pdmacca

Dawn - I wonder if Paul has bought his ticket yet? When doing so, please be careful when calculating his departure date. 90 days does not 3 months make. If Paul stays one day past the 90 days allowed by the Visa Waiver program, he has lost his visa waiver privileges for life.

He most certainly does go through "immigration". He has to be granted entry by Customs and Border Patrol. That's "immigration" at airports. In every country.

Thanks Johnny,

We will be getting the ticket next week and we'll make sure he's a couple days early to be safe. What process should be expected at US border?

Dawn - Paul isn't coming over on a tourist visa. Since he's a British citizen he's coming on the Visa Waiver program. He doesn't need a visa for a visit. People from some other nations do need a visa just to visit.

This thread isn't exactly in the right forum. But you'll probably get the answers you need anyway.

Oh....should I move it? Can I move it?

I read your other thread in the K-1 forum, and just wanted to let you know (in case you didn't already know!), you don't have to wait until your boyfriend/fiance leaves the US to file the I-129F. If you decide after you have met the first day that you want to go ahead with the K-1, all you would need to do is send a copy of his boarding passes and passport stamp indicating he has been to the US to meet you, and maybe a photo or two of you together, and you can file the next day. Same day, I guess technically.

That way, you could wait out much of the process together, since the service centres seem to be getting quicker, and you might possibly have NOA2 within 3 months, and he would of course have to leave then since his i-94 expires.

If you filed quickly after meeting, you might need more proof of relationship at the interview, but I've heard London isn't too sticky with proving your relationship.

Anyway, you might already know all that, but just wanted to make the process easier if possible

Wow!!! Thanks for that....sounds like wonderful advice. I think my only concern/question would be if they scheduled an interview for him in London. How much time to they give ... notice I mean?

Kenny has repeatedly apologized, explained himself, and even in this thread, has asked her to stay. I think the connotation of 'there are many good people here' mean what? Kenny's 'bad'?

No one was trolling, he just had a differing opinion, to which he's already apologized. If people can't handle that, perhaps the net is not for them. This place is TAME compared to what is out there, and wrapping noobs in cotton woll and/or begging them to stay is kinda strange imo, What does it matter who stays or who goes? As long as no TOS were broken, I don't see the problem with Kenny at all.

Lisa I agree....which is why I had initially thought this site wasn't for me. The strong opinions just really took me by surprise is all. I've got a lot going on in my life right now and probably too sensitive. I was able to stop the thread and I'm happy to stay and get the advice I was hoping for.

My sincerest appologies, that thread got outta hand and much of it is my fault..

Please continue to stay on VJ.. it's really helpful and I will do my best not to butt in.. Seriously my appologies.. I hope everything works out for you...

Kenny

Thanks for this Kenny. I didn't initially see it because I had set your settings for 'ignore.' I know everyone is entitled to their opinion and I certainly understand the vulnerability of the internet. It's just in this time of my life, my skin isn't quite so thick. I really appreciate your apology. Thank you.

In December, my UK boyfriend and I will meet in person for the first time. He has his ESTA waiver and all is in process. He will stay the 90 days. Of course we hope all goes well and upon evidence of our meeting and relationship continuing we will eventually file the 129 petition. My question is he will be flying into Detroit. It is his first time for international travel and a little nervous about what is to be expected when he goes through immigration. Can anyone tell us what will happen. We are both worried he'll end up with some guy that has something to prove and he won't get in. Is that silly? Would love some advice on this.

Thanks

Dawn

Thanks everyone....the thread will be locked and I'm happy to stay.

