misswhy
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Posts posted by misswhy
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Just wanted to express my thanks to everyone here who provided all the advice & experience that helped us make it through this process on our own. It was really painful & difficult at times, and a real test of our patience, but we hung in there and kept our determination to survive it all.
My husband's interview was in Ankara, Turkey in late November, and after a relatively short interview, he was put on AP. We decided to stay in Turkey until that was finished - turned out to be another two months for that, and finally after all was done, his visa was ready at the end of January. We arrived in New York a few weeks ago and are trying to get settled in now. So much to do, but I'm grateful that the biggest problem has been solved - HE IS HERE!
All of the guidance here has made it possible for us to do everything on our own without the need to hire an attorney or destroy our hope.. for anyone who is new to this process who may be reading - YOU CAN DO THIS! Trust in the competence of all the contributors here and you will have the support & confidence you need to do things the right way.
Best wishes to all of you!
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This is an interesting topic because when Ben went for his interview, he noticed when he walked up to the window and noticed his paperwork in front of the CO, that it already had an "approval" stamp on it. I asked him if it was our I-129F petition because I was perplexed as to how it could have already been approved before his interview. He said no, it was the documents we just filled out and handed in the day before the interview. Wow....I guess it is possible. I just never mentioned it before as I had forgotten about it shortly after because we were so thrilled since that part of our process was over, but I saw this post and thought to share.
wow - so you are now the 3rd person i saw that mentioned this happening to them, although the first i've seen on this site. i'm more convinced that this can and does happen - maybe more than we even know.
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I know for sure that it can happen with military folks due to their jobs and its inherent that they are DOD personnel.
that's something i didn't even think of, princess.. that's a good point. thanks
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This is a general question in no way even considering my particular situation, or where we're from. Anyone who would count on an approval before it is actually in hand would have to be a complete imbecile...
lol.. guess no one can say for sure so far if they felt that this happened to them.
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This is a general question in no way even considering my particular situation, or where we're from. Anyone who would count on an approval before it is actually in hand would have to be a complete imbecile...
This is a general question in no way even considering my particular situation, or where we're from. Anyone who would count on an approval before it is actually in hand would have to be a complete imbecile...
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I read comments on two other sites recently that a few people had gone in to their interviews, only to find that their visas were already approved before they even had the interview. Can this be possible, I wonder? And I am curious to know just how they learned this. Would like to know if anyone else here is of the opinion that some visas are already approved, unless the beneficiary gives the CO some reason to change it at the interview? This has really got me thinking today.
Anyone here have this experience?
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Just got our e-mail notice of NOA2 today.. so the response from them came in exactly around the time I thought it should have. Now trying to understand the steps from here.. wonder if anyone else has any idea how long of a wait we can expect going forward.
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Any march 2011 filers of I-130 please update your statuses here
we submitted our I-130 that was received by uscis on march 28, 2011. so far, nothing from them about NOA2. i want to call them to ask if someone can give me some idea. wonder if anyone here thinks it's too soon to call them? it's been like 3 months now.
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You think wrong. The USA will recognize marriages performed in any country as long as THAT country recognizes the marriage as legal. So, a US Citizen and an Iranian Citizen (male and female, not plural marriage) legally and lawfully married in ANY country are "married" as far as the USA is concerned, REGARDLESS of whether ANYTHING is registered with ANY Iranian authorities ANYWHERE.
Thanks, pushbrk, that is exactly what I expected. Even when asking others about this, everyone has basically said, "what does any of this have to do with Iran?" We could not find one reason that the US government would care whether or not our marriage was recognized there.
The only answer we found was that I would have to register the marriage with the Iranian government if I wished to travel there under their rules. So for now, we are skipping that step as I have no immediate plans to visit.
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OP ,first of all,was iranian embassy in the country you got married at informed?second of all are you iranian?whats your religion?
i ask because if its not in the embassy data base that you have been married ( iranian embassy ) your marriage is not recognized in iran,and therefor not in the states.youll need iranian evidence ( sighe nameh or whatever they use these days ) to prove that you are legally ( by the beneficiary's country's rules ) married.
if youre not iranian,youll be facing the second problem of different religions,iranian embassy doesnt recognize marriages between different faiths.third of all,whats more important than the marriage,is the amount of time you spend together and the amount of evidence.how big is the age gap?
