ASAPNeedHelp

Well Hi there!

I just got my 10 year GC after filing for myself in Feb of last year, citing extreme cruelty and good faith marriage as bases for the petition by myself.

Now, I got married to my ex with no clue of his underlying nature, and then quickly found out. We stayed married (by the time of the divorce which was finalized in December of 2007) for about 2 and 1/4 years or so. During that time, I did call the police on him once and actually went to the police in person once again after that. He had a restraining order on him for a period of time also, but there was other stuff too.

Now first things first - VAWA is only applicable if you DO NOT have your conditional permanent resident card yet. VAWA doesn't pertain to individuals WITH the conditional PR status! So, in short, forget about VAWA - it's a law put into place to help family members who are abused before the get their conditional status - it's very hard to navigate and get around and involves a prima facie and a long, long wait. I remember several VJ members going through that process here a couple of years ago. So, forget that VAWA - it has nothing to do with your situation.

Now honestly, the fact that you didn't call the cops doesn't surprise me. Most abused women don't - at least, not at first. So yeah, I did - but he'd been getting progressively more and more violent and had spent the evening trying to suffocate me and hold me down, among other things. Shoving, pushing into things and trying to throw me over the top of the stairs; slapping me; restraining me (at one point he had me held down with my arms above my head - a classic suffocation move - at the bottom of a flight of stairs). Generally the dude was unfeeling and extremely cruel mentally as well - he'd try to get me to go with other women (something I am absolutely not into) and would withhold all affection for months at a time, only to dish it out in small doses when he wanted something from me.

Economic abuse was another thing I had to enjoy in my marriage. He would simply not work - he'd get fired from every job because of his crappy attitude and then would sit on his behind and watch TV like a petulant child. He'd sleep on the couch every single night, and play music until 4am - I doubt I got a good night's sleep the entire time we were together. Intimately, he was plain cruel. At one point he went to "work" a couple of hours away for weeks at a time, mysteriously never bringing home a paycheck, until I found out he'd been spending his time high, fishing and at strip clubs (oh, what we choose to ignore...).

Additionally he was a terrible drunk. He'd drink until he passed out, pee the bed (which I had to clean up) or the sofa or whatever and would get violent when drunk. At the time of his first arrest, he was apprehended about two blocks away from our house after fleeing from the police, dropped his pipe on the ground, claimed it wasn't his; had no license to drive and when they finally breathalyzed him about three hours later, still had a blood alcohol content of 0.209... In short, it was a bloody awful marriage!

Anyway the reason I tell you this, years after my own bad experience is that I also told USCIS. I wrote them a series of statements explaining what I had been through in great detail. I enclosed the documents I should have given to the judge at his order of protection hearing that he demanded. I enclosed both police reports. I enclosed my counseling records - in fact, I enclosed all of my notes from the psychologist for every single session I ever attended. I enclosed my chiro's report from treating the whiplash injuries I'd sustained from being thrown against stuff. I also had been fortunate enough to think of buying a voice recorder from eBay at his saying "it's your word against mine - nobody will believe you..." and recorded him beating up our pet dog (he once kicked the dog so hard just above the eye (after I left - I came back to take him out one day while my ex was out) that the wound became infected and exploded all over the back yard (think pus, blood, the works)...). I also recorded him during a rampage he had after threatening to destroy my car.

All in all, I was honest, I also provided the USCIS with statements of insurance (I had him on mine), bills at our joint address, mortgage documents proving I owned the house all by myself, tax returns, photos, all sorts of junk I'd dug up proving yes, indeed, I had suffered under the same roof as that sonofa...for two years!

They approved me, after I sent in my giant wad, without an RFE or even an interview. In the end, I think the quantity of stuff and the statements I made gave them good leads to get in touch with people who could corroborate my story - and there were plenty of them. I'd recommend statements - by you, others, anything like that, if you intend to give cruelty as a reason.

Anyway that's enough of that! In the end, it can be done. If you're honest, honesty will prevail in the end - especially when accompanied by a massive pile of stuff to prove you entered the marriage in good faith and that he ended up being not who you thought he was...

