Zi Zi

I never understood why people discuss politics in this kind of format. I feel that everyone already knows who they are going to vote for especially those who claim to be independent. I guess it starts with the politicians who sling mud and twist facts.(all party's are guilty)

It just turns into a thread to put down whomever you don't support.

The only upside is if you must....then this would be the way to go where you can remain anonymous. Right now at work we have people not speaking to each because of political discussions that went too far.

Ok..I need some suggestions....this bambino doesn't look like she wanna come...

My son was 2 weeks over due my ob told me to go for a long walk. I didn't think it would work but I was desperate so I waited until it cooled down at night and walked about 4 miles. At 3am the following morning I was in labor

Henia, he needs to have a real job, not risk his status working black jobs and getting arrested. Sounds like someone back in morocco is pressuring for money and the SIL is tired of sending it and wants to put it on the new guy. Yuck

Hey K! You know, I didn't even think of it like that, but I wouldn't be surprised if that's part of the reason...insightful! Maybe not, but it doesn't seem too far off if this is the case.

What is a Black job???

Who has thought of opening a business, store, shop in your SO's country ?

Who has actually done it and are you glad you did ?

were thinking of several businesses like taxi service, Boutique, computer parts and repair ( he is big into computers )

but have settled on a Rice and staples shop.

The initial investment is very low, $ 500 for rent for a whole year and $ 50 per sack of rice.

We would also sell oil, flour and sugar.

He wanted the computer store but I think it would be a hassle buying the parts for repair as they are not easily accessable

in Sierra Leone so the Rice and staples is more realistic.

It is fun planning and talking about it for us and to kick ideas around. ( The phone company loves our long talks about it too !!! ) It is so difficult to find work in S/L so we may as well open a business ourselves and he will be operating the store there since

it may take another whole year for him to get here. Then someone in the family or close friend can take it from there.

Just wanted to bounce ideas around.

Omaba,

Where would the business be located? In large urban area? In his area is there a certain industry(s) that provide good incomes ( I am thinking something to target those employees and employers.) When I did a real quick search for S/L and found the economic summary below:

Economic summary: GDP/PPP (2007 est.): $3.971 billion; per capita $700. Real growth rate: 6.8%. Inflation: 11.7%. Unemployment: n.a. Arable land: 8%. Agriculture: rice, coffee, cocoa, palm kernels, palm oil, peanuts; poultry, cattle, sheep, pigs; fish. Labor force: 1.369 million (1981 est.). Industries: diamond mining; small-scale manufacturing (beverages, textiles, cigarettes, footwear); petroleum refining, small commercial ship repair. Natural resources: diamonds, titanium ore, bauxite, iron ore, gold, chromite. Exports: $216 million f.o.b. (2006): diamonds, rutile, cocoa, coffee, fish. Imports: $560 million f.o.b. (2006): foodstuffs, machinery and equipment, fuels and lubricants, chemicals. Major trading partners: Belgium, Germany, U.S., UK, Côte d'Ivoire, China, Netherlands, South Africa, France (2004).[/b]

Reading it didn't give me any ideas because it pertains mainly to big business... but it might give someone else an idea.

I really like the rice and staple store(non perishable items) the only things I would worry about it competition but I am sure he would know where such a shop is needed.

You mentioned a taxi service. I read that S/l was trying to increase tourism. If he had a taxi service maybe he could concentrate on private airport transfers....you know the guys waiting for you with a sign. A lot of tourist when they travel like to be meet at the airport by a prearranged and driver and not have to the hassle of trying to negotiate a taxi at the airport. ( I say this as a female who travels alot international on business. My company will pay 40-60 bucks to have me picked up at the airport..when I can hail a cab alot cheaper. Believe me its nice to have someone waiting on you at the airport when you arrive.) He can promote this thru company's that bring in foreign workers or guest and with hotels...or with a website. When he doesn't have any scheduled pick ups he would just operate as a general taxi. Down side you would have to provide a car that is nicer than the average taxi.

Anyway thats all I could come up with.......

ZiZi

Great pictures....looks like everyone had a great time!!! Your party must of been better than the one next door....lol

Congraduations to you both

Thanks UNO,

Super mom for sure. Sleep is now a luxury to me. Up feeding him now.

