titantom

:dance:

...and I can smell it!

Hmmmmm... What does it smell like?

That was it. Very easy. I almost can't believe it. I expected to be grilled again like I was at our horrid I-130 interview.

Great News!!!

Congratulations!!!

Yes it is. Is it possible they'll update the site later and we could get notifications at night?

I don't claim to know their system of doing things, but I will say this, since I work with computer systems / databases. It's very possible, that jobs run at specific times "to post" changes to the records in their system. (like Bank Transactions) Especially if there is alot of processing going on and even verification checks of what has been processed earlier, BEFORE the notifications go out. We do it here where I work, at night, before letters go out to notify people, etc... And if something goes wrong and things are updated incorrectly, then its a huge problem when 25,000 customers are notified and call us about it. Can you imagine such a thing at the USCIS? By the thousands, and what they would have to do to deal with the mess? Especially with something this sensitive... I wouldn't wanna work there...

Anyway, I was also notified @ 11 PM'ish at night for NOA1... It's just computer systems doing what they are told to do... Which is why Late Night Text Messages have taken a couple of years off my life in the past 5 months... Always thinking, "This could be it..." (and then I hear the loser game show music in my head...) :-(

Hope its coming soon... 5 months at the end of the week for us...

WE JUST GOT APPROVED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

HEY!!! THIS IS AWESOME!!!

Congratulations to you both!!!

I know. Hopefully it won't be that way for our round of NOA2s. I don't understand how it would go from a week to a month so quickly. Maybe this was just a bad round and things will even out during the next phase for us....here's to hoping.

I have used the I-797C "Notice Date" in my timeline, which is Jan. 23. They received my application on Jan. 19.

Everyday is becoming grueling now... GRRRRR!!!

Hey everyone, I didn't want to post this in the main area, buy,.... Sveta and I recieved our NOA2 just a few minutes ago!!!!!!!!!!

SWEET!!! and also Congratulations!!!

I will be watching your progress closely to see how things go to NVC and Moscow. I hope we will be getting something soon as well... Best wishes to you both!!! This is great news after waiting so long!!!

Please God, I was JOKING!!! Woohoo, 1 week before 5 month!!

Post Decision Activity

On June 5, 2012, we mailed you a notice that we have approved this I129F PETITION FOR FIANCE(E). Please follow any instructions on the notice. If you move before you receive the notice, call customer service at 1-800-375-5283.

... WHAT WILL YOU DO FOR A NOA2?

Freakin Awesome!!! Congratulations...

Durak maybe... never kakashka. Also, my wife tells me it is customary to play games with men before marraige. Make sure they are truly patient and get that THIS gal will not be dominated This tradition went so badly for us that she had to stop and explain to me what she was doing and why. Kind of defeating the purpose.

No Kakashka??? We use it in a humorous way... Which to me translates to "#######"... which I used already in English in the exact same way... Called my cats that, my daughter that, etc... Or said, "You are being a #######", in a joking way... She uses it the same way with me and her cat... It's funny that there are a few of those kinds of words that we use when kidding each other, and they already existed in our own vocabularies. Its so natural for us to play this way. In fact, the first time we met in person, it was as if we had been friends for years instead of 5 months. Even if we had not "hit it off" in other ways, I think we would have remained very good friends.

About the games... Interesting for you to mention this. She was quick to let me see "another side" of her (moods) and then watch my reaction. I think it took longer for me to let her see the same from me. She was also VERY interested to see me when I am mad and would ask me about it. She even mentioned it to my mom in a letter... Wanting see to how I am when angry. I wonder if she will tell me it was all a game later, after we are finally married, because I had wondered sometimes if she was forcing a way to see that side of me. Who knows... but you sure have my wheels turning now...

Whew... so many replies and just now found the time to respond... So here goes...

randye80:

Make sure your fiance understands the relationship you have, and intent to continue having with your daughter, emotional as well as financial. It is important to discuss how you both plan to deal with this other woman in your lives. Unfortunately, many (not all) RUB men sever ties with their children when they split with their ex-wives, and your new wife may have certain expectations that differ from yours. Some (not all) RUB women consider children from a previous marriage to be the ex-wife's problem, and may resent affection and money spent on your children, especially daughters.

