forced-divorce

In part you're right, a family should look out for the best interests of their offspring...but if said offspring was man enough to get married, IMO the family needs to back off and allow him to figure out his course in life without their pressure. He may be younger, but in the eyes of the law he is an adult and made an adult decision by marrying. The parents are being unreasonable in thinking that they can sweep in and seek an annulment of the marriage.

Why is this young man just 'naive' for falling in love and marrying this older woman, but OP is playing a game if she tries to save the marriage?"

THANK YOU.

And you are absolutely right - I am a career woman and that's why a super powerful firm brought me to the US. Accusing me of secretly wanting to be a financial burden on their family hurts. That, besides of accusing me of having a green card as a main interest. Man, people can be mean.

Immigration implications of this situation aside....this meddling family should be careful. Their precious child may, at some distant future time, turn around and blame them for their love induce interference.

-P

I have been thinking about what you said lately. I would be so mad at my parents if they did something like this. Parents can express their opinion, but shouldn't psychologically force anyone to do anything.

Thank you guys for all the support you gave me.

I came here for hearing good supportive words, but people have prejudice and unfortunately I heard also some accusations.

I decided to leave. I am withdrawing my application today. I lost the man I love and now I have to restart my life and pack the life I had for the last years. No one deserves to go through something like this.

I wish his family could see that we had a strong love and support us. It is too sad they couldn't and succeeded in separating us. I know it will hurt for a long time, but I should be strong now.

You can say whatever you want, but I married him because I love him. He also loved me and wanted me to stay, and that's why we did it. And who said they think I am looking for a green card? That's not the issue at all.

I have a very fancy profession and a resume that people envy, and will get a job in a minute when the economy gets better. Meanwhile, the plan for when I got a greencard, was to work in whatever I can find. I am ONLY not working because I didn't get an EAD yet. I am NOT looking for no one to support me as you imply. You are having misconceptions, as his parents probably are.

Of course we did not ask his parents to co-sign anything. And I have too much dignity and pride and would leave the country if I couldn't support myself. I don't need anyone's money. I have been here for months now supporting myself without a job and haven't asked no one for a penny, am living on my savings from when I worked.

They can look out for their son. I understand any parents would. But as they don't know me that well, they probably are being unfair and thinking the same things you are.

Yeah, sure they are looking out for what is best for their son. But I was too. What makes you think that I wouldn't be the best for them??? I love him, I always supported him, and I have no dark secret wishes towards him.

You are talking like all conservative people. I mean, good accepting families accept sons and partners even when they're gay... And I don't think it's the parents right to separate people like they did. That's my opinion. Maybe I am too romantic. I tried to part and couldn't cause he was all I ever looked for in a man.

I think you guys are a little hard on this 22 year old guy and his family. It’s easy to see how they could think that FD is just looking for a green card. The circumstances and her comments certainly could be viewed to point in that direction.

And let’s not forget that for FD to get this green card, a 10 year Affidavit of Support has to be completed by her husband, and FD doesn’t even have a job, or any future prospects. So, his marrying her is more than just an act of love to help her stay in the US, it’s a ten-year commitment to support her. And even though FD never said what her “husband” did for a living, there’s a big chance that his parents might have to co-sponsor the affidavit of support, putting them on the hook for helping out their son’s new “wife”, as well.

Some of the comments here make it sound like the husband’s family is being unreasonable. IMO, they are just looking out for what’s best for their young, naïve (i.e., first love / older woman), son which is what every family should be doing.

The OP should be trying to find another way to rectify her immigration status, as opposed to playing this game of “GOTCHA” with her “husband” and his family. USCIS will see right through this at the AOS interview.

I should have used the word "could" rather than "would", but I still think that the circumstances that have brought her to this difficult place are quite understandable and not all that uncommon. The issue then becomes how to articulate it and whether that could improve her chances of remaining in the USA.

