mairejain

when my sis got divorced the first thing she did was go down and file for sole custody while waiting for the divorce papers to go thru........based on her husbands failure to appear for visits she had set up she ended up with full custody of the kids and does not have to contact him if she wants to move.....she only has to give the court her new address even if its in a different state.........many women that have not married to their childs father first thing they do when the child is born is file a paper with the court showing they have full and sole custody of the child.......he can later go to court and try to get it over turned.........but in most cases it dont happen..........i wish u well with ur court battles.........

Florida is a VERY different state. They feel that health-related issues, if they are not completely DIRE, do not take precedence to the father's relationship with the child; no matter how minimaly involved. Of course, now that we are battling it out in court, he will tighten up his act. For example, the court ordered three full days of visitation per week; he renegotiated down to 1.5 days per week. He picked the days he wanted. And he still misses many of them. I see that lots of people say ICE is slow. My son's condition is visually worse each month. I requested that his father accompany me to the doctor so that he can hear for himself what she has to say (that a move up north would greatly benefit him medically). He refuses to go, with me or alone.

No offense, but I think you have no idea, HOW slow they really are...

I am not telling you to NOT persue this, but for the sake of your child I would strongly recommend to try and get sole custody or at least to have the right to move without his consent.

I think it would be easier to concinve a court that he isn't too much into his child than go all the way through a deportation process.

If you want to file that report with ICE, go ahead, but I wouldn't wait for a result in your favor any time soon.

Just out of curiousity, do you have any proof that he tried to get you married to his brother?

I have an e-mail from him that contains a link to a website, and he listed a specific document that he wanted me to fill out. I didn't look at the document, but I noticed the link was something to the effect of 'Bring Alien to the U.S.' I wrote back to him, without looking at the form, and asked, why he wanted me to fill out that document. He said, 'to bring my brother here.' When I looked at the document, it was specifically for applying to get a fiance to the U.S.

im confused if u have sole custody of ur child why would u have to go to court to move to a place that is better for his health? in most cases where u live only come into play when u are married and divorced and it states in the divorce papers that u can only move 50 miles or what ever away from the father.......would interfere with his visitation rights.......if the father of the child is not supporting him and has not visitation rights other than what u allow how does he have a choice in the matter?...........and since he is not a citizen of the usa.........how does he have any rights to the child at all regarding his place of residence?

im sorry but i been following this and i guess i just had to ask these questions so i can fully understand the problem......i hope i didnt offend u............

Custody laws have changed GREATLY over the past few years. I do not have sole custody. I have what is called 'joint parental custody, with primary residential responsibility.' Meaning he can visit if he wants to, or he doesn't have to at all, or he can visit only WHEN he wants to (off and on, which is what he does). So, he DOES have visitation rights, he just doesn't utilize them consistently (i.e., missed three of 8 in February, and already missed one the first week in April; picks him up late, drops him off early). So, just as in a divorce, he can contest my moving more than 50 miles away.

No offense taken.

In response to earlier comments, I do not believe it would take years to investigate my claims, nor do I believe ICE would not take me seriously. I have been in contact with ICE already, just have not yet filed a report. I am not simply a 'third-party.' I was involved in this. He had overlapping marriage licenses and continuously claimed his marriage was simply for the green card--I have that in writing. AND, remember, he asked me to marry his brother. This is a Federal offense. To pound his fists on a table and demand 'rights' as a part-time father and keep my children from living a medication-free life (in an area with better education opportunities and less crime), well, I think that's NERVE. Especially when he lies on his income tax returns to avoid high child support payments and to avoid paying taxes altogether.

I only ask because you appear, to me anyway, to be more preoccupied with what could happen to them and his current wife not being aware of your trysts with him, than what else you can do to enable your child to get to a more healthy environment.

Not just to you, DM...not just to you.

I get the impression that if the OP simply packed up and left one day, this man wouldn't really be following along. In any event, I can't see a judge ruling against the child's best interest.

EXACTLY. It is VERY hard in Florida to relocate, even if the father is substandard, as my son's father is. He used this woman for the green card; I just dumped him timely enough so that it wasn't me (in fact, he cheated on ME with HER, which is one of the reasons I left). This MAY be the only way to get my son to a healthy environment IF he contests the move (which he plans to). It's extreme, but deaths from asthma attacks aren't predicted. They just happen. And I can't risk that for a 'father,' who has only been in a child's life for 9 months (and the child is not yet 2 1/2).

There is much more to this, and a few assumptions are clearly wrong, but I believe I have gotten some good information here. I will definitely update this post when everything unravels.

Any additional information anybody would like to add would be greatly appreciated.