I think we are okay here... She knows this scenario well, and she likes the fact that I am in my daughter's life, even from 1000 miles away... I even think this sort of attracted her to me in some way. But she also knows where each person's place is; as in that my daughter must respect and obey her, because she is the adult, my wife, and it's her home. So hopefully we won't have too much conflict there. Heck, its more likely they will gang up on me when I say "No" to both of them... We also want to have our own kids too... maybe in a couple of years, after we are settled...

Novotul:

It seems like a lot of spouses here make a clean break of the Motherland and family and personal connections there, but some do not.

Naturally, I hope we don't have such a situation where she goes back for extended time without me. I also don't live anywhere near my family, but closer than her of course. I will be the sole breadwinner for now, but I know she wants to work and I hope she can do what she wants to do here (photography), as she does in Russia. I hope she can start a business like this, and I want to help any way I can. We hope to return yearly to visit and/or have her mother visit us here in the US. But I understand that life happens and plans don't turn out the way you think... never thought I would be where I am now, but here I am.

I like this saying... its my motto I guess... "If you want something you’ve never had, you have to do something you’ve never done."

rika60607:

Arrange for her to get a driver's license - she will feel better if she's free to explore the area. Find her a good driving school (may be with a Russian speaking instructor?) rather than teaching yourself, this will save you some worries and make her a better driver

I probably talk more about this with her than anything... I plan on setting her up with private instruction, and then we can practice too... I tell her she doesnt want to learn from me anyway... So hey, maybe she will teach me something so I don't keep having to take Defensive Driving classes... Ironically, the last time I got a ticket, I was driving to the Jewelry store to get her engagement ring sized... I will never forget the first time she asked me how far I lived from the nearest Bus Stop... I said about 40 km... lol

Derek & Rita:

I asked my brother how he was able to manage his successful marriage. He said it's all about having common goals. I think that's basically it. Set goals for the both of yourselves and work towards them together. Since she won't be able to immediately contribute to earning income, she can contribute by managing the finances, keeping your expenditures low, stuff like that. Make sure she feels appreciated. Heck, mark a few days on your calendar a month just to show her your appreciation if you aren't naturally appreciative.

Very Good Words... I really don't know how long it will take for her to "get going"... But I really want her to know that she is important and anything she adds to our life and/or home things are important too, not just financial things. Of course I want to her to do those personal things that give her gratification, I just need to know where she is at in everyday things and how she reacts to the differences. I guess thats what I am trying to anticipate... and to know how to balance pushing her vs. letting her go at her own pace... Part of me, thinks I just need to not try and figure it all out and let everything go the way it should go... Enjoy the journey, if you will... Not always an easy thing for me... I like to "fix it" and make all things right, which is why I posted this topic. To learn from you all...

Brad & Vika:

But if she feels very strongly about a situation or thing I tend to just be supportive and let her go with it. At first you will have do be more of a director, but as she gets used to things here you may find you don't need to.

Absolutely... we even talk about this, cuz I am the "experienced" one... yeah, right... I tell her that many things just aren't worth arguing over. Better to be happy than always right...

I gather this is because in her home culture, admissions and apologies can be seen as weakness, so compromising or admitting you are wrong mean you lose...

We have both seen eachother's personalities here when arguing... and have both had to admit we were wrong and are "Kakashka" sometimes... It's actually kinda cool, because neither were "too big" for this. She knows I won't dominate her and I will admit I'm wrong and apologize, but I don't take ####### either if I feel strongly about it... Interestingly enough, arguments came from misunderstandings that get inflated by Skype or just long distance. In the end, she knows how I feel about her and that I love her anyway, and she does also with me... After those times... you REALLY wish you could be with them in person... cuz you need more than words...

James & Olya:

The USA and Russia share far more in cultural values than we have as differences.