We were married in Istanbul, and I followed the instructions of the US Embassy for what I would need to do for the marriage to be legal here. My marriage certificate/license has been accepted as legal everywhere..just about finished doing all the name changes. We did not register the marriage at the Iranian embassy yet - but I have the forms..including the Muslim declaration, no big deal I think it's like a one page document.
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LOL I think I have you all beat, I married my ex a few hours after I met him for the first time in person. We met online, I went to Japan and married the same day I arrived. Wedding arrangements were made prior to my arrival. My current husband, however, I have been dating since last february and we married in August. I did not meet him online, I met him in Pakistan. We started dating, I returned to the US and went back to Pakistan 10 days later because I just couldn't live without him. We dated six months, then we got married, and I left Pakistan 10 days after we got married. I did not file right away, I filed 6 months after I returned home to establish myself.
omg! i guess u did not file for the first one? i would imagine it might have gotten the antennas way up with the uscis if you had sponsored one and then another guy from a different country. wonder if you have run into any difficulties dealing with pakistan so far?
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It sometimes is a red flag but it's just one data point among many. You also spent a month together as a part of that visit. FYI, my wife and I married on the third day of our first visit because we couldn't get the paperwork completed on the second day. I visited again a few months later. Concentrate on interview preparation and evidence of a bona fide relationship. Another visit or two is always a good idea. The strongest evidence of a bona fide relationship is the time you spend together in person.
Wow - you guys really beat us to it! But I guess if you are sure about what you want, there is no reason to wait and incur more delay and expense. You have to do what's right for you.
We don't think much of it, but we do have a bit of an age difference that might be viewed as a factor..he's the younger one, i'm the late-bloomer. I've never experienced half the things my friends in my age group have, so I relate to none of it. In many ways, both of us are just starting out.. all of this stuff is new for both of us.
You're right - more visits are better. And believe me, I wasn't even home from the airport after the first trip when I was thinking about the next! Can't wait to get back there and harass the poor guy some more...
By the way, I've read some of your other posts and always found them to be some of the most insightful & intelligent answers on this board. Thanks for your advice - it is appreciated! -
Hi everyone.. been reading a lot of the posts here but haven't really found too much info that might apply to us. Was hoping that some of the more seasoned VJ'ers here would analyze our situation and give opinions.
Here's the deal - me and my now husband met online in 2008 and have had uninterrupted communication in the form of video, e-mail, snail mail, chat and phone since then.
The topic of marriage had come up maybe a year into the relationship, because that was basically the goal for both of us. We really got to know each other completely before arranging our first trip in person, just to be sure that we would both be as compatible as we've been all along. To me, the trip just felt like a confirmation to what I already felt strongly about... and I was right!
We went on our trip and all was great - even better than expected. We spent a month together overseas and decided to get married while we were there. We could not see any reason to wait, so we didn't.. and went ahead with a civil ceremony.
We are not in a position to have a big wedding party for a few reasons. Financial, logistical, personal.. honestly, we'd rather spend our money on some more great trips together, not a big, expensive party.
We just filed our I-130. We will have another trip together this summer, but obviously we have to work things around our finances and what our employers will allow.
Does anyone think that this step to get married on our first trip would appear to be a red flag/problem?
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A large age difference is highly subjective. Again, sometimes things might not always be the way they appear.
You say 15-20 years is large. I had always thought that over 28 years (age differential) is starting to look bad.
In cases like Woody Allen and the late Tony Randall (he was 50 years old when his future wife was born) admittedly, the age differences look quite vast.
But as anyone who has ever been to their 25 Year Class Reunion, there are classmates that look 15-20 years older (or younger) and THEY ARE THE EXACT SAME AGE as we are.
I know guys who got bald and grey in their 30s and I know others in their 50s who could pass for 39. Arguably, lifestyle, diet and genetics are offsetting elements that sometimes warrant factoring in to the age differential equation.
