FormerlyKnownAs

Thanks, all. I will be waiting at least until after the first of July. I was there in February and things were different, not in a good way either. I usually stay in Zamalek, at a very safe flat with 24 hour security. There used to be a very visible police presence there, but I saw no police in February. The doorman at the building even gave me difficulty, asking for my passport many times (he was told that he had no business with my passport, but he came up to the flat and rang the bell to get it no less than 5 times), which has never happened before. I've stayed in this particular building, with this particular doorman, 3 times before and this is the first time I felt like things were strained. I stayed inside most of the trip, only going out to dinner one night and visiting the market downstairs inside my building.

I've been to Egypt 6 times now, three in the last year... Since the revolution. I was there March 2011 and September 2011, but my February 2012 visit was enough to give me pause. Than you all for your views. I know that my SO tells me it's not safe, but I wasn't sure if he's just overly protective right now. Guess it doesn't matter, really. I'm worried and that means I'll be waiting.

Hi ladies (and gentlemen),

Wanted to pop in here and see if any of you are currently in Egypt. I'd like to plan a trip, but it seems a little nuts there right now. Opinions?

Thanks, all!

I'm 5'5 1/2" and my man is 5' 11". The half inch is important to me, but my man loves that I'm "short". I keep trying to tell him that I'm average, but he insists that I'm short anyway! So glad to read that other women count the half inch too!

There certainly are some happy endings. You'll get a mixed bag of responses, but just keep in mind that only YOU know what kind of relationship you have with your husband. As long as you're being smart about things and you've made yourself aware of the fact that these things sometime result in the younger man using the older woman, you've done as much as you need to do. It's your relationship, don't let anyone here tell you it's wrong. Educate yourself, be smart and vigilant. That's all you can do. If you're feeling happy and secure about things, don't feel bad reading the horror stories. Those are stories about other people in other situations.

I've come to understand that VJ is incredibly helpful for support from those who've been down a similar road re the visa process, not so much the best place to get support for your relationship. It can be especially brutal for those women who happen to be in relationships with younger MENA men. Some people just can't resist the temptation to tear you down and explain to you in no uncertain terms that you must be a fool. Take it all with a grain of salt.

All the best to you.

This is absolutely brilliant news! So happy for you. I can't imagine the joy you must be feeling.

Don't you also have to maintain domicile in the US? My understanding is that while you may go to be with your fiance for the wait, you will also have to keep a permanent address in the US.

Someone please let me know if this is right or wrong.

As previously stated, the problem won't be on the US end of this deal... He may not be allowed to leave (and return to) Egypt without fulfilling his mandatory military service. I have heard that they will not make you serve if you are married to a foreigner, but I have also heard that they don't care these days. The US, however, couldn't care less.

I'm leaving in about 6 hours. Will let you all know how it goes. I will be allowed into the embassy if there's an emergency, won't be staying too far from there. I registered with STEP. If things are ugly, I'll head to the embassy and high tail it out of there.

My ex-husband did exactly this same thing to me and now he's my ex for good reason. This is emotional cheating, whether he did anything physically or not. I'm very sorry you're going through this, I know it almost broke me. I did exactly what you did... I asked my ex to stop contacting this woman because I saw where she had said all kinds of rotten things about me. She told him I didn't deserve him and he was too good for me. He told me he would stop talking to her and when I found out he was still going out to lunch with her regularly (even though she was also married and "Nothing is going on!"), I told him we needed to split up. The lying is more hurtful than people realize. The deception is more than most people can tolerate in a relationship and my belief in my case was that we could never recover what trust he had crushed by lying and hiding things from me.

I'm very very sorry. Be strong and get some counseling if you feel like it would benefit you to have someone to talk to.

Best advice I can give has already been given. Try to breathe and enjoy yourself. It's really easy to get so overwhelmed that the day just feels like a blur. Take it easy and try to have fun.

Thank you all for your replies. I usually stay in a secure flat in Zamalek and don't venture out when things are this tense. I realize that people there are desperate and that any foreigners (especially Americans right now) are seen as targets by many. I know it's very dangerous in some places at some times, I'm just wondering if I can relatively safely manage a 10 day trip. There's no real way to know for sure, I suppose. Anything could happen. Hm. Postponement might be in order.

