tc2010

Nope! She is far from depressed, she's moved in with one of her "friends" from Facebook, somewhere around Greensboro, NC. Not sure what line she handed HIM or how long their online affair had been going on. Don't really care... she's gone.

Do know for sure she is not where she would like me to believe she is (esp. before the divorce is final)... and at this point in time I don't care where the "Greed Card" "Gold digger" is. She is now the problem of someone else who invited the misery, heartache and grief into his home. Hope he enjoys it!!! It won't last long and she will be back to her normal moody greedy self. If he's stupid enough to give her any access to his finances.... he'll be a pauper in less than a year... if he doesn't she'll go from zero to B####h in less than 2.3 sec. and decide that HE cannot be trusted... or some other B.S. she will invent at the time.

As far as the "Russian people being cold"... I know that to be completely FALSE! There may be a few, but that would be present in ALL cultures globally. In general, of the Russian People I have met, I find the majority are very warm hearted and kind.

Heheheh.... actually I was talking about a new Harley-Davidson Dyna Wide Glide. They're running $17,00.00 out the door with a 2 tone paint job and "b**** pad" on the rear fender...

I'd forgotten about the other meaning, implication and/or reference from days long past.

It is what it is....

Like my old football coach used to say.....

"No matter how you dress her and no matter how much make-up and perfume you put on a pig.... shes still a PIG!"

No matter what spin, angle or vantage point, I put on the experience in trying to understand this situation.... it still looks like I got scammed.

I'm still tallying the losses in time, finances, and heartaches... trusting anyone else again is going to be very very difficult!

I should have gotten the "Wide Glide" instead of marrying a foreigner... it would have been a much smoother ride!

Well, its been a rather uneventful summer.....

Discovered from analyzing her internet traffic packets that she had been planning this all from the start. Since April I managed to capture every webpage she visited since, every email she sent or received, every chat session (video, audio and text), basically every move she made online. All without aid of intrusive software on her computers. Guess it pays to have an "online video game addict/network security specialist" in the family.

Even captured her internet traffic after she bought a new computer and wouldn't let it out of her sight. Have also accumulated several disk images of her hard drives during the summer as well. Even managed to save the webpages from one of her forums before catching her deleting the old postings there, its humorous, she confirmed her ownership of the accounts by doing so. I now have a lot more data and evidence for ICE to go through and I'm sure they have the forensics software to decrypt the files I haven't gotten to yet. Got everything backed up and duplicate copies stored in a safe location outside the home, just in case.

She is staying in a local motel, before heading to the airport and on to North Carolina on Sunday to be closer to Marina, her "friend from Vladivostok". Found her airline reservations and email communications with her ex in the last group of TCP packets. She tried to invoke a small quarrel with me over the income taxes the night before she left, several minutes after making the airline reservations. I had filed "married filing separately" leaving her no rights to the refund check or even copies of the signed 1040.

She has made a substantial amount of money doing translations in the last 3 months, which I' sure the IRS will be interested in as well.

The divorce should be final on the 20th of September. All in all... I think things are looking up.

If you want to build a good solid credit history, you need to build your savings at the same time.

One old but good method nobody will tell you about is;

1) invest in a Certificate of Deposit with your local bank or Credit Union (about $1,000.00 should be sufficient)

2) use that certificate of deposit as collateral on a secured loan

3) set the payoff for one year

4) using the proceeds of the first loan invest in another CD at a different financial institution (repat steps 1 - 3 above)

5) make your monthly payments on time (or earlier) every time (use the autopay option on your checking account)

6) use the proceeds of the second loan to invest in a Mutual Fund

A classmate from high school showed me this method shortly after he became a branch manager at a local bank.

This method forces the bank to report the loans and transactions on a regular basis establishing a good credit history

and;

at the end of one year you should have a start for a good credit standing AND $3,000.00 in some form of savings.

It generally takes 2 to 3 years of continuous employment and good payment history to establish a really good credit rating.

NOTE: Any more than 2 forms of credit cards or "revolving charge accounts" and it impacts your credit negatively

unused available credit counts against you as if it were maxed out because it is available even after a loan is made

Actually this is my third marriage, with any luck at all and God's good grace, it will be my last.

Thankfully I have recently discovered meditation and am rediscovering my spirituality while keeping my integrity intact. It as been most comforting in yet another "drama" in this crazy life. For a pleasant change of pace I am finding peace and tranquility in the midst of turmoil, as I watch this plot unfold.

I will add at this time that much more is coming to light than ever expected and I am discovering (much to my disappointment) that my intuition and "gut feeling" has been right on the mark and 100% accurate.

I am not "going crazy"!

I am not "imagining things"!

Nor am I "twisting" or "distorting facts"!

I simply call it the way I see it!

It appears my "wife" has been "venting" on other Forums (plotting/planning divorce as early as January 2011) before I could file the paperwork for AOS.

Further it appears she was very concerned she would not be able to hold up convincing appearances 3 to 5 weeks before the April 28 USCIS interview in Detroit.

She vented about my 2 sons (both full time students, one in college the other in high school) not working, while she herself refused to even consider looking for work.

Her statements alone on the Forums would be enough to cause questions of her true intents of a "legitimate marriage"... let alone a "continuous and ongoing relationship".

By her own admissions in Forums the relationship was over before the AOS was filed. That in itself I do believe constitutes a fraudulent marriage, or at the very least marriage for fraudulent immigration purposes.