So, on this point, I must ask: Is the ACTUAL AGE (what is on the birth certificate) more important to Consular Officers? Or, THE WAY THAT A COUPLE APPEARS TOGETHER?
In my opinion, these are apples and oranges.
For many years, I always thought that 12-20 years (younger) was ideal for me. But then, at a pub, a guy told me his formula which is kind of funny.
HALF A MAN'S AGE PLUS 7.
Think about it.
For a 22 year old guy, half his age is 11, plus 7 = 18!
For a 50 year old guy, half his age is 25, plus 7 = 32!
Of course, I say this in partial jest with borderline humor and tongue-in-cheek subtext.
I am just pointing out that like in anything else, PERSPECTIVE is paramount in looking at other's ages.
At age 49, I met some gorgeous and genteel 22 year old ladies, while I do not care what "others think," in MY HEART AND SOUL, even though I am young in spirit (dance every song and still have not had a grey hair) something wasn't quite 111% right... (deep in my organic core) at least for the long haul (plan on dying at 92 in 2050... whatever the mind harbors, the body manifests) but my wife and I have a mere 15 year age difference (small and insignificant by my accounts) but in your opinion (of course no one is right or wrong as love and romance obviously varies for everyone on here, hence is subjective by nature) we have a large age difference, but no one really has opined this as the fact that we are true soul mates is evident even by most of the lugubrious, glass-half-empty types.
Hate to say it, but it seems that the scales of equality are never balanced when the situation is reversed, when the guy is younger than the woman, even if she looks close in age to him. If a 70 year old guy, who looks very obviously 70, marries a woman much younger than he is, he is usually presumed to be successful and wealthy.. let a woman try it and there is almost always a rush to judgment of something negative.
In our case, we are 13-14 years apart, me being the older one.. and all I've heard from people is how cute we look together. I understand completely when you mention people from high school reunions - some look not much different than they did in high school, some look like they could be my mom, and some actually look better now... so I guess it all depends.
I will say I have heard of some stories where the couple was immediately judged because the wife was not only older than the husband, but she really looked the part - so of course from a physical perspective, anyone is going to ask what he sees in her and presume that it's not a real marriage. So I don't believe it's just a numerical value that is looked at, I think that appearances have a lot to do with it too. Of course I would presume most people to think twice if the couple is overly opposite in appearance.
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7-14 days it should take to get the NOA1 Notification.. Mine took 10 days but I have seen others much shorter time..I sent express mail and I tracked it and they received in 1 day......
by the way... I wonder if they cashed the check fast or it took some time? I just asked my bank today and they said that the check had not been cashed.. don't know how long they will hold on to it before they deposit.
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Wow - so I am not alone in my situation. I checked out the timelines for quite a few here and did not see any real pattern, but I noticed that some who filed this month did get their notifications within just a few days. Wish we could know the reason for that.
At least I feel better knowing that not everyone gets the receipt notice right away so that is good news!
I know that I often see many people think of this as such a long and rough road, but at least in our case it feels like the time is moving pretty quick with so much to do!
Thanks, everyone!!
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Does anyone care to share the number of days before they got confirmation that their I-130 was received? I have been reading so much conflicting information, I don't really know what to expect. I'm wondering if there was an average amount of time we can expect to wait.. I've been seeing some who appear to have gotten their receipt # within days, some within weeks and a few much longer than that.
I know that they don't want to hear from anyone inquiring about the status of the receipt until 30 days has passed, but are there any factors that would affect the amount of time it takes just to get a receipt notification??
Thanks, all!
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Ok, Im going to go against the flow here. I think women or men who marry more than say 10 years younger than themselves are looking for trouble in the future. maybe the near future even, maybe a bit later. Especially if married within 1 or 2 years of meeting when you really dont know the person youre marrying as well as you need to!.
