MatthewNCarolina

Okay, I KNOW it's no fun to be in a long distance relationship, and that there's no reason to romanticize it and make it out to be something that it's not. I also know that the little things that most people take for granted are exactly the kind of normalcy that we crave when we are apart, but there ARE things you can do when you're apart to make it more romantic, and fun.

That's true, it's not like the movies but it still a good thing this kind of relationship. People just shouldn't go crazy over it lol

Stuart and I send each other romantic love letters through the mail, on fancy papers even. (I perfume mine too!) It's so fun to run to the mailbox and see if we have mail! We download the same movie and start it at exactly the same time to watch it together. We wake each other up each morning, and say goodnight to each other every night on the phone, sometimes even falling asleep together. (I love to listen to him breathe!) We leave things for each other to find after we go. (I tried to leave a nightie for him once but he thought I missed it in packing and it ended up coming home with me, but I can't tell you how awesome it is to have something of each others to hold and smell them on it, so a sweater is perfect as you can put it on if it's his, or snuggle it if it's hers) When Stuart opens up his medicine cabinet, he sees my toothbrush, and can picture me there with him. When I open up my sock drawer, I see a pair of his socks and it makes me think of him. We talk a few hours a day (unlimited north america plan, or would be a 4000$ a month phone bill) and we play games against each other on the computer. (I kick his #### at skype Chinese Checkers!) He sings me love songs, and I sing goofy ones back to him We've bought the same groceries and ingredients, and used the same recipes and shared the same meals together, even decorating the table in the same way.

Matt and I share a lot of things too, he's always teaching me something new, about his neighborhood (never been there), his work, his family. We have our own game that we play when we're bored, helps a lot though lol He tries to find the brazilian food and drinks there, and I try to find stuff he likes to eat and drink here.

Everytime he comes to Brazil he leaves with me a shirt that he wore during our last day together, so it has his smell in it. I always leave something important with him too, last time was a special ring I had and it became the one he used to propose me! ... plus few other things.

As to planning the wedding, yes, we make some preliminary plans... I already have my dress, shoes and necklace, and we have a few options that we are looking at. Our favourite is totally dependent on if we can buy a house we both fell in love with when I was there last, and that's IF it's still for sale when I sell mine here in order to come up with the downpayment for it. It overlooks the water and has a deck right on the river that we'd be crazy not to set up there, the views are amazing there. We'd hire a barbeque caterer to roast a pig and corn for us, and bring in musicians. If we can't get that house, then there's a place we went to for drinks that offers wedding and reception services, and it should be able to accommodate us even at short notice given the time of year we'll be looking, I have to sell my house and waiting for Montreal, I'm crazy to think that I'll get my visa before september, and have my house sold too, so maybe a Halloween wedding even? Who knows?

So share some stories, and wedding ideas on here, lets's make this a fun group, while you're at it, share how you met too... Stuart and I met playing an online game called Evony, it had a chat function... he was chatting to some people and I thought he was funny so I said hi to him, we started chatting more and it just went on from there. Cupid had a malfunction that day, one of his arrows veered WAAAAY off course!

It's hard to start planning by now, especially because we don't know when we'll be approved. But I started seeing which dress I like the most, I already found one. Actually I have a few options, lol can't get enough of that! Also been learning a lot about the traditions over there, how to make a real american wedding and I'm loving it, discovering new things and sharing all of that with him it's great. We decided the colors has a long time too, and that'll be a small ceremony and reception. Hopefully I can get to marry in October/November, so the wheater will be nice still. Winter for me is ARGH! I'm from summer land, hot sun, beaches and sand..

We met online, in a chatroom... became friends, would talk everyday for hours and hours and after a few months talking, we realized love was in the air lol After that, 2/3 months later, we finally met in person and our relationship became official.

Share you story, people! Let's make this thread the best one!

Carolina

well i might be the crazy one. we were thinking to make a small ceremony in american style when i get there, dressed goth since we're both metalheads. so im planning to order a black and red gothic dress for the small party in america and then do it in romanian style at my place next summer.