Very good luck to you! *HUGE hugs* XXX

i feel you there girl with all the mess and horible monster husband. luckly for me but not for my INS case i was married for about a year only. during this time, he got fired from his job, was treating me like s**t, was controling, forcing things on me etc... but i never went to police, counselor or anyone else to talke about it. eventually i opened up to some of my friends and family.

seems that filing as entered in good faith marriage and got divorced is my only choice. my worry is that i don't have tons of paper work to prove our short relationship. b/c eventually he moved when i was out of town w/o me knowing it, and it was the end of our civil relationship.

all i have is:

pictures with friends and family and our pet

affidavits from friends and family (about 5 of them)

my affidavit (9 pages long)

electric bills with our names

car insurance with our names

cable bills with our names

cc accoutn with same number on both our cards

letters to me or him with same mailing address

joint tax return for 1 year

that's about it. i had magazines with our names on and some other things, but when he moved it was all gone with him

so, i'm just worried that it won't be enought.

and if i will try to dig into abuse, i won't have enought evidence for it neither.

thank you and i'm so happy that you out of that horible relationship, and got your gc! congrads!!!

Might not be a bad idea to schedule an infopass appointment to find out what your options are at this stage, but it seems you don't have the evidence to prove abuse. You may just have to pursue it as a divorce from a good faith marriage.

Excellent, excellent idea.

so, you don't think I should try to do VAWA?

Lady, by your own admission you have no tangible proof that your husband abused you. You have some letters from friends...not enough given the level of detailed evidence USCIS expects to see on an abuse claim. Why is it so difficult for you to just prove that your marriage was good faith while it lasted, and now you're divorced?

-P

i believe it's not hard to proof that we were married and now divorced. It's just when I was filing, I guess I did not put the emphasys on all the proofs that I had to show to show the abuse. and he was abusing me. the only thing I have for abuse is: letters from friends, and police report that shows that he fraudly opened cc under my name and spent $10,000. so i have proof of it by police, creditors and amex (where he opened the account). Based on all that, and not being advised properly, i decided to check box for cruelty.

this is why understanding the instructions and implications of each form is of paramount importance. I will ask again, have you followed proper procedure and witdrawn your other I-751 you filed? I would follow the suggestion of the member that said to request an Infopass appointment and go speak with an immigration officer. Once you're sure your previous app is withdrawn, you can re-file, using filing basis D.

BTW, an ex or even a current husband fraudulently opening a card and spending 10K is not battery or extreme curelty as understood by USCIS. He abused your creditworthyness by doing this, not abused you.

Good luck,

-P.

I already scheduled an InfoPass appointment for tomorrow. will bring all my papers there and will make sure that it's all withdrawn properly.

as of the abuse- there was more than just creditworthyness, but i don't like to go into it, especially that i don't have any writen professional evidence for it.

Thank you all for your help.

If your abuse or what you claim as abuse cannot be verified by police reports, letters from shelters, legal documents, etc. then you do not have a case for removing conditions based on abuse. Your abuse better be quite significant and provable.

As everyone here has mentioned, you are totally free to remove conditions based on the fact that you entered into a good faith marriage and it didn't work out.

Here's my question - are you trying to not have to pay for the I-751? If that is the case, you should also have a very significant issue to justify that. My friends actually received a waiver for payment as she has breast cancer, no insurance and they are having to pay for her medical care out of pocket. The USCIS actually did have a heart for that - but they are notorious for not giving a rat's azz about the despair you might be in.

ohh no, not paying the filing fee is not my dilema here at all! I would pay "anything" and get this nightmare over with... no, i'm just really confused... and trying to figure out all the details w/o my lawyer

Might not be a bad idea to schedule an infopass appointment to find out what your options are at this stage, but it seems you don't have the evidence to prove abuse. You may just have to pursue it as a divorce from a good faith marriage.

Excellent, excellent idea.

so, you don't think I should try to do VAWA?

Lady, by your own admission you have no tangible proof that your husband abused you. You have some letters from friends...not enough given the level of detailed evidence USCIS expects to see on an abuse claim. Why is it so difficult for you to just prove that your marriage was good faith while it lasted, and now you're divorced?

