Tim and Bethanie

In all honestly, any comment, response, logic, reason, humor, and etc that is contrary to another person's belief or thought process at that particular time could be considered instigating. There is truly no direct answer. The only thing that we can do is attempt to adhere to the TOS and to be civil / respectful to one another. Other than that, we could spend countless hours discussing this one...

Cheers!!!

Sheriff Uling

There is one way to fix it.

I found these and thought how very much they apply to the topic at hand. A bully continues to pick the fight yet the bullied is supposed to be the stronger of the two and keep their mouthes shut? Smells like bully-sh*t to me. Tis the natural instinct of the bully to not get a reaction, but for his/her victim to shut up and take it. This makes the bully the BULLY!

Perhaps anyone who is not a bully should keep quiet and let the bullies run the entire forum, since this is after all what they are after. Once all of the bullied folks are gone the bullies can then take pot shots at one another. Fun fun!

"Bullies are always cowards at heart and may be credited with a pretty safe instinct in scenting their prey. "

~Anna Julia Cooper~

"Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life, but define yourself."

~Harvey S. Firestone~

If this is in response to what I said, then I'll say this:

No one is saying that a person feeling bullied should keep his/her mouth shut per se, but when the reaction denigrates into a name calling, bickering childish argument...which one is the bully? I'll turn this on myself for one sec. I started a thread about thread locks. It was automatically assumed to be 'antagonistic' even though I specified it wasn't. That was used as justification for animosity & so much childishness, that the thread wound up getting locked. When the thread was asking a legitimate question.

The bottom line is....you (generic you here) may not like me, I may not like you...but every time we're in a thread together does not mean that one or the other needs to look for some 'hidden insult' to get offended by and used as justification for acting in a manner unsuitable for an adult. If both parties feel bullied, then where's it end? Both sides feeling justified to throw sh!t in the other's direction, with no one taking responsibility for it? No, surely there's a much calmer and more adult way to deal with something as basic as a personality conflict on a message board.

Your quotes can probably be applicable for every person alive. Perspective is reality. I most certainly define my own life & am not pushed into silence. But I'm a biotch because of it, hahahaha. And because of such, it's ok to treat me in whichever manner one sees fit. Eh, it's no big shakes but the irony is astounding.

It stems from what you posted, sure! Directed at you? No.

My point is one can't keep jabbing and jabbing and not expect some form of a retaliation. Let us say a man beats on a dog until finally the dog bites him (bound to happen). Do we blame the dog and put him down? He wasn't acting like a labrador anymore but like a pitbull. There is only so much anyone can take until they are put in the foulest of moods, and curse them if they finally bite back.

Yodrak.

I saw a post last week, no wait a couple of post by a particular person that was this subtle little stab at someone else. No names were spoken, didn't need to be. This person takes on the position that they are the shining star and above everyone else, despite being a right nasty little critter. So this person does this same ol' song and dance until finally someone takes a nice big pot shot at them, and they cry "mommy"! Personally, even though that persons comments were not directed at me it was very difficult to restrain myself. So had I made a perfectly logical response to that person, would that then make me the instigator?

This isn't going to go anywhere but in circles. Maybe just telling these types of persons to F.O and going on with the day could be the new VJ attitude.

I found these and thought how very much they apply to the topic at hand. A bully continues to pick the fight yet the bullied is supposed to be the stronger of the two and keep their mouthes shut? Smells like bully-sh*t to me. Tis the natural instinct of the bully to not get a reaction, but for his/her victim to shut up and take it. This makes the bully the BULLY!

Perhaps anyone who is not a bully should keep quiet and let the bullies run the entire forum, since this is after all what they are after. Once all of the bullied folks are gone the bullies can then take pot shots at one another. Fun fun!

"Bullies are always cowards at heart and may be credited with a pretty safe instinct in scenting their prey. "

~Anna Julia Cooper~

"Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life, but define yourself."

~Harvey S. Firestone~

A year and a half but it was a CR-1 not a K-1, and we obviously were already married at that point.

Wishing all of you waiting a quick finish. Keep in mind the people in that office are just like you and I, they like to take vacations in the summer too!

Just out of curiosity: Once the divorce is "reversed", are you considered to be married again or will you have to re-marry?

And will you be able to proceed with the same petition as before the "divorce"?

