MelissaJulian

Thank you to everyone for the best wishes. The wedding was WONDERFUL, except for all the rain that we're having here. I'm so glad we decided to have everything indoors, since my original plan was to have the reception in my parents' backyard with heater lamps for the evening. My sister was pretty well-behaved, the ceremony was beautiful and the reception only had a few hiccups (mostly to do with the best man being a total lech with all the bridesmaids ). Julian and I are taking a week to relax after the wedding, then we're off for three weeks in St. John. Can't wait!

Checking in from the reception -- WE ARE MARRIED!

Inappropriately graphic image - offensive even for Off Topic - has been removed.

Thank you.

Julian's is staying at our house for the night with his friends, and I'm now at my parents house with my sister and one of my bridesmaids (the other two should be here pretty soon). I can't believe this is all finally happening. Finally!

I thought the smug level in Los Angeles had risen recently

Oh yeah, very funny.

We have one...just waiting for Alex to ####### off...

Why is Alex in our bedroom?????

Well, the day is still young.

Umm.... Sweetie, be quiet. Please?

How did YOU mess it up? Why didn't Julian research it before he even moved? It's not just your responsibility to know and understand how the process works. I'm sure they would have said something if he didn't come up in the system. If you don't get the card, go back and check again. It's not the end of the world.

We DID research it, but I guess I misunderstood. Julian thought he had to wait, and I said no. But yes, it's not the end of the world.

This is so weird, Julian and I are both on our laptops, posting and sitting next to each other.

Exactly what I've been trying to tell Melissa. The schools in this country are simply awful, there's no way round that. Fortunately there are some very good 'private' schools in our area, but that is a bridge we will burn when we come to it.

Yes, there are some good schools around here, but that's not something to worry about for now, sweetie.

Thank you all for the advice about the SSN. I haven't told Julian I messed up on this, but he'll probably be on later to read it anyway. He's out right now with his best man having lunch, probably complaining about how gloomy it is here today. He thought it would be sunnier.

God, can we get him deported? It's attitudes and behaviours like this that give entire nations a bad reputation. He's going to need to get over his entitled, elitist attitude PDQ if he thinks he's going to get anywhere with it in the US. For his own sanity and for the sake of the entire British population.

Having said all that, there's plenty of people who are going to be terrified he's Harry Potter's distant cousin, of the Slytherin persuasion, and comply with his foot-stomping for fear of having Crucio cast upon them...

Why do you have to be so rude about him? What has he done to YOU personally that you think you know what he's like? And the Harry Potter thing is ridiculous and juvenile.

Edit: he just came home with Alex from lunch.

Yes this is true normally, but in this case they don't have 2 weeks;

I suspect it may be rejected despite the fact Melissa said that they GAVE him the SSN.

Just because you filled in forms and had all your "ducks in a row" doesn't mean you will

automatically get an SSN; I would check back at the office in 3 weeks time and re-apply

then, as that would be plenty of time for the SAVE-ASVI system to display his record of arrival.

They claimed that my wife's initial SSN application was rejected because she got married

and changed her name BEFORE applying; maybe that won't be a problem in Julian's case

as he won't (never say never) have changed his name...but the truth is they just botched

her application and didn't give us the correct information.

They did not give him an SSN -- he filled in the paperwork and they told him to watch for something in the mail. Oh god, are we going to get rejected? Julian is going to KILL me!

Congratulations!

Did he already get his SSN? There may be problems if you marry first; may have to wait until after AOS.

You can file joint taxes for 2010; I got married Dec. 31 2009 and that was fine with the IRS.

We went yesterday for his SSN and although he got REALLY frustrated with the woman at the counter for not understanding his accent, he did not say anything TOO bad to her because he wanted actually walk out of there with an SSN! We got the marriage license yesterday, the rehearsal and rehearsal dinner are tonight. I've been off work since Wednesday getting everything prepared. I'm going to my parents' house tonight to spend the night in my old room, and my bridesmaids are all staying with me too. I feel like I'm going to explode with excitement!

Congratulations and best wishes, Melissa and Julian.

And happy holidays!

Thank you! And happy holidays to you and your husband too.

Glad he made it and your sister is OK with being a bridesmaid. Makes things alot easier on you.

It really does make it easier! I told her that it was unfair to my MOH and she eventually gave up pressing me for it.

pics pics pics!

I'll ask Julian, but I think he is going to say NO. He's pretty worried about some of the people on VJ coming to hunt him down.

