Gone To Texas

When I was 19 years old, I had a 16 year old girlfriend and was charged with having sex with a minor. I know the general public's perception of a sex offender is a child molester or rapist but I am neither. And it bugs me to no end that I somehow ended up being grouped in this category. I was a teenager with a teenage girlfriend that happened to be a little younger than me. I was given a 6 month jail sentence for this. I am 25 years old now and have not committed any crime since nor do I ever plan to. I have met a wonderful woman overseas and wish to be with her but due to the Adam Walsch Act I'm wondering if I would be able to get a K1 Visa. Or if I have any chance to bring her over at all. I really wish to be with this woman but am scared that I might not be able to. Any advice or information would greatly be appreciated. Thank you.

Depends on what state you are living in. You may want to hire an attorney and make an attempt to have your record expunged. If enough time has elapsed, and the woman who was considered the victim of the offense were willing to cooperate, you might have a shot at clearing your record. This will basically involve filing a petition with the Court in your jurisdiction that handles this, and will require a hearing before a judge. If there is no real opposition from the victim (her family won't have a say anymore because she is no longer a juvenile), the prosecuting attorney's office, or the investigating law enforcement agency, you have a shot at clearing your name under these special circumstances. Not saying it WILL work, and a lot depends on your own state's law, but this might be a good step if you are serious about this relationship.

Mark

Hi there,

I just got a criminal speed ticket for driving 74 at 50 zone (I must have missed the sign, the speed limit was 65. I just kept going after I passed a car and forgot to slow down) in Arizona. The court day is Dec 16 and my oath is scheduled on Dec 17. I'm planning to reschedule the court to an earlier day (since I have a very important meeting on Dec 16 for work) and hoping I can convince the judge to change the criminal ticket to civil. I've been in the states for almost 10 years and this is my first speed ticket. On top of worry about my good character being a citizen, now, I'm more worried about the oath. Am I going to be allowed to attend the oath as scheduled because of this? What's gonna happen to me? How should I get this ticket resolved in order not to affect my oath? Please give me some advise. Thank you in advance.

Since there was not an arrest made, and you only received a traffic citation, you should be able to go in to see the judge early to enter a plea. He/she might work with you and downgrade the speed that you plea guilty to as being closer to the actual speed limit, and make it a little less expensive.

You might also ask about something called Deferred Adjudication, which would allow you to enter in a plea of guilty, but you would not have a final conviction on your criminal or traffic history. Basically you would plea guilty, pay a fine and court costs, and then behave and not get a ticket for 30 days or more, and the offense charge would be dismissed.

Last, you might try an alternative, since this is your first traffic offense. Many courts offer defendants the opportunity to take a Defensive Driving course, which upon completion, the judge would dismiss the ticket entirely. There are usually costs incurred for the course and might also involve paying some small court cost as well, but worth it if you are wanting to be done and out of this charge.

You should still disclose what happened, and also what final fine, costs and course of action you took in remedying the ticket. Better safe than sorry. They will still be able to pull your criminal and traffic history and the citation will still show up. You just need a final disposition to be done I think.

Keep in mind that every judge is different, and of course, laws and alternatives vary from jurisdiciton to jurisdiction, but I hope some of this helps a little.

Good luck.

Mark

Being brainwashed by local propaganda would mean exactly that--thinking that Russia is good and America is evil and Russians are unhappy outside of Russia and if you have a kid with a foreign man you'll end up divorced and you won't be allowed to see the child and so on.

I don't think I would want a fiance' that could or would be brainwashed into believing any false ideal. Meanwhile, I also really don't think that it matters where either member of the relationship is from, whether from a major metropolitan city or the country, or somewhere in between. The only important thing is that they are happy together, and that if there are any transitions or adjustments that would be needed, that both had discussed it and were firmly aware of the differences in lifestyle well before becoming engaged or committing to make a life together.

It still all boils down to finding the right one for you, who also happens to think that you are the right one for her. Beyond that, everything should be based on mutual love, trust and the ability to work through difficulties together. It is probably more important that you both trust each other beyond even simple doubt, that you love each other completely, and would do anything for the other. You should also be proud to be with her in public, and likewise for her.