I'm a new member as of two days ago and would like to delete my account. Upon first looking at this site....I found very helpful advice and will continue to use it for that; but there are people that come on here that seem to want to cause trouble. I don't need that. I just want to be an observer and not a participator but didn't see where I could delete. Anyone know?

pdmacca

I'm certainly not naive enough to think that someone who feels that they're madly in-love would take any sound advice and take the time to really get to know someone before jumping into any kinds of comitment.. It is entirely your call and for everyone else who reads these threads as well.. The results of your descision will be yours and only yours to deal with as with anyone else considering a K1 visa or any relationship, domestic or foriegn. The advise given is simply that "advise". No one will fault you for jumping in with both feet.. Millions of people do it, why not you? however, millions fail, and a few, have wonderful romantic stories to share later with thier kids..

living on cliches and hyperbolies can be romantic but not real practical and not safe.. So, we actually expect most people that feel they can fall in-love over the internet to not be open to sensible ideas and advise, and certainly, we know it's not possible they will listen to anything contrary. But our advise can reach those that still have a little rationale remaining and result in others reading this thread to be thoughtful about all the things that a relationship needs to prosper..

For you Mrs pdmacca, It's great if it works out.. and I seriously hope you and Paul have a great visit and you really turn out to be "LUCKY" like jill and her man, lucky to have found the right person over the internet... It's a one-in-a-million shot, but who knows, you guys could be that "one"..

For the rest of the people of sound mind and judgement, hopefully they will take time to meet, and get to really know someone before commiting to a K1, marriage, kids and life.. There are a lot of things at stake, especially when doing a visa.. VAWA, integrity, Future Visas, Finacial Considerations, just to name a few. So the sound thinker must evaluate all those factors before making any comitments. It's serious business.. with lots at stake and not the least of which is emotional well being..

Kenny

Really?? Wow...such insight, such encouragement, such wisdom.....There Kenny, is that what you are after? It sure seems like it. I'm not too sure why you keep repeating yourself like no one has ever thought of any of the things you've mentioned nor couples haven't weighed out all the 'irrational' dreams (as you lay them out to be). I speak for myself; I'm a 43 year-old woman that was married 20 years. I know what love feels like. I'm not a giddy teenager living in the clouds. What annoys me is your pathetic posts of repetition gain all the attention and the main reason I'm on here....to get sound advice to avoid mistakes - gets lost with posts by others equally frustrated at your mission to create doubt, when NO ONE in their right mind would pursue this difficult process without FIRST asking everything you think is ground-breaking 'Kenny' knowledge. I'm sure there is another 'newbie' out there that you could sprinkle with your compassionate approach - I think we've all heard enough. In other words....point made, and it's grown dull.

I just wanted to add a thank you to all of you that positively responded to my initial question. Paul will be coming here in the next month or so and we will satisfy our meeting requirement. Someone mentioned the chemistry expected the first time we meet and we both have frequently discussed that moment. I will keep this site posted with updates and questions. To all my fellow UK connections.....stay close, we will need your advice. I wanted to add....we already have the ESTA waiver and of course he has his passport, but is there anything else he should have just to travel on a tourist to the US?

Thanks

Wow,this thread is still alive,very well said,It boggles the mind how someone can say that they're soul mate is across the ocean,and never having met them profess true love!Just crazy,yes you may like the person,in your mind love the person,but there are hundreds of people online that you could of met and said the same thing!....Until you MEET in person establish a real relationship"AKA" person to person,and not for a few weeks at a time but being and living together will you know exactly where you stand...It is utterly foolish to think otherwise..

I hope it's okay if I butt in on my thread. But....I thought that the following definition might help clear up the reasons for your assumptions:

e·go·cen·tric (g-sntrk, g-)adj.1. Holding the view that the ego is the center, object, and norm of all experience.2. a. Confined in attitude or interest to one's own needs or affairs.b. Caring only about oneself; selfish.3. Philosophy a. Viewed or perceived from one's own mind as a center.b. Taking one's own self as the starting point in a philosophical system.

Probably one of my biggest pet peeves in life.....thank you again for giving me yet ANOTHER reason to love Paul. All of these responses that have nothing to do with the goal of obtaining the Visa (of course I'm not talking about my defenders either ), are simply confirmations to all of us that have found a lasting love - that we need to be so thankful for them because there are still shallow people lurking in every corner. I love you Paul!! In fact, Paul read your responses and considers it completely silly to even entertain such fallacies with a response.