First, there are many factors that can come into play in a family's acceptance of a partner. Most especially in a family that is from a different socio-economic level than the new spouse. I don;t find it at all odd that a family can place pressure upon their son to change the course he has chosen. Whether he capitulates to such pressure is his decision alone, and from what I am reading, he has allowed that to occur without really understanding what consequences that has on his wife. We don't know what his parents have hung over his head to cause him to shift his views, and perhaps he has to grapple with that and make a decision as wo what is more important to him.

A forbidden love affair, that has consummated in marriage, against the pressures placed upon them by family members if presented as such, goes to demonstrating that the bond between the two was greater than one of convenience. It can explain why they resided in separate abodes after exchaning marriage vows. His decision to capitulate to the familial pressure and choose to terminate a marriage is unfortunate at this juncture, I'll admit, but if he's willing to stall the divorce, attend the interview, and vouch for the bonafide nature of their marriage, however frowned upon it is from his family, until she has acquired her AOS, all may not be lost.

I might be going down the path less travelled here, but the fact that the husband was concealing the marriage would work to her favour in proving the bonafides.

Really? How so?

Thank you, mermaid. Somehow I have the feeling you understand me a lot. You probably been through similar things.

We indeed have a bond that is quite incredible. That's why I am so shocked that he gave up.

My husband is only six years younger than I am, but we got married the year he turned twenty. I can't say he's mature about everything, but he certainly is an adult capable of making his own decisions. The first time I visited him, they 'sensed' something going on between us, although it isn't as if we were hiding it. They spent the better part of the next few months trying to tell him how it was a bad idea to be involved with me. But he was adult enough to say that this was what he wanted, and he was going to follow through with it.

They weren't happy in the beginning, but they accepted it, and me. We get along okay at this point and my family loves him. I guess I just wanted to say that a guy around that age can handle the burden/responsibility of being married and dealing with immigration issues, and a guy around that age can also be a man and stand up against his parents wishes if they don't agree with him. It sounds to me like your husband isn't really a man yet... and it's probably best to just let it go.

I envy you. I thought this was going to happen to me, too. We said in the beginning that I was only 6 older than him, and they accepted. I think they stopped accepting when they found out my real age by mistake.

Unless the family is holding a gun to his head, they are not forcing him to do anything. What ever he is doing, he is doing voluntarily.

You married a little boy...he is not capable of being an adult. Mommy/Daddy are mor important/influential in his life right now. Accept it and get on with your life.

I don't totally agree. Psychological pressure can be almost as strong as holding a gun at someone's head. I tell you this, because something happened that night. My love changed his mind and attitude towards me completely. It seems like he's another person. I have a feeling they said it's either her or us. He said that he owed his mom "everything". Man.

I'm sorry to hear that you are going through this.

Thank you I appreciate it.

I want to thumbs-up this. I have plenty of friends where the *timing* of their marriage was influenced by immigration law. In all cases they're bonafide relationships, and they would have been married eventually anyway. But the timing often coincides with someone finishing up a degree program (or getting accepted to one), or losing a job that carried H1-B status, etc. That's completely okay as long as the immigration benefit isn't the *ONLY* reason and the relationship is otherwise bonafide.

Well honestly, I do believe our relationship was bonafide till all this happened. We were trying to work things out. Things were getting solved as possible. Maybe not immigration-bonafide, but in my heart it was.

I can't really blame him. He's really too young. Who am I to judge what someone is able to do or not? I obviously would have acted different - my parents don't rule my life and never had. I think he just freaked out when the parents found out. It wasn't supposed to be like this. Honestly, I look at least 10 years younger and no one would say anything about my age unless they saw a document. And that's what happened, by mistake. It unraveled some family issues there, it seems. Man, if it was my family, they would be so understanding. They met my guy and loved him.

Apparently his parents felt betrayed by him and thought he was naive for being with someone much older. The problem is it seems like he started to agree with them. I think they must have used some terror strategies to make him see it was a big mistake that could mess his life.

I wish there was a way back, I can't stop crying, because I love him. But the thought of having to restart somewhere else after making a life here is also terrifying right now. I'm a wreck.