So in the honeymoon period of the first year its all about being in love and finding that special person, your soulmate who is all you want, isnt it. Age dosnt matter, romance is blooming and you just want to be together. We all know the divorce rate is high for couples close in age in america, how much more difficult for a couple where 2 or 5 or 10 years down the line the 15 or 20 or more year age difference is very apparent, ie you look old!! and the younger spouse is now integrated into the american( or other) culture and getting attention from men or women younger than themselves......divorce is easy in america isnt it...ok so love is not about the wrinkles and saggy areas that appear , I know that, but lets face it, if youre 20 years older than your spouse the risk is high that they will eventually be attracted to someone younger than them ie someone 25 or 30 years younger than you!!
I think its smart to take a longer term view before starting a relationship with a much younger person. i wouldnt do it for anything. My lady is 3 years younger than me and that suits me fine because, besides that fact we love each other and have been together for nearly 4 years I know she has that experience of life under her belt. People change with age, their desires and future priorities change. why take the risk that someone so much younger will feel like you do in 5 or 10 years.....
This is just my opinion. i know there are long term true love stories of marriages with large age differences....i just dont think theres very many....
I think we also have to evaluate the character of the person we choose to partner with as well. If this person is quick to exit because they are receiving attention from younger people - do we really want them anyway? I'd pack his bags for him, and tell the dude to kick rocks. I think it's unrealistic for the words "forever" and "always" to apply to any human relationship in the times we live in anyway - regardless of the ages of the parties involved.
One of my problems is that I've always attracted much younger guys due to my baby face, but of course I won't have it forever. However, I'm also interested in preserving it for as long as possible, and a little prevention and a good doc go a long way. Also, I have almost zero in common with guys my own age because 95% of them have already been married, have kids, exes, the usual baggage. I've had none of it, so I can't even relate. In some ways, I am just starting out like this younger guy since I was a late bloomer for just about everything. He hasn't experienced any of it either. So this idea of settling down is new for both of us.
But, back on topic.. I do think that there are a lot of variables that come into play here when it comes to relationships from mixed cultures or where there's an age gap. I don't think an age difference of 10-15 years is a huge challenge if the both participants are mentally compatible. But, as with any relationship or new endeavor, more often than not you're going to get what you put into it, and there will always be chance of failure. I'm at the point in my life where I'm feeling more and more like the worst risk I can take is none at all. Life is short and the pursuit of happiness should be explored - risk or no risk.
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I am only 4 years older than my fiance but sometimes I feel like I am 30 years younger than him!! I feel like many men from over seas and especially the middle east have to grow up and take on much more responsibility at a younger age than their american counterparts. So when they meet a women who is 20 years older they can easily relate to them because even though they are only 25 they have been treated like a grown man for 10-15 years already so mentally they're like 35-40...so that 40-45 year old they are dating or married to does not seem old to them. Then people say well the women is past child bearing years and these men will want children...and my response is my mom didnt have me till 30 and my sister till 34 and when she was 45 the doctors told her she was still plenty healthy enough to have another child (she didnt have anymore)....but you read all the time about the 55 or 65 year old lady that had a healthy baby...while not the norm (yet) people are having children older and if a 25 year old man and a 45 year old women want to have a child it can be done!!!!! So I say good job and congrats to all those who found the loves of their lives even if there is a 25 year age gap..for now its just one more thing that makes their relationships unique and special!!!!
omg - i was just thinking that today. i think you have it exactly right.. at least that's the same feeling i have from my own experience. hope it's going well for you guys!
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I am here to learn how the whole K-1 process gets done.. for if and when I get there.. just want to know what to expect. So far, what information I've seen from the experiences of others has been informative.
However, I've heard of people hiring attorneys or a "visa service".. although I'm not quite sure what either of these are supposed to provide that the person of average intelligence can't do on their own.
I wondered if anyone has had good results with these, of if there is any true benefit to using them at all?
I used one called 'Immigration Docs' and from our experience, it was a total waste of money because they weren't any help at all except for helping with paperwork which we could have done on our own. You find more authentic info here at VJ than we got from them and the best part is the advice is free that come from those who've been through this.
I wouldn't hire an attorney either unless they have direct experience with the Embassy/Country you're going through and you need the legal help. It won't help you in getting the visa by just hiring an attorney for the sake of having an attorney.