I think this has gone too far. As I understand what Kenny is saying, because going from an online relationship to a married couple was a hard change and took a lot of work from my husband and I. So I won't jump all over Kenny, and honestly I think men think more rationally than women when it comes to this subject. I think if you put my husband on the spot and asked him, he'd tell you we married too fast though we met 3 years before getting married. I don't look at it as a fairy tale because international relationships have a lot to conquer, so it may sound sweet and unreal, there are a lot of things we had to over come to be where we are today. A lot of change as a couple and a lot of heartbreak from goodbyes to my husband leaving his family behind. When we applied for the K-1 I thought it was going to be like a fairy tale, I thought life was going to be great because there would be no more tearful goodbyes, but boy was I wrong, it's been a roller coaster. From financial stress to homesickness, it's great having him here but it's hard at the same time. Right now it's better than it's ever been as he's been here over 2 years and has his own life and friends along with our life together. No one really warned me what real life was with my husband, as all I knew was visits where one of us always was off work and sometimes both of us, we had no responsibilities and just were happy to have each other.

I'm a strong believer in online dating and relationships working out, but there is so much you just don't know until you're in that position.

Dawn, you can friend me, and message me anytime. I wish you both the best of luck and a happy first meeting! It's something you'll never forget!

Thank you Kelly! What a great response. And it looks like you had such great success and all done yourself! Good for you! I will certainly keep you close.

Congratulations

Dawn

Not only are they in love BUT THEY ARE ENGAGED!...you have never met in person??...you can't possibly know that you want to spend the rest of your life with this person without having smelled his breath in the morning????

And you, kind sir, just made me love Paul more than I did before I read your comment.

Hey Dawn!

When we were trying to figure out the ins and outs of international travel, and Nik was planning his first visit here for us to meet for the first time was the first time we'd heard about the K-1 fiance visa and the first time we found visa journey. It was all...tee hee, a fiance visa? We had barely decided to be exclusive. haha. We found out what others have already told you, which is that what you really want is the visa waiver program. Sometime before his trip, he'll register online with ESTA and then hop on a plane to see your smiling face in person!

Since you're considering permanent immigration, make sure you read (& listen to when in person) all questions posed by representatives of the US government (even on the VWP visits) very carefully and answer them completely truthfully. Although that sounds sort of obvious, there are a number of people who find that what they felt were innocent misunderstandings are actually misrepresentation (this results in a ban from the US). Particularly the questions about ever being arrested or convicted etc. When they say "ever been" Yes, they mean that one time 15 years ago too.

Hi Heather,

Thank you for the time you put in your response. Your information was helpful and a friendly voice is always encouraging.

Thanks

Dawn

Meanwhile, I'd like to draw your attention to the many resources on this site. You'll find links to them at the top of the page (blue bar, white text - stretch your screen sideways, because the text wraps funny). Someone's already mentioned the guides they are so so so so so great!!! More on those later. Also, you had asked about how long things might take. Then you should look further to the right at Immigration Timelines and you can see all sorts of statistics as you look through the different links there. Although there is data for the K-3, due to some policy changes, you should really restrict yourselves to comparing the K-1 and CR-1. As you're reading the guides, look through the list of evidence you'll need to produce for your future petition - things like passport stamps and boarding passes. Get copies of these when he arrives and put them into your newly created immigration folder. Trust me, it's easier doing it now than having to dig them out months/years later! Finally, I want to show you where the Visa FAQs are. One in particular might be useful to you now: Visiting FAQ I know it says it's for people already in the process, but it has useful tips for successfully entering the country for anyone who is in a relationship with a US citizen. You don't need the whole list of items, but a good selection of them would be good, especially a print out of his itinerary showing the dates of his RETURN TICKET!

Good luck and happy visiting.

I'm going to have to stick up for Dawn here as I knew that I was going to marry my husband before I met him in person. We waited 10 months to meet in person after meeting online, and the only reason we waited so long was because of money. I was so sure I wanted to be with him, that his first visit here was 3 months long and he planned to spend the whole visit with me at my house. No hotel booked and no second thoughts. and after that visit there were talks of getting married right away. Of course we waited because we didn't want to rush into things. But back to what I was saying, He was that same guy I fell in love with online, and meeting in person just made it that much better.