I am wondering the same. If the decision is simply reversed that is one thing, but if no longer married and you must marry again........well it would seem your entire petition is false at this point.

I do agree, it should be an interesting interview. Wish you well.

we've had a lot of good times in the past 3 years plus the 3 years we dated.

we are really young but i really needed a green card when we were 21 we took a leap.

i've lived in america for ten plus years and we met when we were preteens.. PRETEENS.

i'm so angry that he has trouble finishing college while scored 1430 on the SAT. why can't he do something productive beyond being emo.

i thought he had ambition and potential.. he is so smart, but has no guts.. oh god.. i'm really wondering if i was totally wrong.

he insists on moving to another state on a whim, cutting college, just to "do something else", while i must stay and complete my premed requirements, work at a job that i tried so hard to get, at a top ranked national university based medical center. i have these research projects that could potentially be published. i just can't understand why does he HAVE to move to another state. why can't he just stick around another 2 years and finish up his bachelors, i'll be done with mcat, then we can move together. i was trying so hard to do so well so i have choices when it comes to med school, so i can have a choice close to where he wants to live...

we don't have the kind of money to pay for outta state tuition else where anyways....

i filed for lifting my conditional residency last week, but he actually moved away by himself and got a new job the same week, i didn't even get our bank statement from the account that was mostly used by him this week.. it usually comes at this time.... i can't believe it. he changed his mailing address without telling me....

he runs away from everything!!

i also began to question his sexual orientation shortly ago.....

this whole thing is so miserable right now. i have to think about it about every hour at least once...

I, I, I, Me, me me........Do you see a pattern here? You had one good thing to say about HIM (bolded in red)! Dunno but maybe the problem isn't as difficult as you see it, a bit one-sided perhaps.

This topic has been closed per the request of the original poster. Thank you for your understanding.

Ewooooookie wokie, I fink you are fibbing! (taken from-http://www.visajourney.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=4424)

Okay for once in a very long time, I got a laugh in the UK forums!

When my now husband used to mail me things from the US it took anything from 7-14 days for me to get it. I wouldnt worry about it, bet it will be there in the next couple of days

It has been a long while for us. I will try to remember to look it up when I get home if no one can give you an answer.

I don't think I can handle another thread bump here. Not.one.more.

I'm tired of people who want to dish it out, but can't take it. People who forget how rude they have been to others when they complain that someone is being rude to them.

This quote is so true:

"This year, or this month, or, more likely, this very day, we have failed to practice ourselves the kind of behaviour we expect from other people."-C.S. Lewis

That's my complaint for today!

Stina, you been hopping over into the UK forums?

Given the shocking behavior in my thread yesterday I feel this is no longer an appropriate or friendly place for me to be, especially since this site is all about family immigration and my cowardly ** of a soon to be ex husband lied his way through our marriage and we're now divorcing.

So I'm not really interested in hanging out with a bunch of happy families, especially when they're rubbing salt in my open wounds.

To the people who were supportive, thank you.

I may visit occasionally but this will be my last post for a while.

I guess.. I suppose we all could bail out of VJ when our relationship goes south.

I thought about disabling my account since our denial and since my husband has asked for a divorce.

but, I am here maybe not for the " pour some salt on me treatment" but, maybe for a little healing.

You have so much information to share with others, it would be a loss to see you go.

To protect my Husband and our privacy I can not state the reason for denial.

Enough said.

Summer, you actually came across my thoughts the other day. I was wondering how you two were doing. It's good to see your post.

Oddly enough, I too thought of you guys about two days ago.

Hopefully a lawyer will resolve whatever issues are going on with your case and someday you two can lead a life together here in the states.

You are still in our thoughts! Have a safe and wonderful visit with your husband!

Bethanie

sorry to see you go HA. thanks for the advice.

please tell me people weren't mocking her yesterday. if you agree w/ someone or not, or even if its personality issue. poking at someone w/ a broken heart is beyond cowardly.

Please step this way----->......... to the beer and wine threads, plenty of hearts to be had there.

Best of luck to you H-A. Have a safe trip home this weekend.

Nooooooooo! I refuse to even take a looksey!

P.S Hi my name is Bethanie, and I am addicted to WOW.

This pic is from the Ocean's 13 Premiere. (with Carrot Top)

STOBBIT YOU ARE SCARING ME!