Denied... now what?

[selavi 0]

I just want to also clarify something: the BEST way to get the real papers in Haiti is to go to the National Archives yourself. Do not send anyone or pay anyone on the streets posing as officials (your fiance should know that...) There are organized and official ways of doing things there, you just have to do it yourself and take days off work and go to the correct offices. Most babies are delivered in hospitals now too and birth certificates do not take long to register. Death certificates are even easier to get (believe me.)

THIS. Whatever next steps you decide to take, your fiancé needs to handle his business himself. Yes, it's difficult to navigate Haitian government facilities, but he needs to go to the National Archives in person himself. This is not lunch. No matter how flawed Haiti is, there are systems in place to obtain official government documents. I lived in Haiti for two years...you may not understand how the system works, but as a Haitian, your fiancé should know how to navigate the system. My husband (fiancé at the time, of course) had to take 3 days off work without pay to get official documents, do his medical exam, etc. He complained at first, but after an earful from me, he happily took the time off work to take care of things.

Do not misconstrue the tone of my message. I'm really sorry you were denied. I'm giving you advice based on my experience to help make sure you have a positive outcome the next time. Bon chans cherie.

Edited January 19, 2013 by selavi

[lilQueenP 15]

We're taking this very carefully. My fiance is checking personally at the City Hall and National Archives to see what can be done. He is speaking with friends and family to get ideas as well. I'm in contact with some people on this end to make sure that all options are exhausted before changing things too drastically.

He was told that he could divorce on grounds of abandonment, which will take at least a year and cost around $1,000 U.S. That is an option for us, but then with the spouse visa, puts us at 2 years more of waiting. By that time, I'll be done with Graduate School and will be looking towards my PhD. My PhD is Ethnomusicology-focused, with a lot of field research in Haiti, but classroom study in the U.S., which will require a lot of time in Haiti, and a significant amount of time in the U.S. We really need to be able to move back and forth if possible. And I don't want to get in the middle of another program and then have more issues.

Also, I'll be 40 in a couple of years and we'd like to start a family. With our religious beliefs, we want to wait until there's a legal marriage, but it's very tempting to go ahead and try to have a child... but then traveling back and forth alone with a small child is going to be tough, not to mention that we would want the child to be born in the U.S., and so he wouldn't be here for that.

So disheartening. But we are praying and trusting God.