the man I love and my kids. This doesn't feel any better for me or any person with any other homecountry. I risked and I lost. And I am sure now I should not send any papers. Not really worth the money.
I do not hate my husband and I do not want to hate him. I want to divorce him and get on with my life and have only small scares instead of a lot of hate in my heart. This is what I believe in, but that probably is not good enough. It is not dramatic, it is just sad and that is all I can offer as a VAWA story. So I guess thats it.
Thank you for your replies.