amnyc86

3600rs: When I said that this is a unique situation, what I meant that all this happened via the airport, not that no other USC has not been in my situation.

Actually, to be honest, the way he changed after marriage was an absolute shock. His statements, his rudeness, just his whole way of being I certainly did NOT anticipate. I wouldn't have gotten into a marriage w/ a man who could have been the way he was if he showed me his aggressive side at all. I guess that was the problem. I didn't get to know him in the real light. But in a way that was difficult due to the distance. Anyway, that chapter is over, and closed.

And I never implied that his behavior is fraudulent. Like I said, my concern is my safety and well-being.

3600rs, do you suggest that I write anything to any of the offices? Now that they already started their investigation, is there any point for me to even inform them in a letter of what is happening. My thinking is that these offices(ICE, USCIS) are all connected right, and would be in the know about each other.

Well, anyone please chime in w/ recommendations....

Thanks!

When I spoke w/ the Imm Officer at the airport via telephone, she reported that he had told her that I am waiting outside w/ divorce papers, and that we had been seperated. I am not sure why she said that; is it b/c that's what he told her, or that they assumed. She and another officer did specify that he has 30 days to return w/ proof that he is married to a USC. In this situation what would be HIS next obvious step?

I had spoken to someone who is a bit more familiar w/ imm proceedings. He also was unsure why they would have stopped him just b/c of the OP, as the OP was not active prior to him getting served. He also agreed as many of you have had your doubts that the GC and passport was confiscated solely on the basis that he was getting a divorce, or had an OP. Again both of these papers were not viable as they were NOT served to him at that point. I told the officer this, when he contacted me, while he was being detained.

I suppose this is a unique situation for which there won't be any true answers. Like I wrote before, this is not ploy to remove him out of the US, rather I just want him away from me. I am thinking about my own safety. He was a terrible husband to me, and more than often a very selfish and a crude man. But if the US gov't feels that he should remain here, then he shall, as long as he won't be a lazy snake, w/ no shame to live off a hardworking woman's paycheck, especially when he is aware that I am living off this paycheck to the next. Having a small home is no joke, and the responsibilities are never-ending. Something perhaps he will never understand.

Please keep me in your thoughts as I return to court again this week. I am hoping that I get my OP maintained, he signs the divorce papers, and gets out of my life for good!

Thank you all, and will keep you posted.

Thank you all sincerely for answering questions, and adding recommendations.

At this time, my case is still pending at the family crt for the continuation of the OP. The judge kept renewing the OP until our court dates. We were told at the last court date, that he is asking for more time until his immigration status is declared, meaning they give back his conditional GC. But the judge allowed him to complete some form for financial support from me. This document has to be served to me, but it hasn't been. If he has $ for an immigration attorney, why seek money from me? Well one writer did call him appropriately a douche-bag. I guess the bag fits him just right.

We haven't even touched on the divorce. I hope that there won't be more issues with that. We don't have marital property, children, and have only been married for 12 months and 2 weeks. Out of that we were apart for 3 months while his papers were getting filed.

No one wrote back about if I should write to NCIS or ICE about this situation other than the VJ'r Zee. Please do let me know if I should proceed w/ a letter w/ accounts of the verbal and physical abuse to any of the offices. My thinking is why to write if they have already confiscated his GC and passport. And again, I did not know that would even happen. I think he did, b/c he brought his mother's death certificate w/ him in order to show the Immigration Officer at the airport. I suppose to show why he was away for 50 days out of the country.

I have forwarded some of your responses to my attorney. Hopefully she can take a look and have an understanding of this and be able to have an argument.

* To answer 3600r, yes I am of the same racial background as him, so no flags to be raised.

Thank you all again for your input, and suggestions.

report him to USCIS and ICE.

since he has conditional GC, so he could be deported.

but u ll have to inform USCIS of all this.

Will I have to report this to the local USCIS Office or the Vermont Center or both? I don't have his GC # but do have his SS#. He took all of the documents w/him like our marriage certificate, copies of the Affidavit of Support, etc.