So true... I wish all my friends and family could see this... Strong and beautiful people, just only need to take the time to see it. Stop watching TV and news to form opinions and go see for yourself... same thing when seeing the rest of the world, including the USA... There are good people and good things in every country if you are looking for it. My fiancee and her family - friends were my first and only experiences in Russia. I am so glad it was this way. I haved asked this of her when she comes here and when we go visit other places... To be an open book and find the good... Its much more fun this way...

Slim:

I guess that counts me out.

Nooooooo... Come on man... Throw me a bone... I am sure you are kidding... I think I read alot of your old threads... You must be doing something right... still together after 6 yrs...

Thank You everyone for replying... I am just asking everything I can from you that have experienced those culture shock or homesick things with your spouse and either you or they adjusted somehow. Or even in hindsight, you both found a better way to work through it. One thing that seems to happen now is that I can't really ask her any more questions about life here and what she thinks about it and what if ****, because frankly, "she doesn't know, what she doesn't know"... so we often end discussions with, "We will see"... It's funny to hear her jokingly say, "Noooo, It can't be true..." when she learns something doesn't exist at all, or even the way she knows it. Or those funny words, "I saw in a movie..." and then I try to explain as best I can... We laugh about those things now, but I anticipate a day when perhaps those things aren't so funny... when reality sets in. I have alot of patience, but I usually need to know the other person is trying and not going to give up. I can go to the end of the earth with that kind of person, and would do it for her. So thank you all again, for your time, advice, and comments... I appreciate the information very much...

Teaching her to drive WILL be a test of the strength of your relationship!

I am kinda excited about this part of things... Probably gonna scare the ####### out of me... But really excited to see the look on her face when she is 100% free to go where she wants...

By the way, thanks for your earlier replies... I read them all. I think she is one that will want to contribute too, its her nature... Even with things related to us now, she always wants to "pay" something to be a part of our relationship instead of me doing everything. That is one area I have thought about alot... Really want her to see everything as hers too, including money things; to not feel like she is "asking" me for something that is not already hers. Of course we have to communicate about it, lest we go broke... We talk about that... I hope that feeling will come quickly... I tell her not to worry about it right now, she will get her chance to contribute in time...

You've already been given excellent advice, I guess I can only add that you need to allow yourselves to, how do I say this, grow together.... since you have different backgrounds there are many experiences you've had as an American and she has had as a Russian that you can't compare, so you need to start relating to each other based on your present lives. I don't know if I was clear enough but I don't know how else to explain it. Also even if you have different backgrounds, human experiences are all quite similar; heartbreak, love, laughter, sex, goals, etc, we all have those, don't forget them.

Also depends where she's from. Big cities in Russia are real different from Russian smaller villages or countrysides, if she's from the former, she'll likely feel bored in small town America, the latter, overwhelmed by big cities and craving the peace and quiet of home.

You seem to have a real desire to make her happy so I think you're good. It'll have its hard moments like all relationships do but as long as you love each other and are willing to work through problems (always remember most problems are quite small... if it doesn't matter tomorrow or in a week just let it go) you'll be fine.

Thanks Amy for your input... You explained it well. Our cities / suburbs are the same population-wise (~1 million), but very different in structure, as mine is spread out, with alot of people in the suburbs commuting into the city for work, and hers is more compact with flats, traffic, and public transportation. You absolutely must drive here, in which she will need to learn. I am waiting for her to get here, then choose and buy a house together by the end of the year. The first thing to be truly "ours"... Also, I want to see what areas she is comfortable in, busy vs. quiet, etc... I am trying to be as open as possible with life right now, so we can start new things together; and grow together as you say. And you are right, I want to make her happy and help her accomplish things that will make her feel like a complete person. You are sooooo right about most problems being small and not worth fighting over... took me a long time time to figure that out. Gotta pick your battles, and try not to have too many over stupid stuff...

My number one bit of advice is to treat her like your wife, not your Russian wife. Some good advice has been given about food, language classes, time changes, etc., but I would definitely make sure to focus on her and her individual needs, idiosyncrasies, habits, and preferences, which may or may not be typical Russian (whatever that means). You're marrying a woman, not a country.

