meeting her family for the first TIME!!!

[bulaklak 0]

Even when they consider 'Fruit of the Loom' a cool brand.

I agree with that..there are many options, there is Target, Wal-mart, and JC #######, and any other stores that sell inexpensive clothing but good quality. name brands does not neccesarily equal to a good quality. what makes them expensive they pay for the advertisement and for the famous celebrity. Most of the products here are not made in the US.. but atleast bought from the US..A

In the Philippines, there is a saying that courting the girl means courting her parents.

true

Dont kiss anyone, not even in the hand. They may look pleased, but theyd be disgusted if your lips touch their hands, especially because you're a guy.

Be prepared to answer questions like what you do for living, do you go to church, how's your parents and what do they do kind of stuff.

YUP, that is normal questions, in the US that is a very personal question;and is none of your business, not unless you need to provide important documents like insurance,health care etc.

Oh and if the dad or brothers ask you to drink with them, dont drink too much. Sometimes they use that as a test to makes sure your not some alcoholic loser marrying their daughter.

true.

[May2 3]

Me and my Fiancee, husband now had the same problem when he came here for the first time, He's asking me what should he bring for my parents and family. Before he did some buying, we talk about his budget, It would be hard to discuss at first, but you should be honest with the money stuff. Your right with the MANO PO thing and learn basic tagalog or much better the dialect she's using, It would earn you some brownie points. Maybe don't have to do the kissing of the hand stuff and would be safer for you. As for the gifts, Bring something special for the parents but don't have to be expensive. If you can just bring a lot of chocolates, This is for the siblings, niece, nephew, uncle and unties. Her father works for the government maybe he wants to show off, But I suggest you talk to your girl, as much as possible keep everything low profile. You don't want to caught the attention of kidnappers and robbers. I'm not scaring you but this are facts. Not sure with used clothes coz definitely the family will notice its either they will appreciate it or be offended. That's why chocolates is better, plus if your doing 3 connecting flights, you don't want to chase your extra baggage on the airport. I mean if the girl really loves you, she don't care how much money you bring, And you don't want her to see you as a money bank. Plan everything out, and enjoy your time with her.

[adventure509 0]

Your going to have a good time. Just be yourself and be respectfull and the will be happy to have you join the family. Just remember Family is very important in the Philippines.

[gtron 0]

there's a lot of generalizations and assumptions in this thread. you cannot relate your personal one week or couple of month experience to an entire country of people. maybe your husband or wife is from a province that is much different than manila or something else. somebody even mentioned that they are simple people. what does that even mean? are you saying filipinos are simple people? nobody else found that rude as hell?

another thing, just because someone's family asked you for about money that doesn't mean that anyone traveling to philipines should be prepared to be hounded for money by their so's family. that's you're family now. one, it's not every family is like that. two, keep your families money issues to yourself. this is a public board.

his post was asking for some simple advise and a handful of people turned it into judging and describing an entire country in a few single sentences. it can't be done so stop it.

sometimes i read these forums and i'm amazed how people aren't more offended by some of the posts on here. unreal.

anyway, there are some customary actions that may exist throughout the country but be sure to research the customs that might be unique to the area you're traveling too.

sorry i wasn't more helpful but i mostly posted that because i was so turned off by some of the posts in this thread.

[Joseph & Ana 0]

there's a lot of generalizations and assumptions in this thread. you cannot relate your personal one week or couple of month experience to an entire country of people. maybe your husband or wife is from a province that is much different than manila or something else. somebody even mentioned that they are simple people. what does that even mean? are you saying filipinos are simple people? nobody else found that rude as hell?

another thing, just because someone's family asked you for about money that doesn't mean that anyone traveling to philipines should be prepared to be hounded for money by their so's family. that's you're family now. one, it's not every family is like that. two, keep your families money issues to yourself. this is a public board.

his post was asking for some simple advise and a handful of people turned it into judging and describing an entire country in a few single sentences. it can't be done so stop it.

sometimes i read these forums and i'm amazed how people aren't more offended by some of the posts on here. unreal.

anyway, there are some customary actions that may exist throughout the country but be sure to research the customs that might be unique to the area you're traveling too.

sorry i wasn't more helpful but i mostly posted that because i was so turned off by some of the posts in this thread.