I was also there 3 times last year. March, June and September/October. I didn't really feel unsafe at all, stayed in a "safe" part of town and just kept a low profile. Will definitely register with the embassy.

Thanks so much for the reply and good luck! I keep up with things as much as possible here, wishing you all the best with your fiance when he arrives.

So I'm supposed to fly over Weds. afternoon and I'm having second thoughts. The trip was planned well in advance, but with the current state of affairs, I'm considering postponing. I wanted to know if any of you have paid a recent visit to Cairo (in the last couple of weeks) or live there. Can you tell me how you felt, safety wise? Thanks all!

Tried to edit to add this, but I was too slow:

P.S. Incidentally, the serial cheater has since apologized and begged for forgiveness, but I don't have any interest in being friends with him AT ALL. Guess why he's begging to get back into my good graces... Because he's married and NOW he wants to cheat WITH ME! Leopards... Spots. Disgusting.

Ladies and gentlemen, if your SO is a cheater just move on. You can do better. There are lots of people out there who'd never cheat. Let the cheaters pair up with each other and live happily ever after. Karma is great like that.

I tried to give a cheater another chance... In fact, I tried to give the same cheater several chances because he was a serial offender. Know why? Because he knew I would stand for it after the first time I forgave him AND the motivation to cheat didn't go away just because he got caught! Cheaters have their reasons for cheating, those don't go away miraculously. Seriously, once they get away with it once and see that you're sticking around, it just makes it easier to do it again and again.

That was a long time ago and I'm a much more secure person now. Never again. If my SO cheats on me, in any stage of the relationship, he'll be out the door and out of my life for good.

Nothing here in soooo long. I really miss Egyptian food!

Thank you so much, Gary and Alla. Very helpful!

Thank you for the responses. My children have some time before they hit 18, so it doesn't apply directly to my situation (for awhile at least). I just wondered about that question because it seems like I've seen both answers that I've gotten here... Just not sure which is correct. I would always assume you'd want to err on the side of caution and include them, but I wasn't sure if it's required.

I would just like to be as educated as possible about the process and requirements. Thanks again.

I am divorced with 2 teenagers of whom I have primary custody. Their father pays me a fair amount of support. My household size will be 4 including my fiance. I know that I need to make 125% of poverty guideline for household size. Does child support count at all toward the "income" as it goes to help support the children who make up half the household size?

Second question... How do the powers that be view children over the age of 18 living at home? I would assume they're still considered my responsibility (they'll be that for a long time), but does it change things when they're "of age" or no longer a minor? What if they live with me, but are contributing to their living expenses? Just really wondering, not exactly a direct issue of mine, but it might help someone else and I've always wondered.

I have poked around here for awhile and I won't have a problem with the income requirement, but I've never seen a good answer to these questions just because I haven't seen them asked directly. Anyone have any idea? Is there a better place for me to post this question?

Thanks all! Any insight would be appreciated.

Wow! Big congratulations to you!!

I wanted to just take a moment to thank everyone who's been kind to me since I joined up here in January. There are some awesome people here and you're truly appreciated. Long distance relationships are so difficult, even more so as an American having a relationship with someone from MENA, it's a real joy to have a place to talk to those who've walked in those shoes and come out relatively unscathed on the other side.

Aly - So happy to read about your interview date. Best of luck to you and your husband!

I've been extremely fortunate on my trips. I've never encountered "the hole", thank goodness. The restroom in the airport was super clean, but the attendant was all over me. The only restrooms I had to use in Alex were the one in the library and one in a nice seafood restaurant. All the ones in Cairo that I've been in have been clean too, especially the one at the Golden Stars VIP cinema! That one was first class. I just make sure if I'm going to be at the market (Khan al Khalili, I jokingly call it LiLi Market since I get made fun of for my pronunciation), I use the restroom before I head down there. Lord knows any restroom I find down there is going to be questionable!

Hi all, happy November!

Important Question: What is the household size of the joint sponsor? This will help people give you some actual figures.

Loved EgyptAir when I flew them from Cairo to NYC. I heard bad things about them too, but didn't have any problems.

I always check a couple of sites like www.skyscanner.com and momondo.com as well as directly with the airlines. I've always had really good luck that way.