As for this situation, Jake, yes, I imagine that it is a bit of a letdown, but I think we all go into this hoping that we have that "first meeting" that there is this magical chemistry that half the websites talk about. Sometimes it happens, sometimes it doesn't. The same holds true here in the U.S. with men and women in relationships.

I know you might not agree, but look at it this way. You spent about what?...$2,500 for a trip that took you to another continent, where you got the opportunity to experience a completely new culture. You had company...well, for the most part...whilst you were there and have a few good stories to tell. You were in the Navy, so you probably remember that thrill of traveling to new countries. Just checkmark the Ukraine as another cool country that you have visited during your lifetime. I wouldn't sweat this relationship too much, and would move on to something better taking what you've learned so that you can make a more educated choice next time around.

As for trying it all again. I imagine that we have all had relationships, both foreign and domestic, that didn't work out, but because we are all on here, apparently we didn't give up. You shouldn't either. I don't know your health problem, and it is none of my business, and I hope that you will be alright, but don't give up.

When you consider whether to try again, look at it as a fishing trip.....you have a choice. You can go out to your backyard pond, maybe travel up the road to a nearby lake, or give it one more chance on a deep sea fishing expedition. You decide. (And I imagine I might get jumped on for this comparison....but it makes a little sense.)

Good luck.....and to input what was placed in the first part of the thread, I had no problems using my own banking institution's debit/atm card. (It does have that Visa logo on it, so that might be why...it's a check card)...but no problem at all. I did let my bank know the dates I would be out of the United States, so that they could ensure there were no blocks on the account when transactions came through, and also ensured that it was "reblocked" to prevent any unauthorized transactions from overseas after I had returned. Hope this helps.

Mark

This is my first "post", so forgive me if I completely mess it up. Since today is Thanksgiving, I was just wondering how well Russian women, or women from any other nationality or culture, adapt to American holidays like Thanksgiving, Christmas, etc.

My fiance' and I have talked and compared holidays quite a bit, and I know that the Orthodox Christmas is actually January 7th, which makes it interesting. So I am already thinking our household will put up a tree in December and not take it down until after January 7th. I think that the kids would probably love the idea of 2 Christmases.

But as for the food, the religious context, and other parts of our Christmas, Easter, Thanksgiving, etc, I wonder how well they adapt, and do you make a very long list of American holidays and their holidays and try to celebrate each as it would be celebrated in that country, or at least the ones that they consider vitally important?

And for those of you who have your significant other with you, do you guys go "all out" on the food preparation and celebrations of these events....American and Russian?

I'm thinking that the answer might be just like it is here for American families....some do....and some don't......but I thought I would just throw it out there.

Peace out......and Happy Thanksgiving everybody.

Mark

Yes, Slim, I agree--let's keep it mod free and not a pity party either. We all have had our tough moments with this visa game. Anyone who entered into this crazy world should have known up front it's not a cake walk. Asking questions and seeking help is different than whining and moaning about the hard parts. Those who hand out crying towels only enable this stuff.

I do find it funny that the Russian forum has gotten a KGB-like quality these days. Maybe we should reclaim the old name, Soviet Union, if neighbor rats on neighbor?

I got a one-day suspension for a joke. Why? Somebody went crying to the teacher.

I like the old sayings best...like "Take it like a man."

My preacher would call it "stepping on people's toes" when somebody talks about something "close to home" to the reader/listener. Most of us are ok with it, or even consider it entertaining, when there is a little banter and debate.....until..... the talk involves something that affects them directly in their own life or relationship. Not knocking anybody, nor pointing fingers at who is right or wrong, but we all live in glass houses, and sooner or later somebody's going to pick up a rock.