Thank you Zee for your suggestion...will get on the letter.

To answer some of the questions:

1) I went to my family court to apply for the temporary OP(order of protection) which was granted until the court date.

2) I informed him that I am going to proceed w/ the divorce here in the US, and since he has no job, no family, and did not establish life here, he should remain in India where he has more support. He was told by his own family not to return to the US, but as usual did not listen to reason. He was notified that he will be served w/ divorce papers once he arrives here, and he should make living arrangements, etc. I had NO idea his passport and GC will be confiscated.

3) I was informed by the court that the OP is not active until he is served.

4) I hired a process server to serve him at the airport; I also had divorce papers filed which needed to be served as well. Since he was detained, we had to wait for over 4hrs outside in the car, for him to be escorted out by officers and then served.

5) My ONLY concern is that he stay away from me! I thought he would change, mature, and understand that in a relationship there are lots of ups and downs. Key word here being AND...we unfortunately ONLY had downs. Perhaps it was his male ego, his upbringing, his insecurities, his culture, I am not sure. I know that I tried my all in this relationship, and now it has come to this. If the US gov't wants to keep him here, be my guest. As long as he stays away from me, my home, and my family. If he is capable of getting employment, and maintaining a life, then good luck to him. I do not want to harbor any bad feelings, or energy towards him. All I know is that I do not at any cost deserve anyone like him, and want him and his negativity to be away from me.

I have not notified any gov't agencies of my current situation. My question is should I? In the posts, there were suggestions that I notify ICE, and USCIS? Would that be beneficial to me as the USC not wanting to do anything w/ him?

It is a funny thing, this Affidavit of Support and it requires you to "support" someone for 10 yrs, regardless of the status of the relationship.

My attorney, unfortunately is not well versed in immigration. The family court has allowed him to submit some paperwork requesting financial support. He has to serve those papers to me, which hasn't happened yet.

I am hoping this nightmare of a relationship to be over as soon as possible. I understand that it would be a dream come true if he was deported, so I do not have to worry about my safety or finances. I work hard, earn money, pay my taxes, and live paycheck to paycheck to maintain my small home, and middle-class life. Now he wants a piece of that?

If he does not have his GC to obtain employment, that is NOT my concern if he is choosing to stay here w/o any support. Where did he get $ to get an immigration lawyer is beyond me. I am borrowing from family to pay my own attorney.

I have been to court 3x so far, taking days off from work, w/o any real resolution. I am thankful that at least my OP is still in place, and he is away from me.

I will glady take any advice or suggestions my fellow VJ'ers may have.

I thank you in advance for all the help so far. Your kind words have really cheered me up and gave me courage to move forward. I feel a thousand times better now, than when I first posted and had no clue on what to do or where to go.

Ok so the updates are that he decided to return to the US on his own, despite me repeatedly asking for a divorce through the Indian system.

1) I filed for a divorce and he was served the papers at the airport

2) Got an order of protection against him which was also served at the airport

Problems:

1) his passport and GC was confiscated at the airport by Customs and Border Patrol

2) he has 30 days to prove that he has an ongoing marriage w/ the USC

I am totally lost as currently we are in and out of family court for the order of protection(OP) issues. It continues to be granted by the judge as the dates are being changed. He now has an immigration lawyer and is "fighting" for the passport and greencard. I am not getting any info as to what exactly is going on. The airport officers are giving me answers such as he will be deported, or that his status is in proceedings, etc.

Using the Affidavit of Support his court apptd lawyer asked for $600 a week for financial support!!!!!!!

He implied at the last court date that he will concede to the OP if his immigration status has not been compromised.

I had to hire an attorney for the OP, who is not familiar w/ immigration laws. I am hoping one of you VJrs can help me w/ some info. I would like to know what are his rights to remain in the country. Do I have to inform USCIS about me filing for divorce and the grounds for it? Is there any way to get out of the Affidavit if Support? You can't tell me that the US Govt would want someone to support an abusive man? He can't claim that he has a hard life in India. He has his father there, and had a job that earned 5Lakhs a yr for the past 7 yrs. He can easily go back to that company to get another job.

