TO WORK OR NOT TO WORK

[jeffcloe 0]

I'd say I'll work with the consent of my husband (my fiance` now)... It is very true that it should be discussed accordingly and I don't think there will be a conflict in that matter... The reason why I want to work is to help in MY OWN SIMPLE WAY... To ease the homesickness during the time my husband has to leave the house for work... and to buy gifts for my husband using my hard-earned money haha... I have simple reasons why I want to work and not to degrade the status of my husband. And my husband find these reasons amazing haha... BTW I told to him I will only get a job the same as his work schedule so we'll have so much time for each other after our work hours... I don't mind not working hahaha (wowwww I like hahaha) but of course I know I have to make a life aside from having a married life with my husband and yes help in any way I could (but my husband will always be on top of all my priorities of course). I am blessed I have a very good and loving husband (just like everyone else here) who's been very supportive and understanding.

Bottom line is, whatever it looks like, still you and your husband knows what it is you are doing. Your intentions are good, you should not worry too much Discuss it to your hubby, that's the best thing to do first...

This opinion is about me and my husband (fiance` now), I agree with dbears:

What may work for Juan and Juana may not be feasible for Pedro and Petra coz we all have different financial situation and also different priorities/goals in life. So this is an issue that should be best discussed and agreed upon prior to staying I DOs.

[af_phils 0]

Which do you prefer? to work or not to work?

If you're going to work does it mean that you're just using the other person?

If you're working does it mean that you will have no time for your partner?

If my wife didn't work as well, we wouldn't be able to afford the mortgage on the house we bought together. Consequently, our son has to go to day care while we're at work. If one income were enough, I would want my wife to stay at home...

Not a lot of people here nowadays have the option to not work...

[Dakine 26]

You do whatever is necessary to make your "team" stronger. May be support at home or working!

Not easy to get ahead these days and if done proberly your "team" will come out ahead.

[noel_jas 0]

I will definitely work so I can help in paying the bills, send money to my family in PI and have my own money to buy what I want. It's not just about the money actually but I want to have an accomplishment as well. I have been working since I passed the board exam and I have been helping my family since then. This was never an issue between me and my fiance because before we got into a relationship I made it clear to him that if ever I will marry him one day I will still work and I will help my family and he understood it. I think it would be better if you work so you will have fall back if ever something goes wrong. This is a very important lesson that I learned from my parents. My mom never worked so when my dad passed away we were left with nothing. Good thing I finished college that time but then the burden was passed on me. This would have been different if only my mom was working also but oh well......in conclusion it would be really better to work but be sure that you guys talk about it so it won't be a cause of any conflict.

[David-and-Mae 15]

This is something that the two persons involved needs to talk about prior to getting married. When I met my husband, he made it clear that he's looking for a wife, a companion... It wasn't a problem since I wanted to be a homemaker than a career-oriented person. I have been here for more than a year now and the thought of working never crossed my mind. My husband said, if ever I will need something to do just to be out of the house every once in a while, I can go to school instead of working. Sounds good to me!

[amerasianlove 0]

THats depends for both of you, if you're husband can provide for you.

Personally even if my future husband can provide for me I still like to work,its still nice to have your own income and share for the expenses at home,knowing that you are not fully dependent to your husband.

Its easier to save money if you're both working right?

[CaNdiD wiTcH 0]

WORK.. I don't think it means you are stepping a man's ego if a woman would have her own career. As other people said, marriage is a partnership. Considering the high cost of living nowadays, I want to work so that I could help my husband pay all our bills. You could just discuss the working issue with your partner, explain your sides (if you want to work) and DO NOT assume (that he doesn't want you to work) without even asking him.

[honeybadger 0]

Which do you prefer? to work or not to work?

If you're going to work does it mean that you're just using the other person?

If you're working does it mean that you will have no time for your partner?

I don't see the rationale behind 'working equates using the other person'

What may work for Juan and Juana may not be feasible for Pedro and Petra coz we all have different financial situation and also different priorities/goals in life. So this is an issue that should be best discussed and agreed upon prior to staying I DOs.

:thumbs:

I strongly agree with dbears!

[speedo 0]

It's clear that you guys are not ready to tie the knot yet. Per your PMs and replies here, he is looking for a submissive wife. He likes to have a total control on you. You are not even married yet, and he already asked you to resign. IMHO, I think he is too controlling and thats a red flag right there. Have a heart and heart talk to him and DO NOT be afraid to tell him what you exactly feel. If he doesn't respect your opinion or how you feel/ don't want to listen to your reasoning, you are in deep trouble.

[RonMay 1]

at first we talked about me not working and just tend w/ our future family lol... but things change (economy and all, and boredom to death while he's away working)... so i find job to help just a bit (my car payment lol) but my paycheck is not enough to pay all the bills. though i can buy stuff for my own "wants" and if ever i send some to my mom, its coming from my paycheck... but to be honest my husband and i still wish for that someday that when im done my studies (goin back to school again to learn computer design/software) that i can be able to work at home and tend my family while earning some extra living...