Hey Mama

Congradzzzzzzzz

HI, MY FINANCE IS A MUSLIM HE ACTED THE SAME WAY.IT ALSO,CONCERN ME.I TOLD HIM IF HE WAS NOT GOING TO PRAY ,THE WAY HE WAS BEFORE I CAME I WAS GOING TO START BACK EATING PORK.(LOL) HE SAID HE WILL START BACK PRAYING WENT I LEAVE.HE NEED TO GO THROUGH A CLEANING CEREMONY. BECAUSE WE WHERE HAVING SEX.AND WAS NOT MARRIED.

Ghusl? That's just a shower basically.

Zi Zi-- I would like to add you may ask him what do wives "do" in his village/town/city... and in his family. Find out what is more or less "normal." I've found that most people in the world sort of assume you understand what is normal to them and then are surprised when you don't telepathically end up knowing what to do. Find out about their lives. You may find out that the men will wake up for fajr and she is expected to wake up before them all and make breakfast... stuff like that which if you were in the religion and familiar with the prayers it is a possibility that a family could operate like that. Finding out how much the women wander around and wander around alone is also a good idea... saves you the trouble of thinking you're going to run to the store and having him be like "not alone!" This can be related to the issue of mahram as easy as it can be related to culture. The above people were right-- this will just take a lot of different conversations to get through.

Julianna,

Good point!

This is in a way how I feel ....like he assumes I should automatically feel right at home in his world just because he loves me.

Hello,

I like to thank everyone for their impute. I am now just counting down the days until I see him again in Oct. So I have time to do my research and plan my inquisition ..lol I will be staying with his family this time so I will get a chance to be more involved in his family life.

Goodnite everyone

HI, MY FINANCE IS A MUSLIM HE ACTED THE SAME WAY.IT ALSO,CONCERN ME.I TOLD HIM IF HE WAS NOT GOING TO PRAY ,THE WAY HE WAS BEFORE I CAME I WAS GOING TO START BACK EATING PORK.(LOL) HE SAID HE WILL START BACK PRAYING WENT I LEAVE.HE NEED TO GO THROUGH A CLEANING CEREMONY. BECAUSE WE WHERE HAVING SEX.AND WAS NOT MARRIED.

I don't have to worry about the pork for some reason when I was in my twentys If found that whenever I ate pork it would make me sick. When I tell people I don't eat pork those who don't know me think its for religious purposes.

What kind of issues are you thinking of? My husband is a practicing muslim and I am a practicing christian. He comes to church with me and I go to mosque with him. (I don't fast though, I'm too greedy. Oh and a diabetic. )

I am not really sure....I just feel like there is some issues out there that I am not aware of. My SO has never asked me to to to Mosque and to be honest I wish he would. (I have been before but not with him). When I first met him I made it clear that I would never convert to Islam (not that he asked) And I have no wish for him to become Catholic. I am worried that he might think that I have a problem with him being Muslim so he hides that part of himself from me. I don't have a problem at all.

In his car and on his key chain he keeps a picture of one of his religious leaders. I am a devote Catholic but don't carry a picture of the Pope around. It is little things like that plus what I heard that tells me he his a more devote Muslim then what I see. Yes, if that is the case it really bothers me that he feels that he has to hides that side when I am around. I won't care any more or less for him based on his religion. Like I said before I hope to clear everything up in Oct. but just wanted to see if there was any other issues pertaining to religion that I might be missing that we need to discuss... for example like you stated food and fasting.

