LiamG

@ Coconuts

yeah i told him that too but he said he'll give her time to think things over. we'll see. thanks!

@ LarrynElena

"but it doesn't sound like she is worried" ...yup i think so. my friend said that his fiancee is more concerned about working instead of the wedding. he's the only one who would always bring up about the wedding whenever they talk. it just sucks cuz he spent a lot already (K1 processing; airfare, wedding rings, etc)...thanks!

@ jrmejia

i know huh. i'll tell him. he only confided to me and my wife regarding his problem. he doesn't want my other friends to know yet. i guess he'd feel embarrassed if no wedding happens. we were just at his "meet my fiancee" party 2 weeks ago. =( thanks!

@ hopp

red flags? thanks!

@ mikeandrein

yup. he said he'll be cautious and more aware. thanks for the advise

@ tim and marie

thanks!

@ Tahoma

"He won't marry her unless she takes his last name? Is this his idea of true love?" > I guess. Having his last name after marriage would mean that she's a "Mrs" already...otherwise, people might still think that she is still single

"You said above that she is staying with her aunt and uncle. Why are you now saying that she stays with her folks?" > "folks" as pertaining to her aunt and uncle & anyone that stays with her in that house. her parents are in the philippines. i guess "folks" is not the appropriate term

@ Laser Lou

thanks

>>>>

To everyone, you people have been really helpful. thanks so much. i'll keep you posted maybe in a few days. thanks for all replies! =)

LiamG

Is the name change the only real issue here? Many people keep their given name for professional reasons.

If it stems beyond that, he should cease contact and report her to ICE.

well the name issue started it but i think there are other issue that he's not telling me. I believe most guys would prefer their last names be used by their wives. He even suggested a "maiden name-last name" format & still the fiancee insisted on her last name only. thanks!

hello. it's my first time here to post but i've been visiting here for tips since 2007. my fiancee came here in sept. 2007 and we got married in oct. we have a 4-month old baby girl now and we're currently waiting for her "removal of condition" decision.

ok, i need your advice folks. it's actually for my friend. i helped him guide thru the K1 process. here's a quick backgrounder: my friend is a Filipino-American US citizen & his fiancee is from the Philippines and she's a nurse over there. I think they met & became together in Jan. 2009. My friend had a chance to visit her in the Philippines again in June 2009. In October last year, he filed for a Fiancee Petition. His fiancee finally arrived last month (July 2010) and she's been here for over 3 weeks now. But she actually stays at her aunt & uncle's residence about 10 mins. away from my friend's house. (During the K1 process, it's been agreed & filed on the application that she'd be staying with him in his house, but she changed her mind after getting her visa. She's supposed to be conservative and can't stay with him under one roof until they get married. My friend understands & he's ok with that)

now here's the main problem. they were scheduled to get married at the LA County Registrars Office last August 11th. When my friend went to deliver her dress for the wedding, she said "she's keeping her last name". she said it's her right not to use my friend's last name. Her main reason being it might affect her papers/documents, etc regarding her NLEX/nursing license (Apparently, she took an online NLEX exam when she was still in the Philippines and all she needed to do is to come to the US before she could pursue a nursing career here). Now my friend doesnt like that idea that she keeps her last name after marriage. I mean in most cultures, usually the woman takes her husband's last name. The fiancee is standing by her decision & my friend said that unless she takes his last name, he will not marry her. My friend said that she even told him that "she doesnt love him that much anyway". She said that if they don't get married, that she's just gonna return to the Philippines. But my friend does not believe that. He's starting to doubt that she was really intending to marry him. He thinks that maybe she was just being brainwashed by her aunt & uncle. By the way, the uncle works as an "immigration officer".

Last night, my friend & the fiancee with each other's folks had a talk to resolve the issue. No resolution. The immigration officer uncle even threatened my friend that he's gonna do a background check on my him. for now my friend said they're just gonna cool off & not rush on things. they still have like 2 months before that 90-day thingy expires.