I too think that it would be difficult to have him deported since the OP is not involved in his immigration process. I guess, reporting him won't hurt, but I doubt it would help her anything with the situation of her child. Even IF ICE would start investigating, it would probably take god-knows-how long until it would go in effect.

Mairejain, maybe it would be somehow possible to revoke his parental rights? Maybe a little "blackmailing" would do it, kinda like "You give your consens to me moving to a different are, or I'll report you to ICE for fraud."

Maybe you are lucky and he doesn't really know what exactly you would be able to do to him!?

I know that's a little drastic, but for the health of your children, I think I'd try anything...

Exactly my plan. I am more concerned with my childrens health than him ANY day. His wife does NOT know about all of this. I am sure if she knew the truth, she may take action (she HAS threatened him before). I don't want to go to this extreme, but I will if my hand is forced. He is under the impression that since his two years have passed, he's home free. I do not think after finding out that he has been cheating on her since DAY ONE, she will back him up. She just doesn't know yet.

And somebody mentioned earlier the form to remove conditions. If that person was referring to the I-75 form (or something to that effect), it DOES specifically ask about children. And, since it IS filed jointly, there is NO way he would have listed our son.

I thought you said that his current wife learned of your son in May 2007. I'm confused

She doesn't know about his CURRENT cheating or cheating THROUGHOUT the marriage. All she knows about is my son. And I was engaged to him before she was, so she has NO clue on any cheating at all. So he was able to explain it away. She also doesn't know that he sent me e-mails about divorcing her about a year into their marriage. Finally, she does not know (I mentioned it in my very first post) that he solicited me to marry his brother and bring him here. She's a really nice lady too. It's unfortunate.

I too think that it would be difficult to have him deported since the OP is not involved in his immigration process. I guess, reporting him won't hurt, but I doubt it would help her anything with the situation of her child. Even IF ICE would start investigating, it would probably take god-knows-how long until it would go in effect.

Mairejain, maybe it would be somehow possible to revoke his parental rights? Maybe a little "blackmailing" would do it, kinda like "You give your consens to me moving to a different are, or I'll report you to ICE for fraud."

Maybe you are lucky and he doesn't really know what exactly you would be able to do to him!?

I know that's a little drastic, but for the health of your children, I think I'd try anything...

Exactly my plan. I am more concerned with my childrens health than him ANY day. His wife does NOT know about all of this. I am sure if she knew the truth, she may take action (she HAS threatened him before). I don't want to go to this extreme, but I will if my hand is forced. He is under the impression that since his two years have passed, he's home free. I do not think after finding out that he has been cheating on her since DAY ONE, she will back him up. She just doesn't know yet.

And somebody mentioned earlier the form to remove conditions. If that person was referring to the I-75 form (or something to that effect), it DOES specifically ask about children. And, since it IS filed jointly, there is NO way he would have listed our son.

It all depends on how he entered the US. If he was here on a tourist visa and then married her, they would have had to file something in order for him to stay. But there wouldn't be any necessary time frame on that -- so long as he did not leave the country.

I'm not sure where you're getting the 'he must have filed at the one year mark' thing, but there's nothing specific about the one year mark that pops into my mind (even for someone here on a tourist visa).

I think I remember the one-year comment coming from him. He did not leave the country after marrying her until I think 1.5 or 2 years into the marriage. The forms I have viewed (and, believe me, I'm basically clueless, but I'm trying) show that he would have been asked if he had dependents. To which he would have responded 'no.' He would not have taken a chance that his wife would find out. I just don't know if he would have filled out any forms between February 2006 and May 2007, based on a marriage that occurred in April 2005. He would have filed VERY quickly--like the first day possible--anything that would start establishing residency.

What type of visa did he arrive on?

I have NO idea how he got here. He had been floating around on a temporary visa for maybe 6 months; I believe looking for someone to marry. I'm not familiar with this Immigration stuff. But, I am certain that he filled out some paperwork between February 2006 (when he was proved to be my son's father) and May 2007 (when his wife found out), which should have asked him if he had dependents. He would certainly have said "no," hence his wife's surprise to it all. Again, they wed in April 2005, I believe, so I am SURE there was something filed at the one-year mark, right?

