jellyfish

We made a similar error, and my daughter was processed as an expedited DCF. Her total process time from filing to medical was 2 months.

You can pull it together if you work hard and get it right.

I have found through our experience that a lot of the stress for children comes from one-step-removed family and friends. (I say it like that as the family closest to my daughters were the most supportive, uncles and those one step away were the worst.... ). They share their grief and loss in a way that is not appropriate and make the child feel guilty about being happy around them. The child so wants everyone to be happy. Family are the ones that press for dates, press for info on schooling etc etc. As parents, and brothers and sisters, we are close enough to the process to know it is not definable at all. So they are more relaxed. Best to keep the info and updates close to home, and not give those folk more fuel for their fire.

Hi,

Just wanted to share that last time I came over to visit I was fed up with not being able to get around easily. (CA Bay area). It will be a while till I get my drivers licence, and now we are here properly there is school to sort out etc. Anyways, I bought a couple of folding bike yesterday. Older daughter had one already. They are fantastic fun. East to get to the BART and they go on the bus etc. 11 year old can fold it easy too. We have been out and about exploring the area and the weather is great for cycling just now.

So my top tip for adapting is buy a bike ! Makes all the difference when you can put the washing on and head off to have some fun outdoors. Exercise keeps you cheery too.

This may be unpopular, but the "hassles" of the process re children and immigration process are small compared to the effort you need to make to settle them in a new country. If parents are divorced the support of both parents in the move is a big plus. Even if it is a letting go by one parent. My first marriage ended in divorce and we ended up at opposite ends of the UK. An awful lot of putting small children on planes as unaccompanied minors, and a lot of working together to help the children keep in contact with both parents. I have our 17 year old here in the US now, and her Dad will come over to visit us in the New Year. Daughter makes her own plans to travel back to see him in London and meet up with family.

The 11 year old will miss her friends, and have to settle into a new school system. She has been through a medical in London with a list of vaccinations and shortly after another trip down to stay in The Marble Arch Inn to do the interview. She is leaving a lot of family behind.

To my mind the distance to the interview etc, 8 hour train ride, is the smallest part of my concerns. (older daughter did hers seperately, with her Dad actually taking her to the interview.) I like to think I have consulted with my girls and they have had a large say in the arrangements. Attending interviews is part of the process and keeps them involved. They do not "belong" to me in some way that I can bundle them up. I have done my best and really worked at giving them their own life choices. They are both settling really well now. This is the hard part, not the interviews.

I know that ex partners can be total pains, but if they are raising objections be prepared to listen to them. Just possible they have a point.

I cannot imagine the havoc an unwilling and homesick child could cause. Guilt upon guilt. Children need solid bases so some half road house of arrangements is unsettling. I cannot see why the US should pay to educate my child when I am vague about the future for this child. Will the investment bring a return for the US ? (in probability).

Basicly I am saying if you cannot work together with the child, and their other parent to get a plan together things will only get trickier. It is healthier long term to slow down a little and give every chance to get things together better as it will make things better long term, even if only because you can tell the kids you tried everything with other parent.

Be hot or cold, not luke warm if you follow, and don't complain about cost in front of them, because they did not choose to start this process. They have to live with it though. It might come back to bite you.........

Frankly, they are worth all the effort and I am so happy mine are with me, and happy.

Hi,

I contacted the police in Singapore. I was really unkeen to get my ex husband to provide records of his employment there. Wanted another way. They said the passport info was enough. So I copied the biographic info, and the stamps on relevant pages. They just wanted evidence I was there. This was an expired passport.

Sent off the copies, plus money and got the poilce certificate back. That went to the embassy.

I did have all my expired passports with me at the interview as evidence of travel, but they were not asked for.

For a Singapore police certificate I supplied copies of an old passport. Showing I had entered legally, and stayed for a legal amount of time. (In this case 18 months.) There was no problem at all. I was told that any evidence to show I was in the country legally from X-Y would do.

Mine took 3 weeks from them receiving it at London Embassy

Hi, yes they came when they said they would. 21st Oct. Updated my timeline :-) It was miserable waiting. Folk ask so many questions.... endless "when are you going ?" . Once they are here it does not matter though. I wanted to go spend a few days with folk before setting off, but that did not get to happen. It is okay though. I am not in an empty house, although my belongings were shipped ages ago. House is being kept on with family still living here. We leave Tuesday :-)) Very very happy.