It' better to debate, even battle a bit if you feel strongly enough about the topic, without direct or personal attacks, or abusive language. In my business, when a person resorts to personal attacks or abusive language, it's the first sign that he/she has lost his/her cool, and has thus lost the argument for lack of additional facts to support it. Also we have to be adults and realize that generalizations made by a commenter about unique issues involving relationships does not reflect a direct accusation or attack on somebody or their significant other, and should not be interpreted as such. Reporting every time our feelings get bruised a bit is not a mature act, nor will it help in future dealings with people in the real world.....and trust me....the first time you and your wife/husband argue, there won't be a moderator button to push. And yes, there will be disagreements, maybe even arguments. We are all human beings and that is how we are geared.

I've learned a lot about what to do/what not to do on here, and about many of the difficulties and benefits of an international marriage, and I feel that this forum is a valuable tool for us "rookies" to gain important information, and support during our own troubling days of waiting and worrying.

So in the immortal words of Rodney King........."Why can't we all just get along?" (Sorry.....I couldn't resist.)

Man up.

Just sayin'

[but even MORE - for HER NOT to visit him at least once.

I don't think my RW would have had an opportunity to come visit me. I know she has traveled to many other countries, but with the little one, how could she?

So we met and then we continued to correspond and the rest is our history.

Yes, our relationship is based on mutual honesty and trust.

What is wrong with this?

Yes, we know that we will have many challenges ahead of us. We have talked about how we will handle this.

Yes, she will have the final say on if we marry and AOS or they go back within 90 days. What is wrong with that?

Yes there are the do-good-knowers out there. They will trap themselves.

But, there are some very real people out there and they will persevere and come together. Encourage them. Cherish them. They are the true survivors.

First, Baron555, congratulations on the K1....I know first hand that it is a long road to walk, and hope that we arrive there one day soon as well.

Next, guys and ladies, please forgive me, but I'm not as proficient in this whole reply/cut/copy thing on here, so I'll just try to handle the responses to my response briefly. It's probably correct that I went overboard in collecting documenation, including receipts, etc. However, I still maintain that more is better, especially if it provides proof that we were spending a great deal of time together, and doing more than just a brief meeting to satisfy statutory requirements.

I also agree that it is the quality rather than the quantity that is most important. Meeting family members, children, spending time.....even something as simple as going to movies together (and yes.....I'll admit it....I even scanned and provided copies of the movie tickets.....those from movies in Moscow and here in Texas.....it's ok to laugh....I have to admit that it is kind of funny when I think about it.....but I'd do it again. But you are right that the documentation....whether ICQ chats, e-mails, phone records, photographs, etc......it should all show real love, commitment and intent to not just marry, but to truly be a man and wife, and share a family together.

As for me getting the opportunity to go to Moscow. I admit that I was fortunate to go and spend a little over a week, but that week only felt like a day or two and suddenly I was faced with a heart-wrenching departure at the airport. But you know....I think that this was a good test of a relationship as well, and told me just how real this all is......leaving should be difficult, and trust me, it was. And yes, I was also fortunate that she was able to come here as well. This was really her idea at the beginning. Truthfully, my trip to Moscow was for two purposes that we both understood......to meet each other and to see if the pixels, data and voice on a telephone really had that "chemistry" that everybody talks about.....to make sure that the love was real. The second reason was of course also to satisfy the statutory requirements of having at least one "meeting". And well....I won't lie.....I REALLY wanted to see Moscow, and I recommend it to anybody to go there some day.....even if your spouse is from some other country or continent...take her there and walk along Red Square....see the Kremlin and see the culture. Amazing.

But back to what I was saying, she wanted to also make sure that my home (remember I'm in Texas.....and not in a major city) was proper to raise her son, and also so that she could speak with school officials at the local school district about education opportunities. She also wanted to meeet my family members, my friends, my co-workers and see my office and the life I led. I think that it was all very intelligent on her part to want to know all of this beforehand. The plan sounded good in December of 2008 as I was leaving Moscow.....very logical. But by April, we both desparately wanted to see each other again, and it became much more than just a class field trip that she had initially planned. (If she's reading this.....I couldn't help the class field trip part....sorry..

After this we initiated our own 129 application process, and by September, we couldn't stand to be apart and she flew back one more time. This time we didn't do as much traveling as we did just getting to know each other and enjoying our time together. Neither of us are rich, or even what would be considered "well to do"....but we made things work so that we could be together at least once more whilst we waited for the K1 process to be completed.