No one was generalizing the entire country. We were giving our experiences meeting our fiancee's families. Stop being so sensitive and take a pill. If they are simple, whats wrong with that? I think its a positive thing.

[uniquecouple 0]

Hello all, I love this sight so I finally set up an account. Well I am meeting my girls family next week for the first time and have some questions that I am hoping you fellow vjr's to help me with. her and her parents will pick me up at the airport do I do mano po when i meet them or is that old school? also I am paying for a party the next day for all her family to meet me ....i don't mind but is there a limit on how much i should spend or get? .....also what about the gift giving process she is telling me soaps & perfumes for the girls and toys and candy for the kids but what i don't understand she told me to bring my old clothes for the men????? is that really ok? ......and my last question is when would me a good time to formally ask her dad for his daughters hand? Do I do it at the party? Thank you all!!!!!

people has their own beliefs of their own base on where they lives and what kind of personality they are. when my husband (then fiance) first visited me here in the philippines, we did not do any party or did not buy any gifts for my family whatsoever. even though my husband asked me several times before he got on the plane what to bring, for me and for the family. i told him, bringing yourself, your love and true intension to me is enaugh. i told him that we dont have to throw a BIG party for the family and barangay just to show off.

im not saying that having a party is a problem. but it might be ONE in the FUTURE. i am not saying that your fiancee and her family are trying to ripp you off, dont get me wrong. just my opinion, that if you really love someone, money, party or any material things are unecessary indeed especially during the first meeting! its not about if you can afford it or not. the fact the matter is, it might lead you to be eaten alive.

however its really depends on you. this is really just my opinion.

good luck!

[JORDANTONI09 10]

Hey, this is really funny. I'm gonna meet my fiancee's family next week too. I'm gonna leave next Thur. and get there late Friday (her time). Her and her friend are picking me up from the airport. I'm meeting them on the Sat. she told me to bring her mother some of her favorite chocolate as a good token for her I already know that we're all gonna go out to eat lunch and I am gonna pay for it, it doesnt bug me, besides its only her mom, her younger sister (who wants her white chocolate Flipz, lol) and maybe her brother and aunt. Her and I are gonna be staying in Manila, but I'm going to Paranaque City, to meet her family. So, cool man, we're both gonna be in the same boat lol. Her family isnt really old school traditional, cuz they dont do the traditional Filipino things, so it is a little more easier for me, though I am wondering on how exactly to greet her mother Though her mom does and more than likely will question me on how I will support her daughter here and all, but it's expected since my girl and I are both 22 lol. The one thing her mom does like on me, that I know of, is that I'm latino and not that dark, lol. Good luck to you, man...I hope the best for you with her family

[Loolie 56]

Hello all, I love this sight so I finally set up an account. Well I am meeting my girls family next week for the first time and have some questions that I am hoping you fellow vjr's to help me with. her and her parents will pick me up at the airport do I do mano po when i meet them or is that old school? also I am paying for a party the next day for all her family to meet me ....i don't mind but is there a limit on how much i should spend or get? .....also what about the gift giving process she is telling me soaps & perfumes for the girls and toys and candy for the kids but what i don't understand she told me to bring my old clothes for the men????? is that really ok? ......and my last question is when would me a good time to formally ask her dad for his daughters hand? Do I do it at the party? Thank you all!!!!!

hi,

for me, i dont think spending so much on your first visit is okay...because your purpose there is to get to know your fiancee...once you allow them to do that to you...they'll end up asking for more and you'll end up spending more money...because for some filipino in the philippines foreigners are rich thats why if the girl comes from a big family some relatives or maybe your girl will have so much pride to celebrate and let everybody know that they have a foreigner visitor but you'll be the one to spend for the celebration because for them your rich.

a family gathering is enough where you can meet her family and not other people who just want to eat...hehehhehe

Good luck to you.

