Can absence make the heart wander?

[radacos 0]

I say go for it!

If its companionship and just the "interaction" with a female that you're seeking.... do it. It may complicate things, but the one thing that it will do to is keep you "in practice" for when you have a woman around again. We, as guys, get out of practice when we're not in the presence of a lady. We make ####### and fart jokes, we leave the toilet seat up, we let our personal hygiene slide back a little bit. A lady cleans that up nicely!

You can draw the lines where you want as far as "cheating" goes, but me personally, I don't see anything wrong with it. You're a man, you're supposed to be with a woman. If you're not with the one you love, another can (and will) fill in for her temporarily.

Many people will debate the ethics of this, and I'm not going to do that. The mere fact that you've posted this relates to me that you've considered it and are just wondering if it's "OK" to do it. Perhaps you really want to, but just need a little "permission" that it's OK. If that's what you're looking for, you've got my blessing all day, but the only person with an oppinion that matters on this topic is your fiancee. I'd say bring it up with her, and just test the waters a little. Tell her how you're feeling, chances are she's feeling the same way too. And even if she's the jealous type, she'd probably rather you go out with a girl and tell her about it than sneak around behind her back, only to find out about it later.

Who knows, if you're lucky, it may even turn her on a little bit!

Good luck, and just remember, you're only feeling what you're (biologically speaking) supposed to be feeling. Those that say "you should only want your fiancee" are not referring to the natural happenings inside their body (or they're much better at "channelling" these feelings into an "imagined" state) they're just going by what they ethically believe is right or wrong. Do what YOU (and your fiancee) want to do. She may even appreciate the fact that you'll stay "in practice" for her.

May surprise some, but I'm in agreeance with much of what you are saying slim only the other knowing about it, in most cases just doesn't work lol The green eyed monster always rears its head. I can understand that side of things too. I have always had a huge interest in sexuality and human nature. Moral standings often cloud ones view. Being in love has little to do with one remaining faithful, hence why the ladies of the night in particular have always had a booming business. Men in many cases (and I stress not all), have a distinctive primal need. Plenty of evidence out there that proves this. Love and sex whilst intertwined are also seperate needs. Making love and sex/sex acts are two seperate animals. If one isnt' getting it from home, you can bet a surprising % are getting it from somewhere, including self help.

Did I remain faithful, you betcha. Would I have understood if hubby didn't, I can honestly say yes.

Would like to add as per the OP's title. Big difference when the heart wanders as opposed to the body.

I deffo agree with the bit in red.

Aussie, out of curiosity, would your hubby have understood if you physically did not remain faithful?

No

Agree with Aussie and Slim. The only addition I'd like to make is that I abide by honesty being the best policy. We were apart for 6 months (not for immigration reasons), during which time we both "strayed" once, with each other's full knowledge. I am a pretty jealous person, but the thing that I'm afraid of is not my husband getting it on with another woman, but his seeking another woman as an emotional companion, somebody that could, on some level, replace me. Once he reminded me (and I reminded myself) that I was his companion of choice, his tryst ceased to bother me. Even though he is a little less insecure than I am, I think the same goes for my husband.

That being said, talking or even thinking about infidelity is very, very painful for most of us. But not talking about it is not going to make it go away. My advice to the OP (and anyone else) would be to talk about rules with their partner. I think that a lot of people would be surprised to find that their partners are a lot more understanding of "needs" than they might expect. But if you don't talk about it and sneak behind your partner's back, or if you break the rules you've agreed to, it will most likely come around and bite you in the ###!