Yardies a home and a farrin (Part 20)

[MRStee 19]

Congrats MsTee!

Thank you sus... why is United Airways website f*ing with me though lol

mstee you want US airways....NOT united......united doesnt fly there til end of december (i work for united airlines).....and you can get a direct MBJ-PHL flight!

I did book US Airways, I don't know why I keep saying United LOL

[Thompson2 1]

Morning, All

I think I'll work from home today. It's been POURING for over 4 hours, and I'm not trying to get caught in any flash floods.

Steven got his Social Security card in the mail today! It only took a week.

thisislove, did your kids & their father go to the OU/Texas game at the fair? OU lost.

That's great Nat!! I'm slacking and haven't gotten Vaughn's yet. This week it's on the schedule. Did you just have to walk in and wait or could you make an appt? Also, do I just need to bring his passport and license?

Hello everyone else.!

I didn't realize until we walked in that we could've scheduled an appointment. Steven was there for 1.5 hours. When I go to change my name, though, I'll schedule an appointment & hopefully be there for a shorter time. We brought the passport, license, application form, and the portion of the law that says K1 visa holders can get SSNs (as this site recommends to bring). However, that wasn't necessary as the guy working there was already familiar with the law.

Oh Ok I think I'll make an appt. As long as I do it before we get married or is it before sending out the AOS I will be OK?? Thanks for following up on this.

[Thompson2 1]

Stepmoms HELP ME!!!!!!!!!!!

my stepdaughter wrote in her notebook that she does not like me because I disciplined her. Now her dad gave me the permission if she is out of line I can. She was doing good up until a couple of months ago. I saw this and I flipped!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I punished her by writing 200 lines and no tv for 1 week. I did not tell her dad cuz she is scared of what HE will do!!!!!!!! What should I do???? Was I wrong??????????

Ok 1luv...I'm gonna play the devil's advocate/therapist role for just a minute. I don't understand why you punished her so severely for her actions? The problem that I have with this situation is that your stepdaughter has a right to her feelings, and you essentially punished her for having feelings. We are all entitled to feel different ways about things and/or people. To punish her for not liking you, I think, is a little much. You said that she wrote this in her notebook. She wasn't yellilng it at you or anything, she simply wrote down how she felt. Instead of punishing her, I think it would have been more therapeutic for you to have the conversation w/ her about why she feels like she doesn't like you. You could even have it with her father present. And start out the conversation with an understanding that no one is going to be disrespectful during the conversation, and everyone will at least be heard. She might also come around if she sees (and hears) that you all having a good relationship is very important to you, which is why you were so upset. Your feelings were hurt. I saw in a later post that you all talked. Which is good. Just remember that a huge part of relationship building is being able to trust. And she's going to have to trust that she is allowed to have her feelings (even if it's not what we would hope), as long as she is not disrespectful and expresses them in an appropriate manner. Once she begins to feel like she can trust that you will accept all the parts of her, then I can guarantee you that things will begin to get better. It's a work in progress, and there a probably a thousand other things that she's going to do to piss you off at some point. Just make sure that the punishment fits the crime. And do everything u can to keep the lines of communication open between all of you. Even though teenagers act like they don't care about stuff like that, they really do! Good luck to you all.

I really like this approach Mrs P. What are you a social worker or something?!?! lol. Seriously you are going to be a great mom, when you are ready...or hubby convinces or bugs you enough.

[brownnskinn 0]

Stepmoms HELP ME!!!!!!!!!!!

my stepdaughter wrote in her notebook that she does not like me because I disciplined her. Now her dad gave me the permission if she is out of line I can. She was doing good up until a couple of months ago. I saw this and I flipped!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I punished her by writing 200 lines and no tv for 1 week. I did not tell her dad cuz she is scared of what HE will do!!!!!!!! What should I do???? Was I wrong??????????

What was the crime?

[brownnskinn 0]

If it was her journal..was she using it as an outlet? I try not to go snooping around my daughter's personal stuff...Well, I do if i suspect there might be something funky going on. If it was indeed a journal. I say let it go. I tend to take things away as well, TV, cell phones, laptops,...how old is she?...the cell phone is a big deal for teenaged girls. I also, tend to hold things back from her father, cause he got issues...and let's just say; I'd to kill him. Would you rather she held that(anger) in? I think it's more important she learn why she has no reason to hate you...she most likely wrote that when she was angry. Let it go.

