happyblessedme

hello,I'm worried !!! Our flight is on Dec.8 and I read that some airport check other parent consent,if u are the wife who will be flying u need father's consent that let your children to fly with you. I dont know where to find my exhusband. Is this also happen at the airport here in philippines? Is anyone had that experienced? Reply is very much appreciated. Or is there any alternative that i can show to them? Thank u in advance

Me and my 2 kids flew from Manila to Georgia last year without the ex's consent.Have a safe flight.

Thank y'all for ur pieces of advise. Will let u know any updates .

Thank y'all so much for your words of encouragement and pieces of advice. Will surely let u know updates in the future.

Hi There

I'm curious then what happens to that I-864 contract with the government. It doesn't ask anything about the new person to the country to be responsible for the petitioner. Really what is his legal responsibility?

Please could some one inform me on this issue.

Terri

what a sad state of affairs.

I hope someone can help me with this issue as well.

One way to look at this is you are making him choose. And if someone made such a demand from me, then I would not submit to their demands.

I suggest family counseling.

I also suggest that you need to look at your relationship with your husband's family, all of it, as mutual. If there are problems, they are partly your fault. It takes two people to fight.

I wud suggest for u to read my other post if u have time. I never hada problem with my in laws, all of them are so wonderful to me and my kids.Never had a problem with my husband even whe n he lost his job till his daughter lives with us.

In my case am not giving my husband a choice..i was giving him a chance coz that's what i think i should do.

To all those who replied and took time to reply my post"Desperately Needs Help".I would like to say thank you all so much for your words.

Update: I just talked to my husband again tonight and his final word is he is not kicking his daughter out.SO i said to him ok then i have to move out with my kids.

I was so devastated coz he act like he is choosing his 25 y.o daughter in exchange for our 3 yr. old son and my two minor kids.

I was so hurt and can't help but cry coz it is very clear to me that he cares more about his daughter than his wife and child.

I am so confused now coz if i hav eto move out he said since he is not working.. he will have the custody of our 3 yr old son and i will end up paying him child support since am the one employed>

I can not live without our 3 yr. old son plus my two minor kids. What should I do? Please help.

I think your best option right now is to try talking to him one more time and I agree, moving out with your 3 kids will be a very loud and clear statement. It's not as easy as it sounds, I know, but you need to draw the line somewhere. Second of all, you can't evict her or call the police to evict her but there are court proceedings; I don't think that will do much good though since your husband wants her to stay. If that girl is getting child support, she should be contributing in the household and helping with the bills, even housework and can get a job flipping burgers if she wanted to, but she doesn't because she's taken advantage of you and your kindness. Your husband needs to have a talk with his daughter and you need to be firm about it too.

Thank you.. like i said i did talked to my husband about it every single day but nothing happened. The problem is my husband eventhough admitted to me a million times that he himself don't understand his own daughter being so selfish, and disrespectful still my husband DO NOT want to kick his daughter out of the house.

I have come to a point now that i am so so sick,feed up and so tired.

I have a family member like this.

In my opinion the best thing to do would be to calmly talk to your husband about your concerns about your step daughter and how you are going to help her reach her full potential as a mother. You are not helping her by taking responsibilities away from her. That should be clear to your husband. You could tell his that you want to make sure your grandson is safe and that he has a mother who can be proud of herself. To do that, you need to let her find her own way, but still support her.

It seems like the first thing you need is for your husband to be on your side and to show your step daughter that you are a united front and that you care, but will not be taken advantage of. You need to expect more from her and show her that she can live up to your expectations. Her life doesn't sound fun. It sounds like she is avoiding responsibilities, perhaps because she doesn't think she can handle it.

I am just speculating.

I wish you luck. I know it can be hard to deal with!

Thank u for ur time. I did that billlion times already But the problem is its myhusband who wants her to stay.

My Direct Responses to your exact questions:

1. Is it right for my husband to let me go through all this stress?

NO

2.Is it right for my husband to let his daughter lives with us and use me?And he is not even making any income for 2.6 years now?

His income has no bearing on this answer. In the right circumstances it would be okay. What you have described is not the right circumstances.

3.What is the legal way(if there is any) that i need to do to get my step daughter out of my house? They said in the state of GA you can not evict someone who lives with u for over 30 days and she live with us since 2009 till this very minute.

I think you misquoted what you were told. You have to evict her using the legal court process because she has established residence and has rights.

4. Should i just let my step daughter ruin my marriage? My hubby said he wont allow his daughter and grand son live on a street which i really do understand(His daughter's own mom won't even deal with her because of the way she is).