-P

i believe it's not hard to proof that we were married and now divorced. It's just when I was filing, I guess I did not put the emphasys on all the proofs that I had to show to show the abuse. and he was abusing me. the only thing I have for abuse is: letters from friends, and police report that shows that he fraudly opened cc under my name and spent $10,000. so i have proof of it by police, creditors and amex (where he opened the account). Based on all that, and not being advised properly, i decided to check box for cruelty.

this is why understanding the instructions and implications of each form is of paramount importance. I will ask again, have you followed proper procedure and witdrawn your other I-751 you filed? I would follow the suggestion of the member that said to request an Infopass appointment and go speak with an immigration officer. Once you're sure your previous app is withdrawn, you can re-file, using filing basis D.

BTW, an ex or even a current husband fraudulently opening a card and spending 10K is not battery or extreme curelty as understood by USCIS. He abused your creditworthyness by doing this, not abused you.

Good luck,

-P.

I already scheduled an InfoPass appointment for tomorrow. will bring all my papers there and will make sure that it's all withdrawn properly.

as of the abuse- there was more than just creditworthyness, but i don't like to go into it, especially that i don't have any writen professional evidence for it.

Thank you all for your help.

Might not be a bad idea to schedule an infopass appointment to find out what your options are at this stage, but it seems you don't have the evidence to prove abuse. You may just have to pursue it as a divorce from a good faith marriage.

Excellent, excellent idea.

so, you don't think I should try to do VAWA?

Lady, by your own admission you have no tangible proof that your husband abused you. You have some letters from friends...not enough given the level of detailed evidence USCIS expects to see on an abuse claim. Why is it so difficult for you to just prove that your marriage was good faith while it lasted, and now you're divorced?

-P

i believe it's not hard to proof that we were married and now divorced. It's just when I was filing, I guess I did not put the emphasys on all the proofs that I had to show to show the abuse. and he was abusing me. the only thing I have for abuse is: letters from friends, and police report that shows that he fraudly opened cc under my name and spent $10,000. so i have proof of it by police, creditors and amex (where he opened the account). Based on all that, and not being advised properly, i decided to check box for cruelty.

Makes a bit more sense, yes.

You will need documentation if you plan to file what is known as a VAWA claim (Violence Against Women Act). Didn't you lawyer tell you this? Is he an immigration attorney or a family law/divorce attorney?

As far as withdrawing your already filed petition; I have no clue if it can be done.

Sorry I could not be of more help; but your case seems to be complex.

this is such a great information. My lawyer is supposedly an immigration lawyer, BUt i don't really trust him. and I cannot change him b/c i paid him a lot opf money already.

how do i start a VAWA claim? how long does it takes? should I go to a counselor and ask them write a letter. Is it might be a problem that it was 3 years ago? it's not too late for filing now about it? I never wanted to "deal" with the abuse and make it "public" that's why we just got divorced and I don't know where my ex husband is now...

wouldn't it be easier to just file as we were married and got divorced?

thank you so much for all the information... you have no idea how I appreciate it!

You will be best served by reading the guides here, and browsing a little through the Forums, paying more attention to the "Effects of Major Family Changes on Immigration Benefits" forum.

In order to file under Petition Basis category E - I am a conditional resident spouse who entered a marriage in good faith, and during the marriage I was battered by or was the subject of extreme cruelty by my U.S. citizen or permanent resident spouse or parent, you will need to provide the following information:

If you are filing to waive the joint filing requirement because you and/or your conditional resident child were battered or subjected to extreme cruelty, also file your petition with the following:

A. Evidence of the physical abuse, such as copies of reports or official records issued by police, judges, medical personnel, school officials and representatives of social service agencies, and original affidavits as described under Evidence of the Relationship; or

B. Evidence of the abuse, such as copies of reports or official records issued by police, courts, medical personnel, school officials, clergy, social workers and other social service agency personnel. You may also submit any legal documents relating to an order of protection against the abuser or relating to any legal steps you may have taken to end the abuse. You may also submit evidence that you sought safe haven in a battered women's shelter or similar refuge, as well as photographs evidencing your injuries.

C. A copy of your divorce decree, if your marriage was terminated by divorce on grounds of physical abuse or extreme cruelty.

Do you have this evidence in your possession now? If not, you may need to consider filing in the D - I entered into the marriage in good faith but the marriage was terminated through divorce or annulment category. For this the evidenciery proof is the same as for the I-751 based on ongoing marriage PLUS you must include the final divorce decree.