Thank You for your very good advice... I must say that I agree with what you are saying here... As I have learned this already from my time with her; as in not to apply stereotypes because often they didn't match her at all. That's why I say that sometimes I forget that we are from 2 different countries, because what I see is "just her"... sometimes that has a Russian flavor to it, but often not. So yeah, its the woman and who she is that I love and want to marry... I have also learned from her and her family that at the core, we are very much the same as human beings... Just different experiences, expressions, etc... and I have ALOT of respect for them...

Well, at least you are looking to find answers now, before they happen. There will probably be a lot of advice from a number of members here, but I'll start with my learning experiences.

1. Expect communication problems, no matter how good you think her English is. First off, she has probably learned UK English, not American and believe me, we do speak differently. You will find that you need to explain a lot of sayings that we take for granted. Be patient and try to provide an adequate explanation. You will find that you have to think about it before you can explain some things.

2. Be open minded about the cultural differences. If both of you are willing to accept the differences, it will make adjustment easier. Remember, she has just left her country, family, friends and all she was comfortable and familiar with to be with you. Make sure she knows you appreciate it. Also, she will get homesick. Try to find stores that carry Russian goods and possibly some Russian areas where she can talk her native language. Providing her with things that are familiar will help her to relax and adjust.

3. Give her body time to adjust to her new time zone. This can take months sometimes as her body clock has been twisted around to the other half of the world. She will need sleep early on, but probably will try very much to be on your time schedule. Let her adjust. This also means that meeting a lot of new people can be overwhelming. Let her breathe a little and it will work better.

4. Make sure she can communicate with her family and friends back home. If she is here without any children, she it totally dependent upon you, so make sure you give her the chance to relax with you and truly enjoy your time together.

5. If you can, get her enrolled in an ESL class at a local community college as soon as you can. It is more about giving her alternative opportunities to improve her English and also meet other people in similar situations. It is helpful knowing you are not alone.

6. Allow her to prepare her native meals for you while you try to teach her about our native meals. This is a big difference to her and represents part of what she feels as a woman.

7. Allow her to make changes to your home so that she feels it is part of hers also. Remember, she is suppose to be your life partner, so make sure she is a part of it.

8. Don't push to get married right away. You have 90 days from her arrival, use all of it you feel like. The requirement is to get married within 90 days. After that you need to file to adjust status and that will take time. Also, remember that after she arrives, she will not be able to leave until you have married and adjusted status. Applying for Advanced Parole (AP) takes almost as much time as AOS so be prepared for that and make sure she understands.

9. Be the man she fell in love with and keep talking to each other. Communication is the key in any relationship and it is doubly so with foreign spouses.

Well, that seems to cover all that I can think of now, but I'm sure others will have more to add. I would add one more thing and that is to be careful of making friendships with other Russians unless they are from happily married couples. I've seen things go bad because of outside influences and you will have a tough enough time on your own without someone else muddying the waters.

Good Luck.

Hey... Thank You for your well thought out answer... I appreciate you taking time to elaborate...

FOR THE VETERAN VJ RUB COUPLES:

Okay, I am opening myself up to God knows what here... But I guess I will ask anyway...

I have scoured the 175 page "RUB Forum" (I still am) and reading through old threads and trying to follow the progress... Some of you are still active here after MANY years... So I am interested in what you have to say all these years later...

Here are my Questions:

You that went through the immigration, culture shock, acclimation process, and are still happily married; Do you have any good advice for someone beginning? Even ask your wives, if they don't post here... What would be their advice or thoughts in retrospect?

FYI --- Not sure I need typical "marital" advice as such, as I had already been married once before for 17 yrs and learned alot from it, including things about myself that needed to change... However, I am really interested in your experience and advice as it relates to not only the adjustment of your 2 lives together, but also the meshing of different cultures, families, and what I can do to help her "find her place" in the US... So tell me what you have learned over time that you think would help someone else...

