djw54
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Posts posted by djw54
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If a person asked you too much money for her own paperworks its a redflag. I am sorry to tell you that. I am a Filipina myself. But from my point of view, I would think of your safety first before myself in my own country and I will tell you to meet somewhere else in my country than in my province of Mindanao cause I know how dangerous it is. And beside asking money from you is not a good sign. Try to know her more before sending money. Just a friendly advise know her more. I am sorry if I offended you, just be careful.
Oh, no offense. I really appreciate your advice, especially given that you are Filipina. Thanks so much!
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I agree in principal with all of the commentators above: chances of her getting a tourist visa are slim to none; go meet her in the PI (you are potentially marrying a Filipina, so this is also a great chance to get to know her culture too). The chance of a scam is real, but to be honest, I (now) know a good number of Pinay-Kano couples and 99.99% (or more!) are honest, true couples with normal ups and downs. I started my crazy journey almost 4 and 1/2 years ago with a friend request on FB from Joan. My initial reaction was, "OK, you come here and we will check it out" I soon learned that that was not going to happen (no way for a tourist visa). To make a long story, I made four trips to the Philippines in about 12 months, brought her here on a K1 visa, and we are a month away from a very happy third wedding anniversary. Go to the Philippines. Manila sure is not my favorite, but you could meet her there and then go somewhere else. The Philippines has some of the most beautiful places in the world. Joan and I have been to Boracay (first trip), Bohol (second trip--and the "engagement" trip), Manila (3rd and 4th trips--4th trip was the "interview" trip where we canceled a a trip to Cebu to take care of the embassy stuff), and recently Zambales (with the family) and El Nido. Each trip has its special memories for us and for our family in the PI. Go. Embrace the Philippines and get to know your future wife on her turf. Best of luck to both of you.
Wow! Thanks for sharing your journey and advice. I think you make an especially good point about learning the culture. Congratulations on your almost 3yr anniversary!!
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Have to echo what others have said. Plan yourself a little vacation. Stay in Makati,do some sightseeing, buy a local sim card and call her. If she is real you can book a cheap flight on cebu pacific. Take it from there, take it slowly.
Good plan! Thanks
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She can not afford a trip, so how is she going to get a visa?
I would have to pay for here visa process, but based on my gut and advice here, I've decided no-way I will pay to fly her here. I will pay for airfare to meet her somewhere in Phils. Thanks
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Be prepared to have a backup plan after you land in phil. I know two people that have flown there to meet someone they met online only to find that nobody was at the airport to meet them. Online scams are rampant and is viewed as a means of income now im sorry to say. Watch out for the "i live with my cousin and my neices and nephews" story as well. I hate to be a cynic but ive met so many people that have been burned. Even my fiance will warn you to be extremely careful with your money.
Wow. Yeah, she's said that she lives with her grand parents. She sent me a photo of herself with them, of course they could be just anybody. Going to be very cautious. Thanks
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ROFL
Have you suggested she pays her own way?
Have thought of this, but based on what she says about her financial situation she could not afford it. I don't have a problem with paying her airfare to Cebu or Manila, but definitely will not pay for a trip to the US until I have met here in person and things go well for us. Thanks
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Definitely meet in the Philippines. If you do end up flying her to meet you in Cebu or Manila, you can book her airfare for her online. I recommend not sending cash.
If you consider flying her to another country, google "offloading Philippines".
Good advice and thanks for "offloading" info. too.
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If you are worried about scams then definitely take your time and get to know her or any other person you meet.
Also, if she is desperate to come to the US then that may be the bigger goal rather than asking for a few bucks for you to send her every now and then.
It does seem that she is anxious to come to the US. She brings it up everyday. So far she mentioned that she will need some money to go to Manila for passport and visa. Thanks
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meet her in manila, its safer there…and just be careful, know her deeper and try to go on video chat…sadly some can just be setting you up, hope i have not offended you
No offense taken. I do need to know her better. Posters have suggested Cebu as safer and nice place to visit. Thanks.
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If a person asked you too much money for her own paperworks its a redflag. I am sorry to tell you that. I am a Filipina myself. But from my point of view, I would think of your safety first before myself in my own country and I will tell you to meet somewhere else in my country than in my province of Mindanao cause I know how dangerous it is. And beside asking money from you is not a good sign. Try to know her more before sending money. Just a friendly advise know her more. I am sorry if I offended you, just be careful.
