jeffscharpf

Thanks for all the replies. I want to clarify that even though I'm raising him as my own, I would never stand in the way of his real father if he really wanted to have a relationship with him. I have a daughter from a previous marriage and we had joint custody when she was younger. That actually worked out as well as it could for a divorce.

I've met his father and have corresponded with him many times. He is not a bad guy, (not a great father lol) just didn't really care to take care of his son and moved on into a new relationship and another child. When they first came here he we exchanged emails, pictures, etc.. several times each year. Now he no longer even inquires as to how he's doing.

So it's not because I have some need to do any of this. I am only concerned for our son as he grows older, or as I said, if something happens to his mother, he is only 11, does not know the Romanian culture, does not speak Romanian, is really a virtual "American" lol (loves American football and most other sports, etc.) so I think he would have a hard time if he was forced to go back there.

It sounds like I just need to worry about her becoming a USC so he at least has that. If he grows up and wishes to visit his father, I would not stand in his way (unless of course we do the adoption).

On the other hand, my wife is pretty ...umm.. well.. positive that she will not let him do that lol.

I hope this makes sense.

Thanks again for all of the responses! Great information!

Jeff

Adopt him and get his citizenship certificate.

You could also get a lawyer well versed in estate planing in case something happens to you, your wife. You want to be secured on the legal side with the will, living will and anything else that may come up should something happen to either one of you.

Forgot to ask - has your wife naturalized yet? If she has, the boy is automatically a US citizen, she just needs to get him the certificate or passport.

Thanks for the reply. Some things to think about.

She has not been naturalized yet. We just didn't make it a priority

Sorry if this is a morbid question lol.. but..

My wife came here from Romania with her son in 2002 (K1). They both received green cards. He is now 11 has grown up in the US. His father has signed over all rights to my wife (back when they were divorced in Romania), but if something should happen to her, what happens to our son. I have not yet adopted him. He is not legally mine. He's been here since he was 3, everyone in the local community knows and loves him, it would be terrible to have to send him back.

What can I do short of adopting him? Is his green card still valid if something happens to his mother?

Also, if his father has signed away his rights in Romania, is this valid here in the US so I could adopt him?

(His father has given his word that he would not stand in the way of an adoption).

Jeff

Hello all. I didn't really know where to post this question, but this forum seems very friendly and insightful. My question is to those men (or women) from the USA who have married a foreign bride. FWIW, I do not assume there are more or less risks involved in marrying a foreigner than there is in marrying an American. I'm a little naive on the subject and I'd like to learn more.

I read divorce rates for K1 and K3 visa marriages are roughly 20%, which is great compared to the 50+% rates for American marriages. Do the rates vary much based on region? For instance, is the divorce rate higher for those marriages where the bride comes from Southeast Asia or the Caribbean, than say a bride from Russia or Norway? I have met some very sweet foreign girls, but I will be honest... my American buddies always tell me to watch out. They say they only want a visa.

I am not the sort of person who discriminates. I don't assume somebody from another nation has lesser values than I do, just because I am from the USA. To that extent, I will confess that I believe most normal men and women want something tangible in a partner. Whether it be money, security, love, his/her smile, his/her sense of humor. I think this is somewhat true at least.

There was this one cute Russian girl working at the beach and she called me after I gave her my number. She had to return home after the summer, but she was very sweet. All my friends told me she's Russian and that automatically means she loves you first and foremost because you can give her a green card and a better standard of living. Truth be told, I can't blame Russian girls if that is true. I mean, who wouldn't want a better standard of living? I think that's normal.

Perhaps some of you can shed more light on this subject. I ask this question, because it's a little scary nowadays to marry an American girl. The odds are against you. The statistics reveal over half the marriages end within a few years. So, by marrying an American girl, chances are I will be divorced and have to give up half of what I earned during that time we were married (regardless of whether she helped contribute to that). Even couples that have the best of intentions going in often end up in divorce. It's a little crazy if you ask me. So, I'm interested in the possibility of finding a girl in Russia or maybe some other country. Why is there such a stigma and no such stigma for American-American marriages?