I love this woman with everything in me and want her to be happy and successful here... But if I can learn some "would've, could've, should've done things different" from you VJ couples that would save us some grief and heartache; then I want to know and do my part.

The quick BIO about us... We should be together / married in about 3 months or so... By then, we've known each other 1.5 yrs. Been to Russia 2 times, and most of the time, stayed with her family. We are 12 yrs apart, 40 & 28, and I have a 9 yr old daughter that visits most summers, holidays, and every 2 months or so. She has written to and met most of my family on Skype. We talk often everyday, by phone or Skype... She speaks English certainly well enough for us to communicate, joke around about stuff, and discuss deep subjects. Sometimes I even forget we are from different countries. Most of her earlier views of the USA and our people were through the eyes of movies or pop culture, but I think she has been informed a little more about reality since meeting me...

Anyway, that's the very quick and dirty story... Please enlighten me now that you have been around the block and know a few things about this stuff...

Thanks for your time... It's much appreciated...

It's the same here! It feels like the closest we get, the longest it feels... really frustrating and I kind of understand why some people give in at this stage, if they are not strong enough and don't love each other there is no way they can make it! I'm glad it won't happen to us ad we will all be with our loved ones really soon!

WOW!!! What is it about this week? I am reading all of these comments and thinking to myself... Is this common at this phase of the process; to feel like complete ####### and wondering if you will make it to the end? This has been, by far, the worst week for me at just being plain irritated by the lack of progress. I was not a pleasant person to be around this week at work; largely because of missing her. And my fiancee and I even talked about it this morning. Hoping it will start moving, and saying how one day we will forget about all the time we waited. Sometimes I wonder if the timeline isn't calculated by immigration; just to "weed out" those that aren't serious. Anyway, glad to know its not just me dealing with this... To be so close, yet feel soooo far... I hope our time is near, and we will start to congratulate each other on NOA2...

I see what I'm gaining. A wonderful wife who loves me dearly.

Sometimes I think its just as simple as this... You are with someone who truely loves you... I say this, because I am like your wife. (though I am the guy, bringing my fiancee here) As excited as I am for us to start our life together, the last thing in the world I want, is for anyone or anything here to hurt her or crush her spirit. And I think about the transition, acclimation, and what she is leaving behind quite often. I want her to be the happy person she is now. And she does the same thing with me as you do... tells me not to worry about it. But hey, its normal to care and want to protect someone you really love... So its not all bad...

Best of luck to you when you come here...

Well this is all causing me a bit of stress now. I've just taken a new apartment for us. And when the interview comes I need to fly her from Khabarovsk to Moscow, which is not cheap in the summer. And of course, then from Moscow to here. Money would be veryyyy tight if I need to fly to Moscow as well. Of course, if it means the difference between her getting the visa or not, then I will be there. But I figure with the cost of another tourist visa and my flight, it would be another $2000 on this already expensive journey! Not sure what to think. It will be interesting to hear from recent interviews to see how they go.

I hear ya on this and hope its not an issue... I emailed the Embassy to ask about it. Not sure what kind of response I will get. I have already been there 2 times since August, and I was hoping the 3rd time would be to help her move here. 4 Round Trips w/ VISAS + her Interview Flight and Flight here; all in a year's time. Thats kinda tough on the bank account for me. Like you, I will do whatever I need to, but I hope its not required. I was planning to go in about a month after the VISA approval anyway to spend a week with her family and then bring her back with me. Oh well, we will see I guess... Of course, if money and time were no object, I would want nothing more than to be in the interview with her for sure. There would be no doubt about anything with the two of us there. Good Luck to you with everything.

hello Jilianne welcome aboard !

oh btw guys I saw my fiance (on Skype) getting a text straight after midnight but he didn't wake up so here's me hoping it was from the USCIC. Around the same time we got our NOA1 text notification... oh dear I can't believe how naive am I! haha but here's the hope that will keep me going till he wakes up haha

This is very funny to me!!! Because my NOA1 text and email came after midnight too. Since then, I have received various msgs like this at unusual times. I have nearly killed myself, jumping from the bed, half asleep, trying to get to my phone and see what it is and hoping its from the USCIS; when usually, I would just ignore it. But not now, because we are wanting this to come so much... So I am with you and understand completely... Good Luck To You All...