Thank you so much. Very good advice. Actually, she has not asked me for anything yet. She does want to come to the US, but I am going to follow the good advice from you and other members.
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Thanks all for the input. Meeting her in Cebu or Manila is a good plan. It's safer, she does not need to get a visa, and I don't have to send her money other than maybe transport from her home to Cebu or wherever. I am worried about scams as mentioned. But, if she's not willing to go along with such a plan that's a red flag. Do Philippine people ever lure in foreigners to rob or kidnap?
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I have met a woman from the Philippines online. We would like to meet in person. She wants to visit me here in the US because it is not safe in her area of the Philippines, Dumalinao, Zamboanga del sur. The US state department does in fact have a travel warning for her general area, regarding kidnapping and terrorist activity. I am happy to have her visit me, however having not met her in person, I am not at all comfortable with wiring money to her for airfare, passport and visa fees etc. Any thoughts, suggestions regarding logistics of the first in person meeting? What were logistics of planning your first in person meeting? Thanks in advance!
US State Dept. " avoid all non-essential travel to the Sulu Archipelago and through the southern Sulu Sea, and to exercise extreme caution when traveling to the island of Mindanao, due to continued terrorist threats, insurgent activities and kidnappings. "
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Start protecting your self now. Hide your money sell things write every thing down report her . Dont let her know any thing what is going on while you are preparing. then give her the boot all at once. Maybe send her home to visit then cancel the return ticket at least she will have to make it back to the states on her own then while she is gone file for divorce and move. She will have nothing to come back to.
Dont make it easy for her. Sound coniving sure but do you think she hasnt been doing a little planning of her own? Cut it off at the pass.
I have been taken for every thing I had its not real fun make sure she has no credit cards in your name or cancel the ones you have. Secretly take her name off of every thing you can
Fortunately, nothing is in her name, and we don't have any joint checking accounts. The car she drives I purchased before we got married.
Thanks
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We filed the I-751 and supporting supporting evidence for my wife in February, and her unconditional residency was approved in May. She was not at all excited about it when she received the letter from USCIS. Since her approval her behavior has changed drastically. Intimacy and sex dropped off and recently she said that she is not interested in sex anymore and does not want to have a baby. She said that I could find a "friend" to have sex. No kidding.
The two years that she was a conditional resident were rocky by I tried to make it work, and things seemed to be going better. But there were several red flags. She pressured me soon after her AOS was approved to get plastic surgery on her nose and the next year orthodontia. I lost my job during this time and she still went ahead with the surgery and spent a month back in Brazil with family and friends while I'm looking for work. Just before filing the i-751 she pushed to put one of my cars in her name, her name on utility bills, and to open a joint bank account etc. Until it was time to prep for the i-751 she showed no interest in doing anything jointly.
Needless to say the marriage has pretty much broken down. And I can't imagine that we'll be staying together much longer.
Her online activity shows that she's been looking at apartments, condos and looking at personal ads of women seeking men, and getting estimates on the value of my car. She's also looking at jobs like wearing sexy/fetish outfits and donating her eggs. Sounds bizarre, I know, but all true.
She has been totally self-absorbed during these first couple years and seems that I've been duped, and she married me for the immigration benefit.
I feel that at this point I should write a letter to the USCIS and withdraw my support of the I-751 and explain all of this to them, even though her unconditional green card is in processing - suppose to arrive any day now.
Thoughts??
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We filed the I-751 and supporting supporting evidence for my wife in February, and her unconditional residency was approved in May. She was not at all excited about it when she received the letter from USCIS. Since her approval her behavior has changed drastically. Intimacy and sex dropped off and recently she said that she is not interested in sex anymore and does not want to have a baby. She said that I could find a "friend" to have sex. No kidding.
The two years that she was a conditional resident were rocky by I tried to make it work, and things seemed to be going better. But there were several red flags. She pressured me soon after her AOS was approved to get plastic surgery on her nose and the next year orthodontia. I lost my job during this time and she still went ahead with the surgery and spent a month back in Brazil with family and friends while I'm looking for work. Just before filing the i-751 she pushed to put one of my cars in her name, her name on utility bills, and to open a joint bank account etc. Until it was time to prep for the i-751 she showed no interest in doing anything jointly.