I want to thank all of you who tried to help me.

you hdid help me go through these terrible days and gave me some reality check, too.

thank you. thank you.

Thank you Sereia. You are very nice and thanks for the good timing... I just came back from some errands, and found myself crying in the middle of the street. Good think it's kind of a sunny day and I had sun glasses on - no one noticed.

Sorry it's so rough on you... I wish you the best of luck in the future! My advice would be to go home and reapply with another type of visa if you really want to come back in the future.

good to hear this, thanks.

see, I know it can work even with the age difference.

it is my guy who I thought was mature and apparently is not.

too disappointing.

Dont blame his parents. He is an adult and he knows how to be honest with them and say no. I am with someone who is 21 years younger and his parents know EVERYTHING about me and our marriage.

They may not like it but its HIS business..time he grew up

your better off without him:( best wishes

Thank you for your answer.

Maybe he made it more complicated than it should be. But I know he did what he could do so we could be together. I am disappointed on how things turned out, but I will have to live with that.

I would never ever do anything against him. He's great and I am sorry he couldn't stand by me for his parents.

Regarding the naive part... I saw it was complicated, of course - I tried to break up several times and he convinced me we were too good together to break up... and I was in love, and when you're in love you think that things will turn out right. He said he would move soon, he was just waiting for the right opportunity to introduce his parents to me. And he did it, before it all happened and then he did move in. I know the whole thing was not easy for him, so I gave him time to adjust... he was doing all the things he promised, at his pace.

With or without a divorce or annulment, I don't see how you can adjust status and not be seen as being in a fraudulent relationship. You've never really lived as man and wife. He didn't want his parents to know you were married and when they found out, he caved to whatever it is they have over him. It is unlikely that he married you for any other reason than to provide you a legal means of staying here. The sad thing is that it is HIM who made the relationship a sham, not you. At the same time, to ask him to change his mind would be to continue living the lie. And that isn't good for either of you.

I know you want to stay in the US, but it would seem to me that it is him who perpetuated fraud and perhaps a good lawyer could make a case for that. You acted in good faith. He did not.

At the same time, you are obviously an adult. Could you not see the problem in marrying a 22 YO who does not move in with you when you get married? Didn't that cause problems in the relationship? Didn't you realize that he was not as married as you were? Either you are very naive or perhaps you too wanted this to last until you got your green card. Those are the questions immigration will attempt to sort out. And I suspect that you're going to be on the losing end.

Get a lawyer. Talk to your employer, too. Maybe they can try to help. I really don't know.

I am more concerned about being able to return on a work or student visa in the future, and not be accused of anything because they might file for a fault grounded annulment or divorce. I wonder if when you file for any other kind of visa, they go and check if you are divorced, the reason, etc.

I believe they would check this if I applied in the future for another AOS... but I wonder about my ability to come back in the future.

The above statement is very very true. I have seen many cases of this board and others where the USCIS has called couples for interviews and issued RFE's mostly because the couple going thru divorce after filing a JOINT 751. They have a way to check local county databases for relationship activity. The things become more nasty with the USCIS when applying for citizenship. I have seen citizenship getting denied along with the original approved joint 751.

Thanks Old Dominion,

I just called them and unfortunately they only have immigration lawyers once a month and they are booked for the 18th.

They said I could come and see if someone didn't show up... I will. But no guarantees.

They set up an appointment for me on 3/18, but that's a week after my supposed interview... I don't even know if I'll be here.

I am so depressed today.

Let us know how your meeting with the Legal Aid folks turned out.

I answered this already, see below.

I think if you gonna start implying things, at least read the whole post.

What's the problem if the person married for love, it didn't work (not because her fault), lived here for 3 years already, but also wants to be able to stay?

Some people try to be nasty and don't understand what it is to be in this situation.

What should I do? I don't want to leave the US. I married him because I loved him and wanted to be with him, not to get the green card!

Is there any way to still be able to get the green card if he is not willing to go to AOS interview with me?

