huckleberry

Maybe he cares about this process, silently, but he’s obviously not in a hurry, or maybe he doesn't care at all. I just don’t want to pressure him because he is making it difficult for me already. So I am doing everything I can gather for this process by myself. I'm gonna call his company myself in few days if he still wont have the health insurance thing.
I accept that we are separated 100% financially for I didn’t bring a single penny into this marriage (typical for some here) and everything he has he struggled and acquired for it himself, I didn’t marry him for money either, in fact it never came to my mind even in a millisecond, but at least I wanted us to be one emotionally. We are just too far apart. Hearty talk and discussion is impossible with husband, every time his mouth opens it hurts me. He orders me around left and right. When I said in anger “I’m not a slave or a maid” he was so so mad. . All we talk about is sex, outside it, he is not open to what I want and need to say, I just don’t have a voice, he never listens nor gives value to what I had to say, he does not discuss with me what’s he’s planning, I am always just surprised something has been done. One of the reasons I married him because he agreed we will have a baby, but now he's saying we wont have any; I'm not getting any younger.
I can only talk bit by bit to his aging parents. I once called their church leader, in tears, but I didn’t realize he has deaf ears. A lot of emotions, thinking and realizations has been building up inside me now but I am not yet saying a thing. Everyday is a struggle. I can build a lake, much smaller than his property though, with the buckets and pails of tears I had shed with him. My mother said to just continue to serve him even when there are no feelings anymore, until the right time.
I was like a puppy when I said we’d start all over again. We’ve have this problem for quiet a while now and there are times I really want to move out but I have no car and just some hundreds in the bank. He said he doesn’t want divorce because it would embarrass him being successful in his job and have failed marriages, this is his 2nd. He already accused me of after the green card (he should have not married me in the 1st place) only even when I didn’t know how it looked like and what is it before I married him. I am just being practical also; I feel he will not be a sport when we divorce and I know it’s more difficult for me that way with this lifting of resident condition, and while I am here it’s just right I not abandon it. You know how is it when you wanted to ‘worship’ your husband then you find out he’s treating you like an enemy he’s more than an enemy who keeps betraying you? I still can't fully grasp it all for now.
Thank you all so much for the advices. I have more documents now than before I came here. Till the RFE.