She isn't ruining your marriage, it would be your husband's actions (or inaction) that ruins it.

5.But what about me? this all causes me too much stress that is more than enough and too much for me to handle.

That's for you to answer.

6.When hubby and daughter argue he tells his daughter to get out but i knew he never really meant it.

Which is exactly why she acts the way she does.

i appreciate ur time.

1. I don't know what you mean by "right". It's not very nice but it's not illegal. She hasn't abused you. You are the bread-winner. If you wanted to leave you could afford to do so. You are not tied to the house so it could be said you put yourself through the stress. Do I think he should kick her out? Yes probably. It's obvious you are BOTH being used (remember it's not just about you).

2. You married him AND his family. How would you react if she was your child and he wanted her out? You would be upset that he isn't supporting your family when you would support his... You wouldn't let him kick your daughter out on the street in the same condition (I know I probably wouldn't). You are supporting the family. You are PART of the family and you have a say. It doesn't matter that he's not working, he too has a say.

When my stepdaughter first moved my hubby imposed rules on her and she was not planning to live with us this long.she said she will just need time to find her own place.Those rules were never followed. SHe is disrespectfull to her dad even.

Of course i would not kick my kids out if the situation is the other way around but my stepdaughter is 25 yr. old,getting child support ,,not paying any bills(her car is paid off) and she is very able to find a job and work.

3. I would see a lawyer about kicking her out, but because your husband lives there too he's allowed to have his "guests" stay. I would personally suggest you speak to your husband to figure out a solution that works for both of you. Would you be okay helping her get an apartment (i.e. giving her money for the security deposit)? What happens if you do that and she can't pay the rent, will your husband expect her to move back in? As someone else stated you need to have a united front. Would you be okay kicking the daughter out and letting the child stay (I would insist on signing over guardianship of the child so that you're covered legally but consider paying her the child support that you would be getting as a source of income for her and so she gets out).. because I think the child is what your husband is most concerned about, his daughter can get a job and what not but the child would be dragged

She gets monthly child support enough for her and her son.She don't wanna move out because in my house she has no bills and food to worry.She come and go, anytime she wants to.

4. Its up to you and your husband whether you let the situation ruin your marriage or not. You can give up or you can fight. You've been fighting for 2 years though so it might mean giving up and letting him realise what he's risking.

5. What about you? You earn the money. Move out and get your own place. What will he do then? You've allowed yourself to be used and by continuing to let yourself be used you're getting no respect. I think it's a ridiculous shame that you would let her come between you and your marriage but right now it doesn't read like your husband is fighting for the marriage at all. You should be open to a compromise, but what exactly would you want? Obviously she needs to get out but if she can't help herself... you might be forced to help her.

She just wanna take,take and take. She don't wanna work,dont wanna pay bills not even a dime.

6. This isn't really a question...

I'm not trying to be harsh. I don't think your husband understands exactly how this is affecting you. I don't think he understands that you really WILL leave if there isn't a compromise reached. I say compromise because I agree that kicking her out with a child would be hard (hence my suggestion above) but he also needs to realise that she can't be allowed to treat you both (all) like this. She's basically abandoned her child anyway. I think she's using the child, I think she knows that if she didn't have a child she'd be out on her butt.

Please read if u have time my reply to ur numbers 2 and 3 answers. thank u so much for ur time

I think your husband need to grow up and need to be little smart lol. He is concern about his adult daughter, but seems like did'nt think about your young children who really need to be taking care of first and need his support. But since he is currently still jobless and can't provide anything for the young kids, and your the one who supporting the family, then the least that he can do is talk to his daughter to save money and move out as possible as she can. About your quistion # 3, I will do more research about that online, coz I also heard about that before that you can't just evict someone who lives long enough with you, even so... I'm sure you probably have more legal rights, specially if you have a reason for kicking her out. should be more easier and possible for you if your husband is gonna support you about this, because he care also about you and your younger children than his 25 y.o daughter.

BUT.. if he really gonna insist that his daughter should really stay.. I guess you have to decide if you still willing stay and tolerate it or leave and stand for your self coz you think you have enough. Also it seems like you already done alot for him and for your marriage. It's his turn to do something for it.

All this time i've been very understanding and patient to the point of i am so sick and tired now of the situation. Over 2 years of everyday dealing with it is killing me softly.

Thank you for ur time, i really appreciate it.