SO EXCITED! We are FINALLY getting married tomorrow. It's been nearly two years since we first started the process -- we started, and then we broke up, and then got back together, and filed, and got tripped up by a RFE, and got the visa, and then Julian missed his flight but we are now both here together, in our new house and tomorrow we get married in front of our friends and family.

I could not be more happy than I am right now.

Just so you all know, Julian made it here fine on Tuesday. His POE was very smooth and we are getting married tomorrow! I have decided not to have my sister be my MOH but to keep my friend instead. She's been pretty OK with just being a bridesmaid after all. And yes, he missed his flight, which was REALLY annoying, but in the end he is here (and jetlagged and cranky! ) and our wedding is going ahead as planned. I am SO excited!

I'm really glad so many of you seem to think this is so amusing. Many thanks to those of you who actually took this SERIOUSLY and offered advice because I found it useful.

I'm also pretty sick of hearing how we aren't "real". I know who mcat is and what his story was and I'm sorry, but only an idiot would have believed any of that. It was pretty obvious he was trolling. If we really want to point fingers at stuff that sounds made up, I would have to say that a lot of what Gary writes about his wife sounds like BS. Who amasses a bunch of Master's degrees and doesn't go for a Ph.D.? It just sounds weird to me. If it's true, fine, whatever. I read a lot on here even if I don't post a lot, and there are a LOT of stories that don't add up. Are some of them true? I'm sure they are! Are some of them lies? Yes!

Julian overslept and missed his flight. Nothing sinister about it. He had gone to a going away party the night before and he was up late. Yes, it was stupid and he knows how I feel about it, but it wasn't because he has cold feet! He feels really terrible about all of it. He is now coming on Tuesday, which is a little too close to the ceremony and the rehearsal dinner for my liking but I have to live with it.

Good Morning, I came back to read the rest of the posts, This is my favorite. Are you trying to convince him? or yourself?

Thongguy is making a good faith effort to give good advice and he was doing ok until he superimposed his life on yours.

He was apparently estranged from his brother against his will.

He was longing for that relationship. His new wife is helping to him to have that relationship, ,,,,,,,,,,,,, good

the difference is , you are not longing for a relationship with your sister

you would like to get as far away as possible

Your boyfriend is pushing you to do what you dont want to do ............................. not good

If she is really in favor of your marriage she should be thrilled to be godmother to your (and Julian's) kid.

Obviously if she hates the guy she is not in favor of your wedding. She appears to be willing to go along

for your sake. she thinks you are making a mistake.

You could say you had no idea that your sister wanted to be in the wedding party but since she has a

change of heart you have to go with that because it would be an opportunity to rebuild your relationship

with her.

you know you dont want your sister in the wedding party at all. your mother knows it, your sister knows it

your boyfriend knows it. Jen knows it. So who exactly would you be kidding? If your sister cared for

anyone but herself she wouldnt dream of asking you to snub your best friend who has been lined up

to do this for months.

Im not sure what rebuilding is supposed to take place.

you dont like her and dont want to be around her because of the way she treats you,

I think you get some things right here -- I DON'T want Rachel in my wedding party at all. She manages to steal attention away from everyone at moments that have nothing to do with her. This is just another time when she's doing it.

I'm actually having a terrible morning. Julian missed his flight, and there's not another one today on BA that he can get on. He's trying to reschedule right now, but all our plans for the weekend are ruined. I'm so angry with him, but also just plain disappointed.

I guess it wouldn't hurt to ask Jen. It's not like she won't still be in the wedding party. And if she does really love me as a friend, she won't walk away from me right now when I need her support. I guess I'm just freaking out because Julian's flight is tomorrow and I can't wait to see him!

Actually telling the MOH/friend to give up her position as MOH in exchange for being godmother

to your first child may "out" her and make her show you what camp she really is in.

If she is really in favor of your marriage she should be thrilled to be godmother to your (and Julian's) kid.

You could say you had no idea that your sister wanted to be in the wedding party but since she has a

change of heart you have to go with that because it would be an opportunity to rebuild your relationship

with her.

This sounds like a really great idea -- thank you SO much.

I'll just throw in a few more details lacking from Mel's post. As I've said before, her mum is right on this one. Sorry Mel, but she is. Jen may be a good friend of yours, but she's not a good friend of mine. Far from it actually, she's downright hostile. So as Mel's mum has quite rightly put to her on more than one occasion, how can that possibly start a marriage off on the right foot? My advice (as before) is to put family first. Friends will come and go, and I'm sorry but the loss of Jen's friendship would be no bad thing. Your family however, will always be there and who knows, maybe it's a good way for you to patch things up with sis. She's not as bad as all that, actually.