[loveaboo 0]

During my fiance's visit, I asked him how much the budget is and I was the one who plan the itinerary for his whole vacation here. We didn't throw a party to introduce him to the whole clan. I focus more on my immediate family to get to know him and vice versa. Having said that, on his 1st day, we had a family outing in a resort and on his last day, we had a family dinner in a local restaurant here to celebrate our engagement and as despedida party for him also. In those 2 events, he spent around $200 in total. My family didn't want him to spend any money as much as possible while he's at home so he just went on his way to show appreciation and bought some stuffs in the grocery store and cooked for the whole family thrice which my family found kinda nice.

As per meeting my other relatives? We took advantage of the family gatherings such as birthday parties, baptismal, etc. to introduce him to them. We also passed around whatever he cooked to the neighbors who happened to be all relatives and to some, he was even the one who delivered it to their door (with me of course).

About the gifts? Before he left US, he already bought some stuffs for my nephew and nieces. I suggested him to buy Victoria's Secret colognes (about $30/5 pieces) for the ladies in the immediate family however there was not much time anymore. I didn't want him to pay so much for the shipping to get those on time so i told him not to bother anymore. He brought them chocolates instead. He wanted to bring me a netbook as a gift but i told him NO since I still have this functional old laptop. Instead, he brought me 2 big boxes of Ferrero Rocher. FYI: We found out that Ferrero rocher is cheaper in local grocery store here than in US. You might want to consider buying chocolates in the grocery store to save you the hassle of bringing it during the trip...He also brought several Hershey chocolates (the 100 small pieces each package) which my mom gave away to the relatives. He bought liquors for my father and brother at Duty Free. That's it.

Lastly, my fiance proposed to me while we're in a week vacation (just the two of us). The day we got home, I gathered my immediate family so we can tell them together about our engagement. I know they were kinda expected it already... My fiance is the one who did most of the talking. I was there for moral support. Hehehe...

Anyways, goodluck to your trip! I'm sure you will enjoy it here.

[rockhouse 1]

there's a lot of generalizations and assumptions in this thread. you cannot relate your personal one week or couple of month experience to an entire country of people. maybe your husband or wife is from a province that is much different than manila or something else. somebody even mentioned that they are simple people. what does that even mean? are you saying filipinos are simple people? nobody else found that rude as hell?

another thing, just because someone's family asked you for about money that doesn't mean that anyone traveling to philipines should be prepared to be hounded for money by their so's family. that's you're family now. one, it's not every family is like that. two, keep your families money issues to yourself. this is a public board.

his post was asking for some simple advise and a handful of people turned it into judging and describing an entire country in a few single sentences. it can't be done so stop it.

sometimes i read these forums and i'm amazed how people aren't more offended by some of the posts on here. unreal.

anyway, there are some customary actions that may exist throughout the country but be sure to research the customs that might be unique to the area you're traveling too.

sorry i wasn't more helpful but i mostly posted that because i was so turned off by some of the posts in this thread.

You're way to serious. One of the extreme PC crowd huh? BTW, you sure did give some good answers to the TS questions.

[charlie&pam 1]

I just bought 1 big pig 2 months ago it cost about 3,500 pesos. but if you want to buy already roasted pig it will cost more than than.

I think 2 or 3 pigs are enough for the whole barrio.

OK....i talked to her last night they are getting one big pig roasted so it is about 160 american so the rest as sides and drinks sounds about right to me now!!!....lol

[charlie&pam 1]

You're basically gonna step off the plane as Donald Trump in their eyes. My girl was constantly bombarded with financial requests from just about every relative. The requests ranged from buying MP3 players for cousins, to paying other relative's debts off. Some of which were hundreds of dollars.

