BREAKING: GOP Lawmaker Demands Recall Gay Car

[Mr. Big Dog 10,747]

GOP Lawmaker Demands Recall of Car That Drove Him to Gay Club

Calls Gay Car ‘Menace’

SACRAMENTO (The Borowitz Report) - Anti-gay California State Sen. Roy Ashburn today demanded a sweeping recall of the vehicle that drove him to a gay nightclub this week.

Sen. Ashburn, a Republican who has consistently voted for anti-gay legislation, said that the car drove him to the club “against my will.”

“If we are recalling cars for problems with their brakes and power steering, then surely we should be recalling vehicles that force their drivers to go to gay nightclubs,” Sen. Ashburn said.

The state senator said not only did the car drive him to the gay nightclub, but it forced him to enter the club and party there for hours, resulting in his later arrest for DUI.

“I can’t tell you what a menace this car is,” he said. “It really is the gayest car I’ve ever seen.”

In addition to calling for a recall of the gay car, Sen. Ashburn said he would sponsor legislation mandating that all California vehicles be fitted not only with GPS but gaydar.

[one...two...tree 2,762]

[I AM NOT THAT GUY 5,715]

I wonder which make and model he is talking about. Perhaps, he drove a "Hummer", with a "Nice people suck" bumper sticker.

[Mr. Big Dog 10,747]

I wonder which make and model he is talking about. Perhaps, he drove a "Hummer", with a "Nice people suck" bumper sticker.

Talking about the Hummer. There was a headline on that one, too, lately.

Decision to Stop Making Hummers Saddens azzholes

Douchebags Seek New Way to Compensate for Tiny Penises

DETROIT (The Borowitz Report) – General Motors’ decision yesterday to stop manufacturing Hummers has struck at the heart of the group who loved the vehicles most: America's azzholes.

Across the nation, leading azzholes spoke of a sense of loss and sadness caused by the decision, and suggested that they would now be searching for new ways to compensate for their small penises.

Tracy Klugian, a realtor in Tempe, Arizona, said that he would consider buying a boat with an annoyingly loud sound system, "but it just won't say 'azzhole' like a Hummer does."

Mr. Klugian, whose ####### has been described as "microscopic," also questioned the timing of GM's decision.

"Right now, the Hummer is the only thing on the road capable of stopping a Toyota," he said.

Edited March 5, 2010 by Mr. Big Dog