Kevin and Guitar

Maybe she opened a new jewelry store ?

...and needs a loan to keep it afloat? LOL.

Nice!

I haven't posted since '09, and though I have not forgotten Guitar, I'm over the situation and have been for some time now.

Funny thing, though....

• I just got a message from her on Twitter. She lives in the SF Bay Area now, not more than 30 mi. from here.
• Have not heard the whole story, but sounds like she found a new farang, and things didn't exactly work out (big surprise).
• I'm not going to pursue this, but thought it would be interesting to post this little factoid.
• I am seeing an American girl right now. She comes with a fresh set of problems, but that is a different story. LOL.

Cheers, gang!

Dude, sorry about your luck. I've got to say that it takes a real set of ballz to post this here and respond logically and without emotion. My hats off to you.

Likewise. I found the posts here much more helpful than another Thai expat forum I have posted this problem on. I appreciate everyone's candor. Honestly, you guys ROCK.

My wife & I had three business in Thailand. Each included rental or lease of store fronts. NONE involved a written lease that included any time period such as we have here in the USA. When we decided to close them we simply notified the landlord & moved out. The rent had to be paid every month in cash. The inventory was all paid for in cash every week. As far as employees ours were paid every week in cash. These methods are pretty standard in Thailand.

A friend was taken in a similar manner. He was told it was a bakery in BKK. Same failed lease bit & same sad story about the employees. When he went to see her & was about to help with some money ect she couldnt take him to the location of the bakery. That night she stole his passport & cash & left.

I think you know what's up here already. The best thing about this is that you figured it out. This guitar was out of tune.

There are also good women in Thailand so dont lose faith.

This was the most helpful post of the bunch as I had no idea what the real story was regarding leases and employee contracts. It actually sounds feasible from her story, but now I know it's probably not true.

Thank you so much for your post!

By the way, it is uncanny about your friend being taken by the BKK Bakery Girl. I am shocked that the story and methods are so similar. A failed lease and a sad story about employees? Once I read that line, I know for certain that I am being conned. Ouch. Wow, I'm going to have to go for a walk now.

Wow. This is a really old scam now. It usually doesn't take this long to come about though.

Depressing to think that this is a scam.

Walk away. Count your blessings. I lived over there for 3 years. This kind of stuff goes on all the time. Keep reading stickman. I know it s*cks, but don't drop another dime into this deal. I have seen a few people get taken like this. They keep sending $ the entire time the visa process is working it's way through, and then when it comes time for the interview, they bail.

Thanks daboyz. I thought that this girl was the one that didn't scam as she didn't pester me for sponsorship. Just paying for food and drink when I visited. I had no idea that it was just one long set-up. You know, it surprised me after years of not getting scammed. Walking along the street, she would often point her finger at "bad Thais", like bar girls and freelancers, but who should that finger be pointing at now?

I have heard of the sponsorship, but not the marriage aspect of it where you send them money and then they bail prior to the interview. Makes perfect sense now though!

Cheers.

My wife & I had three business in Thailand. Each included rental or lease of store fronts. NONE involved a written lease that included any time period such as we have here in the USA. When we decided to close them we simply notified the landlord & moved out. The rent had to be paid every month in cash. The inventory was all paid for in cash every week. As far as employees ours were paid every week in cash. These methods are pretty standard in Thailand.

A friend was taken in a similar manner. He was told it was a bakery in BKK. Same failed lease bit & same sad story about the employees. When he went to see her & was about to help with some money ect she couldnt take him to the location of the bakery. That night she stole his passport & cash & left.

I think you know what's up here already. The best thing about this is that you figured it out. This guitar was out of tune.

There are also good women in Thailand so dont lose faith.

This was the most helpful post of the bunch as I had no idea what the real story was regarding leases and employee contracts. It actually sounds feasible from her story, but now I know it's probably not true.

Thank you so much for your post!

Dear Guitar,

The economy stinks really badly right now and I'm afraid I can't spare the money you're trying to ask me for. Hope you understand and still LOVE me, even when I can't send you any money.

Love,

Your unlimimted supply of dollars.

This made me laugh.

Thank you!

The answer lies within your response: she can't milk you any $$ and the sex starts to get same old, same old for her, so time to move on......

Who said anything about the sex?

Of course, that's the part that is awesome!

But, come to think of it, I'm not all that attractive. Could be!

It's probably more about the Baht. It's always about the Baht. Isn't it?

You need to change your thinking......"She's educated and has blah blah <insert appropriate number here> college degrees. Therefore, she's NOT a scammer! The more education she's got, the more sophisticated schemes she'll draw out for your baits!

Man, you have an excellent point there.

BTW, all those nights she spent with you and lied to her mom (actually it's her hubby), that's an indication she's a cheater! You've been messing around with a married woman (more than 50% chance is my guess)!

Not sure, but you could be right. How could I ever know? I've never been to her house, seen a family or a friend. Not one. It's the most telling thing. I'm glad I've never been confronted by a Thai husband!