Your opinion seems to be right in line with many of the others I've heard from - it seems that the best guidance available for this process can be found here at no cost. I'm sure others who have been basically ripped off for useless assistance would have really loved to have known about this site beforehand. I always like to hear real stories from real people when it comes to exploring anything that's new for me, and I've been really grateful of how caring and helpful people on this site have been! Thanks for sharing your wisdom!
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Get married in Iran?
I think we have to find out if we want to spend our lives together first.. He just went in to start his military obligation, but they gave him less time. I think while he is there, he cannot leave the country, and I doubt I can get a visa to travel to Iran. I think the closest I can get to him will be Kish island, and I can probably pull that together by late winter or maybe early Spring when he gets time off for Norooz... I am scared to death... 
Never in my life did I think i would find myself in this situation! 
14 months ahead is a decent time to start - with the initial petition taking about 5 or 6 months, approval notice valid for 4 months, and once issued the visa itself valid for 6 months. Perhaps (if things get processed way too fast) you may need to ask for an extension during the embassy interview period, but this isn't supposed to be troublesome.
You might ask yourself seriously about whether you want to spend the rest of your lives together first though (or was that a joke?) because one of the requirements of applying for K-1 is declaring yourself engaged and intent on marriage very soon after your fiance's arrival.
Of course. I found this site to explore the options and requirements if we do agree to pursue a marriage, but we're not there yet. Since I've been here, I've found a lot of good information and helpful advice from others who have gone through the process. The situation on my end will come into focus with time, but I'm certainly thankful to hear from all those that have done it so I can have a sense of what may be ahead! Thanks so much for your input!
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He still has 14 months left of service? Well then why not get married within that 14 months sometime? It'll make things faster, only because once you apply for him, you could apply a CR1 visa, and he would get his greencard right away as opposed to having to get married in the US and applying for adjustment of status. If it's possible to do that, I would suggest it... the overall process takes the same amount of time as a K1 visa (roughly) and is so much more convenient in the long haul. Hopefully they'll take some months off his remaining service time. Another thing would be to gather all the info you need for each step of the way (check guides) except for those items that are date specific, so that you won't have much to gather when the time comes to send everything at each step. Good luck though and let us know if theres anything else we can help with!
Get married in Iran?
I think we have to find out if we want to spend our lives together first.. He just went in to start his military obligation, but they gave him less time. I think while he is there, he cannot leave the country, and I doubt I can get a visa to travel to Iran. I think the closest I can get to him will be Kish island, and I can probably pull that together by late winter or maybe early Spring when he gets time off for Norooz... I am scared to death... Never in my life did I think i would find myself in this situation! -
Hello,
I've been lurking around this site for about a monh now and I'm really impressed with the amount of information here, and with the support everyone shows for one another. I must say I'm not an actual filer; I'm a mom of a filer. My 26 year old son has fallen in love with a wonder Iranian girl. The entire family (his and hers) are cheering them both on, and this is my way of learning and helping the beautiful young couple with this process.
The attorney sent the package in on August 27th, and Fedex claimed delivery on the 28th. Unfortunately, as of now the check has not been cashed. So we are all waiting to start waiting.
I assume that is them in the picture.. did your son travel there to meet with her?
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We used a consultant service because of the unfamiliarity of the USA process in China for my fiancee, it worked fine and costed little. But this was a specialty service (www.visaschina.com) for Chinese marrying foreigners and we asked everyone about this service and got glowing reviews. Check around if you have the same problem as we did. We got no RFEs and it looks like our visa interview will happen within 6 months of filing. Lawyers tend to be way too expensive.
thanks for sharing that - it's good to know there is other help available if we get stuck with this and have problems. i will keep all of that in mind when/if i get there!
NVC Case # Assigned but have Questions PLEASE Help
in National Visa Center (Dept of State)
Posted
Hi Mnivet,
I am a little surprised that you felt that you needed to hire an attorney to help you through this process, unless your case is complicated. We did ours on our own with all the help on this forum - and I have to say that while there was a lot of information to submit and paperwork to collect, the directions on the forms were pretty self-explanatory. I'm sure we saved some money doing this ourselves too.
Please keep us all informed about how it's going!