Thats very different yet nice, bet it'll look awesome! Metalheads lol Good way to explain... I also want to do that, a small ceremony and party and then do one in brazil for my family and friends. Good luck

You are not crazy. However, we are planning on just doing a civil ceremony in the 90 day timeframe and then maybe later renewing our vows/planning something small. I can't imagine trying to set something up, especially if something happens and the visa isn't issued in time. It's just not very feasible.

LOL glad to know I am not! But that's cool, why not try a small ceremony, just for the family and close friends? That's what we're gonna do, something small yet romantic, for family and and friends... and something easy to plan. And you're right, I couldn't plan a huge princess wedding with this short time, and its not what we want anyway. This visa thing is the only difficult part, makes everything so hard , and good luck with your journey and wedding

Definitely, long distance relationships are not fun at all. People goes crazy with movies and novels, books, etc... That doesn't happen in real life. THIS IS REAL LIFE, waiting for a visa, stressed, feeling lonely, upset, missing somebody so bad that even your soul hurts when you think about it.

There's only one good thing about this distance, and I have to say... When we get to be with the ones we love, for good... we, most of the times and most of us, appreciate our partners and our relationship way more than others that can be together every single day, 24/7. For us, it's more special to be together, every moment we can spend together is the most amazing thing, even if it's only laying down together, going to the store or just talking, but if it's person... it becomes the most important moment in your life, the most romantic, etc.

Anyway, I'd like to know from the girls here... Any of you are starting to plan the wedding? I know its hard to plan something when you don't even know when it's gonna happen BUT, for me, since we only have 3 months to plan once we get there and I don't know anything where my fiancé lives, I'm starting to see what I can do or choose from now, so when it comes to the right time, I won't be lost and asking for hahaha

So, any of you girls are already looking for something? Planning? or am I crazy for doing that? LOL

Carolina

My Fiancé wants to drive me around, show me where he works, where his family works, take me to the market to choose and buy stuff I need. Then he wants to get me english classes as soon as possible, so I'll be able to study in the future. I'm also applying for my driver license here in Brazil, so when I get in the U.S I can have my own car and do my own stuff.

You should do exactly what she did to you in Vietnam, drive her around, show where she can buy stuff, take her to restaurants she might like the food (try to stay away from fast-food, you don't want your wife fat, right? ). Also try to always be with her, even if you have to work, when you come back home make sure to spend some time together, remember it's a new country and it's hard for her to adjust, some people take a while and missing family, friends and traditions makes it ever harder.

Find out things she'd like to do, her interests, don't try to turn her into an ''american'' girl, try to find some food from her country though, so she won't miss it too bad.

But the most important thing is, love her. With your care and love, she'll be fine and will adjust Good Luck!

Carolina.

I plan on drawing her a bubble bath the first night to help her relax and recover from Jet Lag (22hrs in the air), she never experienced bubble bath before. I will give her a Tour de Atlanta overt he weekend.

Now that's a good idea man... you just added to my plans LOL. My plan was to just get her here... I know she'll be tired and overwhelmed on the first day, so I was going to unpack her stuff with her and sort it out... if she wants to lay down, fine. I'll rest with her. I'll show her around the house, and outside... I'm still with my mother and father so I'm sure they'll be trying to make sure she's fine, constantly ask her if she wants anything, maybe want to ask her many questions lol. They've not met her in person, i can only go visit her. They're dying to have her here. I'll probably be worrying too much, even the first day... making sure she's okay, asking the same thing haha. I just love her so much, it'll be natural. But maybe after a few days, I'll start the driving her around and showing her common places we/I go for things.

It'll be a long road and with obstacles but I'm looking forward to it... much worse being seperated... Nice topic!

Matt

Distance it's what it kills everything, gets you stressed, worried, upset, etc.

But you have to know each other very well, if one is upset, the other person has to be there, give support, be positive. It's a long and difficult process, for a relationship, and most of us can't be with the one we love very often. I'm one of them, just had 1 amazing/perfect month with my man, hardest thing to do is say goodbye, not knowing when you'll see each other again, how long it'll take, (since I have no tourist visa to U.S, to visit him), but we know each other, know our love.

This is the most important thing, know each other and what you have. Arguments, we never had. Even if things are not okay, we're always there for each other.

The couples who has arguments very often, has to be strong, to think back before saying something that could ruin the relationship, has to be always there for each other.