Chances are if your husband is content to let her stay you will not be able to evict her. If you are unhappy in your marriage as a result of this your best bet is to a) talk to your husband b) begin couples and/or family therapy and c) consult with a lawyer regarding what your options are regarding having her move out. Honestly, though, even in the unlikely event you could legally force her out, doing so behind your husband's back probably won't help your marriage. So I would begin with steps a and b.

Thanks a lot for your time,i appreciate it

If what you say is true, that you have talked to your husband "a billion times", then it's obvious he isn't going to do anything, or change anything. I know it sounds harsh, but after talking with him a billion and one times, you need to get away from these people!!! Now, before you become a human slave. What you describe isn't love. Good luck!

thank u for your time.I am trying to save our marriage reason why i been sacrificing and suffering of all these.I always tell myself everything will be okay eventhough it is killing me slowly everyday. but instead of getting better it is now getting worst.

My Direct Responses to your exact questions:

1. Is it right for my husband to let me go through all this stress?

NO

2.Is it right for my husband to let his daughter lives with us and use me?And he is not even making any income for 2.6 years now?

His income has no bearing on this answer. In the right circumstances it would be okay. What you have described is not the right circumstances.

3.What is the legal way(if there is any) that i need to do to get my step daughter out of my house? They said in the state of GA you can not evict someone who lives with u for over 30 days and she live with us since 2009 till this very minute.

I think you misquoted what you were told. You have to evict her using the legal court process because she has established residence and has rights.

4. Should i just let my step daughter ruin my marriage? My hubby said he wont allow his daughter and grand son live on a street which i really do understand(His daughter's own mom won't even deal with her because of the way she is).

She isn't ruining your marriage, it would be your husband's actions (or inaction) that ruins it.

5.But what about me? this all causes me too much stress that is more than enough and too much for me to handle.

That's for you to answer.

6.When hubby and daughter argue he tells his daughter to get out but i knew he never really meant it.

Which is exactly why she acts the way she does.

Thank you for ur time . I am trying to save our marriage that is why i been suffering and sacrificing for over 2 years now.

I kicked my 18 year old daughter out of the house for much less.

Your husband should be supportive of you. You and him should be able to agree on how to deal with the situation. If not then you need to decide how far are you willing to push the matter.

Would you move yourself and the 3 kids out of the house if push comes to shove?

I already told my husband that if he is not gonna do something about it ,,i am sorry i love him but i have to move out of the house with my kids. But he just won't say a word everytime i tell him this.

I appreciate ur time.

My Direct Responses to your exact questions:

1. Is it right for my husband to let me go through all this stress?

NO

2.Is it right for my husband to let his daughter lives with us and use me?And he is not even making any income for 2.6 years now?

His income has no bearing on this answer. In the right circumstances it would be okay. What you have described is not the right circumstances.

3.What is the legal way(if there is any) that i need to do to get my step daughter out of my house? They said in the state of GA you can not evict someone who lives with u for over 30 days and she live with us since 2009 till this very minute.

I think you misquoted what you were told. You have to evict her using the legal court process because she has established residence and has rights.

4. Should i just let my step daughter ruin my marriage? My hubby said he wont allow his daughter and grand son live on a street which i really do understand(His daughter's own mom won't even deal with her because of the way she is).

She isn't ruining your marriage, it would be your husband's actions (or inaction) that ruins it.

5.But what about me? this all causes me too much stress that is more than enough and too much for me to handle.

That's for you to answer.

6.When hubby and daughter argue he tells his daughter to get out but i knew he never really meant it.

Which is exactly why she acts the way she does.

Can u please specify your answer to my question number 3? Are u saying i have to do it legally since my stepdaughter has already rights of residency for living with us in over 2 years?

Of course i want to do it legally so i won't be in trouble.thanks for all your replies.

This is only my opinion as I have had issues like this in the past.

Anytime there is a combined family there will eventually be issues.

You must be able to sit down with your husband and discuss what the options are and explain calmly that this is too much for you and that there has to be a united front with the two of you to deal with the daughter.

If she has to be on some kind of assistance then so be it. But she is old enough to look after her own family. Sometimes we have to pull the safety net out from under them and let them go. And I'll be the first to admit is very difficult to see our children struggle but the too must learn the lessons of life. If your husband isn't willing to help you find a solution as it is a family issue then you have some hard decisions to make. Be strong. As long as your husband allows his daughter to behave this way nothing can change.

I feel for you in this very difficult situation. You gave up so much to be with this man you love so much his daughter does not have the right to take this from the two of you like a petulant child throwing a tantrum.

Sorry if this sounds harsh but I have lived this scenario and am no longer with that man.