Given what you've said it's impossible to know what the truth really is, but there is one thing that is certain... it's a bad situation & you need to get out of it.

You are right. I am done calling or mailing. The photos are going out of my phone.

My guess is that the real reason you posted here was that you were hoping other people would tell you that she's sincere & that you should trust her.

Well, just feeling out the situation, you know? It's so freakin' bizarre.

I can understand that, but there is little evidence to suggest Guitar isn't playing you (sorry couldn't resist the pun... but seriously she's bad news).

You are not the only that "couldn't resist". Niiiiiice.

Kevin. I know you are trying to work this all out in your head and musing so lets make it simple. Do a google search with Thai relationship scam, Bangkok relationship scam or just relationship scam. Read the many different relationship scams about just Thailand itself and see if you recognize anything. You will find many that are love scams from bar girls to so called middle class and even so called educated girls. ( You will see also why I say so called after doing some research).

Nothing would surprise me about Thailand. I used to have the attitude with her that since things "don't exactly add up", that I'll never give her money or be too serious with her. Just enjoy her company and have fun. I should have left things that way. I'm not shocked, just a little bummed out.

The sending money for medical is maybe an even bigger scam whether it is medical for them or a family member to many other ways. They are usually running the scam on others too and live quite well. Some seem sincere when "All they ask for is about 50-100 dollars a months" but run this by 10-20 and it adds up to real money. Usually it involves higher amounts and more guys.

When I visited once, she complained about a bum shoulder from her job as an office worker at a U.S. company. I believed it. Later, she asked me for $1000 for some therapy. I said no. Then later she asked me for a different amount, as if she was confused about the amount between me and some other guy. I think I ended up sending her $500 via Western Union. In 8 years, this was the only time I gave her money. When I saw her last, she claims to want to pay me back. Yeah, good joke! Looking back, I guess this was her first minor scam she played on me. The money is not a big issue. I considered it a gift.

He was right it may be the husband but I saw that it is usually just a boyfriend that they keep in comfort. Now from what little I know that 14,000 dollar amount is going to be lowered to a lot better sounding few thousand or less. (According to what the market will bare) After the shock of the huge amount a few thou will seem like nothing.

I would not be surprised if there is some "brother" in the background. I was waiting for it, actually.

The latest: Tried to call her and email her but still no contact. She has vanished. So, no contact with a lower amount. She knows I have a new higher paying job, so I am surprised. Stay tuned, though.

You will need to get over this and go through the stages of grief of course but be glad you did not get taken for too much as many have.

Thanks for your posts, I appreciate it. Getting over it will take awhile longer, but I'll be OK. The time I spent with this gal is worth a whole lot more than I have put out, so you're right, I am glad about that.

She's probably already married to a Thai.

You may be right about that one. Who knows what her true status is?

I'm not trying to hijack this thread or anything, but I would like to point out that many, if not most SE Asians think all Westerners are rich people. Which, in many ways, we are. But not to the extent they're thinking.

I was made quite aware of this by an experience I had with some Vietnamese strangers who didn't realize my wife was my wife. I won't retell the story here. But the attitude seems to be, "Well, they're rich, a few hundred (or thousand) dollars is nothing to them. Why shouldn't they give it to me?"

She knows that some people aren't rich. She knows that I am not in good financial straits. She knows I can't give her the 450,000 THB she needs for whatever reason. Which is why she has done a disappearing act once more.

Along the same line of advice everyone else is giving, if it feels wrong there's a really good chance it is wrong. Don't even think of giving her money... you will never it or her again.

I have refrained from giving her money all these years, except for the one time I sent her $500 for some "doctor bills" (I knew I would never see it again).

The thing that throws me is that this is not some scamming bar girl, this is a college graduate that has worked for major U.S. companies. I hate to think that all those tender moments we spent together were all to set me up for a 450,000 THB sting.

The thing about not meeting her family or friends is most strange, I think. However, she did live at home and never wanted to upset mama by bringing home a big, white farang boyfriend. Every time she spent the night with me, she always had to tell mama some excuse.

There are lots of things that don't add up about this situation. If she was trying to scam me, shouldn't she be more aggressive about marrying me rather than dropping off the face of the earth? Or perhaps she has moved on to her next suitor?

Wow. This is a really old scam now. It usually doesn't take this long to come about though.

Depressing to think that this is a scam.

Wait, I don't understand. She's suddenly and irreversibly walking away from 8 years' investment in a relationship on account of $14,000? Say it ain't so, brother! Surely it's just another bump in the road.....

Or another suitor is making a better offer and she is stalling me? This is Thailand we are talking about. There is a massive shroud, behind which, we have no idea what is really going on.

I honestly have no idea what the real story is.

But, I just accept the fact that I'll never know.

Hi Guys,

I'm new around here and posted awhile back to announce my engagement to a wonderful lady from Bangkok named Guitar. This is a woman I've known for 8 years and visited many times before deciding to get hitched.

