Leaving UK in August/September

[Laura_and_IanM 0]

Hiya guys! As most of you know, I am currently in the UK with Ian and have filed the first of our petitions from here. Although, my marriage visa runs out on Sept.7th. He had me look into getting an extension of my stay which we could do and it would allow me to work and it is good for 2 years (not that we need the whole 2 years). The down side to this is the cost of it. It would be 335£, which is a lot considering that there is a possibility that we would only need it for lets say a month. The other down side to this is it would keep me away from my children longer than both Ian and I had anticipated and with my oldest son being sick, I don't want to take that much more time away from him if you know what I mean. I could easily say ok if I knew that I was only staying for 2-3 weeks longer but the bottom line is we don't know. We don't know how long it will take to sell his house, we don't know how long the K-3 will take...etc. If Ian had a buyer for the house now, then I wouldn't be here right now asking for advice because he would come with me for 3 months to the states then come back.

This is the problem, Ian and I discussed the possibility of being seperated before we even got married. It was no problem, and it was understood. Now I am finding it hard to talk to him about it. I think he is getting depressed reading some of your timelines on here and seeing how long some of you have been seperated. He understands that I am going to be without a phone and without a computer for quite a while until I can get on my feet financially. I know that Sept. is a few months away yet and anything can happen, but it will come soon and Ian and I need to talk about the what ifs now and come up with some solutions for when that time comes. The last thing we want is for it to be right in our faces and be stuck up a crick without any oars!!! I need some advice in how to talk to him about this. Ian and I for the most part have good communication but this seems to really be getting him down, and I haven't seen him like this. I would really appreciate advice from all and especially from some men on how to handle my man lol.

Thanks guys!!!

Laura Mitchell

Edited June 9, 2006 by Laura_and_IanM

[LenJayUS 0]

If you can't find the words, why not point him at your post? I'm awhole lot better at the written language then I am with the verbal.

The only advice I can give is to just sit him down, and force yourselves to talk it through. No beating around the bush.

[MrsAmera 41]

Is there no way for your son to join you? That would alleviate some of the major concerns you have as you would be with both of them. I don't really know your whole story but that would be a start. If not then I too agree you both HAVE to talk about this. My husband HATES HATES HATES to discuss anything like this so I can understand how hard it is. But I really think it's something you have to do to make the best decision for all of you.