Needless to say the marriage has pretty much broken down. And I can't imagine that we'll be staying together much longer.
Her online activity shows that she's been looking at apartments, condos and looking at personal ads of women seeking men, and getting estimates on the value of my car. She's also looking at jobs like wearing sexy/fetish outfits and donating her eggs. Sounds bizarre, I know, but all true.
She has been totally self-absorbed during these first couple years and seems that I've been duped, and she married me for the immigration benefit.
I feel that at this point I should write a letter to the USCIS and withdraw my support of the I-751 and explain all of this to them, even though her unconditional green card is in processing - suppose to arrive any day now.
Thoughts??
djw
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Hi All,
We filed the I-751 and supporting supporting evidence for my wife in February, and her unconditional residency was approved in May. She was not at all excited about it when she received the letter from USCIS. Since her approval her behavior has changed drastically. Intimacy and sex dropped off and recently she said that she is not interested in sex anymore and does not want to have a baby. She said that I could find a "friend" to have sex. No kidding.
The two years that she was a conditional resident were rocky by I tried to make it work, and things seemed to be going better. But there were several red flags. She pressured me soon after her AOS was approved to get plastic surgery on her nose and the next year orthodontia. I lost my job during this time and she still went ahead with the surgery and spent a month back in Brazil with family and friends while I'm looking for work. Just before filing the i-751 she pushed to put one of my cars in her name, her name on utility bills, and to open a joint bank account etc. Until it was time to prep for the i-751 she showed no interest in doing anything jointly.
Needless to say the marriage has pretty much broken down. And I can't imagine that we'll be staying together much longer.
Her online activity shows that she's been looking at apartments, condos and looking at personal ads of women seeking men, and getting estimates on the value of my car. She's also looking at jobs like wearing sexy/fetish outfits and donating her eggs. Sounds bizarre, I know, but all true.
She has been totally self-absorbed during these first couple years and seems that I've been duped, and she married me for the immigration benefit.
I feel that at this point I should write a letter to the USCIS and withdraw my support of the I-751 and explain all of this to them, even though her unconditional green card is in processing - suppose to arrive any day now.
Thoughts??
djb
What we are interested in knowing about is any warning signs that cropped up maybe this time last year.
How many times did you go see her?
Brazilian women are not know to act this way...Fiercely loyal and devoted to their man. Any signs of substance abuse?
Nothing that I can recall from one year ago. I visited her five times before she entered the US. Definitely no drug and barely drinks.
Did you have a comment?
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Hi All,
We filed the I-751 and supporting supporting evidence for my wife in February, and her unconditional residency was approved in May. She was not at all excited about it when she received the letter from USCIS. Since her approval her behavior has changed drastically. Intimacy and sex dropped off and recently she said that she is not interested in sex anymore and does not want to have a baby. She said that I could find a "friend" to have sex. No kidding.
The two years that she was a conditional resident were rocky by I tried to make it work, and things seemed to be going better. But there were several red flags. She pressured me soon after her AOS was approved to get plastic surgery on her nose and the next year orthodontia. I lost my job during this time and she still went ahead with the surgery and spent a month back in Brazil with family and friends while I'm looking for work. Just before filing the i-751 she pushed to put one of my cars in her name, her name on utility bills, and to open a joint bank account etc. Until it was time to prep for the i-751 she showed no interest in doing anything jointly.
Needless to say the marriage has pretty much broken down. And I can't imagine that we'll be staying together much longer.
Her online activity shows that she's been looking at apartments, condos and looking at personal ads of women seeking men, and getting estimates on the value of my car. She's also looking at jobs like wearing sexy/fetish outfits and donating her eggs. Sounds bizarre, I know, but all true.
She has been totally self-absorbed during these first couple years and seems that I've been duped, and she married me for the immigration benefit.
I feel that at this point I should write a letter to the USCIS and withdraw my support of the I-751 and explain all of this to them, even though her unconditional green card is in processing - suppose to arrive any day now.
Thoughts??
djb
Which country for first in-person meeting
in Philippines
Posted
Thank you Joel! Great advice. I did ask her if she has Skype and she said that she does not. I think that I will encourage her to make her way to an Internet café. Thanks much!