Bassi doesn't really speak about his religion. I don't think it's something that needs to be spoken about in his culture. I mean, like having a special conversation. So, your SO may not be hiding anything. He may just not normally feel a need to speak specifically about religious issues or practices. I spend a lot of time in church. I am very active in my church and my daughter attends a christian school. When something is such an integral part of your life, it's hard not to have your husband also be a part of it. He still doesn't think Jesus is the son of God, but he loves God and that's what matters most to me. I do make an effort to understand his needs, which means understanding his religion. I know that when I'm grocery shopping from next week, I have to have foods in the house that allow him to begin his fast and end his fast for Ramadan. That's something I wouldn't have had to think about before. He'll make special offerings, the way we often do at Easter and Christmas at my church. I have to understand his religion to plan our life around it and incorporate it into our life together. In this case ignorance is not bliss. I also wear head coverings in Ghana out of respect for his family even though they know I am a christian. For Bassi and I, religion is an integral part of our lives, so understanding each others religions is necessary to intertwining our lives. Bassi prays with me over tithes and I help him get together his offering. He prays with me at the altar in church and I pray in the back of the mosque (though sometimes I just play with the babies, but he can't see me anyway ) It's an ongoing discussion. I think you should start talking about it with your SO now. It's not a sit down and talk for 5 hours and everything is fixed kind of thing. It's more like you initiate an open discussion and maintain flexibility to deal with issues as they arise. For us, it's about ongoing communication and adjustment as with EVERYTHING at this point in our marraige.

I was just concerned that if he prays and goes to Mosque when I am not there, he should feel comfortable doing so when I am there.

I love playing with the babies also...his family doesn't understand why I don't want another one. The best part is giving them back at the end of the night

Okay I am free!

Since I don't like to deal in generalizations, I will simply write my comments based upon my own experiences. If I were in your shoes (and this is what I did) I would sit down and talk about the expectations regarding how you two will practice your respective religions. Certain questions could be asked, like whether you are going to fast at Ramadan or whether you will recognize certain holidays and if so how will you do it? In my experience these questions were answered in a series of conversations rather than one long talk. Prior to getting married we had talked extensively about our respective faith practices and we both came into the relationship with prior knowledge of the other's faith because he has a whole side of his family that is Christian, and I have people in my life that are Muslim. Plus I just accepted the fact that this conversation will be ongoing because things do change. Once we established the expectations, there has been little internal conflict for me.

Based on what you've written, both of you seem fairly open to understanding each other's faith practices, so it should be easy to start the talk about the expectations on your next visit. Also make it clear that you accept who he is and support what he has to do to follow his faith practice. Make it clear that he should continue to act as he normally would. There is nothing good to come out of him hiding or holding back if you two plan to be married. We have succeeded thus far by being completely open about what we feel or our concerns about the differences. But I think the key is for each SO to accept and encourage the other to be a good practicant.

As far as hanging the pictures of the religious figures in his car (I think you are talking about the "serigne") this is very common in Senegal. Not sure that your SO display of his serigne or teacher speaks to how strict a practicant he is. Only he can answer that. You should probably ask more questions about that particular thing to get some additional insight.

All in all it sounds like you are both very open, which should work in your favor! I felt like I was rambling above, so if you have specific questions let me know!

And I am happy to know that there are other Sub-Saharan couples like us. I really thought I was the only one here...so it's nice to know we are not alone!

Dear Taurean,

Thank you for the reply. I definitely will have a talk with him in Oct. in person. I don't want to do it via email or on the phone.

I did ask him about the Serigne, and his answer just made everything more unclear, but at the time I didn't want to pursue it any further since we were on the way to airport and I really didn't want to have a in depth conversation about religion at that time. He told me it was a picture of a teacher he use to follow but didn't really anymore. Oh ..so I ask why and he said he just didn't. I was wondering why his still had the picture.

There is so much that we need to discuss like ZeeNasah stated like drinking alcohol, talking to members of the opposite sex, etc etc. Also not just religious differences but cultural.

I do feel a lot of anxiety at times when I am in a social setting with my SO. I worry because I feel like I have to deal with 3 cultures..them African Muslims, me being American Christian and me being African. This being said no one in Senegal has ever made me feel bad or reprimanded me for any behavior. When in Nigerian if I commit any social faux pas my family will let me know. In Senegal there has been times that I have been unsure what to do.

For example the first time we went to a social gathering being a Ibgo you go in and shake hands with everyone in the room...so thats what I did. I was nervous because I read that some Muslim men do not shake womens hands. Everyone shook my hand none of the men recoiled. (When I am in Senegal for business I do not offer my hand to men to shake ) Then at the end of the night I did the American thing by giving everyone a hug.