Quite honestly that was the worst thing about the PI for me. It seemed like EVERY SINGLE person wanted money from me. It got old real quick and even started to wear me out in a very negative way.

Be prepared, and be stern with your girl with regards to your budget.

really that bad???? so did it ruin your trip?

Nah man, not at all. My girl is worth every grief in the world. The second trip was better though cause i knew to expect it. I have helped her family alot, and will continue to as long as i am with my girl. They just have an old-school mind-set that if you're Amerikano, you're rich.

As far as being in public, if you've ever been to Mexico, it's kinda like that. You know, like if you're walking to a taxi, some random guy will jump in front of you and act like HE'S the reason it stopped. Then he asks for money. Or if you're pulling into a parking spot, some dude will run up and GUIDE you into the spot, lol, then ask for money.

Then there's the actual beggars. If you eat at a fast food restaurant near the street, be sure and sit away from the windows, or atleast YOU don't face the windows...it's hard to eat when 5-10 kids have their faces smashed against the glass with agonizing looks of pain on their faces.

If you watch them fter you give them money usually you'll see them run off to go gamble it away or buy something to huff on.

All this stuff is expected in any 3rd world country IMO.

I know exactly what you are talking about!!!!......this will be my fifth time there but the previous was all business in Makati mostly so I got a good taste of that!!! the first time was a culture shock and then I got used to it .....my girls sister worked in the hotel that I stay at as a waitress for breakfast we got to talking and that is how I met her sister

[charlie&pam 1]

I must have gotten lucky. The family didn't want any money from me. They even refused the town school from giving me a letter requesting money for the school. They wouldn't allow them to give it to me.

I wish you the best of luck.

sounds like you got really luck!!!!!!!!1 good for you

Well, everyone is different, when My bf (now is my hubby) visited Me first time He asked me what kind of a gift He will bring for me and to My Family, I told him it doesn't really a big deal, just let see if We click in person cause it's different when We are communicating in the phone or in the internet. and if We click in person, maybe in your 2 or 3 visits you can bring me or send Me a gift, as long as that is what you like to do,but the most important thing is, just be yourself. What I'm trying to say here is, some women are not comfortable to accept a gift from a stranger. don't get Me wrong I never said accepting a gift from a stranger is wrong. however, if I have to request a gift from My fiance, I'm sure is not toys,soaps,or an old clothes. it should be flowers or a yummy good chocolate.

anyway, o.p. go ahead and give them gifts.

also what about the gift giving process she is telling me soaps & perfumes for the girls and toys and candy for the kids but what i don't understand she told me to bring my old clothes for the men????? is that really ok? ......and my last question is when would me a good time to formally ask her dad for his daughters hand? Do I do it at the party? Thank you all!!!!!

thank you .....she has alot of nieces and nephews so I was going to go to the dollar store to pick things up there...lol

Try go to the SALVATION ARMY I figured the things they sell are NOT ALL second hand, there are plenty of name brands clothes, toys etc. just went there yesterday bought a figurine; and an old dolls collection which you can't find in most stores.:

good idea

No, giving gifts from the Salvation Army or any other thrift store for that matter is a very bad idea. You don't want your sweetheart's relatives and friends to be using recycled things, some of them coming from dead people. Your used clothes may be okay as hand me downs though. You could be in trouble now; she could have read your good idea about buying Salvation Army merchandise.

LOL..I expected this kind of answer....I was thinking the same thing about it too.

I was not really serious about it. it's up to the o.p. He is adult and I'm sure He know's what He's doing... yes, it is not a good idea to buy used things as gifts.

