Hana_Lisa

I believe until anyone experiences the emotional stress and lack of respect from someone they really love and care for, especially if and when they gave up very important things to be in a new country, they would realize how tough and upsetting the situation is.
Old Dominion. Thank you, I will explore the Catholic Church option when necessary.

Another quite "amusing" example is I want to send everybody gifts for X'mas and asked if he has this gift tradition. He responded nobody sends me any gifts, why should I send them. That was awkward to me. Everything has to be earned in this relationship. I am just a pet. If I am nice, I get a bone. If not, go die on the street. I truly feel this way.

Dear Mrs Jibowu, Gigii, Old Dominion, Sylvia n Joseph, Nigishkaw, Brad and Vika ,
Thank you all for your kind support. I suggested couple therapies but he refused to go. I am helping him with his business and we are blessed that business is going very healthy. I though sometimes feel he is using me. He would talk about work, usually tell me what to do for him at work from the moment I wake up until the minute I go to bed. When I say let's talk about it when we get to work when I cannot take it anymore, he says I am stubborn and I have to let him talk (our fight at 1:30 am last night on the street evolved around this similar issue).
Since someone mentioned he may feel I am needy, he basically has no responsibilities, except letting me to stay at his place which I contribute financially for it. We spend most of our times apart now. I love going to museums, a day in the park and just go outside to explore. I usually invite him but never force him to go with me (but don't you think he could at least show me around?) so I just do what pleases me on my own now.
No drinking or drug addiction.
He talks down to his parents or gets into fights nearly every other time we have lunch or dinner together. He is extremely impatient. He laughs at his parents' English accent when they make an effort to speak to me in English (they are from Russia). Older people usually speak slower and he would rush his parents to finish in three sentences (he does this to me too). I feel very sorry for his parents.
He does not see how it is to give up my family, friends and work. He said I have a better life here, which I honestly do not, both financially and emotionally. Then he would make some unreasonable arguments like Hong Kong, where I am from will be come communist also and they will arrest people and I would mostly be fired by my company because economy is not good (again, not true!).
Sorry for all these negative news I am located in New York. I found an organization called Safe Horizon. I will give it a try though I am not sure if they only serve women who are physically abused only (but not verbally). I will take care of myself and do what makes me feel better.
Thank you all for helping me to remain strong.
Hana

What a wonderful and supportive group this is! While I am very excited and grateful to have found this forum, I am sorry to have to share some unpleasant experiences with my husband since we got married Please feel free to let me know what you think.
I am here for six months now and I am awaiting my green card approval. I remain without a job as I do not want to break any laws and am living on my savings from my former job in my home country. I noticed my husband starts losing temper very easily. Something as small as I could not hear him well and asked him to repeat twice could trigger his short temper. We had a small argument on the street tonight. I said we can talk tomorrow and it is cold. It was 1:30 am. He stopped me on the street and demanded to finish the conversation before we went somewhere warm. I told him I was very cold and he said he does not care. He also said if I talked one more word, he would throw me out on the street and I will be going home. I at times feel that this is getting abusive. I would constantly watch what I say and sometimes had rather not to say a word so to avoid conflicts.
These are only two of the many incidents that happened in the past 6 months. There are plenty more. I am not sure what I should do now. I love him and want to understand what is going on. When I told him I am upset about this and I miss home, he said I need a therapist. He would not ask me why I am upset at all. He also picked on my English accent all the time and when I did not speak right, he lost patience and said how come I cannot speak a word correctly as I spent enough time here - 6 months!
What should I do?

I also am going through similar situations like yourself. My problems are not completely resolved yet but I agree with other VJers that communication and compromises are the only two ways to a better marriage - although sometimes we could be so stubborn that we fail to do what needs to be done, especially when anger and resentment are involved. It is a long journey that requires tremendous willingness, understanding, awareness and cooperation. If both of you mutually desire to give it a chance, try counseling. It is always easier to have a mediator, at least there would be no yelling or threatening.
On being submissive, my personal experience attests that it does not work. I married to a culture where men expect women to play a certain role and strictly, which is very different from my own where men and women are equal. The more I behave submissively, the more my husband demands of me because this is how he is brought up. He talks down to his parents and nobody would say a thing about it. There was no single meal that his mother cooked he did not have complaints for. I can see where he is coming from but it does not mean I have to put up with that.
The bottom line is you both deserve to be happy. There is nothing wrong to walk away, regardless of immigration status. It is easier said than done now. I hope things work out for you, either way.