And I would appreciate it if we'd leave my mum out of this, as it has no bearing on the topic at hand.

Julian, I know how you feel about this, but Jenn has already walked out of the wedding and now you want me to risk losing Jen too? And I know that Rachel has been emailing you about this and trying to get you to convince me. I just don't know what's right here -- to go with friends or family?

You gotta be strong Cinderella.

Thank you.

I think you should give Rachel the uber important job of looking after Jocasta.

I would LOVE that! I only wish I could. As it stands, she already has teased me about how she has the hots for the best man, which she says is a good reason for promoting her. UGH! Families!

If I actually got along with my sister, I wouldn't mind her being a co-MOH. But she is ALWAYS finding ways of making me feel bad about myself, how I look, etc. She's the favorite child of us two and she has always gotten whatever she wants in life. I do find it hard to stand up to my parents though, you're right.

About 10 days ago, one of my bridesmaids told me she no longer wanted to be in my wedding after she and I had a huge fight. She and my fiance don't get along very well, and I have known this for a while, but until the beginning of last week she seemed to be able to just keep quiet about this and help us celebrate our wedding. However, she seems to have changed her mind now. She brought back the bridesmaid's dress and shoes I bought her and told me to find someone else. I couldn't believe it! She left me with about 2 1/2 weeks (our wedding is a week from this Saturday) to find someone new to be a bridesmaid. My mom made me choose my sister, which I had NOT wanted to do for any number of reasons (first off, she is too large up top to fit in the dress, so we needed to get her a new one and then have it tailored).

Now my sister is being totally unbearable, and is demanding that she be made maid of honor since she's my sister. What's worse is my mom agrees! I have already had the same friend as my MOH since I got engaged in the spring, and it seems cruel to demote her now. Especially since I never wanted my sister in my wedding party in the first place! I know if I don't "promote" Rachel (my sister) to MOH, I won't have any rest from her or my mom, but if I "demote" Jen I will be doing something I don't want to do and I'll hurt her feelings.

Since many of my close friends are involved already in the wedding planning, I feel like I can't get an objective point of view on this, so I thought I could ask people here. So -- what would you do? I feel like I should stand my ground, but my fiance thinks I should go along with my mother and sister. Help!

Hi stranger lady. I was wondering how it was all going for you these days -- granted, I haven't been on much recently, but I never saw you post much after the interview. I took that as a good sign, and I guess it was. Too bad Julian is still being such a jerk about moving over here; it continues to be a source of confusion to me why he would ever agree to come here when he hates it so much! Oh well, most of the whingers end up rubbing along all right over here, and if not, guess you guys will need to find a third, neutral country to live in!

He's not being a jerk, he just sometimes doesn't like how certain things are run over here, and thinks the whole political system is ridiculous. Last night he was telling me how this would be a better country if we had a parliamentary democracy like they have in Britain, and how it's ridiculous that he has to take a driving test again over here when he has had his DL for years (although he says he has a couple of points for speeding!), or that the immigration system was so difficult to navigate when in order for me to come over it would have taken only a fraction of the time.

Hi everyone! It's been a REALLY long time since I posted, life has been kind of crazy with moving and planning a wedding (next week! Eeeeek!). I just wanted to let everyone know that Julian is almost here -- his flight gets in on Friday night. I'm running around fixing up the house, dealing with last minute wedding preparation (one of my bridesmaids dropped out, so I had to ask my sister at the last moment), and generally freaking out but in a crazy-happy way! I can't believe that after all this time it's really going to happen and we're really going to get married. Julian is of course grumbling about EVERYTHING but since the interview life and time has just sped along. Can't wait to have him in my arms and know he's with me for good.

False alarm -- WE MADE IT!!!!!!! :D :D

:D

It's over. At last! I fell asleep before he called, and then when he did call me at 5am I went right back to sleep. I am SO glad I took today off! I will post more later today after he and I have spoken again (which should be pretty soon), but he told me it went OK except for the time between the first document check and the actual interview, when he felt like he was going to, um, throw up? I think it was nerves and the hangover. Anyway, the interview was fine, he was able to self-sponsor no problem and now he's back at his flat.

I have SO much to do but I will come back with more details. I CAN'T BELIEVE WE FINALLY DID IT! Thanks SO much to all of you for EVERYTHING the last six months. :luv:

Nothing yet. I am SO tired but I can't sleep. At all.