I am just very gracious that I do not feel threatned or on edge b/c he is NOT in my house!!!!

If anyone has any answers for me, I appreciate it from my heart. Thank you again for all your previous kind words. It gave me the strength and courage to move forward and away from a destructive person.

Thank you all for the wonderful and thoughtfull responses. I have contacted the Legal Aide Soc and am waiting for a return call. My husband does not think I would go through w/ this as he has called a few x leaving me msgs that he loves and misses me. He is now deciding to attend some computer course, and is thinking about returning to the US by the end of April!

I am just hoping that this nightmare will end by that time. He does not have keys to my house, that I am happy about so there won't be any surprises when I come home.

I remember the times when I used to stay later at work so I wouldn't have to deal w/ him, or pulling over and just staying in my car for hrs at a time.

Now, I'm so happy to be home, where I feel at peace.

Thanks once again for all your advice and patience in reading about my accounts.

I got the forms from the internet, but now I am not sure what to do next. Should I mail them out to the courts and his copy to him? Or is there another procedure? If anyone can help me and direct me which way to go, I would greatly appreciate it. Times are tough, and I am trying to save as much as money as possible wherever I can.

Thank you all for ALL the help!

Hello to all VJ members,

So I married a guy from India. We met on-line, went to visit him in 8/08, and things went well and decided to get married. Long story short we filed in India DCF in 5/09, and after some delays, he was given an immigrant visa and came to the US in 9/09.

Just days prior to our marriage, his family gave some problems which he did not handle well. I forgave, not knowing that forgiving is all I can do in this marriage. Only after being his wife, living w/ him did I realize that he was very irresponsible, verbally and physically abusive. I tolerated his outbursts, his embarrassing shouts in the streets, in front of his parents, etc. Finally, the physical behavior took toll where he exacerbated an old back injury and I couldn't sit up or walk for 3 days. His parents did nothing. I forgave him, b/c I loved him. I recommended many things to prepare for his life here. He heeded none of them, and decided to do it his way which was unsuccessful.

After many empty promises of change in his behavior, and came to NY, I realized actually nothing had changed. He became physical w/ me again after Christmas, and the relationship has not improved. I went to the police and filed a report.

I have told him many times, that I do not want to continue w/ this relationship, as I am not getting the love, respect or concern that I need. He has caused too much damage, and I feel that we are definitely not meant to be together.

He is currently in India for family matters. While he was away, I realized that I am much happier and at ease.

So far he has earned $6,000, and has assisted in paying $2300 in bills. Understandably, I earn more than him, and all my money is spent on house bills. When I ask him about his expenses, he has no recollection, and no answer. When he does go grocery shopping, all he manages to bring home is a gallon of milk, and whatever else his heart desires(cookies, candy, juice). Never eggs, meat. fish, rice, things he eats in the house. He has accused me of stealing his money, starving him, and abuse to both our families. Prior to leaving for India, knowing that I depend on him to pay some of the bills, he cashed his check and left. He did not even inquire once after getting there and settling in on how I will manage. I had purchased his one-way airline ticket, since he did not have any money prior to him getting paid.

Our marriage apparently will not work out. He is under the false impression that it will. I do not know why, especially when he has been a horror show from the beginning. He has said and done things to be that I cannot forgive.

What is my next step? Since he is already in India, can I proceed w/ filing for a divorce when he is there? My state does not allow no-fault divorces, so I will have to file on the grounds of cruel and inhuman treatment. CAN ANYONE HELP PLEASE?

No More Direct Consular Filing (DCF) in India??????????????

Hey Shergill...my husband and I (USC)went to NDelhi to do DCF but was turned away on May 13th...we were told by an American woman that they do not do DCF any more...and that we did not meet their residential criterias as I did not own property, pay taxes, have employment there etc...we both were of course shocked, b/c we knew someone who had gone to do this and was able to file...we went back w/ more info the following Mon 5/18 and was accepted...