Anyway, i was thinking..what if the fiancee is indeed being brainwashed by her folks & decide not to leave the US despite not getting married, what are the consequences? Can my friend force her to leave the US? Can he report her to the UCIS for not leaving? Will my friend get in trouble for not marrying her cuz of that "last name" issue?

here are some "weird" stuffs:

1. the fiancee stays with her folks..& everytime my friend would pick her up, she has to take her home at a certain time. She has a curfew and she's already 25 years old..but my friend understand that since she's living with her folks

2. accdg to my friend, his fiancee a supposedly very private. Her coming to the US is known to her family only & NOT to others like friends, etc. He said that no one really knows that she came to the US. And that she has a Facebook account but keeps it to herself. She doesnt tell him nor add him to her friends list. It's just so weird to be that so private. Maybe she's hiding something. Maybe she really have a real boyfriend or something somewhere. What do you think?

Anyway, please advice. I'm really sad and concerned about my friend. He's really nice and doesnt deserve this. I hope im wrong but i think the fiancee and her uncle & aunt may have planned this all along; come to the US & find a way to fix things for her to stay legally, etc.

that's it for now. Thanks so much in advance for your suggestions.

LiamG

hello. it's my first time here to post but i've been visiting here for tips since 2007. my fiancee came here in sept. 2007 and we got married in oct. we have a 4-month old baby girl now and we're currently waiting for her "removal of condition" decision.

ok, i need your advice folks. it's actually for my friend. i helped him guide thru the K1 process. here's a quick backgrounder: my friend is a Filipino-American US citizen & his fiancee is from the Philippines and she's a nurse over there. I think they met & became together in Jan. 2009. My friend had a chance to visit her in the Philippines again in June 2009. In October last year, he filed for a Fiancee Petition. His fiancee finally arrived last month (July 2010) and she's been here for over 3 weeks now. But she actually stays at her aunt & uncle's residence about 10 mins. away from my friend's house. (During the K1 process, it's been agreed & filed on the application that she'd be staying with him in his house, but she changed her mind after getting her visa. She's supposed to be conservative and can't stay with him under one roof until they get married. My friend understands & he's ok with that)

now here's the main problem. they were scheduled to get married at the LA County Registrars Office last August 11th. When my friend went to deliver her dress for the wedding, she said "she's keeping her last name". she said it's her right not to use my friend's last name. Her main reason being it might affect her papers/documents, etc regarding her NLEX/nursing license (Apparently, she took an online NLEX exam when she was still in the Philippines and all she needed to do is to come to the US before she could pursue a nursing career here). Now my friend doesnt like that idea that she keeps her last name after marriage. I mean in most cultures, usually the woman takes her husband's last name. The fiancee is standing by her decision & my friend said that unless she takes his last name, he will not marry her. My friend said that she even told him that "she doesnt love him that much anyway". She said that if they don't get married, that she's just gonna return to the Philippines. But my friend does not believe that. He's starting to doubt that she was really intending to marry him. He thinks that maybe she was just being brainwashed by her aunt & uncle. By the way, the uncle works as an "immigration officer".

Last night, my friend & the fiancee with each other's folks had a talk to resolve the issue. No resolution. The immigration officer uncle even threatened my friend that he's gonna do a background check on my him. for now my friend said they're just gonna cool off & not rush on things. they still have like 2 months before that 90-day thingy expires.

Anyway, i was thinking..what if the fiancee is indeed being brainwashed by her folks & decide not to leave the US despite not getting married, what are the consequences? Can my friend force her to leave the US? Can he report her to the UCIS for not leaving? Will my friend get in trouble for not marrying her cuz of that "last name" issue?

here are some "weird" stuffs:

1. the fiancee stays with her folks..& everytime my friend would pick her up, she has to take her home at a certain time. She has a curfew and she's already 25 years old..but my friend understand that since she's living with her folks

2. accdg to my friend, his fiancee a supposedly very private. Her coming to the US is known to her family only & NOT to others like friends, etc. He said that no one really knows that she came to the US. And that she has a Facebook account but keeps it to herself. She doesnt tell him nor add him to her friends list. It's just so weird to be that so private. Maybe she's hiding something. Maybe she really have a real boyfriend or something somewhere. What do you think?

Anyway, please advice. I'm really sad and concerned about my friend. He's really nice and doesnt deserve this. I hope im wrong but i think the fiancee and her uncle & aunt may have planned this all along; come to the US & find a way to fix things for her to stay legally, etc.

that's it for now. Thanks so much in advance for your suggestions.

LiamG