AND at last but not least, we all need patience. Keep the feeling alive :)

Carolina

Dats one of the hardest thing..I always cry when am saying goodbye...I'm glad you had fun..But honestly it never a goodbye, because you guys would see each other soon..We're already in the second month,and May is almost finish..Lets all hang in there...

Yes you're so right. It's one of the hardest things to do. The hardest thing I've ever done for sure. And you're right, it's never a goodbye. We always say "bye for now" whether it's in person or online. Crying is impossible to resist in this... We made it rain tears on our laps when waiting for my boarding time for my flight. Never knew I could cry as much as I have in this whole thing! And yes... let's all hang in there. It may be biased to say but I think we March filers are the coolest!

Hey all... hope everyone's keeping heads up and feet down (unless you dance because of NOA2 approval LOL)... just telling everyone to hang in there. I just returned home today... I had to walk away from my angel after about one month together. I ask myself how I do it... how I walk away. I let go and walk and turn around and see her crying and her pain of watching me go... wow. It all seems like a blur too. Seems like I spent only a week or even just a few days with her. I wish that time would be this fast while being apart. We did talk though... just before I was leaving... I said how "it's good that we enjoy each other that much..." I spent 25 days with her the first meeting.... this time almost 30... Around each other constantly and not one bad moment.

Hang in there, me and her now are trying to adjust back to distance. Nobody here is alone

Matt

congratulations

Good Luck with your petition, and remember to always be patient.

Take care,

Carolina & Matthew

Please avoid affixing your own frustrations to a circumstance where they may not apply.

There's no ''own frustrations'', especially because we just sent our petition has less than 2 months, so, we're in time. You can't say that doesn't bother you seeing their story, being approved then suddenly this changes because of USCIS' mistake. Maybe you do not get bothered because if we follow your timeline, we can see clearly that you have your fianceé/wife with you. I feel for this couple, and no, can't avoid expressing my opinions over such a big mistake. And if it was with you, or with me... then things change, right?

Carolina.

Welcome to K1 visa journey, and get ready to waaaait to your NOA2 lol Good Luck!

Matthew & Carolina

One more reply. I can't believe this ######. They make a mistake because of their incompetence... while you wait a grueling 6+ months... emotional damage. This is very hard. You hang on a thread every single day, just waiting for approval. You GOT your approval. I hope nobody tries to defend USCIS and says in this thread "they are human too, we all make mistakes." That's obvious... but look at this...

When you break something, you either fix it or buy something to replace it. That was your mistake, accident, your fault. USCIS should have bit the bullet on this. It wouldn't hurt a thing either, because I'm sure USCIS has approved people left and right who are going to betray their "lover". This was their mistakes, they should have let it slide... let it go. You should have been given a reason. The way they give the CUSTOMER a runaround on everything, is absolutely out of line. If they were a small business, well... we wouldn't be having a discussion because they would have died within less than a year's time.

Too much money, too much power... makes them not give a F*** about you or me. Call a senator... even though 30 days is shorter than what they told you in the beginning.. a congressman might put that into motion within days. As my fiancee said in the previous post.. you have already been approved and you are out of that timeframe. And as far as I'm concerned.. this recall is not part of the process anyway. That's just my THREE cents!

Take care and I hope this gets resolved very quickly for you.

Hey, what you really should do is, FIGHT for your rights. They are over the 5.0 months timeline they give you in the USCIS website, you got approved and why would they change it? At least you they should let you know what's the reason!!! Get a senator/congressman to do SOMETHING for you!!!! Go for your rights!!!

We all wait patiently for this process, and they are supposed to be doing their jobs which is review all the applications BEFORE approval. DON'T GET LAZY or waaaait, do something, make somebody help you.

They pretty much showed how IDIOTIC they all are with our applications, I'm so sorry to hear that happened to you but do not lose your hope, fight for your rights.

Matthew & Carolina

Im pissed off because I cant stand the wait. Basically the same reason you are. I filed my petition at CSC so Im just hoping they get it done so I can moooooooooooove on with next step. This journey is torture. I cannot function properly anymore its ridiculous. This site should offer counseling hahahaha .