You say you married him because you love him, yet you seem more worried about staying in the U.S. than you do working on your relationship with your husband and your in-laws. I'm not trying to be mean, but with those two sentences back to back it just seems a little strange.

okay okay... here come the accusations.

Look, as I said - you guys don't know me and you only have my words that may be interpreted in a different way than what I meant.

I will explain my story: I studied almost 10 years to be a good competitive professional and get where I wanted. I got here, which ended up being where I wanted when I finished my studies. I met my husband after a year here. I fell deeply in love despite the age difference. think about it - if my main interest was citizenship, I would have picked someone less complicated...

The thing is I have a life here now, and all my friends are here. I don't have a life back home anymore after almost 3 years here. You see, I am sad, yes, because I thought I had it all till last week: I had a great life where I married the man I love and am super happy with, and I had all my friends and soon a license to look for work and feel more fulfilled as I don't like staying at home.

Now, what is happening is: not only I am losing the man I love, but also I have to leave the life I made here. I have no life anywhere else anymore. Can you imagine the feeling? Not only going through a terrible break up, but also being thrown away from the country I considered mine. I can't deny, it would be better now to be only suffering about the break up part - which is excruciating and devastating enough by itself. Going through that, and also having to figure out how to start a new life from scratch somewhere else, is like beyond what I consider something that can be taken lightly.

I am suffering deeply, I am disappointed with him, and trying to deal with the pain, but I am also trying to find a way to suffer less. I don't deserve to suffer so much and go through all this. No one does, especially when they did all in good faith and love.

I married him because I loved him and wanted to be with him, not to get the green card!

Is there any way to still be able to get the green card if he is not willing to go to AOS interview with me?

So... you do want the greencard. These 2 statements are conflicting...

thanks, but this all happened cause I WAS in a work visa and was laid off. I could not find a new job!!!

that's why he decided to marry me so we could stay together.

I have no timeline because I have another "real" profile here... I don't want people here to see who I am.

Should I be the one to file for divorce? Is that important so I have the power in my hands of not be accused by them? Oh man, I am running out of money

After reading your posts and the advice given consider the following:

Forget about your husband. I don't think it will work. I would not stay in US depending on the AOS with him. It just doesn't look right. When were you married? When did he move in? ... You don't have a timeline, so there is no information about when you filed for AOS, ...

I can understand that you want to stay in US, but you have to find a legal way to do that. If you withdraw your application you are no more here legally until you have another valid visa. If you don't withdraw your application, more likely it will be denied and then you are here illegally.

Is there a possibility to get a work visa? You wrote you did some professional degree. Are there visas available because of that?

Find a company offering a job with a visa! I know this will be hard and you might have to move, but you can stay in US.

Regarding the divorce: I would just go with the flow regarding that, get everything filed, don't let them blame something on you that is not there, then he can take the blame, not you. And get it done.

If you don't stay in US illegally you can file for other visas in future.

Wishing you luck.

Sib

this post repeated my last post by mistake... weird.

I don't want to play. That's not my question. I was just asking a legitimate question, can someone answer?:

when a petition is withdrawn, do USCIS pursue what happened to he marriage, if it ended in divorce, etc? I can't imagine they would bother, as the the petition for benefits were canceled. I am asking because I might one day want to come do a Master degree here, or maybe meet someone else and apply for AOS again, who knows - I am asking if I will have problems in the future if I withdraw my petition now before the AOS interview. Also, when applying for a new kind of visa, do I always have to show divorce papers and how it ended? That may ban me from trying to come again on other visas?

believe me, I tried twice already to talk with him. he really was convinced by them that he made a mistake. I would give everything for us to get back together. He said when we talked that he loves me, and I said the same. But he also said this can't work because of the different stages we are at (I want kids sometime soon, he really doesn't, etc.)

There's no no-fault divorce in NY. From what I read in the internet, the less painful way seems to be filing for a divorce after a one year legal separation.

Don't play with the USCIS. Period. They know everything, do have a way of finding out (all divorces have to be registered in public records) and will get you for Visa fraud if you do not tell them.