I knew my post is too long and i really thank u for taking the time to read. I did talked to my husband a billion times and he himself dont want his daughter to be homeless but i am the one suffering.

I love my family but i already told my husband i can not take it anymore..it's been over 2 years of stress physically, mentally , emotionally for me.

Hello Fellow VJ Members,

Hope everyone had a wonderful Thanksgiving. Please i apologise if this is a long story but please i need ur help.

Well..i am a member here for quite a while now( aka Happywifeymom).I never had serious issues with my husband till now.And please don't judge me ,,i just need any advice you can give me as i am sooo confused with what to do in my situation.

To make the story short..i am married with my USC husband for 4.6 years now with our 3 year old son plus my 2 kids from previous relationship with whom my husband petitioned through I-130 ( kids are with me since last year).

My husband's 25 yr. old daughter with her 3 yr. old son lives with us since July 2009 until now.

My hubby is unemployed since May 2009 until now and im the only one working full time with 7 people in the house.

Since his daughter and grand son lives with us..we started having issues and me and her daughter never get along(she's 25 and divorced 3 times already).

I work my butt off to pay the bills and all that, i even had 2 jobs before. Hubby is still unemployed.

Now my dilemma starts since 2009(when his daughter lives with us).

His daughter is very disrespectfull to my husband despite the fact that we give her and her son a roof over her head and food to eat.

She never helped me with the bill not even a single penny every month and she cost me more for water,electricty and everything else.She is not working but getting child support.

She never buys food and if she does she hides it in her room and puts her name on her food if the food needs to be refrigerated. SHe don't want nobody to touch her food ,eat her food but she eats whatever i buy for the family.

She makes a mess and her 3 yr.old son and she never even help

clean or look up to her own mess.

I love my husband so much and it never bother me at all if he is not working because of reasons beyond his control(health issues).

But his daughter is causing me too much stress for over 2 years now to the point that i don't wanna come home anymore if not for my kids.

Her daughter cares nothing but herself. SHe won't help or nothing and she gets child support from her ex and all she does is go to places everywhere ,partying with friends and all that,spends on cigarettes and branded stuff.

If she is home she will lock herself in her room all day in the puter and have me and hubby baby sits her 3 yr. old son.she only comes out of her room when she smells the food is ready.

Everyday me and hubby argue and it's all about his daughter.I felt like the daughter is just using me and taking advantage of me and i am sooo sick and so tired to the point of almost giving up.I love my family and don't wanna be a broken family plus ilove my husband so much.

Here are my concerns:

1. Is it right for my husband to let me go through all this stress?

2.IS it right for my husband to let his daughter lives with us and use me?And he is not even making any income for 2.6 years now?

3.WHat is the legal way(if there is any) that i need to do to get my step daughter out of my house? They said in the state of GA you can not evict someone who lives with u for over 30 days and she live with us since 2009 till this very minute.

4. SHould i just let my step daughter ruin my marriage? My hubby said he wont allow his daughter and grand son live on a street which i really do understand.( His daughter's own mom won't even deal with her because of the way she is).

5.But what about me? this all causes me too much stress that is more than enough and too much for me to handle.

6,When hubby and daughter argue he tells his daughter to get out but i knew he never really meant it?

Pleaseeeeeeeeee i am begging for your advice. I just don't wanna give up and regret later ,ruin my marriage that i tried to build just because of his daughter.

Thank you so very much.

i have a k2 minor child but still bothering me about getting a permission from his father bc first of all we're not married & he doesn't really give a FULL support. my parents & i we're the one who raced him up from the very start even financially. but the thing is, he signed to his birth certificate & i asked about it from one of the lawyers here that our law here is the mother is the one's authorized for his children, legitimate or illegitimate. but still skeptical bc i wanted to be sure about this bc i want my child to be with me ones we get approved. i dunno what would be the USEM would feel about that. PLS HELP thank you

My 2 kids were illigitimate. The father's name was on their birth certificate and my kids are even using the biological father's name until now.Never had a problem as long as u two were not married legally. U have the sole custody of y9ur child.

hello vj members,

I want to ask how many forms do we need to fill up the forms I-130 forms? as u can see the forms there is information from the petitioner and the alien relative. and which they can see all the information about us. my question is do we need to submit two copies from my husband and one from me in separate forms? and will be sign by my husband as petitioner.

Thanks,lady23

Love is lovelier the second time around Den.Glad u will spend ur christmas here.Pagdla ug bulad.