We have filed for divorce and it should be final the first part of October and I will be glad to get on with my life when this "act and scene" has played out.

Thanks to the concern and tips (sent by private messages here) from genuine and caring people in this Forum. I cannot express my thanks and gratitude enough.

I'm sure there will be more information (and drama) come forth as time progresses.

To my understanding she lived in an apartment which was owned by her ex and was living there with her daughter rent free.

At the same time she was self employed as a freelance interpreter/translator. I'm not aware of the full details of the arrangement, but her ex provided her with a monthly allowance for living expenses for her and her daughter.

According to her the ex lived with his mother and only rarely visited the daughter. There were however numerous times during our video chats that her ex was present at the apartment "to visit with the 3 y.o. daughter.

I'm not sure what to make of the present happenings, she seems to be going to great lengths to keep the lines of communication open with the ex, while snubbing me.

I hate to think the worst of anyone, but since a rather nasty divorce from my ex-wife, the breakdown in our communication is sure not helping my own hypervigilance (or paranoia) as the case may be.

I would prefer to think the root cause is depression or some other malady instead of jumping to conclusions and assumptions of her sole motive for comming here is U.S. citizenship.

She is very well educated and would be a very valuable asset to any organization she chose to work for. She is a complete and incurable "social butterfly", very much my opposite. I tend to enjoy periods of peace and quiet away from the mobs and crowds. I can't fault her for that as a personality trait.

The lack of communications and the absence of any long term plans and goals sure has my nerves on edge at this time.

I am not sure how nationality would play an important part in all this, but she is from Russia.... not the Phils.

I am aware however that the age differences would have a major impact on a relationship, especially our 21 years difference between us.

I neglected to mention the daughters age which as of a week ago is 4 y.o., yes she is of pre-school age. That still is not an excuse to haunt the parks and playgrounds for 4 to 8 hours each day. There are plenty of daycare providers in the area and there are opportunities for employment in the area.

As to whether it was all originally for a green card or not, only she will ever know for sure what her true motives were/are. The circumstances seem to be stacking up to lean in that direction at this time.

My wife and I met online. After a whirlwind romance decided to get married. We jumped through all the legal USCIS hoops, got married in November, 2 months after she arrived here on a K-1. It hasn't been easy either of us to adjust our lifestyles.

About a two to three weeks before she arrived here our communications began to get strained. She would become cross or upset over minor things. I assumed it was just stress of relocating to a strange new world and the thoughts of being seperated from her family and friends. I thought she would adjust with time.

We have gotten into several disagreements in the past 8 to 9 months and end up not speaking for weeks on end. Marriage counseling isn't an option, she just says "it doesn't apply to us". It has gotten to the point if I want to communicate with her I have to send an email. Her last reply to my question regarding "marriage counseling was;

"This is actually really silly. We have nothing to 'restore' so 'marriage restoration' is not about us. Can we just be friends who have sex sometimes? Without this artificial strain trying to act like what we are not?"

She spends most of her time online, I assume, writing on the forums or in chat. When she isn't occupying her time online she is "going for a walk" with her daughter in tow. She would like to find a job, but we have no sitter who can speak the child's language.

I'm not a "touchy/feely" kind of person, but I do enjoy a hug or a kiss from time to time, just for no reason.

When laying in bed after waking up, if I put my arm around her and say "good morning", she takes my hand as if it were a dirty diaper, moves it off her and jumps out of bed with netbook computer in hand, retreating to another room in the house to go online. Needless to say I am much less than pleased with the way things are going. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to deduce she isn't happy. It seems the only time things appear to improve is if there is an appointment approaching with USCIS. Which there should be no more of for awhile, she has her "temporary green card" now.

I thought I was lonely before we met, but it was nothing compared to what I'm going through now. My own sense of honor would not permit me to break the marriage vows and have an affair or to seek comfort outside the relationship. I still have very strong feelings for her, I'm simply left with no real means of expressing them presently. It's been a little over 6 months since we married and all we can seem to do is to put each other through the hell of some sort of "artificial marriage".

My question(s) are:

If we were to divorce would she have to return to her home country?

There is nothing for her to return to, no home, no job, no school for her daughter..... nothing!

Since I have already signed the I-485, would I still be responsible for her and her daughter if we do divorce and she remains here and self-sponsors?

What options are available? I am still recovering financially from the expenses of moving my wife and her daughter over here and it looks like it will be at least another two years before I can even begin to put away savings for a divorce.

I'm reasonably sure she will see the post here, and that will cause some additional friction.

What scares me is the advice I've seen on other threads here on VJ, suggesting an immigrant spouse file charges of abuse. I'm not a violent person. I much prefer to "live and let live". The stress of this dysfunctional relationship is killing me.

Advice.... comments?

Your question indicates you have not yet read the I-129F instructions which clearly indicate you send a photocopy of a certified copy of each and every divorce decree for petitioner AND beneficiary. Studying the guides here and all form instructions will be critical to your ultimate success. You'll still have questions but at least you'll have clue what you don't know or understand.

Thanks! I printed the instructions earlier in the week(for easier reading) and had read it several times. It was still clear as mud..... guess I should have checked the page count first before posting..... was missing page #2. I have that corrected now... will be re-reading in the morning this time with highlighter in hand and all pages present.

One of the requirements for the K-1 Petition is a Court Certified copy of the Divorce Decree.

Is it required that a Colored Seal be affixed to the document?

In cases where a petitioner has been married and divorced more than once. Is it required to submit a copy for each divorce?