I might have misread something earlier, but I thought you said you could get a divorce with one year of separation. I got a no-fault divorce (well, it was adultery on jerkface's part but I would have had to subpoena the girl or hire a private investigator, etc, so it was easier (for me) to just go no-fault based on irreconcilable differences) and we had to be separated for 6 months, and this is because we had no children. Each state has different laws.

Either way, isn't there any way you can talk to your HUSBAND (not your high school boyfriend, not your crush, not your lover, your HUSBAND) to talk some sense into him? This seems pretty ridiculous that he's relying on his parents so much if he chose to marry you.

I am curious: Will I have problems in the future to get any kind of immigration benefits because all this is happening? What it depends on, for me to have trouble? Problems in the future are mostly by denied applications, or does it also depend on divorce result even if application is withdrawn?

Hypothetic future:

1) I come back after the economy recovers and am able to get a job and working visa. Will I have problems getting a working visa if my divorce ends with a nasty ground?

2) I come back after the economy recovers and am able to get a job and working visa. I meet another USC. Will I have problem adjusting status?

In my head, this is directly tied to whether I withdraw my application now with USCIS or not. If I withdraw, and don't get denied, I believe all will be fine in the end, correct? (granted divorce won't end nasty. or do the divorce results don't matter if I withdraw my application now?)

Better try to go sleep a bit more. I woke up at 4:30AM, I have been waking up after sleeping for 2 hours for the last week. I think my mind is processing all the pain and info and producing weird scary dreams cause I always wake up scared. I feel so weak and tired.

Thanks Sereia.

Can someone please confirm this?

I don't think USCIS would know about the divorce unless you or your husband informed them of it.

If he gets the divorce without me, god knows what they will use for grounds, no? I am scared of something like this. Can I sign papers while abroad if they send me, or does it have to be in front of a judge or legal person here?

If you really want to stay in the US, I would spend your time/money on an immigration lawyer to help you adjust status rather than on a divorce lawyer

I want to. But from what has been said here, I am losing my hopes. How would I do it?

I don't think USCIS would know about the divorce unless you or your husband informed them of it.

You can leave the country and your husband can file the necessary papers for the divorce. Even if you abandon it all together and don't leave an address of any kind, there are ways he can go about attempting to find you, and if not, he can get the divorce anyway. It just is more of a pain, requires more steps, and takes longer, but it can be done!

But to make things easier, I would tell him if he really wants this, to go ahead and file a divorce immediately, have you served in NY, give your response, then you can go. All of that wouldn't take much time at all.

If you really want to stay in the US, I would spend your time/money on an immigration lawyer to help you adjust status rather than on a divorce lawyer.

see, I can't sleep more than 2 hours straight so here I am back.

I should go to the doctor get a sleeping pills, it's been a week I don't sleep well.

cjgator, we have no no-fault divorce in my state. Unfortunately.

mamatom, that's true... after what happened all is too risky and problematic. I understand I should be careful with what they can do. Problem is... they're rich and I know they gonna take a super good attorney. I am the one in the gutter.

Question:

If I just withdraw my application for AOS... and then wait to see what we decide with the divorce-annulment later...

Does USCIS gets reports on what happened to a divorce that is not petitioning for adjustment of status? How would anyone know, outside divorce court, what happened with the case? (That unless if I will ask for another AOS in the future and have to show the divorce papers)

Another question is: what does a foreigner do when he is waiting for divorce - annulments to be done and he wants to leave the country? Does the process get judged without him necessarily, as if he abandoned the country? Can he leave a contact address, even if it's not in the US?

The problem is there are NO acceptable grounds for annulment in NY, as far as I know.

All of them are fault based, and the only one they could use on me is some sort of fraud. (The others are mental problems etc) Unless there's another ground I am not aware of... (I read about the lack of cohabitation in one website).

I am not sure I understood your first few phrases: Asked like a woman in a bona fide marriage? Not. An annulment would completely sink your status adjustment but if you were to accomplish it with that as grounds, it might negate a finding of fraud on your part.

Well, he is the one who promised to move in and always found excuses. Isn't it abandonment?