I also met another filer(USC) who was turned away; her brother(USC) had in fact filed just 3 weeks prior and accepted...

So be careful, or be vigilent...they are asking more questions and want proof of residency...a joint bank account is recommended once the USC and Indian citizen has gotten married...

We are still waiting for the check off list/packet from the Mumbai embassy... I figured that there may be a delay b/c of the Memorial Day holiday, but now it has been over 30 days since we have filed...does anyone else have anything to add?

GQBabson...I also went to file DCF in NDelhi in Mid May '09 and still have NOT heard anything. My hubby went to the Mumbai embassy 3x so far w/o any info. Finally yesterday he gave a copies that we got from the "sweet lady" in NDelhi and they are supposed to get back to him. He has been trying to contact the NDelhi Consulate; either no one bloody picks up the phone, or sents a generated e-mail. Yes...this is rather frustrating b/c we were told that it may take up to 30 days to receive the packet in the mail...I think our packet is on someone's desk w/ ur packet...

One of our acquaintances got his packet w/in 3 weeks, and is now waiting for the interview date. But his embassy is through Chennai, so that probably makes a difference...

What to do other than wait?

Yes, you need to file in Delhi.

Yes, you can live with your husband.

You cannot file before 90 days of stay in Delhi even if you get married 2 weeks after your arrival.

You will also need to get your visit visa converted to a long term visa at FRRO before you can file.

For a civil ceremony, the registrar at the court will need an NOC from US embassy. Also, he will wait 30 days to issue you a certificate

after you get married in the court.

Must read;

http://newdelhi.usembassy.gov/acsmarr.html

http://newdelhi.usembassy.gov/uscisi130fil.html

Thank you Peace123...I wish you well in your visa journey as well...I am so nervous...hoping that all goes well...

Hello to everyone!

I recently joined and found out that this site which was recommended by a friend is rather helpful...So I am hoping that someone or anyone can help me...

I filed a I-129F at the Vermont SC in Oct '08 and awaiting the NOA-2. I am reaching the point of insanity waiting and from what I have read here over and over again is that the Vermont SC is way behind...

Spoke to a few folks about this DCF and I am seriously considering taking a 3 month leave w/o pay from a fed gov't job and get married in India. I have a mortgage here, and been w/ the federal company for over a yr...

If I were to go to India for marriage, I would live w/ my husband and his fam for the time being...

My questions are:

Will it be a problem if I live w/ my hubbie n in-laws for the 90 days required as I don't have any other residence there?

If I bring all the needed documents like tax return, mortgage papers, employment hx and paychecks, will that be enough to file for my husband?

From what I have read so far, I have to file in Delhi right?

We plan to get married about 2 weeks after my arrival there...should I file for the DCF shortly after our marriage or closer to the 90 day mark?

THANK YOU ALL IN ADVANCE FOR ANY ASSISTANCE AND ADVISE...

Hello to everyone!

I recently joined and found out that this site which was recommended by a friend is rather helpful...So I am hoping that someone or anyone can help me...

I filed a I-129F at the Vermont SC in Oct '08 and awaiting the NOA-2. I am reaching the point of insanity waiting and from what I have read here over and over again is that the Vermont SC is way behind...

Spoke to a few folks about this DCF and I am seriously considering taking a 3 month leave w/o pay from a fed gov't job and get married in India. I have a mortgage here, and been w/ the federal company for over a yr...

If I were to go to India for marriage, I would live w/ my husband and his fam for the time being...

My questions are:

Will it be a problem if I live w/ my hubbie n in-laws for the 90 days required as I don't have any other residence there?

If I bring all the needed documents like tax return, mortgage papers, employment hx and paychecks, will that be enough to file for my husband?

From what I have read so far, I have to file in Delhi right?

We plan to get married about 2 weeks after my arrival there...should I file for the DCF shortly after our marriage or closer to the 90 day mark?

THANK YOU ALL IN ADVANCE FOR ANY ASSISTANCE AND ADVISE...