[gabriela 0]

Which do you prefer? to work or not to work?

If you're going to work does it mean that you're just using the other person?

If you're working does it mean that you will have no time for your partner?

i'll work. and it's perfectly fine with my fiance. i even asked him how he would feel if my salary is higher than his... he said that's ok, actually he'd be soooooooh happy hehehe.

first, you have to know what YOU want...then discuss this with your fiance/husband.

[David-and-Mae 15]

It's clear that you guys are not ready to tie the knot yet. Per your PMs and replies here, he is looking for a submissive wife. He likes to have a total control on you. You are not even married yet, and he already asked you to resign. IMHO, I think he is too controlling and thats a red flag right there. Have a heart and heart talk to him and DO NOT be afraid to tell him what you exactly feel. If he doesn't respect your opinion or how you feel/ don't want to listen to your reasoning, you are in deep trouble.

My husband clearly stated that during the course of our courtship. He's retired... he needs someone whom he can be with him day in, day out. I didn't have any problems with it, as a matter of fact, I can say that our marriage is working harmoniously. We work (around the house, yard, garden, etc) together and we travel quite often visiting families and relatives. But like I said, we also have an understanding that if I would need some other things to be done just to be away from the routine, he'd rather make me go to school than working. It's not that money is not a problem in our relationship --- who doesn't worry about money? But his income is enough to pay all our bills and have food on the table and that's all that matters to us.

As long as the husband and the wife talked about stuff before they got married, to work or not to work is not really an issue. Just my 2 cents for what its worth.

[speedo 0]

My husband clearly stated that during the course of our courtship. He's retired... he needs someone whom he can be with him day in, day out. I didn't have any problems with it, as a matter of fact, I can say that our marriage is working harmoniously. We work (around the house, yard, garden, etc) together and we travel quite often visiting families and relatives. But like I said, we also have an understanding that if I would need some other things to be done just to be away from the routine, he'd rather make me go to school than working. It's not that money is not a problem in our relationship --- who doesn't worry about money? But his income is enough to pay all our bills and have food on the table and that's all that matters to us.

As long as the husband and the wife talked about stuff before they got married, to work or not to work is not really an issue. Just my 2 cents for what its worth.

My reply that you quoted was directed to the TS/OP. Your situation is different than the TS/OP. You and your husband are on the same page (good for you), but it's obvious that TS/OP is not really sure if she wants to be a house wife for the rest of her life. She also PMed with some of her concerns which makes me believe that something else is going on.

I am SAHM/wife, since I was 5 months pregnant. Our son is already 15 months. I'm planning to go back to work when he starts school. My husband and I are young, so I'll be long time before we retire. I don't want to stay at home wasting my education waiting for my husband to come home from work and my son to come home from school. I'll probably just going to work part time when my son is in school, so I can drive/attend his after school activities (sports or whatever).

Edited August 8, 2008 by speedo

[David-and-Mae 15]

My husband clearly stated that during the course of our courtship. He's retired... he needs someone whom he can be with him day in, day out. I didn't have any problems with it, as a matter of fact, I can say that our marriage is working harmoniously. We work (around the house, yard, garden, etc) together and we travel quite often visiting families and relatives. But like I said, we also have an understanding that if I would need some other things to be done just to be away from the routine, he'd rather make me go to school than working. It's not that money is not a problem in our relationship --- who doesn't worry about money? But his income is enough to pay all our bills and have food on the table and that's all that matters to us.

As long as the husband and the wife talked about stuff before they got married, to work or not to work is not really an issue. Just my 2 cents for what its worth.

My reply that you quoted was directed to the TS/OP. Your situation is different than the TS/OP. You and your husband are on the same page (good for you), but it's obvious that TS/OP is not really sure if she wants to be a house wife for the rest of her life. She also PMed with some of her concerns which makes me believe that something else is going on.

I am SAHM/wife, since I was 5 months pregnant. Our son is already 15 months. I'm planning to go back to work when he starts school. My husband and I are young, so I'll be long time before we retire. I don't want to stay at home wasting my education waiting for my husband to come home from work and my son to come home from school. I'll probably just going to work part time when my son is in school, so I can drive/attend his after school activities (sports or whatever).

Couples really must talk about everything (above and beyond) before they commit themselves to one another.

[island_princess 2]

Which do you prefer? to work or not to work?

Definitely, to work!

If you're going to work does it mean that you're just using the other person?

Of course, not! What's the point of struggling to finish school if you can not put it into use. Just my opinion.

If you're working does it mean that you will have no time for your partner?

Time management is the answer. Also, having a career gives me self-fulfillment.