Asked like a woman in a bona fide marriage? Not. An annulment would completely sink your status adjustment but if you were to accomplish it with that as grounds, it might negate a finding of fraud on your part. The problem I see is that you can't abandon somebody you were never with. Staying at your place for a few days long after the marriage took place hardly qualifies.

Mutually seeking the annulment on some sort of grounds acceptable to both is probably a better solution.

Why is the annulment disastrous for AOS? Is it because it has to be by fraud only? I read somewhere that not living in the same house was accepted as an annulment reason in NJ.

Why is the affidavit of support important? I don't think he is worried about having to pay anything regarding that. He signed one, but we needed a co-sponsor (a friend) as he was studying in the last years.

It seems although we would have to wait one year, abandonment/separation will be the least worse case, correct?

Can I file for annulment before they do, in the grounds of he abandoning me or something similar?

Wow, annulment sound like more of a nightmare than divorce does. But divorce has the one year rule.

- No, divorce and annulments are the same: the result is ending the marriage (and splitting whatever is there to split - but is not your case...).

The grounds for each of them are different also, the consequences of getting an annulment might be disastrous for your AOS (immigration application).

Regarding the time: if any of them is contested can take forever (actually until one or both of the spouses are flat broke and cannot fight anymore or settle).

If is not contested/uncontested can take less time (depending on the court's calendar for uncontested cases).

And yes, on the ground of abandonment - it's one year minimum (... uhhh ... if you think about it, it takes 9 only months to have a baby).

I believe they will want to work with me so we all find a less-terrible solution for us all.

But well, it's true... you never know what to expect. They already "took" him from me in quite a cruel way, so I should not be naive about how they might behave in the future if it's in their interest.

- Let's cut to the chase. Who signed the affidavit of support for you ?

Why is the annulment disastrous for AOS? Is it because it has to be by fraud only? I read somewhere that not living in the same house was accepted as an annulment reason in NJ.

Why is the affidavit of support important? I don't think he is worried about having to pay anything regarding that. He signed one, but we needed a co-sponsor (a friend) as he was studying in the last years.

It seems although we would have to wait one year, abandonment/separation will be the least worse case, correct?

Can I file for annulment before they do, in the grounds of he abandoning me or something similar?

Wow, annulment sound like more of a nightmare than divorce does. But divorce has the one year rule.

- No, divorce and annulments are the same: the result is ending the marriage (and splitting whatever is there to split - but is not your case...).

The grounds for each of them are different also, the consequences of getting an annulment might be disastrous for your AOS (immigration application).

Regarding the time: if any of them is contested can take forever (actually until one or both of the spouses are flat broke and cannot fight anymore or settle).

If is not contested/uncontested can take less time (depending on the court's calendar for uncontested cases).

And yes, on the ground of abandonment - it's one year minimum (... uhhh ... if you think about it, it takes 9 only months to have a baby).

I believe they will want to work with me so we all find a less-terrible solution for us all.

But well, it's true... you never know what to expect. They already "took" him from me in quite a cruel way, so I should not be naive about how they might behave in the future if it's in their interest.

- Let's cut to the chase. Who signed the affidavit of support for you ?

It's very simple: we are computer and internet addicts. We stay in a computer even when we are not working. That has always been our preferred way of communication when not together.

While I was working, we chatted the whole day through the internet (while I was at work and he too). When I lost my job, we chatted the whole day too (me from home and he from work).

During the dating period, we would meet about two nights a week. the other nights, we would chat online instead of talking on the phone for very long. It's just the way we are... we have hours of deep conversation this way.

wow, I just realized this may sound weird for most people!

But does it work if you have proof or relationship-dating for one year? I have pictures, emails, phone calls, millions os pages of online chat...

Here's one part of your story that I don't understand. You say that you have pictures, emails, phone calls, millions of pages of online chat...

Well, for many of us on VJ we also have those things because we are maintaining long distance relationships with our loved ones in different countries. So those artifacts ARE our relationships until we can be reunited.