-P

can I check both categories? D & E? my lawyer said that we actually can do it: The advantage of showing additional grounds for waiver is that if you are denied by USCIS, in Immigration Court you can only seek to remove the condition on your residency on the grounds that you claimed in the I-751. If the ground was not claimed in the I-751 you may not raise it at Immigration Court.

I do not have any evidence for extreme cruelty by my ex husband. But now i think if I ended up filing as E, I can may be use VAWA??!! thoughts?

No, please see Part 2. Basis for Petition on the I-751 petition, there is notation that you must (Check one)

Why did you check box E if you did not have enough evidence to prove the extreme cruelty from the very beginning? Did you not read the instructions, and see all the evidence you must include if you claim that particular basis?

As for your next steps...theoretically if you have successfully withdrawn your previous application (you did this right, and have confirmation of it?) you can re-file based on category D- good faith marriage that ended w/ divorce.

BUT, I really think you need another lawyer, a good one and who can explain your options to you better OR, please inform yourself a lot better regarding this process. Please do not take this the wrong way, but you're throwing terms around without really understanding their pertinence to the immigration process or understanding the implications of your actions.

-P

I really agree with you on everything you wrote above, and really appreciate all the help, advice and information. I'm very lucky that I found this site. Unfortunately where I live, there are very few if not only 2 immigration lawyers. and they want $ for every word coming out of their mouth. so it makes its really hard to get a good advice regarding the situation. I really, really appreciate all your help.

Might not be a bad idea to schedule an infopass appointment to find out what your options are at this stage, but it seems you don't have the evidence to prove abuse. You may just have to pursue it as a divorce from a good faith marriage.

Excellent, excellent idea.

so, you don't think I should try to do VAWA?

so the instructions of what you should have done were right there sister --- why on earth don't you just submit what they ask for?

I have the feeling your lawyer is an idiot --- he should be telling you all this. And he should know about VAWA.

that's the feeling i'm getting about my lawyer as well... unfortunately already stuck with him...

but going back to the evidence: what do you mean submit what they ask for? my understanding is that they ask to proof that extreme hardship will be caused if I will be removed from the country. am i correct? i didn't file my application based on it. so this is where i get confused.

That RFE you received says that they [uSCIS] thinks you to be filing under the extreme hardship category. do you have a copy of your original petition that you filed? What box(es)es did you check in Part2 of the petition?

i checked box E

can you check more than 1 box?

It is pretty simple:

they are asking for 2 things:

FIRST: your divorce decree.

SECOND: they did not think your evidence of hardship was enough. You need more evidence.

As simple as that. what does your so called attorney have to say about this?

my lawyer wants just to refile everything.

I did mail them divorce decree. but of course could mail it again.

As for more evidence, i don't have anything (except affidavits from friends and family). should I try to go to couselor and ask to write a professional letter confirming my mental/ controling abuse from 3 yrs ago?

don't you think it will be jus teasier to file as category D: entered in good marriage and we got divorces.?

Makes a bit more sense, yes.

You will need documentation if you plan to file what is known as a VAWA claim (Violence Against Women Act). Didn't you lawyer tell you this? Is he an immigration attorney or a family law/divorce attorney?

As far as withdrawing your already filed petition; I have no clue if it can be done.

Sorry I could not be of more help; but your case seems to be complex.

this is such a great information. My lawyer is supposedly an immigration lawyer, BUt i don't really trust him. and I cannot change him b/c i paid him a lot opf money already.

how do i start a VAWA claim? how long does it takes? should I go to a counselor and ask them write a letter. Is it might be a problem that it was 3 years ago? it's not too late for filing now about it? I never wanted to "deal" with the abuse and make it "public" that's why we just got divorced and I don't know where my ex husband is now...

wouldn't it be easier to just file as we were married and got divorced?

thank you so much for all the information... you have no idea how I appreciate it!

You will be best served by reading the guides here, and browsing a little through the Forums, paying more attention to the "Effects of Major Family Changes on Immigration Benefits" forum.