Hi,

check out that date with a call. In the UK that date means October 8th, so you can panic less. It is from the London embassy so I am pretty sure that is right, but check.

It is scarey just before the interview. You can be terrified of doing something wrong. It is a big thing. I got so scared before mine. My husband responded by coming over to support me to show that he would be there whatever happened. I think maybe you need to reassure your other half, and say that at least if she goes for the interview she will have true freedom of choice, without fear. Otherwise she will never know. Families can be harsh and cruel prior to interview. Much pressure. In a sense she has to do the interview for herself, so she knows she has made the decision herself.

On the other side of the interview, (and prior to it once I had said how scared I was to my husband) things feel fine. Saying goodbye to family, and there is nothing left to scare me any more.

If your other half was not in some way wary of the move she would be foolish. Don't give up on her just yet.

I was asked if my husband had married his first wife as part of his immigration. (He left the UK after his PhD. Various visas. Did not get married till 8 years later, and met her 3 years before they got married. Citizen year 2000.) Met at church and married on September 11th. (bad sign.)

Anyways there was a fare bit of conversation about this. I wasn't expecting this, but I knew all about this thankfully.

Never seen that one posted anywhere else. That was London CR1.

Our I-864 for me was later, after initial approval, when I did my 230 thing. For step daughter it was handed in at interview. DCF due to our stupidity.

Hi I have done this with my US citizen husband. His step daughter got her visa with me !

We did a bad thing in not doing a seperate I-130 for her, so make sure you do that. I also know that she was treated as a seperate case, with a seperate number from me. The embassy did bend over to tie things together despite our mistake.

If you have any questions re the financial papers I can ask my husband.

Daughter 11 did have an interview, and was asked only a couple of questions. What does your step dad do for his job? (She said engineering scientist working on a cure for breast cancer. I had said Engineering Manager. I like her version. She looked proud :-) Also asked if she had been to California before and if she liked it. (She has been about 8 times!)

It went fine, and she is proud of her visa. Ripping into the packet when it came. Had to grab the brown envelopes from her "just in time".

We went through London.

It is the invoice number on the letter. Top left below invoice date. In my case 10 numbers. Nothing will show up until the visa is in the hands of the courier. Usually day before delivery.

I know of folk who work in London then commute back to France on the weekend....

On adoption, my husband is adopting my daughter. Her father is dead. We just want the optimal most emotionally secure environment for her. She has to feel we are both there for her. Leaving so much family behind. It will not/would not affect any immigration stuff till it had been passed for two year.s This isn't our motivation in doing it though, it is a personal thing between him and her. Something that has grown. We want to file for that when we are all living in the same place. I also cannot bear the idea of her reaching to him for help and any legal niceties stopping him holding her hand in hospital or something. I have seen that nightmare.

Does not affect her medical insurance through him, covered just the same. Will not affect immigration. It means all the world to us though.

I think you are in a hard place right now. Can't help feeling you are being torn.

Life is just not fair sometimes, and I have given up expecting that. I live miracle to miracle.

We forgot to do a seperate I 130 for my daughter, petitioner's stepdaughter. This can knock you back months. We put in a request to expedite, a DCF filing based on our stupidity, and that my daughter would be left without a mother once my petition was approved. |(Plus some medical stuff) We used a lawyer to do this. It worked.

You will know how many months you are behind. This is a big big deal and you need to get your finger out and solve it. The London embassy were really stars in helping us solve this.

Hiya,

when you go to the interview, and they approve you, you hand a form to the courier desk. The courier desk takes your details, circles your number to tap into the website, and the website is on there too. It does not show up on the website until it has left the embassy. In my case yesterday.

Today I got my email response from the consulate (called them first for PIN number to put in email), saw it on the tracking webiste as to be delivered tomorrow. I also got an text message to my mobile saying they would be delivered tomorrow.

From my experience I would reckon approval for two passports takes twice as long.

If you worry, call the embassy after 6 working days. They are responsive.

I would ask her school. They might know of a place with similar ideas, or point oyu in the right direction. Any move you make will need the school to know, and a supported move with them on your side could only be a plus.

I can see probs perhaps with having health insurance for her, and enough finds available on hand to cover it all. So please keep those things in mind.