But it actually seems a bit odd that you would be relying upon that kind of evidence as your proof of bona fide relationship when you and your husband are not separated (from your story I gather you live in the same city in the US). I can certainly understand photos and phone calls, that's common enough for couples that live together. But "millions of pages of online chat"? Why ?

Lots of people who are in love are not married and lots of people in bona fide marriage relationships are not in love.

Maybe I made a mistake at the whole way I looked at this from the beginning. It is not that much about love, and love by itself can't make a marriage work. May god help me now...

Maybe I will check the charities.

- yes, they will help with the immigration issues (not divorce as far as I understand ...) which are your first step now: to find out your options.

How does an annulment occur? do I have to "agree" with what they say? Of course I wouldn't agree if they made up things. so if I don't agree, what happens?

- you will receive/be served with the complaint (allegations) and you will have 20 days or so to answer. Like in divorce proceedings, there are grounds for annulments (only a few) the only one that they will try (if so) will be fraud for immigration benefits. You have to answer to the complaint (usually people hire lawyers to do this). You can choose to deny the allegations. At that point it will be a contested annulment case (the same as a contested divorce; it can take years finalize). If he has a lawyer, you should get one too otherwise you will be directly dealing with his lawyer.

Try Legal Aid or pro bono attorneys (no fees).

You are innocent until proven guilty.

I think they would prefer an annulment to get his little son out of "trouble" sooner than later - and not have to wait 1 year or so...

- it doesnt matter what you think that they think ... they can file for annulment at any time and so do you for the divorce, only that, in NYS your only ground on a short term marriage would be cruel and inhuman treatment or adultery (the constructive abandonment needs to be 1 year... that means that if he abandoned you, you have to wait 12 mo. to be able to file for divorce. 11 months are not good enough... ).

He told me why they act like this.

- I know that they might have told you but the point is what you can prove.

They think he shouldn't have such responsibility at this age, with someone much older.

- ok. this is not ground for annulment so, they will try to stage you. Get evidence, record it.

I bet they would WANT me out of the country and far from his son actually...

- If you can get evidence supporting this, you might stand a chance to be able to defend yourself.

________________

You want to know the easyest or quickest way to get out of the marriage ? Uncontested divorce.

One spouse file for divorce and the other do not answer the allegations (but usually the parties agree upon this).

Or you can have a separation agreement - which is like a "deal" between the two of you and where it states that you will live separately (as if not married) for a year... (not recommended ).

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Talk to your husband and try to solve the situation in a friendly manner. If you get lawyers involved and he is not agreeable to what you want/need ... there is no end to the expense....

Wow, annulment sound like more of a nightmare than divorce does. But divorce has the one year rule.

I believe they will want to work with me so we all find a less-terrible solution for us all.

But well, it's true... you never know what to expect. They already "took" him from me in quite a cruel way, so I should not be naive about how they might behave in the future if it's in their interest.

You don't understand. I never questioned whether you loved him. I said you wouldn't be married at this time if you had a different way to stay in the USA. This is because HE would NOT have married you. NOT necessarily because he doesn't love you but because he wasn't ready to be your husband. "Love" is not the standard USCIS uses to evaluate a bona fide marriage relationship. Actually conducting the relationship like other people with bona fide relationships live, is the standard they use. "Love" in and of itself is not only not enough but isn't actually one of the requirements. An arranged marriage where loves comes later if ever, can still be bona fide. It's not that common in our culture but even in those relationship, the husband and wife cohabitate after marriage if they're in the same country.

A bona fide marriage consists of two people IN the marriage, not just one.

wow. I think you totally opened my eye now. I really did not think about it this way. I didn't think it was about living as expected by society. I thought it was about proving the love etc., and doing it through evidences.

Most places in the US have a Legal Aid Society or its equivalent. If your finances qualify you for free legal representation, that's the place to turn. It's good, in your case, to get started right away. Forget anyone advising you to trap the parents or do something otherwise unlawful.

Thanks, I just checked them. Their local office here is by his parents house. Should I laugh or cry?