shonababy08

I really appreciate all the advice, I also understand about the big age difference. When we first met online saw her pictures, video chat, I thought she was joking about her age and I always said it's just numbers. I know everyone will laugh or say something wrong with my eyes or brain. Met online 2007, I really want to see her in person, my family saw her on webcam & photos, she don't look her age. Our deal was, to meet in person and then decide with open mind and no hurt feelings to stop communicating or give our love a chance. She really tried her best to stop and end everything. At the same time she don't want to hurt my feelings and I know she cared for me. It was so difficult for both of us. To some people they can't understand that until they are in our place. When we met the first time in her country (philippines). I have totally forgotten about her age, she is a woman that really have taken care of herself naturally and in good shape and have pleasant personality. When it comes to having children of course we want to have a family, Indian cultures as they said, wants a family but, some couples accepted the fact that they can't have a child, yet they are happy. My fiancee strongly reminded me that at the very start. I am just focus on my great feelings for her, she gave me the respect, love and attention. Some men fell in love with disabled women that will never be able to have a child. Men that will marry their sweethearts on her death bed. A young man married to woman with only half body and so on. How about some men of 60-75+ age marrying a 20-25 years old women from different countries? Even before I met my fiance, I never want to have an arrange marriage because I want to find the woman that my heart beats for. Our country's culture is changing, people are now finding different lifestyles and I am in this generation and for the future. If my fiancee wants to give me a child, with the modern medical help she can bear me a child even at her age. Some older women can still have a child and it happened. If she can get a job here in India, we will be happy to do that. We just wanted to be together. She can't even get 2 months vacation because of her job.

We will go for an appeal on K1 visa, with an immigration lawyer. My fiancee will fly to India on my interview date. She will present herself personally

her case and willing to be judged right there. Once we are married she can also live here. Thank you for all the information. I wish I knew this site before and I could have prepared myself for the interview. Appreciate you all. I welcome all advices, opinions and information.

Thank you all.

[quoe name=Bec_Dipu' timestamp='1333545179' poset='52ian71036h]

There is no way in heck a CO at aInd ian embassy is ever going to approve you on a K1. That age difference is MASSIVE. The fact that your fiance is no longer a child-bearing age weighs heavily against you. There are plenty of cases on VJ with this large of an age difference, but hardly ever with the female that much older. If you had any hope at aloA youngl, she should have spent time in India with you and your family and she should have attended the interview.

aler

It is doubtful an immigration lawyer can help you.o If you want to stay on the K1, then your fiance needs to contact her US Senator and get his/her involvement ASAP in keeping the file fuat the embassy and having a second interview.If you get a second interview, she needs to attend and you should be prepared for difficult questions.

me

If you choose to attempt the CR1, you should realize that you may still get denied. I haven't seen denials from India on a CR1 when they processed after a K1 denial but the few cases you can look to as an example don't have such a large age difference. If you go the CR1 route, have a backup plan if you get denied there too - e.g. find another place besides the US to live or dissolve the marriage.

I'm not an immigration specialist, so everything I've said may be refuted by others. My response is based on my interactions with others going through the process in India and reading every embassy review for India since 2008. Good luck with your journey.

Hi Dwheels76,

We are deciding on getting married and that means I have to fly to India to do that and I might be there again on his interview date. I'm still calling

immigration lawyers who can help me. Do you have to go the US Embassy in Nigeria to get a certificate or clearance before you can marry? Thanks

for you help. Good luck to you.

Well I know its a country to country thing but divorce and quick engagement or marriage is a big red flag. And yes it seems alot of what you all are doing seems more like a marriage than Ke 1 engage couple. Like leases and joint accounts. They might look at that unfavorable. I am sure more K1ers can put more light on this and help youan. But I do know now you need to be contacting your state reps, congress person and have them look into this. They usually can get the true low down on whats up. And yes you may have to do the next step and get married and refile CR1/IR1.

I am sorry I am 21 years older than my husband and so you know people like you have a special place in my heart. Don't give up. Now is the time to start making inquiries and getting your ducks in a row and getting your baby home.

You are AMAZING!!!!

Million thanks Catknik. Yesterday, my family and my fiance's family in India are so confused and don't know what to do next. We are all sad and don't know what to do. We decided on getting married. Our family are happy with that idea and you just confirmed it. That's the only option we can take. I am so happy to hear from you and your words of advice. I was so hesitant to post my issues here the other day because I am so ashamed of my situation, and don't want to be judged and I am so sorry I am older. Out of desperation I registered. I am so glad I did. You gave us so much hope. I don't know how long will CR-130 processing take but I hope for the best. I can tell you more about our relationship next time but, for now I just want to let you know how much I really appreciated your time and knowledge about Immigration issues. Once again thank you very much.