In order to file under Petition Basis category E - I am a conditional resident spouse who entered a marriage in good faith, and during the marriage I was battered by or was the subject of extreme cruelty by my U.S. citizen or permanent resident spouse or parent, you will need to provide the following information:

If you are filing to waive the joint filing requirement because you and/or your conditional resident child were battered or subjected to extreme cruelty, also file your petition with the following:

A. Evidence of the physical abuse, such as copies of reports or official records issued by police, judges, medical personnel, school officials and representatives of social service agencies, and original affidavits as described under Evidence of the Relationship; or

B. Evidence of the abuse, such as copies of reports or official records issued by police, courts, medical personnel, school officials, clergy, social workers and other social service agency personnel. You may also submit any legal documents relating to an order of protection against the abuser or relating to any legal steps you may have taken to end the abuse. You may also submit evidence that you sought safe haven in a battered women's shelter or similar refuge, as well as photographs evidencing your injuries.

C. A copy of your divorce decree, if your marriage was terminated by divorce on grounds of physical abuse or extreme cruelty.

Do you have this evidence in your possession now? If not, you may need to consider filing in the D - I entered into the marriage in good faith but the marriage was terminated through divorce or annulment category. For this the evidenciery proof is the same as for the I-751 based on ongoing marriage PLUS you must include the final divorce decree.

-P

can I check both categories? D & E? my lawyer said that we actually can do it: The advantage of showing additional grounds for waiver is that if you are denied by USCIS, in Immigration Court you can only seek to remove the condition on your residency on the grounds that you claimed in the I-751. If the ground was not claimed in the I-751 you may not raise it at Immigration Court.

I do not have any evidence for extreme cruelty by my ex husband. But now i think if I ended up filing as E, I can may be use VAWA??!! thoughts?

so the instructions of what you should have done were right there sister --- why on earth don't you just submit what they ask for?

I have the feeling your lawyer is an idiot --- he should be telling you all this. And he should know about VAWA.

that's the feeling i'm getting about my lawyer as well... unfortunately already stuck with him...

but going back to the evidence: what do you mean submit what they ask for? my understanding is that they ask to proof that extreme hardship will be caused if I will be removed from the country. am i correct? i didn't file my application based on it. so this is where i get confused.

No,. it does not make much sense - sorry

You filed already?

sorry...

I really appreciate your try to understand my situation.

I will try to explain myself.

I did file already I-751 to remove the condition of the green card. It was in March of 2008. since, then I did biometrix, and then in dec of 2008 I got letter from INS requesting more evidence (to prove extreme hardship. I never checked extreme hardship box in the application). However, the letter that they mailed me was not related to my case. At this point, I decided to hire a lawyer. So, my lawyer said that it's easier to withdraw my application that I filed in March of 2008 and re-file all the papers again.

So, now he says that I can file as if I entered the marriage in good faith, but the marriage was later terminated due to divorce. BUt at the same time, I do have base to file as if I was subjected to extreme cruelty by my husband.

So, my worry is that i don't know if I have enought documents to proof the extreme cruelty by my ex husband.

makes sense now?

You received a letter requesting further evidence (RFE) on your initial I-751, but it was not related to your case? What do you mean? If it was not related to your case, why not just clear that up with USCIS, why hire a lawyer? Your timeline still does not make sense...how can you be divorced for three years now, but only have filed the I-751, less than a year ago? Do you have conditional or permanent residency? Because you withdrew your first I-751 (the one filed in march) and are divorced, you no longer have a basis to file to remove conditions based on your marriage. You now have to file by yourself, and prove that while the marriage lasted it was bona-fide. Filing a VAWA claim three years after the termination of the marriage, is probably going to require a lot more documentary proof that affidavits from friends/family and after-the-fact visits to a counselor.

-P

here's the letter that I got with request for more evidence. Seems that they are asking to proof extreme hardship. When, I checked the box for cruelty and NOT extreme hardship that will be casued to me if i'm being removed from the country. I tried to call USCIS, but they could not provide any information on the phone, and i didn't know what else to do, this is why i hired the lawyer.

I_751.pdf

Makes a bit more sense, yes.

You will need documentation if you plan to file what is known as a VAWA claim (Violence Against Women Act). Didn't you lawyer tell you this? Is he an immigration attorney or a family law/divorce attorney?

As far as withdrawing your already filed petition; I have no clue if it can be done.