[brownnskinn 0]

Good Morning Everyone,

It's been a while but I couldn't connect to the internet from the house. Hope everyone is doing ok. The 2 girls came up in August, we get along good. few glitches along the way the main one being the grandmother not sending the youngest to school, she should have been going into the 4th grade but didn't pass the entrance exam so she was put back into the third grade. Third week of school we get a call from her teachers. She has a first grade reading level. Not for nothing but I'm not to impressed with the Jamaican school system right now.

It wasn't their fault she didn't go to school but even though her grades were horrible they were going to put her in the fourth grade in J.A. The oldest one isn't too bad but her grammer when she writes is horrible. I spend a lot if time correcting her work.

My son and the baby and mr jengs are fine.

nice to hear jengs! i'm kind of worried about how my stepdaughter will fare in school once she gets here. I'm almost certain she is behind where she needs to be. Do they have a after school tutoring program where you are?

For, us...She was suppose to be in the 10th, her 9th grade grades from JA were horrible. We agreed to hold her back; actually had no choice, she had no 9th grade credit. She was failing physics; She's gotten that F up to a C. Now, I see she's failing Algebra. She has A and B's in all the other subject. Her father is so clueless. He believed what she said when she told him that wasn't her final grade once; That a test still needed to be added in..I said "one test"? What difference will that make? My biggest problem is that she will not study! She often comes home and heads for the computer, or she will sleep for hours after school, then want to stay up all night to do homework. I was happy about the F coming up to a C...but now this...I told her I was not going to force her, that she is darn near an adult. That if she didn't pass all her subjects. Her time in JA this summer will be cut short because she'd be in summer school. After, explaining what that meant; she's been studying everyday after school.

[DaDa 1]

its actually my 8 yr old mrs p..

she is a die hard fan.. she doesn't even talk about him that much anymore, cuz as u said, we did have the talk about the situation and how unacceptable that behavior was.

however.. we still listen to his music.. telling them we all are entitled to some mistakes in life and everybody deserves a second chance with boundaries of course...they played his new song today and it was beautiful.. i feel sorry for him, he's so young.. but many young girls are going thru this w/ their boyfriend and its a hard subject to dissect..

I guess I am so on the fence about this. I think Chris has received his punishment and he is paying for it big time.. Think of all the money and fans he has lost through this and I guess part of me thinks like, what he should he be punished the rest of his life? Hopefully he has learned a lesson at a young age and knows from now on to keep his hands to himself. I guess we can only go by what the media has told us but do we know any behind the scenes info? Like how was his upbringing anything he may have experienced as a child to push him to this? What was their relationship really like was Rhianna often hitting him as well. Granted if she did hit him that still doesn’t give him any reason to hit her back a man should always walk away but still we just don’t know. How many men do we have in our lives that have hit woman but we still talk, hang with or go out with every day because there our family members, friends or boyfriends we forgave. If he was older I would say good for him but being that he is so young I would really hate to see him live with this the rest of his life. Who knows maybe being so young with so many obligations and popularity just stressed him out and pushed him over the edge. Again not a reason to strike but maybe he was at a breaking point.

If my daughter really loved Chris Brown I would let her go to the concert.

[DaDa 1]

mstee, where is he picking it up from?

Quana, some of my friends had that convo about R Kelly. He's coming here for a concert. We like most of his music, but don't want to support him cause of his actions.

Whoo R. Kelly!!! I am so mad at the man for his actions but I love his music! One of my girls in Dallas told me he is coming there and I'm so upset I think he is coming no where near here. Are you going Nat?

[LadyC 1]

Good Morning Yardies....Happy Friday to all

My baby got his Police Cert., his Medical is on 11/3 and we are waiting on the No Imped (say told him 6 to 10 business days). I cant wait for this to be over. I am a nervous wreck...

[IrieCat 2]

Morning Ladies....

LadyC, your on your way. Don't be a wreck - it'll be fine!

Have a great Friday everyone!!!

[JQ Smiley BOOM 3]

Good morning ladies

5:53 am Las Vegas time.