And yes, as a working man myself, I know that it can be expensive....well, who am I kidding? It IS expensive to go to her home country, and yes, for her to come back to my own home on two occassions as well. I recommend that you both see each other's world. If you cannot visit her home prior to marriage, then at least try to save and budget for a trip together. Meet her family, her friends, and let her lead you on your own field trip. If she lives in Moscow, it will take her at least a week to show you all of the major things.....I was there about 8 days, and still missed a lot.

And if you can, bring her to your own life. Let her get to know the people you are friends with, let your family meet her before you bring her here permanently. I know it may not be economically possible at time....and with todays recession/depression/etc......it's probably harder than ever before, but it can also be worth it in the long run, so that you know (and she knows) that when she says "Yes!" to your proposal, that she is doing it having full knowledge of your life and what it represents, including what her future will be.

Last, (and I'm not going to stick my neck out too far on this), but in most cases, love like this.....an international relationship....is not something that is accidental, nor is it in anyway like growing up next door to this woman. For a man (and I'm not being chauvinistic ladies....just trying to use an example).....for a man to want to marry a woman from a foreign country.....one that he has never met before, he should also weigh in all of the options that he has in life.....career, stability, home, transportation, environment, family, good/bad habits....before starting on this adventure. It's probably not a good idea to simply log onto Elena's Models, pick a beautiful woman, and begin corresponding with her leading to a love relationship, unless you are honest and upfront about all things....good and bad. Many women in this world, no matter what nationality, are willing to pursue a career, and some insist on it, but if they are to work when they arrive in the United States, it should be based on a mutual understanding, and not a surprise.

I think that finances can be the biggest and smallest part of a relationship. In this manner, I mean that if two people are working together toward a common goal and both are honest in their intent and what they expect, then finances are only as significant as they want them to be. If a couple enters a relationship expecting two completely different things involving lifestyle, work, etc, then finances can be a tremendous burden that follows them everywhere, and this burden becomes regret, disappointment and lastly resentment.....at that point things begin to crater pretty quick.

I think I'm rambling now, so I'll shut up. Again, these are just a few comments from a guy that mostly watches the conversation, and is probably only right half the time when I respond. To all of you who have completed your K1 process, congratulations. To all of you that are already married and starting families and a life together.......you are the true winners of the prize.

Peace out.

Mark

(and btw....I made the Elena's Models comment because that is where I found my fiance' as well. Thank you, EM

Just to update everyone.

First, much thanks for all the warm wishes and prayers. We folks are great; don't forget it.

I just got back from sending 10 pounds of documents and photos via FedEx to the Embassy. Hope to get that large box there by Wed.

I also have scanned in a select bunch of emails sent and received over our lifetime together, re-printed all our phone records, re-printed the Skype calls (about 230 Skype calls for us with many over 2 hours in length), and sent 36 photos (with labels affixed to the back stating who/where/when and case #).

Tonight I will email the Embassy my new 3 page Fiance Letter of Intent & Statement of Relationship letter. I will also send them all the photos inserted onto Word document pages, the last three months of phone records and all the Skype logs. Hopefully the lady will read these and grant our visa and just wait for the FedEx package for their files.

What I tell them in this letter, and which became crystal clear to me as I read through our many emails since the beginning, is here is a couple that has gone through the natural progression of a relationship. You can just see and feel it through the emails. I should have done this for the interview but that is behind us. Actually we communicate more often than a couple who lives in the same city!!

My only real fear is that I have created a monster?!!! I can see fiancees and fiances lining up outside the Embassy toting 50 kg of documents

Yes the lady said, "Even More"! So More is what she will get.