This is long....my son's father and I are battling things out in court right now. We live in Florida and my son has allergy-induced bronchial asthma. He takes multiple medications/breathing treatments each day and I am attempting to move up north because he and my daughter from another relationship are constantly medicated. My son is two. Our pediatrician said it would drastically improve their health if we moved to an area that had fewer allergents. My son's father, however, who seems to still have emotional ties to me, refuses to agree to the move; so I have to petition the court, and, in Florida, it is not likely that the relocation will be granted if he objects to it. And he said he would object. Here's the issue. I had a marriage license with my this man, who is from the Dominican Republic, in March 2005. I broke off the engagement as I felt it was green-card related. He, in turn, and within two months, married another woman. He specifically mentioned to me that he knew somebody he could marry for the green card; I just didn't know he would do it. I notified him that I was pregnant in April 2005, but I had NO clue he had already married this woman (I believe he had a marriage license in Florida with me at the same time he had a marriage license with her in New York). Once the baby was born, he seemed to be back into a relationship with me (yes, physical and visiting me and the baby). I have several e-mails from him, which state that he loves me, etc. Some of a graphic nature, as well. Once I found out that he was married, he swore it was for green card purposes, and we continued to maintain a relationship; although, eventually I was uncomfortable with things and I ended it. I have e-mails regarding his having to wait two years, and how I need to have patience, and he loves me, and even one alluding to the divorce, which he had already planned one year into the marriage. We have a DNA test from February 2006, proving he is the father. He wed this lady around April 2005. I am SURE that he has had to fill out forms sometime between February 2006 and May 2007, which is when his wife found out about our son (she had no clue until May 2007). Would this scenario constitute marriage fraud, even if she may not be a party to it? I'm sure she will do the 'stand by your man' thing; but he also has a webpage (very current), which indicates he is 'Single' and 'Looking to Date Women.' To add to all of this, in August 2006 (six months after he knew, via DNA testing, that he was my son's father, and days before and after he sent multiple e-mails to me, telling me he loves me), he sent me a link to an immigration website, telling me to fill out a form. I wrote back asking him what he wanted me to fill out the form for. He said 'to bring my brother from the Dominican Republic.' When I viewed the form, it was one of those preliminary fiance ones. He has been married since about April 2005. Will ICE investigate this? Isn't it a Federal Offense to solicit somebody to assist with fraudulent entry of an alien into the U.S.?

I would discuss this with your attorney. Sounds like you'd like to have the father deported in order to move your son to a more healthy climate. It does sound like visa fraud, yes.

Next time, please divide your writing into paragraphs. It is extremely difficult to follow the above format.

Right, I should have broken it up. (Hence the "Newbie" next to my name.) And, yes, I would like to have him deported because he barely exercises his visitation with my son and pays child support sporadically, yet is trying to force me to stay in a place where my son can barely breathe.

This is long....my son's father and I are battling things out in court right now. We live in Florida and my son has allergy-induced bronchial asthma. He takes multiple medications/breathing treatments each day and I am attempting to move up north because he and my daughter from another relationship are constantly medicated. My son is two. Our pediatrician said it would drastically improve their health if we moved to an area that had fewer allergents. My son's father, however, who seems to still have emotional ties to me, refuses to agree to the move; so I have to petition the court, and, in Florida, it is not likely that the relocation will be granted if he objects to it. And he said he would object. Here's the issue. I had a marriage license with my this man, who is from the Dominican Republic, in March 2005. I broke off the engagement as I felt it was green-card related. He, in turn, and within two months, married another woman. He specifically mentioned to me that he knew somebody he could marry for the green card; I just didn't know he would do it. I notified him that I was pregnant in April 2005, but I had NO clue he had already married this woman (I believe he had a marriage license in Florida with me at the same time he had a marriage license with her in New York). Once the baby was born, he seemed to be back into a relationship with me (yes, physical and visiting me and the baby). I have several e-mails from him, which state that he loves me, etc. Some of a graphic nature, as well. Once I found out that he was married, he swore it was for green card purposes, and we continued to maintain a relationship; although, eventually I was uncomfortable with things and I ended it. I have e-mails regarding his having to wait two years, and how I need to have patience, and he loves me, and even one alluding to the divorce, which he had already planned one year into the marriage. We have a DNA test from February 2006, proving he is the father. He wed this lady around April 2005. I am SURE that he has had to fill out forms sometime between February 2006 and May 2007, which is when his wife found out about our son (she had no clue until May 2007). Would this scenario constitute marriage fraud, even if she may not be a party to it? I'm sure she will do the 'stand by your man' thing; but he also has a webpage (very current), which indicates he is 'Single' and 'Looking to Date Women.' To add to all of this, in August 2006 (six months after he knew, via DNA testing, that he was my son's father, and days before and after he sent multiple e-mails to me, telling me he loves me), he sent me a link to an immigration website, telling me to fill out a form. I wrote back asking him what he wanted me to fill out the form for. He said 'to bring my brother from the Dominican Republic.' When I viewed the form, it was one of those preliminary fiance ones. He has been married since about April 2005. Will ICE investigate this? Isn't it a Federal Offense to solicit somebody to assist with fraudulent entry of an alien into the U.S.?