For me, besides Skype for Chat / Video. I use Vonage... World Plus 1000 - Unlimited to Landlines and 1000 minutes to mobile. Then I use the Extensions Addon for my Cell Phone to route my mobile calling through the Vonage Account. Also, my US Vonage number is free from my mobile phone so I dont incur minute usage for calling international from there either. Sounds complicated, buts its really not... I never pay more than the $60 plan cost, and we can talk as much as we want and when we want. We will definitely keep it when she is here too for her to call home...

I used Travisa in Washington DC twice in the past year and they were great to work with. I still did the application online and printed it out, and as you said, sent all the documents and Passport to Travisa, the handled everything with the Russian Embassy and returned my Passport w/ VISA to me.

http://russia.travisa.com

haha. I looked into it too. Confirmed at 5 months. 100% a glitch. I didn't expect us to go from average 4-5 months approval to almost 9 so suddenly..

Wow... this had me freakin out too! My fiancee is getting her foreign passport renewed today because we thought things might be getting close... and this was a blow. But... I just checked the website and I like this even better. VSC Processing Dates as of Feb. 29, 2012. I-129F - Date was June 14, 2012. Thats only 3 months - 17 days apart. (3.5 months) So really, how do you interpret these stats? We just hit 90 Days... I will take anything that gives hope. Just wanna date to look forward to. Maybe its coming soon... Best of luck to you all!

Hello... Its interesting you say this... Because usually with Russian Women, their middle name, as we call it, is a variant of their father's first name, with either "evna" or "ovna" on the end... for example; Nikolai = Nikolaevna. So they may call it their "Paternal" name... so you have Family Name, First Name, and Paternal Name (Last, First, Middle)... at least that is the order in Russian. All this to say, perhaps this isn't the case with everyone, but with my fiancee and her family, it is so... and that's how its stated on my K1 Forms; Middle = Paternal... Hope this helps...

I noticed on My Case Status that the Last Updated section changed to 2/09/12 today. Is this what you guys refer to as a "touched?" What exactly does that mean? Is it something they would update just upon moving the file around?

Hi Paul... I saw your post and our timelines are almost identical. So I checked mine, also with the VSC, and mine was touched too on 2/9... Anything is good... better than the silence, so I am hoping for quick processing too. Maybe we are in the same box or shipment...

Congratulations!!!

Very Exciting News!!!

And I must say that its very nice to see everyone joining in your happiness here... Very cool group of people...

Wishing you all the best as you continue...

Thanks everyone for your responses. I feel better now that I know she doesn't have to get there so early in the morning. We talked today about the cold and waiting outside and of course, I'm the only one who is concerned about it. She said she would arrive about 0700.

She is a strange combination of tough as nails but also Princessa Innessa.

Talking about waiting in line reminded of my first time in Ukraine. I get off the bus to the terminal and get in line at passport control. I'm in the first 1/3 of the line. I look down and get my papers together and make sure I have everything I need. I look back up and now I'm at the back of the line. #######!

Everyone in the US (outside NYC) is so polite about queing up. But in Russia people are so rude and pushy. At first I hated it. Now I look forward to being there so I can push people out of the way!

Okay... Its my first post here, but your comments had me laughing... even if its off topic, its halarious and brings back memories of my last 2 trips to Russia. I too had to get used to pushing like everyone else, or I would ALWAYS be last in line.

I think my sweetheart thinks its funny (or it just drives her crazy)... She was always grabbing me by the hand and pulling me so I don't miss the bus or train. I would always let the ladies or ones in a hurry go before me. I am sure I looked rather awkward.

However, I must say; Boarding the airplanes seems so crazy to me. It's such a "free for all" there... Not like the smaller groups or zones we have in the US... But I would fight those lines in second to see her again... Bring on the K-1!!!