That's it!!!! let it out! It really really is a shame for real. We didnt really make this because we were really pissed off, this thread was just an idea. I'm sure I will be pissed off many more times ahead lol. Keep faith... it will come. I kinda agree with the counseling joke lol

Carolina

that's true. every day counts. well at least you have a job i consider it to be an awsome thing. i stay constantly inside the house, maybe go out once a week to buy something. since i started with all the visa things my "friends" avoid me like plague so i have to make myself busy however i can so i wont go crazy

I stay at home too most of the time, if not at home going out to do something like before, get things ready to send the I-129F, or the information and forms my fiancé needed from me. But my situation is different, I'm the one avoiding my friends, mostly because all of them doesn't understand why I want to marry and live in another country. They think I'm crazy for doing such a thing. Anyway, keep your faith and hope, and don't bother for what other people say, if you know that your love is true, just keep going. One day closer to be together forever worths more than any gossip sh**..

Take care,

Carolina.

Hello everyone... just a topic to make you all talk about whatever is making you pissed off with this ''visa journey''... (not the website, of course)...

I'll start... I'm pissed off with Vermont that still behind California. They have to speed it up MORE!

Your turn now

So, LET'S HEAR YOU!

If you both live in Brazil right now, and are both pretty sure (you seem to be) that you will remain in Brazil living together permanently... what's your reason for getting married in the US?

As I said before, we want to plan it together. We do not want to plan our wedding separate from one another, meaning we don't want to plan the wedding in separate countries from one another.

Is there someone that can just answer my question?

All of the responses are much appreciated, but I need someone who can give me a definitive answer...

Man, it's SIMPLE. When you applied for the visa, you have to read the rules.. and one of them is.. when your fianceé first enter the U.S, you'll have 3 months to marry. If it's a marriage certificate or a huge ceremony (like it seems that's what you want), it doesn't matter for them.. you HAVE TO GET MARRIED and show them your certificate (then do whatever you have to, for the rest of the visa process).

So, if you don't want to do that separated, start planning NOW, because of being apart. etc... I'm sorry but the only possible answer is..

If you don't marry in a courthouse, simple stuff, no ceremony, no nothing, just the certificate.. THEN you'll only have 3 months to plan a ceremony the way you and your fianceé wants. And that's it. We all know that since the beggining. Your fianceé has 6 months to enter the U.S, but since she gets there, you'll have only 3 months to plan the ceremony or whatever you wanna do. Simple.

Carolina.

Hey, here is the right place.. you'll learn to have patience, and keep strong... We also started our ''journey'' has 20 days only.. I wish you both good luck, lots of love and patience... and that everythings goes smooth for you and me! Keep us updated!

Carolina & Matthew

Hey, my fiance (Matt), when he sent our package, he made a copy petition, with everything he sent to USCIS. He's coming to Brazil and will leave it with me, so, for the interview, whatever they request I'll have it here, plus the other documents and forms they really need. Guess it's a good idea to leave a copy petition with your fiance, just in case. Good luck!

Carolina & Matthew

I never bothered to sign up for anything.. this is my first time to find out what a touch is too

Ahh but you're way ahead of me! Congratulations though, I guess it this long journey has been worthing for both huh? And this was just a little doubt, seen many couples that don't even have their petitions ''touched''.

Beautiful pics!

Carolina and Matthew.

Yes you have to create an account with your case number, username and password and all.

https://egov.uscis.gov/cris/Dashboard.do

Ah okay, I saw this " Sign-up for Case Updates", and we got confused because it says for ''multiple cases'', so we thought it didnt't apply for us, but I didn't see this right above it! haha Thankyou for your explanation, I appreciate it And I've seen many couples that didn't have any ''touches'' either, guess it really depends.

Good luck with everything.

Carolina and Matthew.

When you first log in to Case Status on USCIS, there are 4 columns or so, Emal Alerts, Mobile Alerts, Last Updated, etc. But look at the date under the 'Last Udated' column, if the date changed we call it a touch.

Wait, do I have to create an account for that? Because I go to USCIS' website, on the left side put my number and it logs in, then there I see only where it says Initial Review, or to see the processing times. Nothing about what you said, so I suppose I should create an account there to see that?

Thanks,

Carolina