Getting up ready for work and getting kids up to

Hubby at work from 4:30am

Can't do my smileys because I am on the sidekick

Hey I forgot to tell you guys we are having a Housewarming and welcome to American party for Hubby.

Any suggestions would help I will check back in at work.

Thanks Yardies

[Mrs. Palmer 5]

Stepmoms HELP ME!!!!!!!!!!!

my stepdaughter wrote in her notebook that she does not like me because I disciplined her. Now her dad gave me the permission if she is out of line I can. She was doing good up until a couple of months ago. I saw this and I flipped!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I punished her by writing 200 lines and no tv for 1 week. I did not tell her dad cuz she is scared of what HE will do!!!!!!!! What should I do???? Was I wrong??????????

Ok 1luv...I'm gonna play the devil's advocate/therapist role for just a minute. I don't understand why you punished her so severely for her actions? The problem that I have with this situation is that your stepdaughter has a right to her feelings, and you essentially punished her for having feelings. We are all entitled to feel different ways about things and/or people. To punish her for not liking you, I think, is a little much. You said that she wrote this in her notebook. She wasn't yellilng it at you or anything, she simply wrote down how she felt. Instead of punishing her, I think it would have been more therapeutic for you to have the conversation w/ her about why she feels like she doesn't like you. You could even have it with her father present. And start out the conversation with an understanding that no one is going to be disrespectful during the conversation, and everyone will at least be heard. She might also come around if she sees (and hears) that you all having a good relationship is very important to you, which is why you were so upset. Your feelings were hurt. I saw in a later post that you all talked. Which is good. Just remember that a huge part of relationship building is being able to trust. And she's going to have to trust that she is allowed to have her feelings (even if it's not what we would hope), as long as she is not disrespectful and expresses them in an appropriate manner. Once she begins to feel like she can trust that you will accept all the parts of her, then I can guarantee you that things will begin to get better. It's a work in progress, and there a probably a thousand other things that she's going to do to piss you off at some point. Just make sure that the punishment fits the crime. And do everything u can to keep the lines of communication open between all of you. Even though teenagers act like they don't care about stuff like that, they really do! Good luck to you all.

I really like this approach Mrs P. What are you a social worker or something?!?! lol. Seriously you are going to be a great mom, when you are ready...or hubby convinces or bugs you enough.

Thanks. Acutally, I received my Master's in counseling, and when I was in grad school I completed a year-long internship working w/ children & families in the Prince George's County area in Md. I primarily worked w/ children, but in doing so I worked with the parents at well, so there was individual & family therapy involved. In my experiences I found that children responded more quickly and showed more progress when they felt like they could speak honestly about their feelings in a "safe" place. I know alot of folks are like, "yeah, but you don't have kids and these m-effers can be crazy!', but honestly, I think it sometimes takes an objective 3rd party to be able to show the families a different way of doing/thinking. Now I in no way advocate kids just saying whatever they want to out their mouths at their parents--HE@@ NO! But when the rules of conversation are established: 1) only one person will speak at a time, 2) everyone speaks in a calm voice, 3) no one is disrespected (define disrespect for your family), and 4) everyone's thoughts/feelings are valid, then usually things can be pretty productive. Not saying that its 100%, but it does work more than you think. And I know with so much going on this can be difficult to do for most families, but eventually it has to be done, or you end up in therapy paying to have it done! And this is an excellent for parents to model for children how to engage in appropriate, healthy relationships with others. I wish all of the biological and blended famillies up here the best! I can only imagine how difficult it can be...

[Mrs. Palmer 5]

its actually my 8 yr old mrs p..

she is a die hard fan.. she doesn't even talk about him that much anymore, cuz as u said, we did have the talk about the situation and how unacceptable that behavior was.

however.. we still listen to his music.. telling them we all are entitled to some mistakes in life and everybody deserves a second chance with boundaries of course...they played his new song today and it was beautiful.. i feel sorry for him, he's so young.. but many young girls are going thru this w/ their boyfriend and its a hard subject to dissect..