If you are rich O.P. I suggest go to this store http://www.neimanmarcus.com/

nope not rich at all middle class!!!....lol

You'd be fine with the chocolates. Brand clothes are ok but you really dont want to show off as someone rich. Even when they consider 'Fruit of the Loom' a cool brand. Bring gifts specifically for the Mom and the Dad. In the Philippines, there is a saying that courting the girl means courting her parents.

Mano or putting the back of the hand to your forehead is a must. Dont kiss anyone, not even in the hand. They may look pleased, but theyd be disgusted if your lips touch their hands, especially because you're a guy.

Be prepared to answer questions like what you do for living, do you go to church, how's your parents and what do they do kind of stuff.

Oh and if the dad or brothers ask you to drink with them, dont drink too much. Sometimes they use that as a test to makes sure your not some alcoholic loser marrying their daughter.

When you eat the mom or the dad's cooking, always say it tastes good no matter what it tastes like.

I grew up in the Philippines so I know this stuff. Good luck!

great advice

[charlie&pam 1]

there's a lot of generalizations and assumptions in this thread. you cannot relate your personal one week or couple of month experience to an entire country of people. maybe your husband or wife is from a province that is much different than manila or something else. somebody even mentioned that they are simple people. what does that even mean? are you saying filipinos are simple people? nobody else found that rude as hell?

another thing, just because someone's family asked you for about money that doesn't mean that anyone traveling to philipines should be prepared to be hounded for money by their so's family. that's you're family now. one, it's not every family is like that. two, keep your families money issues to yourself. this is a public board.

his post was asking for some simple advise and a handful of people turned it into judging and describing an entire country in a few single sentences. it can't be done so stop it.

sometimes i read these forums and i'm amazed how people aren't more offended by some of the posts on here. unreal.

anyway, there are some customary actions that may exist throughout the country but be sure to research the customs that might be unique to the area you're traveling too.

sorry i wasn't more helpful but i mostly posted that because i was so turned off by some of the posts in this thread.

thank you for your honest opinion on these natters I wasn't trying start this as people putting the country down .....sorry for the feelings you have........and in my opinion everyone has their own choices and opinions to make about their own personal situation ...... yesterday I got a lot of useful advice and some that I will not even consider and you can probably figure it out through my replies.....last night I was able to talk to her with more confidence in what I learned from some people on here I just want to say thank you to everyone who was sincere in helping

[charlie&pam 1]

Hello all, I love this sight so I finally set up an account. Well I am meeting my girls family next week for the first time and have some questions that I am hoping you fellow vjr's to help me with. her and her parents will pick me up at the airport do I do mano po when i meet them or is that old school? also I am paying for a party the next day for all her family to meet me ....i don't mind but is there a limit on how much i should spend or get? .....also what about the gift giving process she is telling me soaps & perfumes for the girls and toys and candy for the kids but what i don't understand she told me to bring my old clothes for the men????? is that really ok? ......and my last question is when would me a good time to formally ask her dad for his daughters hand? Do I do it at the party? Thank you all!!!!!

people has their own beliefs of their own base on where they lives and what kind of personality they are. when my husband (then fiance) first visited me here in the philippines, we did not do any party or did not buy any gifts for my family whatsoever. even though my husband asked me several times before he got on the plane what to bring, for me and for the family. i told him, bringing yourself, your love and true intension to me is enaugh. i told him that we dont have to throw a BIG party for the family and barangay just to show off.

im not saying that having a party is a problem. but it might be ONE in the FUTURE. i am not saying that your fiancee and her family are trying to ripp you off, dont get me wrong. just my opinion, that if you really love someone, money, party or any material things are unecessary indeed especially during the first meeting! its not about if you can afford it or not. the fact the matter is, it might lead you to be eaten alive.

however its really depends on you. this is really just my opinion.

good luck!

i Talked to her last night and she told me that she told her dad that I was on a budget and he said that we would split the cost of it so that is good.......she said that the night before they sat down and discussed it and they are now even paying for the car to pick me up at the airport which I figured I was paying for