Hi, I took my daughter (11) she was fine. Toilets clearly marked, and they had a place you could buy drinks and snacks. She chatted some. Read and had a word search. There were other younger kids there. My daughter played around with them too. My daughter was expected at the embassy, and I did have to have her passport as ID. We were there about 4 hrs.

DO NOT enroll your child in school if they are not legally entitled to be there. You will probably get away with enrolling him, but this will come back to haunt you later in the process. I brought my daughter age 11 into the US at the start of US school session and was hauled into secondary security. I was told you cannot have your child in either public OR private school in the US if they don't have a proper visa. (I think she would have needed an F1 visa which can be used for up to a year in a school.) As it was I know my daughter will end up effectively repeating a year in school, and just wanted some time in the US.(did not mind her skipping school). We spent a bit of time learning Spanish and getting the apartment sorted for us moving there. My older daughter was settling into college then which added to the whole school confusion. I was only there for 3 weeks.

Anyways the IO was very clear the only legal way to school her was home schooling, and "if I was caught doing anything else it would be very bad for me". I can see how folk might get messed up here, but we really just wanted a holiday...... nothing else. He was also clear that she would be enrolled if I presented her at school.

You need a plan for your child that can be extended if need be. So I would suggest a chat with a lawyer to work out what you are/are not entitled to do. Having your son forever unable to visit you in the US is a bad thing. Your status being messed up is also bad. F1 visas can be got pretty fast. I did one for my older girl in 3 weeks start to finish.

Keep it legal.Just not worth it.

I would go for a letter from her parents saying how good a daughter she was. How helpful to their family as a whole, how they were happy to support her financially and her input to the family will be missed. A church letter also sounds great. Simply to say that she spent much of her time there and was a valued member of their church, and her contribution will be missed. They hope she will settle well in her new church home.

Just focus on how she spent her time constructively, how her parents financially supported her. Don't focus on the "volunteer" angle, focus on the valued member of the community angle. Basicly a reference in the form of letters.

Wise to cover your back, you just never know if you get a CO who will pick on that aspect. If nothing else it makes her sound more "mature" as well.

Finally I have notice that the passports are to be delivered tomorrow. I don't know if you are supposed to assume two take twice as long.

So, tomorrow they will be here. Just delighted they are out of the embassy.

It is worth noting that I called the expensive line, and emailed the consulate. I got the email around the same time it went up online as being passed to the courier.

Interview was 5th Oct.

Just happy. I have a present for my daughter a charm bracelet to celebrate the start of a new journey together. She has been real patient through all of this, but it is hard on children.

Cool to find someone else !

I took along my past results for the past year.

Negitive heart scan result.

Negitive liver scan result.

Full medical records-as much as you get from GP.

genetic test results (this seemed to be very important, as it showed the reason for the condition. It can be due to lots of blood transfusions for another condition, or I think alcohol related stuff, read it somewhere.) This was photocopied for Embassy, and I found that surprising. Was told it was a good thing I had that.

A letter from GP saying I was not on any medication at this time, and had NEVER been on medication for haemochromatosis.

Hospital letter saying what me treatment plan was. 6 weekly for review in my case. (This was also important.)

It seemed to be a lot of work to show I was a good girl.... and not a problem. There is such a variance in folk with this condition that I think you really need to show if you are in the easily managed group. FYI you can get free treatment while visiting, at least in California. Blood Centers of the Pacific. My UK blood cannot be used for transfusion, but they still treated me for free if I needed it as a tourist. I have a doc to look after me in the US and I took that info along for interview.

My readings sit around 35-45 these days. Hope your care is going as well as mine. You see some poor souls going for treatment.

Hi,

I rang round photographers who do wedding photos and such. I found one real nearby, Laurencekirk, (small town so it can't be that rare) who has a hand held polaroid camera that goes to different passport settings. He just selected the US setting. It cost £20 for three of us to have 6 photos each. I took along the photo requirement page from the website that says background etc. Placement of head. Easy peasy. Absolutely no chance of a photobooth for US photos near me. For the emdical I took along US photos, but also UK ones. The UK ones did the job. Save the US ones for another day.

I should add that EVERY single bit of l stuff I had was looked at at the medical. Every single medical report. Just zero re insurance and doc in the US. [Everything stateside put to one side.]I was told that it was good I had come with all that info. Saved them getting it later. You might get a request for more info.

[FYI I have haemochromatosis. I am still waiting to get our passports back from interview which was approved at the time. (Was 5th Oct). ]