Prince Harry goes Psycho for PsyTrance!

[Ken y Leidys 20]

Violent Yob Prince Harry was yesterday informed that he's "not welcome" at any psytrance parties in the UK.

The 20-year old A-level cheating oik, third in line to the throne, was widely pictured in the press this week following an altercation with a photographer outside a top london psytrance club.

Other party-goers revealed the extent of his appalling behaviour inside the venue.

Minty

"Before the party had even really got into swing, he was going about asking everyone in the gents if anyone had any pills," said one reveller who decided not to be named. "I said I might know a bloke who knew a bloke who knows this bird who's selling on behalf of this other bloke, and he just looked at me blankly, turning away and asking someone coming out of the cubicle if he had any K."

It appears that the prince, third in line to the throne and thick as two lines chopped up by SketchySteve, did manage to get on one. Another reveller reports "Just as Dimitri got on the decks, I spotted Hazza down the front. He'd removed his T-Shirt and had it tucked into the back pocket of his Harrods Thai Fishermen's Pants. He'd blagged some of those glasses-which-are-really-torches like what Barclay uses, and was waving a glowstick about."

Regina Ram's Stash Hag

Things took a turn for the worse when Dimitri dropped a 1200mics record. Widely reported to be Harry's favourite psytrance artists, when the "Come on then, let's all have some mescaline" sample dropped, he removed his trousers and ran screaming "mmeeeessscaaaallliiiiiiinnneee!!!" while whirling his pants over his head, in a manner described by legendary psytrance DJ and pioneer Quentin Ponsonby-Smythe as "like Jurgen f*ing Klinnsman in his heyday."

The misunderstanding outside the club is understood to have occurred when Harry refused to accept the third in a series of flyers for parties in the ####### end of nowhere he would never have intended to go to. Advising the flyer-distributor (Some bird, 22, who only gives out flyers to get on guest lists which one day might mean she gets to shag posford) she could "shove those poxy bits of card where my gran don't reign," everything then went "a bit Red Five".

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A spokesman for the Chakra & Soya club in London said "This is not the sort of behaviour we condone in this scene. Everybody's here for the music." Then he giggled. "No, okay, everybody's here for the nitrous. And maybe the decor. Then perhaps the music."

The "Scene" has banned Harry forthwith and pundits are saying his psytrance days are now firmly behind him. Prince Harry plays at the Alexandra Palace on 4th December alongside such goa luminaries as Jon 00 Fleming, Tiesto, and Will Young.