Actually, I think you have a great idea. All too often, during this long process, we start trying to cut corners and see just what we "need" to have for USCIS....and later for the State Department. Typically, in normal government operations, the more you innundate them with, the less likely they will want to wade through the vast pile of e-mails, chat archives, phone records, pay statements, tax records, photographs, receipts, etc. I even scanned in every little receipt from the various restaurants, shops....even gas stations (located along our vacation travel route here in Texas) just to show the dates, times locations that purchases were made whilst we were together....the boarding passes, and visa stamps corroborate the dates. I know it sounds paranoid, and probably overboard, but I scanned everything from my Moscow visit, and both of her Texas visits. I guess it's better safe than sorry.....and although we have not reached our date yet (this December), I know that it must be worrisome and definitely cause anxiety for a couple to have somebody delay their K1 because of "not enough". My fiance' might need a forklift with all of the documents that we have scanned, PDF'd, e-mailed, and FedEx'ed. Btw....does the Embassy have a loading dock?

Something else I have done, along with sending the monthly phone bills from AT&T each month to her, I have also scanned and forwarded every pay statement I receive each two weeks. Again....it might be overboard, but I want them to know that I can support my family, and show steady employment. I try to do it each time I get something, just so that I won't wake up the morning before the interview and make a mad scanning/e-mailing rush to get everything to her. One other thing was to forward copies of my current retirement statements to USCIS in the initial application packet, along with sending them to her as well for her interview. I am still probably a good 25 years from even considering retirement, but providing that annual statement documentation also shows that I have future plans for our financial stability, and an ability to provide for a family during my retirement years as well.

Just throwing it out there.

Peace Out.

- Mark

Right in line with my comment before regarding what I told my fiancee about being faithful forever if I lived in Russia with her. I would be like a kid in a candy store ... it would be difficult not to want to try a few different flavors.

Exactly. It's way too easy to "trade her in" in Russia. FSU women know that and that's why many seek out an "old rich bald guy" here in the States. He doesn't have that same option because theres a much higher probability they can make a lasting relationship in the U.S.

- ehm.. you think Russian women just seat and wait to be traded.. probably even stay in a line... Interesting point of view

You, guys read books like 'why marry a Russian woman' or what?

Ehm.......Actually, I did read Elena Petrova's "How To Find And Marry A Girl Like Me".

More importantly........

A husband and wife are sound asleep in bed. It's the middle of the night, and the wife awakens suddenly from a dream and sits up shouting, "Quick! Get out! My husband is home!"...........

The husband....startled awake and confused by her shouting, immediately jumps from the bed, opens a window and leaps out, running across the yard......

Question......who has the guiltiest conscience?

Sorry......I just couldn't resist trying to lighten the atmosphere......or at least giving it a shot.....

Peace out.

Mark

Oh.....and she is an extremely good shot.

With what?

.22? .45? 12 Gauge? .30-06? 9mm?

It will make a difference. Not much but you need to know your boundaries!!!

.45LC....snub nose revolver, .22 semi-automatic pistol, and .223 rifle. Haven't tried her on a shotgun yet. I might try her with a Winchester Defender 12 gauge first. Or perhaps a side by side 12. (not both barrels at once), and maybe also with my Colt 1911. (She enjoys the pistols a lot.)

Why is it that there aren't 48,000 American Men on websites offering to move to Russia to marry women?

I think that I know the answer to that question (in my humble opinion)

... because they cannot be the "man of the house" if they move to a country where they will have a hard time finding a job. And in some cases, because they are lazy to learn a new language, so they prefer to put the burden on the woman.

In my personal case, if I were legal to work there, I would probably consider it. I already tried in a different country, but I did not find an equivalent job (I searched seven months), so I was forced to return, because if I did not eat I would not be alive anymore.

The thought about putting the burden on the woman to learn English is a good point. It's a bit unfair for one thing, but I believe there are trade-offs in every situation, such as language for love. I do have to say that these women are very brave, many that do not speak the language at all are willing to leave not only their home, but their country, their continent.....and cross the ocean to be with their future husband. Not sure how many guys would make that leap of faith.

In my own case, I'm lucky that my fiance' speaks English fluently. And she brought this up many times on how difficult it must be for others to communicate if there is little to no common ground verbally.