But of course you have to meet before filing the K-1. And not to mention, It'd be a good idea to visit there and have some idea of his culture, though England isn't that much different then the US, it is different and visiting would help you understand him and his ways. For me, going to England, helped me out so I could help my husband when he got home sick once he moved here.

Kelly,

Thanks for your support. Maybe we could friend each other so I can ask your advice as we move along. Thanks again!!

Dawn

Dawn you have got to think this thru...

You are in love with someone you've never met.. How is that even possible? Thats the question everyone is going to ask you.. The USCIS, the Embassy, the POE...

This process is lengthy, involved and very specific rules, designed to prevent fraud... You wont be able to get around the basic requirements? But ask yourself how you would consider marrying a person you've never met in-person... Nevermind the Visa Process Rules, there is a fundamental relationship issue that is being overlooked..

Kenny

Wow Kenny! In such a superficial world we live in, your comment only confirms that our method of falling in love has been more meaningful, more thoughtful, and more appreciating than most conventional methods. We finish each others sentences, we contact each other when the other is hurting and have no idea, and we have learned compromise and appreciation for each other. So...I would love your VISA guidance, but your relationship guidance doesn't line up with what we know and believe as truth.

Kenny,

You're not in the relationships you are guessing or judging over. Do you follow people around here who met on vacation and say "Well, you only knew each other 7 days, so it's not real!!!!?"

When I met Rob I KNEW. It was a slap in the face...it was sitting down and thinking OMG I should have waited for him before I was married. It is the fairy tale. It IS finding the person you're meant to be with, and it's above your reproach or judgements.

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

The poster asked if they had to meet in person. Yes, yes, YES you do. Even knowing Rob was "the one" before I met him in person, I still would not have married without meeting...perhaps from caution. I know how intense your feelings are right now, I've been there, but keep in mind that if it's worth it, it's worth the wait. I waited 3 years and married 2 weeks ago. Best choice ever.

Jill,

Thank you for your comments. We have loved each other since the 3 day we met. Everyday I love him more and we are desperate to grow old together. Thanks again.

I do appreciate everyone's comments regarding the Visa process. When I discovered this site, I thought the Visa process was all anyone would ask. I'm a little surprised that a few of you have questioned our relationship without knowing us. I'm not trying to be ungrateful for your advice but we are both thankful that we've found each other and understand that love is not based on physical attributes (although we've actually seen each other). I love Paul more than I've ever loved anything (in an intimate way). He has unlocked a dream that I buried many years ago. So, we will meet and have no issues with meeting...just was hoping to save our money for the journey. So, with all due respect, we are adults and we both have been in love before and are more than confident of our commitment to this process as well as each other. After all, the true test will be surviving this process, right? lol

In saying all of that...it looks like we are meeting each other and then beginning the petition process. Any help would greatly be appreciated with guidance on our Visa journey.

Thanks so much,

Dawn

It is required that you meet in person when you file your I-129F. You must show pictures of the two of you together.

Good luck on your journey. My fiance is also from England. We filed our petition on Oct. 22. We expect that he will be here around July 1st if that gives you any idea of a timeline.

Read the guides, the timelines and use Visa Journey. It's a huge help!!!

Thank you Lori for your help. It is great to know you are in a similar process. Perhaps we can stay in touch on here. Thanks again.

Hello everyone! My name is Dawn my fiance's name is Paul. I'm in the US and he is in the UK. Our ultimate goal is for him to move here. We know I have to file the 129 petition but would love for someone to let us know time-lines etc. We met online almost 4 mths ago and have not met in person; airfare tickets and knowing it would crush us to separate again. I suppose my question is, how much weight is put on meeting in person? Also, can he come here before the process is completed? Should he come on a tourist visa first to meet? Thank you so much for helping.

Dawn