This is a collection of cool quotes. Some are funny, some are inspirational.

[hampster 0]

A wise man washes his hands after he pees.

A wiser man doesn't pee on his hands.

~Unknown.

You can pretend to be serious;

you can't pretend to be witty.

~ Sacha Guitry

If you go parachuting, and your parachute doesn't open,

and your friends are all watching

you fall, I think a funny gag would be to

pretend you were swimming.

~ Jack Handey

Popularity comes from allowing yourself

to be bored by people while pretending to enjoy it

~ Karol Newlin

If you're going to do something tonight

that you'll be sorry for tomorrow

morning,....sleep late. ~Henny Youngman

If you wish to glimpse inside a human soul

and get to know a man, don't bother analyzing

his ways of being silent, of talking, of weeping,

of seeing how much he is moved by noble ideas;

you will get better results if you just watch him laugh.

If he laughs well, he's a good man.

~Fyodor Dostoyevski </B></I>

A meeting is a gathering of important people

who singly can do nothing, but together

can decide that nothing can be done.

~Fred Allen

"We should be careful to get out of an experience only the wisdom

that is in it - and stop there; lest we be like the cat that sits down on a

hot stove-lid. She will never sit down on a hot stove-lid again---and that is well;

but also she will never sit down on a cold one anymore. "

~~ Mark Twain

"We wish to find the truth, no matter where it lies.

But to find the truth we need imagination and skepticism both.

We will not be afraid to speculate, but we will be careful to

distinguish speculation from fact."

~~Carl Sagan

Security is mostly a superstition.

It does not exist in nature, nor do the children of men

as a whole experience it. Avoiding danger is no safer

in the long run than outright exposure.

Life is either a daring adventure, or nothing.

~Helen Keller

The world today is hungry not only for bread but hungry for love;

hungry to be wanted, to be loved.

~ Mother Teresa

And life is what we make it.

Always has been, always will be.

--Grandma Moses

"When one door of happiness closes, another opens;

but often we look so long at the closed door that we

do not see the one which has been opened for us."

~Helen Keller (1880-1968)

"People are like stained-glass windows.

They sparkle when the sun is out,

but when the darkness sets in,

their true beauty is revealed

only if there is a light from within. "

--Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

The sweetest things that your lips shall touch are mine.

~Peachez

"Love is like a mousetrap;

you go in when you wish,

but you don't come out when you like"

~~Spanish Proverb

I have always felt sorry for people afraid of feeling,

of sentimentality, who are unable to weep with their

whole heart. Because those who do not know how

to weep do not know how to laugh either.

~ Golda Meir

That best portion of a good man's life--

His little, nameless, unremembered,

acts of kindness and of love.

~William Wordsworth

You make believe that nothing is wrong until you're cryin'

You make believe life is so long until you're dyin'......

~Limp Bizkit

"A very short one".

--Jeanne Calment, Oldest known living person, 120,

commenting on what sort of future she anticipated.

The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want,

drink what you don't like and do what you'd rather not.

~Mark Twain [1835-1910]

"Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company."

Mark Twain

After the game the king and the pawn go in the same box.

~Italian proverb

You miss 100% of the shots you don't take...

~ Wayne Gretzky

"I could while away the hours,

Conferrin' with the flowers,

Consultin' with the rain,

And my head I'd be scratchin'

While my thoughts were busy hatchin',

If I only had a brain!"

~The Scarecrow~

If we just worry about the big picture, we are powerless.

So my secret is to start right away doing whatever little work

I can do. I try to give joy to one person in the morning, and

remove the suffering of one person in the afternoon. . . .

That is the secret. Start right now.

– Sister Chän Khöng

Tell a man there are 300 Billion stars in the universe

and he'll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint on it

and he'll have to touch to be sure.

~Unknown

~Don't try to reason with your heart~

~or feel with your mind~

~for just as the heart knows no logic~

~the mind can't lead you to your soul.~

~Unknown

"The happy person is the one who finds

occasions for joy at every step. He does

not have to look for them, he just finds them."

~Ossian Lang

"The Holocaust was an obscene period in our nation's history...

this century's history.... We all lived in this century.

I didn't live in this 20th century."

~Dan Quayle, then Indiana senator and

Republican vice~presidential candidate during a

news conference in which he was asked his opinion

of the Holocaust

<A href="http://members.aol.com/beardog632/quote1.htm" Alt="">Dan Quayle's Best

Before you criticize someone,

walk a mile in his shoes.

Then when you do criticize that person,

you'll be a mile away and have his shoes!

~Frieda Norris

There are two types of people in this world,

good and bad. The good sleep better,

but the bad seem to enjoy the waking

hours much more.

- Woody Allen</FONT> How far you go in life depends on your being tender with the young,

compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving,

and tolerant of the weak-because some day you will have been all of these...

~George Washington Carver

"It is difficult to give away kindness.

It keeps coming back to you"

~~ Cort Flint

I send no agent or medium,

offer no representative of value,

but offer the value itself.

~~Walt Whitman, Carol of Occupations (1855),

in Leaves of Grass "An expert is an ordinary fellow from another town."

~J. Vernon McGee There is no mistake so great

as that of always being right !!!

~My Fortune Cookie

There are 3 kinds of people:

Those who can count,

and those who cannot.

~George Carlin

If a man will begin with certainties,

he shall end with doubts;

but if he will be content to begin with doubts,

he shall end in certainties.

-- Sir Francis Bacon, 1561-1626

"The biggest cause of trouble in the world today

is that the stupid people are so sure about things

and the intelligent folks are so full of doubts."

~~Bertrand Russell

Here's a health to the company, and one to my lass.

Let's drink and be merry all out of one glass.

Let's drink and be merry all grief to refrain,

For we may and might never all meet here again.

~(trad.)

When I read about the evils of drinking,

I gave up reading.

~Henny Youngman

5 days a week my body is a temple.

The other two, it's an amusement park.

~Unknown

You have to accentuate the positive,

eliminate the negative,

and latch on to the affirmative.

Don't mess with "Mr. In-between".

~Louis Armstrong

Nothing in the world can take the place of persistence.

Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent.

Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb.

Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts.

Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent.

~Calvin Coolidge~

The perversity of nature is nowhere better demonstrated

by the fact that, when exposed to the same atmosphere,

bread becomes hard while crackers become soft.

--Nabisco

Learn to enjoy every minute of your life. Be happy now.

Don't wait for something outside of yourself

to make you happy in the future.

Think how really precious is the time you have to spend,

whether it's at work or with your family.

Every minute should be enjoyed and savored.

~ Earl Nightingale ~

Divine souls suffer violent opposition

from mediocre minds.

~Albert Einstein

Cheers Paul

[brnidokiegurl 1]

Alot of good ones, although the one about sleep now has me worried, lately have trouble staying asleep, wakeing all different hours. Hopefully its just this process not that i'm turning bad