I'm not trying to brag, but she is extremely intelligent, has a degree, very well read, can talk politics, culture, tourism, life, gardening, literature, computer science, and home decor easily and with great knowledge. She has a very respectable career in a great part of Moscow, but wants to leave this world to venture into my own part of the Texas "wilderness".

I have to admit that although I was ready to marry her from the first day we met in Moscow, she maintained a logical stance, further developing our relationship over the course of another ten months or so, flying to my own state of Texas twice to take a look at my home, my yard, meet my friends, visit my office, interact with my family, and even visit the local school district to ascertain the quality of education available in my area for children.

I must say that she is definitely not some village girl looking to live in something made of brick instead of a hut with branches for a roof. I would imagine that there are many women out there who have a powerful intellect and a rational train of thought, and I'm just happy that I found the One for me.

The only drawback.......she does not like the hens that I have in the back of my property, and is not willing to establish a peace treaty.......no matter how many eggs they lay. (her words....not mine)

Oh.....and she is an extremely good shot.

Just thought I would throw that out there.

Nite,

Mark

Is this thread a joke? Are these men for real? This subject makes me truly sick to my stomach! I'm not even going to comment further. I just cant believe what I'm reading....!!

First rule of thumb.....never pass out on a bench in Hyde Park......ehm.........always try to stay sober enough to make it to Heathrow. They have comfortable benches, and security won't mess with you if you look like any other young foolish American who has done too much pub crawling, and can't find your way back to the Union Jack Club.

Or if you have buddies with the Met, they can let you crash in the police barracks.

Totally unrelated to the current subject matter, but I couldn't resist.

And to clear the confusion....if any....I noticed that you guys were K1'ing from the UK (new term? K1'ing?).....so I had a few flashbacks.

And I still agree that waiting for your fiance' to get to you is worth the wait as well.

Is this thread a joke? Are these men for real? This subject makes me truly sick to my stomach! I'm not even going to comment further. I just cant believe what I'm reading....!!

First rule of thumb.....never pass out on a bench in Hyde Park......ehm.........always try to stay sober enough to make it to Heathrow. They have comfortable benches, and security won't mess with you if you look like any other young foolish American who has done too much pub crawling, and can't find your way back to the Union Jack Club.

Or if you have buddies with the Met, they can let you crash in the police barracks.

Totally unrelated to the current subject matter, but I couldn't resist.

Ehm… it’s so funny to read the demands... Victoria’s Secret model bringing you cold beer asking you in a perfect English if her Master desires tantric sex or Thai massage today? yeah... One of those tales to tell to the guys . Truth is that if you can’t offer anything better than a GC you won’t get anything better than a FSU village woman who desperately wants to get a GC.

What can I offer better than a GC?

A GC is usually a "hot" chick magnet!!!

You know....when I was in the military, stationed in Europe, I heard the same thing said about military dependant ID cards.....that this was what attracted the "locals". However, I remember quite a few guys that left there with not so much as a date with one of these women, much less a wife.

OMG you men make me sick.... i may be wrong but the idea of a K1 isnt to wait n see if its going to work!! people who are waiting paitently for their K1 because like me didnt want to spend their first married year of their live living apart, not to see if they if maybe it was going to work out or not ( you should already know that - sure not every marriage is 100%) . we made sure that we wanted to be together before we even thought about applying for a K1. i bloody well hope you paid for her expenses in her home town ( ie medical and visa application) coz id would be mad if i paid all that money just to wait n see if it worked out. i guess you've been lucky so far coz it has worked out. and she is none the wiser, but still shame on you!!! and i dont give a ####### that you made your statement 2.5 weeks ago. its still not right!.....shame on you!!

I'm 99% sure that somewhere in the immigration law it's written that the 90 days was given EXACTLY so that the man could make sure the woman met his needs. It does me absolutely no good to bring a woman over here who can't cook, or who doesn't know what kind of beer she needs to run out and buy when I'm thirsty. I work hard at McDonalds all day, so I need a woman who doesn't mind massaging my weary feet and washing the grease out of my uniforms. And hey, I'm a classy guy. It's not like I'm going to have my extra women right in front of her. But if she does find out about them, I want a well-behaved woman who will understand that sometimes a guy needs a little variety. I don't want her getting all upset just because daddy feels like a little different kinda sugar ever now and then. So 90 days is about perfect to make sure she's a real lady, and not just some whiny crybaby who can't bring herself to cleaning dog ####### off the carpet just because my dog has loose bowels. Oh, and she has to look like a Victoria's Secret model while doing it too. Is this really too much to ask?