After sending her the paperwork and many emails back and forth about her family details, etc., I didn't hear from her. While I was expecting the paperwork, nothing arrived. Emails sent, but not returned. I thought, "what the heck is going on here?".

When I finally did get ahold of her she came clean on a failed business venture down in Phuket. A costume jewelry store she opened but never did well and she had to shutter it. However, she was sidled with bills including a lease on the store and employee back payments. This totals around 500,000 THB (+-$14,000). She feels she has to pay this debt before leaving Thailand. Although it's not a huge amount, personally, I am not in a position to bail her out.

So, she's the one that called it off. She feels bad for not telling me earlier as well. This is devastating for me and I'm trying to sort out my feelings. I think I'll have to let go of my idea of being with her for now.

So sorry to hear abt it.

we cant never be sure what the future hold of us. anything can happen to any of us.

venturing business is never easy, never know what will happen.

will you be going back to thailand again?

I am sure you know much abt thailand.

but if have a time check out the Stickman's web site. well it goes for anyone going to thailand.

Here www.stickmanbangkok.com and www.stickmanweekly.com

hope u'll meet a good person as Guitar in the future

Hey, thanks johndecka.

You know, I was kind of ready for the other shoe to drop because there are certain things about her that concern me. Chiefly, it is that I have never met a family member or even a friend of hers in 8+ yrs. of knowing each other. Another is this business venture in HKT, which was going on over a year and I had no idea about it.

Been to Thailand several times and am aware of all its pitfalls, including dating (and being engaged to) women from there. I know of Stick and have read the mounting horror stories on his Blog and other Thai related expat sites.

Despite all this, I do love the girl and wish her the best. Perhaps it will work itself out, perhaps not. I start a new job on Monday at a big computer company in the SF Bay Area. That will keep my mind off things for a bit.

Hi Guys,

I'm new around here and posted awhile back to announce my engagement to a wonderful lady from Bangkok named Guitar. This is a woman I've known for 8 years and visited many times before deciding to get hitched.

After sending her the paperwork and many emails back and forth about her family details, etc., I didn't hear from her. While I was expecting the paperwork, nothing arrived. Emails sent, but not returned. I thought, "what the heck is going on here?".

When I finally did get ahold of her she came clean on a failed business venture down in Phuket. A costume jewelry store she opened but never did well and she had to shutter it. However, she was sidled with bills including a lease on the store and employee back payments. This totals around 500,000 THB (+-$14,000). She feels she has to pay this debt before leaving Thailand. Although it's not a huge amount, personally, I am not in a position to bail her out.

So, she's the one that called it off. She feels bad for not telling me earlier as well. This is devastating for me and I'm trying to sort out my feelings. I think I'll have to let go of my idea of being with her for now.

Clean coal? I'd like to see it happen if it is actually possible. Not for our nation, but for coal burners like China it might work. Especially if it was cheap and the governments burning coal actually enforced the clean coal process. U.S. companies would do very well if that happened.

For even interim energy, clean coal is not a good road to go down for the U.S. I'd like to see a massive fund should be put together to re-train coal miners in high tech or green energy building.

Coal mining and coal burning in the U.S. is just not feasible for the future. Creating renewable green energy is.

Want to welcome you. I am engaged to a lovely northern Thai lady, as well.

All the best

Pete

Hi Pete,

Is she camera shy too? I have few if any photos of us "together". They're mostly of me catching her by surprise. Not going to be easy proving our relationship with photos.

Hi All,

My name is Kevin and I just got engaged to a Thai named Guitar. Yes, like the musical instrument. I just want to introduce myself and my fiancé to you all as we will be in need of your expertise. I never realized how complicated this was going to be.

Our basic story is that we met online. I had a Yahoo! personals ad up in San Francisco back in 2000. Somehow the ad found its way to a newspaper in Bangkok and I was contacted by her. We had a fun little e-mail friendship going, but nothing serious. I found out a lot about Thailand, a country I was previously only familiar with by its cuisine. And her, this attractive 30-ish Thai that could speak English well and had a degree from one of the top universities in Thailand. At this time, I was working a lot in Tokyo and was "gently persuaded" to come to Bangkok to meet.

I met her in the lobby of the Novotel at Siam Square in Bangkok in May of 2001. It was not love at first sight, for her, at least. After all, we were "only friends" and she let me know that. After hanging out for 5 days or so, she arranged a trip to Cha Am for us ("separate beds!") and I agreed to it. I was to go there and she would meet me one day later. Basically, I was attacked on arrival! We had a lovely stay at the beach and I ended up extending my stay in Thailand to be with her even longer (this still happens for some reason!). I've been back to BKK every year since then and we always have a lovely time together.

I've loved her Guitar many years, but she only recently became available to become married to me. She has found another family member to take care of an ailing relative, a responsibility that has been solely hers for years now. She recently announced this exciting news to me, so 8 years after meeting online, we will finally be a couple.

More to come and thanks in advance for your good wishes.