Sorry I could not be of more help; but your case seems to be complex.

this is such a great information. My lawyer is supposedly an immigration lawyer, BUt i don't really trust him. and I cannot change him b/c i paid him a lot opf money already.

how do i start a VAWA claim? how long does it takes? should I go to a counselor and ask them write a letter. Is it might be a problem that it was 3 years ago? it's not too late for filing now about it? I never wanted to "deal" with the abuse and make it "public" that's why we just got divorced and I don't know where my ex husband is now...

wouldn't it be easier to just file as we were married and got divorced?

thank you so much for all the information... you have no idea how I appreciate it!

No,. it does not make much sense - sorry

You filed already?

sorry...

I really appreciate your try to understand my situation.

I will try to explain myself.

I did file already I-751 to remove the condition of the green card. It was in March of 2008. since, then I did biometrix, and then in dec of 2008 I got letter from INS requesting more evidence (to prove extreme hardship. I never checked extreme hardship box in the application). However, the letter that they mailed me was not related to my case. At this point, I decided to hire a lawyer. So, my lawyer said that it's easier to withdraw my application that I filed in March of 2008 and re-file all the papers again.

So, now he says that I can file as if I entered the marriage in good faith, but the marriage was later terminated due to divorce. BUt at the same time, I do have base to file as if I was subjected to extreme cruelty by my husband.

So, my worry is that i don't know if I have enought documents to proof the extreme cruelty by my ex husband.

makes sense now?

Wait. You have been divorced for 3 years and are now trying to remove conditions? When did your green card expired? If it has expired already -as I am guessing it has from your post- and you did not do this on time; you are out of status.

no, i'm still good to go on my status.

we got divorced few months after I got my permanent green card. and a year ago (in March) i mailed all the papers to remove condition...and from there it's a long story...so, not I hired a lawyer, and he recommended to RE-file I-751. make sense?

during my marriage, my husband was very controling, and eventually he got verbally abusive and sometime physically. BUT, i never got anything filed against him or documented anything. Now, we been divorced for about 3 years. I'm thinking of filing to waive the joint filing requirement "because you and/or your conditional resident child were battered or subjected to extreme cruelty".

My only proof for right now is the affidavits from my friends and family. but i know that you need professional letters. I can go to counselor, but it was 3 years ago... Do you think I should just file as I entered the marriage in good faith, but the marriage was later terminated due to divorce or annulment?

Please advice...

Trust your lawyer and follow his advise. From your side of the story, his position seems reasonable.

Thank you for your reply. But, have you ever heard of checking more than one box in the application to remove condition? I feel that it's just asking for more trouble and confusion.

Hi, my case kind of complicated... I got married in 2005. We were married for a little over a year. during our relationship the relationship went from "honeymoon" to hell in very short time. and it was the reason for divorce from my american husband. He even opened a cc account under my name and spent $10,000 without me knowing it. eventually when the creditors came after me, it was very easy to prove that it was a fraud!.

anyway, in March 2007 I was already divorced and filed to remove condition from the residency. In the application I checked box that said :"we entered the marriage in good faith, were divorced and I was subject to extreme cruelty by my citizen spouce". few months later, i got invite for the biometrics, and then suddenly I got a letter requesting more evidence for extreme hardship that will be caused if I will be removed from the country( I don't check that box, and not sure why they requested it from me!!!). so, i hired a lawyer. He recommended to REFILE THE APPLICATION AND check BOTH boxes: that we entered the marriage in good faith and got divorced AND the box that I checked previously that we were married, got divorced and I was subject to extreme cruelty by my spouse".

My question is: IS IT NOt GOING TO COMPLICATE EVERYTHING?

my lawyers reasoning is: The advantage of showing additional grounds for waiver is that if you are denied by USCIS, in Immigration Court you can only seek to remove the condition on your residency on the grounds that you claimed in the I-751. If the ground was not claimed in the I-751 you may not raise it at Immigration Court.

My other question is: I don't really want to go into the mental abuse that I went throu ( and I don't have any papers to support it for right now). Probably could get letter from conselour (but it happened almost 3 years ago!!!). DO YOU THINK I SHOULD JUST file my waiver application based only on me having entered into a good faith marriage and having terminated the marriage through divorce?

PLEASE HELP!!!! I was suppose to provide more evidence and my deadline is over by few days. My lawyer says few days is OK. Is it OK if i'm withdrawing my previouse waiver application and filing new one???