I know that I will just have to live and learn and the more time I spend with his family the more comfortable I will feel. I just hope that until then I don't seriously insult anyone. Also I don't want anyone to get the wrong idea that I am not happy with him. We have so much fun together..but I am mature enough to know that there is more to marriage than the fun to make it work

What kind of issues are you thinking of? My husband is a practicing muslim and I am a practicing christian. He comes to church with me and I go to mosque with him. (I don't fast though, I'm too greedy. Oh and a diabetic. )

I am not really sure....I just feel like there is some issues out there that I am not aware of. My SO has never asked me to to to Mosque and to be honest I wish he would. (I have been before but not with him). When I first met him I made it clear that I would never convert to Islam (not that he asked) And I have no wish for him to become Catholic. I am worried that he might think that I have a problem with him being Muslim so he hides that part of himself from me. I don't have a problem at all.

In his car and on his key chain he keeps a picture of one of his religious leaders. I am a devote Catholic but don't carry a picture of the Pope around. It is little things like that plus what I heard that tells me he his a more devote Muslim then what I see. Yes, if that is the case it really bothers me that he feels that he has to hides that side when I am around. I won't care any more or less for him based on his religion. Like I said before I hope to clear everything up in Oct. but just wanted to see if there was any other issues pertaining to religion that I might be missing that we need to discuss... for example like you stated food and fasting.

Morning subbies

Maybe because you like swinging from tires They assume you have a thing for them?? Most likely just a heads up!

I have searched VJ for information, but what I come across about Muslims seems to be mainly about Middle Eastern. My SO is from Senegal which is 90% Muslim. I was born and lived in Nigeria which has a huge Muslim population and I don't have any experience with Muslims from the Middle East.

I am Catholic and at first was not at all concerned about the difference in religion especially since we both agreed that we do not want any children together. ( We each have a grown son from previous relationships.)

I notice when I visit him in Senegal he doesn't seem very religions. When they have calls to pray he never participates or goes to the Mosque. When I go to Mass he attends with me. Members of his family have married Catholics so he had been to Mass before he met me.

The problem is that from conversations that I have had with his family and friends I get the feeling that he is a more devote Muslim when I am not around. I find the Muslims in Senegal to be a lot more laid back than in Nigeria ...so it hard for me to tell with him. This is something that I will discuss in depth with him on my next visit ( hopefully in Oct)

When it comes to religions I don't want us to feel like either one of us has to defer to the other. If they are things that have to been done or can not be compromised on in regards to religion we should put them on the table now.

Anyone out there from West Africa with a Muslim SO who might have had any issues that they have come upon and dealt with ??

Zizi

The Mosque of Plage d'Ouakam, Dakar, Senegal

Busy day for me. I wanted to share with my Sub-Saharan peeps that I got offered a job today with a production crew doing a documentary for the UN. I'm not certain of the details but it has to do with a program the UN does where they sponser a group of ppl who go around Africa and teach the ppl to grow potatoes or something like that. I was approached by two of the producers for the project who are aware that I'm graduating next May with a BS in radio/tv/digital media production and a minor in foreign and international affairs. Also twice I participated in the UN simulations representing Africa so I learned alot about the issues there & I'm on the Borah Symposium committee which some of you know about. The only thing is the UN group we're traveling with is going into some of the most high risk areas such as Darfur, the Congo, and some other places they mentioned that I forgot about. I told them I was already traveling to Egypt next summer to be with my Husband and they said I could take him with me if he's allowed to travel around Africa with I believe he is. They asked what he does and I told them he's a Doctor and he speaks and writes fluent English and Arabic and he would be familiar with the Islamic customs in some of the regions we're traveling in so it would be very helpful. They litterly stood there with their mouths openned wide and stunned. Like it was meant to be! I don't know if my Husband would support all of this or if it's ligit but it sounds like it because they've been in production for 10 years and it's pretty awesome. They have a 10 month time frame.

So with that being said I'll be paying even more attention to Africa now.

WOW..great opportunity.

Zi Zi, what's Virgin Again? Will you please explain that?

http://www.americanlifestyle.com/theproducts.cfm?master=7030

I didn't order any so don't ask me if it works!!!

I wanna feel like a new woman all over again, too. I'm really wondering if that stuff works.

I'm off to get ready for work. I'll see ya'll later. I am soooo sleepy and cranky. Today is NOT gonna be a good day.