Thanks for the replies. All is well here. I should never sit around and read sites like dragonladies.org in my spare time, which i did yesterday in my spare time between football games.. My love really did none of the things they warned to be careful of. .

As for us. My soon to be, speaks perfect English and comes from a family that does not need help from me.. I have a good job, no kids. I have lots of Pinay/American couple friends already here.. She has already met one of my couple friends when they were visiting there, and her and the Pinay wife hit it off immediately. and have become good friends. I already eat supper once a week with three other Pinay/American couples. So she will already have at least two good friends here that she has been talking to for several months. We have big dances here at Christmas and Valentines sponsored by the Philippine/A,American society , some of which I have already been to and know many of the members. I am very open to her culture and it will be part of our lives.

So I am hoping it will help that she will already have other Pinay here that she knows and talks to and can get advice from. These are good women who have been married 8-10 years and have kids by their American husband.

Of course there is so much to do. She will not work, but I am guessing she will get bored with that quickly. I have told her she can go back to school some, work part-time, volunteer, or stay home, whatever she likes .

And of course I have to teach her to drive. That should be fun. I have a truck and a souped up 08 Mustang GT pulling over 400 HP. Guess which on she wants to learn to drive in. She does not know it but I am looking at a Prius for her . LOL

Anyway thanks for all the positive replies, I needed that. I guess like any marriage you never know but in my heart I think I am making the right choice.

Oh and as far as what people think. I never really cared about that. Some people think I have gone nuts. I have had a few comments like "so your getting a wife/Slave" blah blah blah. I just generally laugh it off, and can usally look at them and say,, You have been married how many times " ? or didn't you just tell me last week how mean your wife was. My sister told me I had lost my mind then 1 month later filed for divorce from a husband she has not loved in 20 years... so there you go. It's right for us and that is all that matters.

I do have a crazy ex-GF that has vowed that I will not do this, and has sent my fiancee and her brother messages on FB. She still rides by and texts but I really think once she is here that will stop. That is the only problem we have had.

Like any relationship it takes work and I pray this one will be a good one. Thanks

Been Happilly Married 4 yrs. and 6 months.The first year was an adjustment period but in the long run LOVE conquers all. My 2 kid from previous relationship is here with us now and nothing has change. We just love each other more so we have a 3 yr. old son who looks exactly like his dad. It really depends on both of u.Take a lot of effort to make any relationship work.

Hi guys,

I am currently here in Houston Tx under K1 visa. I have 2 kids left in the Philippines and they do not have passport yet.Me and my husband wants to get them here in the next few months. I want to know if any of you guys here know how will my kids apply for passport without my appearance since it says on DFA website one of the requirements for applying for passport for minors is appearance of either parents. I am very much hoping for your help and advice. Thanks everyone and God bless you all!

I came here on a K1 visa and later my hubby petitioned my 2 kids thru I-130. My kids were able to get their passport with out me.It was my mom who accompanied my minor kids in getting their passports but still u have to go through a lot of documentation and such.

You hav to have authenticated documents from here to be sent to whoever is applying for the passport.

Oh no ! My fiances daughter has a misspelling on her birth certificate! She will be getting a K-2 visa. On her birth certificate her moms(my fiance's) middle name is spelled Puluto and should be spelled Peluto ! The interview is next week ! All her other documents passport, babtismal,etc are spelled correctly ..Will this be a problem at the interview? How can we change to correct spelling through the NSO?

Go to a public lawyer and have an affidavit of Explanation. Been there done that.

her hubby keep insisting that they will just do k1 since immigration not really favor in proxy married but her hubby keep insisting too that he knows everything and still put married on form...i wish he really know what he doing cuz on what i read its really impossible to do k1 but still put married..besides they didnt registered their paper in nso saying they really married..

if she puts Married by proxy then she is not eligible for K1 coz K1 is for those who are not married YET. Whatever lies they are planning to put on the immigration form once caught..they will have a big problem in the future.

Dear Friends,

Hope everyone here is fine. Can anyone share to me your experience/s during visa interview at US Embassy particularly for those who applied for K-1 with K-2 (13 and 7 y/o)? I'm just curious...what are the questions they normally ask for kids ? I'm quite worried, hopefully my kids can answer the consul confidently. Any inputs ? Thank you all in advance. I would appreciate any replies God bless!

My kids 13 and 9 had their interview by themselves last year eventhough my mom was their companion. They were asked basic questions about me and the petitioner, birthdays, what we do for a living> and dont forget to bring photos of u with the kids..i did not know about that when my kids had their interview good thing my mom brought some.