First off - I know how much this whole thing sucks. We've been there, we survived, we're now happily settled in the US.

er

Certain things can't be "fixed" per say. Obviously you can't change your age. But, you can look at all the information about your case and see how you can strengthen your case...

As to whether or not using an attorney at this point makes sense - in your case, most likely not. The CO wasn't convinced that your relationship was bonafied, an attorney won't be able to fix that.

You can get in touch with the immigration liaisons for both your Congressperson and US Senator. These people will only be able to confirm that your case was sent back to USCIS. In some extraordinarily rare cases, files are kept at the embassy and a second interview is scheduled at the request of these liaisons. I can think of only 2 cases in all the years I've been on vj that succeeded in getting a second interview after a denial. But, no harm in trying...

When you case returns to USCIS chances are it will be expired out - no further action will be taken on that case. You may get letter stating just that [or you may not - VSC doesn't seem to do that]. Your options going forward would be to file a new K1 or get married and file for the CR1 [i-130]. Delhi seems to give K1 mixed race couples a harder time than CR1 applicants. My recommendation would be to marry and file the I-130 over the K1 route.

Total side note - getting married in India is a whole nother mess. You'd probably marry under the special marriage act which has a 30 day posting period. Some regional areas require both parties to register 30 days ahead of time, some regional areas allow the Indian fiance to do this on there own. This means either a long trip to India in some cases!

I personally think one of the hardest parts to this whole process is separating yourself from all the warm and fuzzy feelings you see in your relationship and look at it like a legal case. Your goal is to prove to a 3rd party suspicious government employee that this is a real and true relationship. When you have "red flags" you've just upped the ante on that legal burden.

You'll most likely want to front load your next petition [do a search here on vj for information]. This will help the second petition immensely.

And, again, my #1, numero uno tip for Delhi K1 interviews [or any case that has a messy history - which yours now does]: the USC needs to be at that interview. Be there come hell or high water. It speaks volumes to the CO and chances are you will be interviewed at the same time. Any questions can then be clarified at that time. Interactions between you and your fiance can be seen. Tricky questions about your past can be explored - like if your divorce was a mess due to custody fights...your right there to explain it.

Read the R&S's topic in this forum about inter-racial relationships, it will help you see some of the past/present issues some couples have at the Indian consulates.

If you have any additional questions - just ask! We're here to help!

Thank you for those information, So, now either I have to correct those red flags or marry my fiance in his country and apply CR-130.

I wonder what next issues will come out and I wonder how long will it take? If I maintain the application of K1, should I hire an immigration

lawyer to help me? How can a Congressman help me? Please help..... I am so lost right now and I am so sad that we have to go through all

these just to be with someone you really love. Thank you so much

Wild guess - your fiance posted the 601/212 forum?????

There are a few things that pop right out:

#1 Greater than 25 years difference - you're probably on the edge with respect to childbearing age? This will be seen as a red flag. Kids are a big deal in Indian culture - the COs know this.

#2 Recently divorced. As in VERY recently divorced. This is also considered a red flag. The CO may be curious as to why you were in a committed relationship since 2008 and only just divorced. There can sometimes be very legitimate reasons, specific divorce laws [some states have/had a 12 month separation rule, etc] or things were tangled up in court for years because of custody disputes/interesting financial situations - but as it's written in your post, it seems sketchy.

#3 Joint bank account. Even though this is great proof once married that you are comingling finances, at the "engaged" part of a relationship, this can be seen as a little suspicious. Monetary gifts may make sense to some, but to be already comingling finances would raise some eyebrows.

Go check out your fiance's post in the other forum...there is some good info there. Also, check out the interracial relationship topic in this forum.

Thank you so much for your advice dwheels76. I traveled each year for 3 years and we spent 1 month and a half each time together. Over a hundred pictures together. I sent him vonage phone in India on 2008 because its easier and cheaper than call cards. We have chats, joint bank account, reciepts, alot of proofs. Maybe our proof was more than what they ask for? Like we are married or maybe because my divorce was finalized on January 2011 and petitioned him on june of the same year?

When he was told this information did he go back and present it? Or did this denial letter come first? What I am reading is that you wee given a chance to prove your relationship but didn't provide. Can you explain more? Not sure if you can request a second interview or if you are there in India you request an interview to speak to CO. But here we are already in April your paperwork may already be back at USCIS here in the States. Have you called your state reps or congress people for help?

I think you should request for this topic to be moved to your countries forum to get specific guidance from those who know your embassy best.

Thank you for the information. My boyfriend/fiance went for interview last march 5 and requested him to submit more dicuments and proof ofthe relationship and we have alot to show and today he got a denial letter that says "the petitioner and benificiary dint have a valid relationship to qualify for the relationship under section 212a(p)(5) and I can not any information of whatthis section is all about. If you or anyone out there that can help me please

I knew some older men with over 25+ age difference with their girlfriend were able to get K-1 visa approved. But how about if its the other way around?

Will that be a reason for denial?