Let me be the first to say, good morning.

I just stick to Kegel exercises!!

Have a good day at work ... I hope it goes fast

Zi Zi, what's Virgin Again? Will you please explain that?

http://www.americanlifestyle.com/theproducts.cfm?master=7030

I didn't order any so don't ask me if it works!!!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

The wedding is in less than 3 weeks and I have received RSVP's from 150 people, But only 10 Nigerians....... How do you accomodate 125 addtional people who you expect to come but have not confirmed ......I have people still asking for invites,,,,,,,mind you every invite has a self addressed stamped envelope...so why are people calling me saying I'm coming....send in the damn envelope it is free to do so.

Well back to the people count I have to pay for every person and then I have to guess at the additional Nigerian Buffet. Guess? Should I accomodate 40 of 140.....or more? Why can't people just send the damn card in?

At $50 a head........I'm stressing over here..... .

I just had to get it out of my system......

I remember a few years back I hosted one of those ladies only adult Home Parties (you get my drift). None of the Nigerian ladies I invited RSVP'ed. I assumed that they were really offended. Anyway all but one showed up... and the one that did not come had me bring her the catalog. They ordered more then anyone else. My big seller that night was a cream called "Virgin Again" (Please don't ask me anything about that product I am too shy) I invited my Mom because she would of had a fit if I didn't and she found out. Thank god she only ordered some candles. I think I would of died of embarrassment if she ordered any of the racier products.

alright already

I am not surprised..tension in Nigeria between the Muslims and the Christians is very high especially in the North. Parts of Nigeria in the North are ruled by Sharia(Muslim) law and they wish to spread it nationwide. Some even want to succeed from Nigeria and form their own country. (The Hausa tribe in Kano State )

http://www.the-spark.net/np692402.html

A lot of my American friends are unaware that Nigeria has a huge Muslim population they assume it it a Christian country. I have a uncle who lives in the North and you better believe that me and my female cousins are very aware not to offend anyone in our dress or actions when visiting. I was there when they had the protest against the Miss World contest ...very scary. I prayed that another civil war would not break out like the Biafra war. When the Europeans divide up Africa in to colonies they should of did it by tribal lands. I think if that had happen there would be less war today in Africa (This is just my opinion)

• 2 mangos peeled seeded and cubed
• 2 cups fresh blueberries
• 1/4 cup frozen piña colada mix thawed
• 1 tablespoon dark rum

Directions

1. In a large bowl combine mango cubes, blueberries, piña colada mix and rum. Into 4 martini glasses or dessert dishes spoon fruit mixture dividing evenly. Garnish with blueberries, mango slices and thin lime slices ( I don't do alcohol so I would use juice instead.)

Hey Omoba,

I brought this Mango salad last night to a club meeting I had... I added strawberrys and used grapes instead of blueberries (couldn't find fresh blueberries at the store).....it was big hit.

Got these kegs of Guinness on sale...ya'll think ya'll can handle it?

We have a enjoy beer to last a while

Hi Guys,

Alot of rum was drank last night... just woke up on the beach. I saw a bag of chips...wondered where it came from until I saw Olivia's post. This is a private beach so you all can drop in when ever you like. If I am not here just make your self at home.

Peace

Gather round the fire folks!!!

TBT brought the fire so the party can continue as the sunsets.....here is more rum. Uno are you still hang on to that vine?

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I am bringing some Sierra Leone drummers so we can get our dance on and a Mango salad !

Thanks for the entertainment .....do you have a recipe for the mango salad. It sounds good!

:::hiccup:::: thanx for the invite. heres my beverage of choice...enjoy

Bahamian Goombay Smash

3/4 oz. Rum, coconut (Ole Nassau)

1 1/4 oz. Rum, dark

1/4 oz. Triple Sec

1/4 oz. Lemon Juice

3 oz. Pineapple Juice

1 whole Cherries/Maraschinos

1 wedge Lemon

1 dash Sugar Syrup

Mixing Instructions

Shake well. Serve in Hurricane glass w/cracked ice, a cherry and a sliced lemon on top

Don't drink to many Goombay Smash's or you might slide off that vine!

DWS---driving while swinging