Do they still have all those wild....and a bit scary....clubs off of Tanjong Pagar?

OMG you men make me sick.... i may be wrong but the idea of a K1 isnt to wait n see if its going to work!! people who are waiting paitently for their K1 because like me didnt want to spend their first married year of their live living apart, not to see if they if maybe it was going to work out or not ( you should already know that - sure not every marriage is 100%) . we made sure that we wanted to be together before we even thought about applying for a K1. i bloody well hope you paid for her expenses in her home town ( ie medical and visa application) coz id would be mad if i paid all that money just to wait n see if it worked out. i guess you've been lucky so far coz it has worked out. and she is none the wiser, but still shame on you!!! and i dont give a ####### that you made your statement 2.5 weeks ago. its still not right!.....shame on you!!

I'm 99% sure that somewhere in the immigration law it's written that the 90 days was given EXACTLY so that the man could make sure the woman met his needs. It does me absolutely no good to bring a woman over here who can't cook, or who doesn't know what kind of beer she needs to run out and buy when I'm thirsty. I work hard at McDonalds all day, so I need a woman who doesn't mind massaging my weary feet and washing the grease out of my uniforms. And hey, I'm a classy guy. It's not like I'm going to have my extra women right in front of her. But if she does find out about them, I want a well-behaved woman who will understand that sometimes a guy needs a little variety. I don't want her getting all upset just because daddy feels like a little different kinda sugar ever now and then. So 90 days is about perfect to make sure she's a real lady, and not just some whiny crybaby who can't bring herself to cleaning dog ####### off the carpet just because my dog has loose bowels. Oh, and she has to look like a Victoria's Secret model while doing it too. Is this really too much to ask?

Bissel makes a really cool carpet shampooer....upright model, with two easy-change water reservoirs. And you might get the dog checked for worms. Is he dragging his butt on the carpet? You know.....when they do that, it's not just for a party gag.

Sorry....couldn't resist.

what's the cyclic rate of fire for an AK-47?

As fast as you can pull the trigger with major pauses when you swap out mags.

Now with my M1 Garand, there's a pause and a ping after every eigth round.

That "ping" is really a pretty cool sound, isn't it?

I don't have an M1, but I have 3 Enfields.......love those old WW guns.

OMG you men make me sick.... i may be wrong but the idea of a K1 isnt to wait n see if its going to work!! people who are waiting paitently for their K1 because like me didnt want to spend their first married year of their live living apart, not to see if they if maybe it was going to work out or not ( you should already know that - sure not every marriage is 100%) . we made sure that we wanted to be together before we even thought about applying for a K1. i bloody well hope you paid for her expenses in her home town ( ie medical and visa application) coz id would be mad if i paid all that money just to wait n see if it worked out. i guess you've been lucky so far coz it has worked out. and she is none the wiser, but still shame on you!!! and i dont give a ####### that you made your statement 2.5 weeks ago. its still not right!.....shame on you!!

Grinning about "bloody well hope".

But Tommys_girl, you are right in that it would be pretty risky (for both parties) to spend all of that time, money and effort only to see if things work out. I mean....I realize that everything in life is a risk....or a gamble.....no matter if it's driving down the highway, getting married, or even waking up and getting out of bed in the morning. You never know exactly how it will end. I will allow that, and agree that life is literally a crapshoot.

However, on the matter of infedelity prior to marriage, I still find it strange to have a "second" woman on the side, if you have a woman that you have pledged your love, faith and trust to.....regardless if she is in the middle of Moscow, Russia, or just across the street. If there is some casual relationship whereby neither party has committed to anything official and is still playing the field, comparing options A, B and C......then yes, I can understand that. However, I still question what long term damage might occur in a relationship if one party is thinking that she is the only One, and the other side also thinks that she is the only One as well, but he also has a number Two, number Three and so on.