You really need to find out who you are and what you want. Everything comes with a risk.

So what if you marry and divorce? So what if she comes and gets a green card and things don't work out? Who cares? Would it be the end of the world if she stayed here and moved on with her life? She is the one taking a risk, because if things don't work out after two years, she may be the one with a problem. She has to change her life.

After a divorce from someone that I thought I would be with forever, I had to take a look inside of myself. People change. That was many years ago. Personally I would never go back to an American woman now. Sorry but it's a different world for me.

I'm with a woman that I met online (believe me neither of us had any intentions or motives and I wasn't looking for a "foreign girl"). She is from Romania, and we've been together now for almost nine years. Her son came with her and I adore him (he's now 10). It just gets better and better. I'm more in love with her today than I ever was with my first wife, who I was with for 10 years and thought at the time was the one and only (don't we all? )..

When I first started the K1 process most of my friends thought I was crazy, same as you. But my logic was, well, ok let's say she's ONLY marrying me to get her green card.. she comes, we marry, she eventually gets her card, she divorces me.. so during that time, sex is great, I'm having fun, what do I lose? She left her country!!

If we don't get along, and we're both miserable, then we SHOULD divorce, and heck, she SHOULD have every opportunity to stay in this country if she wants to.

She risked many things to come here. what if I'm a psycho?? think of how scary that is for someone to come here not knowing. so... that's the way I looked at it. If it would not have worked out I would have said well hopefully this person can find what she needs here.

For some reason she stays with me ...she hates the winters in Wisconsin, she doesn't agree with our policies.. .. she's no fool. We fight about politics all the time. But she has found peace with me and I with her. Tough to explain that but we can read each others minds. This is really what love is to me.

I will say that she is much different than any American woman I've known. She's not traditional, or weak.. She doesn't believe in most of our psychology, in many of our methods. She is extremely intelligent. Very resourceful. Being under communism, she has been a "bad" girl.. almost being arrested for speaking out at times. In my opinion, had she been older at the time of the Romanian revolution (she was 12), she would have been one of the marchers (although she's opposed to guns and violence so it's hard to explain my rifle in my closet lol)...

Most importantly, she has opened my mind. We Americans are pretty close minded, face it. We really think the world is ours and this is the place to be. I could go on forever..

Sorry for the long response. If you have something for this woman, I say go for it. Life is short.

Jeff

Probably because they read the first page of the instructions for the form I-90.

I see. Then I guess this would have been mentioned at the interview or in the letter that comes with the card, since otherwise there would be no reason to read the I-90 instructions. Good to know.

Everytime we have been interviewed for anything, the officer reminded us of the next step in the process.

Wow thanks for all the responses!

Here is where I got the info about replacing your card when you turn 14. It's under "when do I need to replace my green card?"

"Also, if you became a permanent resident before you turned 14

years old, you are required to replace your card when you become

14 years old."

http://www.uscis.gov/files/article/B2eng.pdf

Am I understanding this correctly?

Jeff

Here's my situation. My wife came here in 2002 from Romania with her son (3 yo at the time) using K1.

We were married and after long delays she and her son both got their permanent resident cards (not conditional) in Jan of 06 so they don't expire until 2016.

Her son is now 10. I understand that when he turns 14 he has to get it renewed.

My questions are:

1) Since he is not legally my son, what happens to him if something happens to my wife? His father is in Romania. I have not adopted him (yet).

2) If my wife becomes a US citizen, does he have any more rights?

3) If I get approval from father to adopt, how is this considered (he's not an orphan of course)? I mean, the US governement website talks only of US couples adopting orphans from different countries.

I'm just concerned as he has no interest in his home country at this time and has grown up here. He would be heartbroken (as would I) if for some reason I had to send him back. He doesn't know his family there at all.

His father emails us occasionally but has no interest in him (he has a new wife and children). He does not send anything, nor do we want anything, I support him fully. There is no problem between my wife and him, so we don't forsee any issues.

Any advice? Should I contact a lawyer? (I want to adopt him but we haven't started that yet.)

Regards,

Jeff