I guess I am so on the fence about this. I think Chris has received his punishment and he is paying for it big time.. Think of all the money and fans he has lost through this and I guess part of me thinks like, what he should he be punished the rest of his life? Hopefully he has learned a lesson at a young age and knows from now on to keep his hands to himself. I guess we can only go by what the media has told us but do we know any behind the scenes info? Like how was his upbringing anything he may have experienced as a child to push him to this? What was their relationship really like was Rhianna often hitting him as well. Granted if she did hit him that still doesn’t give him any reason to hit her back a man should always walk away but still we just don’t know. How many men do we have in our lives that have hit woman but we still talk, hang with or go out with every day because there our family members, friends or boyfriends we forgave. If he was older I would say good for him but being that he is so young I would really hate to see him live with this the rest of his life. Who knows maybe being so young with so many obligations and popularity just stressed him out and pushed him over the edge. Again not a reason to strike but maybe he was at a breaking point.

If my daughter really loved Chris Brown I would let her go to the concert.

Dada...when all of this stuff came out, Chris admitted that he had grown up in a household where his stepfather (I believe it was his stepfather) abused his mother, and like many families in our community, they chose to keep quiet about it. Which is why I was SOOO disappointed when he declined formal counseling and chose to rely on the counseling of his mother. IMO, I think that they BOTH need professional counseling to deal with whatever they had to endure as he was growing up. And until he does so, I honestly believe that he is more likely to do this again. If not to Rihanna, to somebody else at some point. Because there is always going to be stress for him. He will always have obligations. Just like the rest of us--but there are many of us who don't go out and beat the hell outta people. He seriously needs to get a handle on things NOW.

its actually my 8 yr old mrs p..

she is a die hard fan.. she doesn't even talk about him that much anymore, cuz as u said, we did have the talk about the situation and how unacceptable that behavior was.

however.. we still listen to his music.. telling them we all are entitled to some mistakes in life and everybody deserves a second chance with boundaries of course...they played his new song today and it was beautiful.. i feel sorry for him, he's so young.. but many young girls are going thru this w/ their boyfriend and its a hard subject to dissect..

I guess I am so on the fence about this. I think Chris has received his punishment and he is paying for it big time.. Think of all the money and fans he has lost through this and I guess part of me thinks like, what he should he be punished the rest of his life? Hopefully he has learned a lesson at a young age and knows from now on to keep his hands to himself. I guess we can only go by what the media has told us but do we know any behind the scenes info? Like how was his upbringing anything he may have experienced as a child to push him to this? What was their relationship really like was Rhianna often hitting him as well. Granted if she did hit him that still doesn’t give him any reason to hit her back a man should always walk away but still we just don’t know. How many men do we have in our lives that have hit woman but we still talk, hang with or go out with every day because there our family members, friends or boyfriends we forgave. If he was older I would say good for him but being that he is so young I would really hate to see him live with this the rest of his life. Who knows maybe being so young with so many obligations and popularity just stressed him out and pushed him over the edge. Again not a reason to strike but maybe he was at a breaking point.

If my daughter really loved Chris Brown I would let her go to the concert.

Dada...when all of this stuff came out, Chris admitted that he had grown up in a household where his stepfather (I believe it was his stepfather) abused his mother, and like many families in our community, they chose to keep quiet about it. Which is why I was SOOO disappointed when he declined formal counseling and chose to rely on the counseling of his mother. IMO, I think that they BOTH need professional counseling to deal with whatever they had to endure as he was growing up. And until he does so, I honestly believe that he is more likely to do this again. If not to Rihanna, to somebody else at some point. Because there is always going to be stress for him. He will always have obligations. Just like the rest of us--but there are many of us who don't go out and beat the hell outta people. He seriously needs to get a handle on things NOW.

[IrieCat 2]

Ladies, I am about to post Tierra's school pic on FB. Oh Lord... my daughter is so cute.. how in the heck to they butcher these school pics every year? LOL

The zoomed in so close... her head looks HUGE!!! ahahahah... Poor kid.

[charandivan 0]

Good Morning Everyone and Happy Friday!

@ Lady C - I know how you feel. I am a nervous wreck every other day. Hang in there. Your man soon come!

@ Ms. Sheka - Take care of yourself I. I hope you feel better soon.

@ Ms. Tee - Congrats on your man getting his visa.

@ Ms. P - well said statement about the kids. My daughter is 7 so may need your advice in the near future.

Well I'm off to catch my flight to JA. Have a great weekend!!