I also wonder if a relationship developing under these conditions....even if leading right up to marriage...will allow for both couples to truly bond and feel true faith and trust in each other that age, time, other people, financial stresses, life stresses, kids, work, illness, etc will test.....if those bonds are not strong enough, then there is a great possibility that a man or woman would revert to past behavior prior to the "ring" commitment, which could lead to an affair or simply a fracturing of the marriage.

As for the ring factor. A ring is a piece of metal. It is a symbol of something yes, and an engagement or wedding ring does have meaning, and should. But only to the one who wears it, and the one who gave it. It's not merely a toggle switch whereby when you place it on your finger, a referee steps out and blows a whistle declaring the game over, and you are never tempted, or others tempted by you, ever again. Rings have meaning only so long as the people that wear them feel that meaning. Otherwise, pawn shops wouldn't have such a wide selection of used ones.

If there is not already a powerful, dedicated and faithful love present when that ring is put on and worn, then there can, and most probably will, be a day when it is slipped back off that finger and laid down out of frustration, failure or temptation.

'Nuff said.

Peace out.

Mark

Btw, Kailey.......is that a Colt AR-15 you are holding? Your guy must be pretty lucky to have a woman that thinks and feels like you do, and who can also shoot. - M

I don't understand. I thought the whole reason FOR the waiting period was to give me time to get these other girls out of my system. I mean, what she doesn't know won't hurt her...right?

I'm new (and not necessarily improved) at this VJ blog, but have been reading a bit here and there, as I wait for my own fiance' to arrive. I didn't pay much attention until she sent me a link about some guys talking about various culture diversity issues arising from their future/current brides.......I hate to admit that I laughed a bit about the "standing on the toilet" line of conversation, and of course there was the leftovers talk.

I am happy to say that my own fiance' doesn't perch up on one, but she might after reading that particular thread just as a joke to see if she could surprise me.

My concern is in regard to the thought of having a "second" during the waiting period. I am not casting stones, but if I were the guy in this relationship, I would worry about my own ability to commit, as well as a bit of concern that if it were easy to simply "keep busy" with another woman, would the woman that was my fiance' really be The One? There has to be a myriad of feelings involved in maintaining a solid committed relationship, meanwhile carrying on one Stateside with a "temp". My worry is that this might open the door later for an affair by either party.

Her logic: "He did it while we were waiting, why shouldn't I?"

His logic: "I did it once before, and the Earth didn't explode....and she is still here....why shouldn't I?"

I don't believe that a man and woman should be literally trapped in a relationship, pledging upon death by sword, never to have an affair or be even remotely unfaithful.....and then spend every moment watching out for the other to slip up. Love shouldn't work that way. However, I think that a man and woman should want to be together, want to be monogamous, and only feel truly attracted to each other......physically, emotionally and mentally, without even considering an affair with another. If they are not.....then they are probably good candidates for playing the boyfriend/girlfriend dating game, but not ready for something that involves a lifetime.

To me having a "backup" is dangerous.....it clouds the commitment......clouds the trust......and definitely clouds the love. And really.....I mean come on.....you literally research the one you want to be with, travel thousands of miles to be with her, meet her family, see her life.....see her world......spend hours upon hours talking, e-mailing, texting, chatting.....hell....even faxing....(we did that a couple of times too)......and you might have even brought her to see you in the good old U.S. as well. This woman is obviously in love, obviously wants a life with you, and you alone......willing to leave all that she knows to be your wife......doesn't she deserve to have a faithful man that not only tells her he loves her, but also shows her every day and waits for her with his heart and body?

Just a thought.....not shooting at anybody.

Peace out.

Mark

And btw.....I've been waiting on her my whole life (just didn't know where she was).....met her the first time in February, 2008......met her again in April, 2008....and have talked to her....and only her ever since we became "us"......we've visited each other 3 times while we wait, and she is the only woman I want, need or desire.